Lance

The corridors of the castle are dim. It's midnight and most people are in their beds, but not me. I'm just walking around. I'm supposed to be in Castle Control, but Coran forced me to get out. I'm actually angry about not being able to get some work done, but I did need a break. I tried to get some sleep, but problem is, I just can't. Every time I close my eyes, my mind seems to come alive and won't stop long enough for me to rest. I see Keith lying in a pool of his own blood, pieces of Niloc lying next to him. I see the RoBeast blowing up into pieces, Vehicle Voltron standing victoriously next to its broken carcass. Then when I open my eyes, a numbness comes over me. My brain stops and I lie like a statue, unblinking. I get this overwhelming feeling that I can't fight back. I get restless and then I have to move around. I actually cleaned my room. That should say just how disturbed I am.

I'm turning into a fruitcake....or Keith, corridor ghost extraordinaire.

I wonder if anyone is having the same problem as me, but the energy to get up and ask them is beyond me right now. I don't feel like talking to anybody really. It's been two days since that demon, otherwise known as Niloc, was defeated, and slowly the castle is drifting back to its usual orderliness. But I can see from everyone's faces that they haven't bounced back yet. Bounced may be too active a word. They're barely crawling. Coran looks like the walking dead. I've never seen Sven's eyes this red before, not even after we went out for an all-night drinking binge back in the Academy days. Romelle hasn't cracked a smile for days. Gwen has moved into the nursery with Morgan. And from what I hear, Hunk hasn't been eating well.

Now I know something is wrong.

I find myself outside the medwing. Not a big surprise. I've been spending most of my time here, next to Castle Control, that is. The transparent doors make a soft whooshing sound as I walk through. The duty nurse looks up but she only smiles when she sees that it's me. I smile back. We have an understanding.

Keith's room is to the left, at the end of the hall. Allura's is next to his, and Pidge's is next to hers. How convienient. I walk into the room and surprise, surprise, he's lying there. I take a seat next to him. His face is almost as white as the pillow under his head. The heart monitor is beeping steadily, to my relief. At least Pidge is awake and on the mend, though he's kind of numbed by it all. They're keeping him here in the medwing, so he may as well pass some of his time keeping Keith company. It will help.

Allura's recovering too, supposedly, though I wonder about that. I was half-expecting her to be in here--it usually takes some work to get her to leave him since she's stuck here anyway, but I guess she must be getting some rest. Or she's doped up. Gorma's been plying her with drugs lately because she won't sit still. He was able to fix the outside damage Niloc did. I don't know if anyone will ever be able to fix the inside damage. She really grilled me over my report. Relentlessly. Every stinking, grisly detail. Anyway I was tired, and not watching what I was saying, and...I accidentally told her about Keith knowing Niloc's identity beforehand. In a way, I'm glad she knows. I just wish I hadn't been the one to tell her. God, I can't even begin to describe what I saw flash in her eyes in that instant. Did I try to call her an unfeeling bitch once? I take that back. She feels. She just hides a lot of it, kinda like Keith. But I could see in her face that she was hurt. Angry. And hurt. I wonder if she'll ever understand? I hope she doesn't go back to the way she was when first met.

If Keith were awake, he'd probably send for a shrink because we're all turning into headcases. I'm beginning to wonder if that's not such a bad idea. I for one am not going to sit for hours and talk about myself--I save that for the special women in my life--but I think the others might benefit from talking to one. You'd think after all we've been through, we'd be used to this sort of thing, but I guess people can only take so much. Besides, we've never had Pidge, Keith, and Allura down before. This situation is definitely new. I've never been the top dog before.

I have to admit, I didn't mind the responsibility at first. In fact, I liked being the one giving the orders. But after having done it for only a few days, I don't know how Keith can stand doing it for as long as he has. The pressure is overpowering. I was--still am actually--overwhelmed. I probably shouldn't give him such a hard time seeing as I have walked in his shoes. But, we'll see. His job is probably harder with me at his heels, causing problems every time I open my mouth, but I keep him on his toes. He can't be without me. I know it. I was the spice in his life...that is until Allura came along.

Now there's a romance in the making. The setting is perfect. Ravaged planet, damsel in distress, shining white knight coming to save her...I didn't know God or whoever is up there was a romantic. But, the story of Keith's life is filled with obstacles so this Princess has to be a walking open wound with a chip the size of the Denubian Galaxy on her shoulder. He's got his work cut out for him. From the look on her face these days, he's already cut that chip down to size. So there's another reason for him to wake up. He actually has a chance at royalty. And this could be it for him. I've never seen him this attached to a woman before. He's usually aloof with them. Don't get me wrong, he's no virgin, but---I don't know. He doesn't let them close. Must be something with losing things he holds close...

That's probably why he gave himself up for Allura. He didn't want to live if she died. He didn't want to lose anyone else.

Now, that's astute. I'm a lot smarter than I thought. Keith is one tortured soul.

"You better wake up soon, Keith," I say quietly. "So you can have your chance at happiness for once..." I smile. "Or at least a chance with Allura."

Nothing. He makes no kind of movement. He looks like he's sleeping. Hopefully, it won't be the eternal sleep. He's been my buddy for as long as I can remember. It's hard to find friends like him these days. I don't know a lot of guys who'd risk their lives for me. I'll admit, I'm not the easiest person to get along with. In fact, I'm a jerk most of the time. But Keith puts up with me. He must see something that other people don't. Or he just can't get rid of me. In either case, he is one of the closest friends I have next to Sven and if he's gone, I don't know what I'll do. Sven and I might get court-martialled if he's not around to watch over us. We've been close too many times, but he's always bailed us out. I hate being this dependent on someone, but since it's Keith, it's not so bad. He's a dependable guy. I think he likes that. Gives him a sense of self. Which is fine with me.

I check over my shoulder and I see the door is closed. Now that I'm sure no one is looking, I reach over and I put a hand on his arm. I rest my head on the bed and close my eyes.