TRANSCRIPT OF THE CONAN O'BRIEN INTERVIEW ON NBC EUROPE'S VIP WITH CATRINA SKEPPER
CATRINA SKEPPER'S INTRODUCTION:
My special guest tonight has been described as the funniest man on the American Chat Chow scene and the king of subversive chat. Not bad for someone who was a complete unknown four years ago. He is Conan O'Brien and his Late Night show on NBC is the hottest comedy chat show around.
SHOWS CLIP FROM 3RD ANNIVERSARY SHOW
- THE DEAD LADY IN AUDIENCE.
CAT: Conan over the last four years since you've been doing Late Night you've acquired many labels and one of them is that you're Mr. Cool.
COB: Er, in addition to Mr. Sexy and Mr. Pleasant Smelling. Those are the different labels that I have. I'm not Mr. Cool at all, I don't know why people get that impression. In fact I was a nerd in high school. And I was the one who was awkward around the girls. When I was a teenager I was 6'4" tall, and 155-pounds. Sodden by clothes. I was a freak show and it was very frightening.
CAT: Well you still are!
COB: Thank you! Yeah, well this is going well. This date's gone horribly awry already. So, eh, now I have this talk show and right now I'm wearing a nice little turtle neck sweater and I'm trying to act suave, but really I'm a mess.
CAT: Conan, you come from an Irish family, but you grew up in a Boston suburb, did that Irish humor affect you?
COB: Yeah, I was one of six children. Typical Irish household. We were a small Irish family of six. There was a lot of competition at the dinner table to be funnier than your brother or your sister or to top what someone else just said. And I think that's where I learned most of what I know today. It's just at the table.
CAT: A normal way of behaving for you.
COB: Yeah exactly and that's what you learn in those households, just to tell a crazier story, who can lie the best about what they did that day and get everybody else laughing. And my mother, I don't know if you've ever seen those movies with Margaret DuMont. Margaret DuMont is always saying "Well really!" that's my mother. My mother never got it. She was always saying, very proper, always studied manners, wanted us to always be well behaved. So we would all be acting crazy and ripping the kitchen table apart, acting like animals, and my mother was always saying "Now please, sit still, no that's not now I'm not going to have that, just sit still," and she's still that way today. If we do something on the show that's a little rude, she calls me up. "I'd like to think a son of mine wouldn't speak that way on national television." You know so she hasn't changed.
CAT: Keeps your feet on the ground.
COB: Yeah, exactly.
CAT: You went to Harvard University and both your parents are professionals. You must have thought you would also end up doing something quite serious.
COB: I was thinking about it. I didn't think you could make a living in showbusiness. I thought that A) that you'd need a lot of talent and B) that there was no money in it. And it turns out I was completely wrong. On both counts. Any slob can do it and there's tons of money to be had. So I'm having the time of my life. I'm glad that I realised about halfway through college.
CAT: You discovered your talent for writing when you were President...
COB: Yeah, there's an organisation...
CAT: Not president of the United States...
COB: Yes I was president of the United States for a short time in the mid seventies. Right after Carter and before, eh, Regan.
CAT: No body knows this yet?
COB: No, I wasn't very good. There's an organisation at Harvard called The Lampoon and it's the oldest, the second oldest humor magazine in the world next to Punch. And it was founded in 1876 and it's a prestigious organisation and I became the President of that organisation at a young age. They made me the President when I was a sophomore, and voted me again when I was a junior. This was kind of a big deal at the time and I remembered thinking "hey maybe I can do this."
CAT: Amongst other shows, you ended up writing for SNL and The Simpsons. Bart Simpson is a loveable rogue, do you identify with him at all?
COB: Bart Simpson was fun to write for, I really liked writing for Homer and for Mr Burns.
SHOWS CLIP FROM THE SIMPSONS
- the Stonecutter Episode
COB: Mr Burns is just a great character to write for. Because he's this old, eccentric who lives in a mansion and has a limmitless supply of money. We could always invent these crazy things that he has in his mansion. his strange sort of habbits that he has. We had him sleeping in a hyperbaric chamber like Michael Jackson in one of the episodes. There's a lot of fun things you could do.
CAT: We know that The Simpsons are an inspiration for others but you have a particular inspiration or obsession with that of Batman.
COB: Speciffically the Batman series from the 1960's I think was one of the funniest things.
CAT: Is it the costumes?
COB: No not the costumes, the actor Adam West. Just a very, an incredibly strange acting style and even as a kid I thought that guy's so weird, I gotta meet that guy someday. So a few years ago I produced a TV pilot just before the Late Night show, we put Adam West in it Because he's got the (impersonates West) strange... blurry ... feel... to every line. And it's just like where, did that acting style come from, it's very bizarre. We put him into a sitcom, where he plays an out of work actor who thinks he's a detective and trys to solve crimes. It was one of the lowest rated shows of all time in the US and I'm not kidding. I saw recently, the series was called Lookwell, there was one pilot and they aired it, I saw recently a listing of all time lowest ratings ever and it was second from the bottom.
CAT: Well, it's a cult following probably.
COB: Yeah, I think three people watched it.
CAT: So that was your sitcom career so far, but then you started doing improvisations.
COB: I know this improv is popular in Europe too and in England just making up sketches and scenes from suggestions. That's where I came from and I was doing that for years with people who later went on to be very sucessful. Patrick Bristow from the show Ellen, Lisa Kudrow and I were improv partners for a long time. I learned with really good people and I think that's helped me with the show now. I didn't learn stand up, which means telling jokes to people and at people, I learned to create something with somebody else, and listen and respond and that's great for interviews.
CAT: And you made that transition onto the screen.
COB: I'm sorry I wasn't listening. What was that again? I was thinking about myself. No that really helps on the show. The first season I had trouble with the interviews and a friend of mine said I've been watching you, you gotta listen, because you're very bright and you're good when you listen. So I slowed down and instead of always trying to make a joke, listen to what the other person's saying and respond to it and if you're funny the joke will come somewhere naturally. And if not, you can add a laugh track later on. Just put a laugh track on the whole thing, a whole audience from the 1950's just laughing uproariously.
CAT: How have fame and money changes your life?
COB: I clearly don't have enough of either. I have fame, but I have a modest amount of fame. I mean, I'm not a superstar in America. I'm not even sure I'd wanna be, that just seems to lean to all kinds of other problems.
CAT: When you started out on Late Night, you were following in the footsteps of David Letterman and you were subjected to quite a lot of criticism.
COB: It was a hate-fest in America. Let me tell you something, the first year on the air, the reviews I got. People were saying things like why can't this guy just die? That was a good review. My father wrote that review, for the local paper. It was very rough the first year.
CAT: Did you ever think of quitting?
COB: No. I was drunk the whole time. I decided I'm just gonna drink my way through this year and I don't remember most of it.
CAT: How do you think you turned it around?
COB: I don't know to be honest. The first thing that was important, there's a tendency, when you do one of these shows and you're new, and people are critical, to second guess yourself and to start panicking. Ok they don't like this, well we'll try this, then I'll try this and the next thing you know you're trying to please your audience. You're chasing your audience, and what happens when you chase something is that it tends to run away and you never catch it.
CAT: So all of a sudden it just happened...
COB: Yeah, what we did was just stuck to our guns and kept doing the comedy that we liked to do. Gradually, it didn't happen overnight, we started to notice that young people were watching the show, that they really enjoyed it and critics were saying nice things. The same ones that said why can't you just die, were now saying this is our favorite show in Late Night. it was a very strange phenomenon. I don't know what happened, I think someone must have bribed somebody.
CAT: The world loves a sound bite. In one sound bite, how would you describe your brand of humor?
COB: Immature and unprofessional.
CAT: Obviously there's a lot of spontaneous comedy on your show, but people wonder whether a lot of it is rehearsed.
COB: No it's very, I was joking earlier when I said it was unprofessional. There is something good about a show having rough edges and having that human element in it. I haven't been doing the show that long, and sometimes it shows and I think in a good way, because I pretty much have to feel that way about it. But, I mean we don't know exactly what's going to happen. The funniest things just happen naturally. I mean, you can't you know. We had Fran Dresher on the programme once recently….
CAT: From The Nanny?
COB: Yeah, she's from The Nanny and we're having a really good interview, and it's funny and at one point I start laughing and I put my feet up and my chair flips over backwards. It sounds moronic and it is, but it was just this big funny moment, and I climb up from under the desk and my hair's all a mess and she starts petting my head as I'm going Grrrrrrrr. I don't even know what the hell was happening, it was just a very odd moment, very funny and real…
CAT: Coz it's very much, your show is about visual comedy…
COB: We do a lot of visual comedy, because we assume that most of our viewers can't read. We've chosen to go very visual. We put lips on the President, or important figures. We play strange games; we act out sketches and…
CAT: You like to get physical on the show?
COB: Yes. Very physical. (laughs) Hi I'm a creep! We like to, um…
CAT: We've established that!
COB: Thank you. That was in, you mentioned that up top. Our next guest is a creep. I'm a big believer that comedy, that people shouldn't be snobs about comedy. That something that's funny to a four year old can also be funny to someone who's fifty years old and things that are funny just have an inherent comedy to them, you can't judge it, it just makes you laugh. Don't think about it.
CAT: You mentioned president Clinton and the lip sequences, I also know that Clinton is one of your greatest fans.
COB: Well, I don't know if he's still our greatest fan, we've continued to hammer away at him since he… He sent me a fan letter a couple of years ago. He said that he really enjoyed the programme, said that it was his favorite late night show, he never misses it. We thought, I can't believe that and he said it was very innovative and congratulated us and then subsequently he invited me to the Whitehouse to a gathering of prominent Irish Americans. Which meant nine of us were up at the Whitehouse throwing potatoes at each other in the east wing. We had a good time and subsequently I performed for him at the Whitehouse Correspondents Dinner and that seemed to go very well. I don't think I'm a good friend of his…
CAT: So that you could call him and say the ratings went down?
COB: Yeah and he'd say, 'Conan who?' He's a politician so if things start to get dodgy for me, he's gone. I think we've established that. I think he's aware of who I am, but we're not good pals.
CAT: You live in New York and I gather you share your apartment block with some supermodels?
COB: I'm one of the glamour. One of the glamouratti. Yes, some supermodels live in my building and I've never met them which is very frustrating to me.
CAT: They don't keep the same hours as you probably.
COB: No, they do. They just have no interest in seeing me in the hallway, because like I say, I'm not Mr. Cool and so um…
CAT: Isn't there a good chance you could go up to someone and say 'hey would you like to come on my show?'
COB: Yeah and after I wipe the mace out of my eyes, I continue the conversation. I haven't seen any if them in the building, I don't know why. I think they see me coming and they do that quick turn back into their apartment.
CAT: You get a lot of celebrities obviously on your show are some of them worried that they might be out funnied by you?
COB: My philosophy is, I try to make the guests look good. I don't like to have… I don't like to be funny at the expense of the guest, I like to have a good time with the guest and I like for the two of us to create some funny moments. That's my philosophy on what an interview should be and that's my style. So I think one of the reasons we get better and better guests is that Sting came on the programme and had a good time. He mentioned us to Elton John while they were out racing their giant yacht, you know, in a circle round the rain forest. That he should do our show, and Elton John then does it and Paul McCartney hears that Elton John did it, and they tell two friends.
COB: Oh yeah, as you all know, we get all the stars. It's tough, it's so pathetic getting talent for these shows. It's difficult to get anybody to come in. And there are days, we'll have a week when all the biggest stars in the world will come on and you'll think we've got it made, we've licked this problem. And then the next week it's all local weathermen. You can't get anybody.
CAT: Great variety.
COB: Yeah.
CAT: Music's a very important part of your show you seem to have a knack for breaking new bands.
COB: We've had some great, we've had Sheryl Crow on the programme before anybody knew who she was. Greenday came on our programme when they were complete unknowns. And Everclear, we've had a bunch of groups that have been with us. Jamiroquai, came on the show and at the time they were completely unknown in America, they'd had success in England, but not in America.
CAT: Do they all write you thank you letters?
COB: No they don't as a matter of fact. Occasionally they send fruit baskets. I'm not kidding, Garth Brooks sends a nice fruit basket, he really does.
CAT: Are you a healthy sort of guy?
COB: No. I'm the unhealthiest person you'll ever meet. I eat way too much meat. Way too much cholesterol and I'll probably have a heart attack five minutes after this interview is over. So I hope there's a defibrillator here. I need one.
CAT: What are the luxuries you afford yourself in life?
COB: Hair care products. I like to just luxuriate. I love to put very expensive creams and emollients in my hair.
CAT: Is that because you're afraid it might fall out or…
COB: No, I'm just hair obsessed. I've spent this whole interview looking at your hair. Very good hair by the way. I'm obsessed with hair. My own hair, I'm always styling it, in the mirror in the morning, making crazy shapes. It's like I build a wedding cake every morning and then it falls apart during the day.
CAT: Other than that, you're very keen on guitars.
COB: I love guitars. I love Gretsch guitars and classic rockabilly guitars. I just got a 50 Telecaster for the first time and so I love having them and I love trying to learn to play them. I'm a frustrated player. I don't think I have a handful of talent, but I try.
CAT: You pick up a few tips from some of the guests on your show.
COB: Yeah. Yes I do, I bore them to tears. I made Sting show me base line. He's like 'I've really got to go,' 'No come on, show me how!' And we have a great guitarist on our show. Jimmy Vivino.
CAT: You have a great band as well.
COB: Terrific band and the guitarist often shows me little tricks.
CAT: Now on the show, you have Andy, who's your sidekick. Why do you need one?
COB: Yeah Andy. Andy adds a whole depth to the show that we wouldn't have otherwise. I think no matter how successful one single host can be, you get tired of hearing one voice. You just do, and it's nice to hear another voice on the show.
CAT: Do you get along off camera?
COB: No I hate the guy. He's a terrible person. He doesn't bathe, he has no hygiene. Terrible gambling problem. Wish we could get rid of him, but it's contractual now. No, our relationship, what you see on the air is what it is. We don't, we're not sort of E! we're not Entertainment Tonight, I don't know if you know that programme, but that kind of, 'Hey there Andy, how are ya!' 'I'm doing fine Conan. And speaking of fine, have you seen the movie She's So Fine?' 'I have and it's a winner! We'll be back after this.' We're just people that don't like that kind of television. People speaking in fake voices and looking into the camera and arching their eyebrows, and saying things they don't really mean and smiling. That's just abhorrent to us. So we have a very real relationship on the air and if I say something and he disagrees with me. He disagrees. And if I say something really unfunny, which happens occasionally, he doesn't laugh. His job is not to sit there and laugh. It's to be a real person so I think that's why it works.
CAT: I wonder whether women's attitudes towards you has changed now that you're famous?
COB: Yeah, they look at me now, in the eye. It's really a refreshing change. They used to just look away a lot and say, 'I can't I have to wash my hair that night.' But now they look me in the eye and tell me, 'I can't I have to wash my hair that night.' It's changed, it makes you more confident, you have a TV show and it's already established that you have a good sense of humor.
CAT: It's one of the most attractive things about a man or a woman is if they've got a sense of humor.
COB: That's what I say, not physical beauty. Please don't let it be physical beauty. Let it be a sense of humor. I have found that I, when I used to go out with women and was trying to get a woman's attention it would be by showing that I have a sense of humor. What's nice now is that if they know me or know the show at all and like the show, I'm starting ahead of the game a little bit.
CAT: You're very successful now, but television is a fickle world, if it all went away, would you be prepared to retire quietly behind the scenes?
COB: No! You get addicted to it. You get addicted to certain aspects of doing a show every night. I love working with a live audience and think that's what I'm supposed to do and I'd like to certainly get better and better at it, but I don't see myself going back behind the scenes. I don't think I'd be happy doing that. So whenever this show ends, even if it means going in front of a smaller audience, I'll probably do that.
CAT: Conan, you're doing a great job. Keep us laughing.
COB: I'll try.
CAT: And join us again on VIP I hope.
COB: I'd love to that would be great.
CAT: Thank you very much.
COB: Thanks for having me.
CAT: Oh shake hands I suppose. Awww!
COB: How about an arm wrestle?
CAT: Join me again on VIP soon when I'll be meeting more stars from around the world…. Bye bye!