Jennifer Hart sighed heavily as she saw Jonathan head out for work. He’d just about managed a kiss goodbye, but as has been happening for the last month, it had been an effort for him. The heavy front door closed as she picked up her favourite photograph of the pair of them. They hadn’t made love in that time either and she’d had enough. A number of times she’d confronted him about it, but to no avail. He just had a forlorn, desperate look in his eyes and said nothing. She had no idea why. As far as she was aware she’d done nothing to hurt him and before this they’d talked about everything together. This wasn’t going to go on any longer, he was going to tell her the problem and this time she wasn’t about to let it drop.
Putting the photograph down she walked through the kitchen and picked up the keys to her car.
"I’ll be back later," she called on her way through.
Max watched as Jennifer climbed into her car. He was really worried about Mr and Mrs H. Over the last month he noticed a change in their relationship, well at least from Jonathan. Before now, there were always touches and looks that passed between them, but lately it was as if Jonathan could hardly bare to be in the same room as either Jennifer or Max. He constantly worked late and weekends were spent moping about. When Max had approached him, he too had got no where. He could see how desperate Jennifer was becoming but was inclined not to talk to her about it, he didn’t feel right asking her too many intimate questions. He hoped they sorted it out soon, this couldn’t go on.
"Hold all calls," said Jonathan as walked into his office and shut the door behind him. He dropped his briefcase by the side of the desk and walked over to the window. Putting his hands on the sill, he dropped his head against the glass. He knew he had to talk to Jennifer, but this was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever had to tell her and she certainly didn’t deserve it. God, what had he done. The same question went around and around in his head as it had done the last month. Why? Jennifer was the only woman he ever wanted from the moment he laid eyes on her, what the hell had possessed him to sleep with someone else. The thought of it made him cringe and he wanted to vomit. It was going to destroy her, hell it was destroying him. He couldn’t look at her without thinking about it. He didn’t know what he’d do if she left him, but who could blame her, he’d totally destroyed the trust and faith their relationship was built on. He knew he had to tell her though, he couldn’t bring himself to touch her since it happened, he was so ashamed.
"Mrs Hart." Jonathans temporary PA Rachel Lewis greeted Jennifer as she walked through the door. "Good Morning. I’m afraid Mr Hart doesn’t wish to be disturbed."
"Is he alone in there?" Jennifer needed to talk, but knew she couldn’t just barge into a business meeting.
"Yes."
"Fine." Jennifer swept past the desk and opened the door.
Jonathan was now seated at his desk with his head in hands staring at the photo of Jennifer he kept on his desk. She’d been the only thing on his mind over this last month. Jennifer closed the door behind her and watched as her husband lifted his eyes at the interruption.
"Jennifer," he said startled.
"We have to talk and we’re going to do it now," she said approaching the desk. Before he’d have been thrilled to see her she thought to herself, but now he just had worried expression.
"Jonathan what’s going on?" Her voice had a sympathetic tone and it tore at Jonathans heart. He swallowed hard and walked around to the front of the desk. He wanted to reach and touch her and tell her everything was going to be okay, but he knew it wasn’t. He knew how he’d feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
Jennifer looked into his eyes and all she could see was pain.
"Is it something I’ve done?"
"Oh god no Jennifer, it isn’t you it’s me. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry." His voice began to crack and his eyes filled with tears.
Seeing and hearing this, Jennifer wanted to reach and comfort him, but something in his expression, in his demeanour told her to hold back. She was relieved it wasn’t her, but what was it.
"You have to tell me, so I can help you."
Jonathan looked at his wife. He straightened himself up and looked her in the eye. "I’ve been unfaithful," he said simply. He saw just sheer hurt and pain looking back at him as her face changed when that last word left his mouth. There were no words to express his sorrow at what he’d just done to the woman who meant more to him than life itself.
Jennifer felt like her heart had been torn from her chest and ripped into millions of pieces. The man she loved and cherished and meant the world to her for these last seven years had just told her something she never imagined possible. She was speechless. Anger mixed with hurt played with her emotions. She raised her right hand and slapped Jonathan across the face, before turning on her heal and heading for the door. She could feel her hands shaking as she turned the handle.
Jonathan watched as she left his office. He was rooted to the spot. He wanted to chase and stop her and try and explain. Explain, that was a laugh, there was no explanation for the hurt and pain he was causing, he was still trying to piece it all together. He knew after the news he’d just delivered she needed to be alone though. He hoped to god she would at least talk to him later.
Jennifer got in her car and drove to the beach. She wasn’t sure why she chose there, she just needed somewhere to be alone and gather her thoughts. What the hell had just happened? It had to be some sort of sick joke. No, Jonathan would never play that sort of trick on her. She’d seen it in his eyes too, he wasn’t lying. She sat down on the sand and looked out on to the ocean, memories of the many happy times she’d spent with Jonathan here came flooding into her mind. She loved that man with her heart and soul, never before she met him could she have imagined you could have such strong feelings for one person. She felt like her heart was burning now, an endless pain, and she wondered if could ever be alleviated. Why had he done it? They had a truly happy marriage, one people dreamed about and admired. There was no excuse, but she had to know why.
"Mr H. I wasn’t expecting you yet," said Max as Jonathan walked through the door. Jonathan looked rough, but Max wasn’t about to tell him. He could see something was wrong though.
"Is Jennifer here?"
"No, she went out after you this morning, and I haven’t seen her since."
"Oh," whispered Jonathan approaching the bar and pouring himself a large scotch.
"Mr H.." started Max.
Jonathan just looked at him and Max stopped.
"Not now," Jonathan said quietly as he sat down.
"If you want to talk, you know where I am," said Max. He left Jonathan staring into his drink and headed to the kitchen.
An hour later Jonathan heard a car pull up outside and a car door slam shut. He stood and started to walk towards the door as it opened and Jennifer walked through. She stopped when she saw him.
"We have to talk," she said quietly.
"I know." He waited for her to take the lead.
"Not now though." Jennifer was still mulling the confession over.
"Jennifer." Jonathan started. Jennifer lifted her eyes to look at him. He hated what he saw there. "I’m so sorry."
"It’s a bit late for that." She shot back at him. Jennifer headed up the stairs leaving Jonathan standing there watching her. God he would never forgive himself for the hurt he’d caused her.
Jennifer closed the bedroom door behind her and leaned back against it sighing heavily. They needed to talk but she wanted to be calm when she did and she thought anger might take over tonight. She looked over at the marital bed and the tears she’d managed to hold off until now began to roll down her cheeks. There was no stopping them. Her legs weakened and she leaned back against the door as she slumped to the floor. Uncontrollable sobs wracked her body as the build up of emotion was released.
Jonathan heard the crying and ran up the stairs. He could hear the sobs through the other side of their bedroom door and his heart broke. He fell to his knees as he knew there was nothing he could do or say that would take back what had happened.
Rachel Lewis walked into her apartment block later that evening to be greeted by her sister.
"I think it’s working," she said, a sly grin spreading across her face.
Her sister Sally sat up straight, putting down the magazine she’d been reading.
"Really. How do you know?"
"I told you Jonathan had obviously been finding it hard to concentrate in work since I started this little experiment, well today his wife turned up."
"And?"
"Put it this way. From the expression on her face when she stormed out of the office, she was a lady taking no prisoners."
The same sly grin spread across Sally’s face.
"When should we start on the blackmail?"
"Soon. I need to see how he is over the next couple of days. It would appear he believes he’s slept with you though."
Jonathan slept in one of the spare rooms that night, well what sleep he could get. He missed having Jennifer next to him, but the last month hadn’t been the same anyway. He was so ashamed he couldn’t bring himself to touch her. He felt dirty.
Jennifer had a restless nights sleep. Even though Jonathan hadn’t touched her lately, she missed the comfort of having his warm body next to her and his soft snoring lulling her to sleep.
Max laid out breakfast the following morning, but wasn’t sure what to expect. He’d heard the crying last night and had not seen either of the Harts since he’d left Jonathan in the sitting room last night. He didn’t know what to do. He'd never seen them like this before and he prayed they would manage to sort out whatever the problems were.
Jennifer came in first. The redness around her eyes and the sadness that was clearly visible was in stark contrast to her usual morning glow.
"Morning Max," she just about managed to utter before pouring herself a coffee.
Max approached her and put a comforting arm around her.
"If there’s anything I can do." He had no idea what the problems were, but Jennifer and Jonathan were like children to him and he hated seeing the turmoil they were going through.
Jennifer filled up and threw her arms around him. She wanted to be held and for someone to tell her everything was going to be all right.
"Oh Max," she sobbed into his shoulder.
"Hey Mrs H," he said wrapping his arms around her. He’d never seen her like this before. For her to be holding on to him so tightly when Jonathan was not in danger and was still in the house, he knew this was serious.
Jonathan walked in just as Jennifer was releasing Max. He too had red eyes. Jennifer turned to look at him, but said nothing.
"Morning Max, Jennifer," he whispered as he approached.
"Mr H" responded Max. Jennifer said nothing, her eyes showing despair at the situation. She wiped her eyes and went to sit at the table. Jonathan poured a coffee and went to join her. Max took this as his cue to leave.
They sat in silence for a number of minutes. God Jonathan despised himself. He couldn’t even remember a lot about it. He remembered the girls name, and that they’d gone to a hotel room but as for the physical act, in his subconscious he’d had sex with. He couldn’t call it making love as that would be comparing it to Jennifer. He looked up to see Jennifer watching him. Despite what he’d done, she still loved him with all her heart. She couldn’t just turn off the feelings she had for him.
"How many times?"
"What?"
"How many times did you sleep with her?"
"Jennifer." His voice pleaded. He didn’t want all the gory details spilled out for her sake. "Just the once," he whispered.
"Do I know her?"
"No."
"Oh, god Jonathan, was she a prostitute?"
"No, I didn’t pay for it if that’s what you mean."
"Aren’t I woman enough for you?" It was a question that had been playing on her mind all night. They made love constantly, and it wasn’t one sided. It wasn’t as if he needed to go elsewhere to get female company.
"Oh Jennifer," he looked pleadingly at her. "You’ve always been more than enough for me. You’re my life, without you I’m nothing. Since the day we met I’ve never so much as looked at another woman. I had a moment of madness, one I’ll regret for the rest of my life." He reached out to her. "I’ll never forget what I’ve done to you." His eyes filled with tears. "Please don’t leave me. I can’t live without you." That was the one thing that had kept him awake all night. He couldn’t bear to think about a life without her by his side.
"I’ve done a lot of thinking and I’m not done yet." She said strongly. "I love you Jonathan, but your act has ripped a hole in my heart and I don’t know if it can ever be repaired. We’ve put a lot into this relationship and I’m not prepared to just throw that away. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to trust you again though and that hurts. I’m not leaving you, but I am going to stay with my father for a while to try and sort my feelings out. We’ll just have to see when I come back."
"Jennifer I can’t begin to express how sorry I am and what this has done to us. I just hope you can forgive me enough to try again. I know I’ve let you down, I’ve let us both down and I swear it will never happen again. Take the Hart jet to Maryland and please," he looked at her with despair in his eyes, "come home to me."
"I’ll let Max take me to the airport. I’ve already packed and let my father know to expect me."
"Can I call you?" he whispered.
Jennifer looked at him. He struck her as looking like a little boy lost. She shook her head as both sets of eyes filled with tears once again.
"I’d rather you didn’t. I need some time alone."
Jonathan nodded. "Then please call me if you want to talk, any time night or day."
Jonathan watched as the Bentley drove away from the front door. There was no backward glance from Jennifer. He stared until it was no longer in sight and walked back into the house. Running his fingers through his hair, he picked up the phone and called the office.
"Mr Harts Office." Came the response at the other end.
"Rachel, It’s Jonathan. I won’t be in today, can you cancel all my appointments please."
"Sure Mr Hart. Is everything alright?"
The question was met with silence.
"Mr Hart?"
Rachel heard the catch in the voice as Jonathan tried to respond. No everything wasn’t all right, Jonathans world was crumbling about him, and there wasn’t a single thing he could do about it.
"I’ll be in tomorrow," he said bluntly and hung up the phone. Tears got the better of him once again as he walked over to the living area and saw the multitude of photographs adorning the room. Everywhere he looked there were pictures of a happy couple, hugging, holding hands, kissing, in love. He picked one up, and wondered if Jennifer would ever look at him the way she was in that picture again. He looked up and caught sight of himself in the mirror. God he looked terrible and here he was feeling sorry for himself. What an ass. He was the one in the wrong, he was the one that had done the damage. Feeling sorry for himself wouldn’t help get her back, he had to pull himself together.
He heard Max coming back about an hour later, and opened the door to him.
"How was she Max?"
"Not good. What the hell’s going on with you two?"
Obviously Jennifer had decided to keep his sordid secret to herself. In a way he wanted to tell Max, to have someone to unburden himself to. He knew though Max would be just as disgusted with him as he was with himself. He adored Jennifer as much as Jonathan did and knew the news would cut him up too. Whilst they’d been together a long time, through ups and downs, Max would give him hell for this. If Jennifer had opted not to tell him, then he wouldn’t either.
"We’re having a few problems Max."
"Tell me something I don’t know."
"I’m sorry you have to witness it all."
"Mr H, you and I have been through a lot together and I’m sure we still have a long way to go. But you and Mrs H, you were made for each other. You fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw, you make each other complete. I don’t know if I really want to know what’s happened, but I do know if you don’t sort it, you’ll end up regretting it. I can see you’re both hurting, and I hope you get through this."
Max had said his piece and left it at that. He hoped with all his heart they’d take on board his comments. He’d said something similar to Jennifer before she boarded the plane.
"I do too Max, I do too," said Jonathan quietly.
