Email: CreativeGirl@rocketmail.com
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. Don't sue....okay?
Author's Notes: Sorry this is so late to all that read this series. I've just needed a break from everything lately, including writing, but now I'm back and happy to be. If you haven't read the other stories in this series, ya won't get this.
Thank You: Thank you to all these lovely people that email me saying they like this series. Without you guys, I would have no spark or inspiration.
Detication: To My Nana. September, 1912 to June, 1998. I love you always.
Rating: PG-13 this time for some bad language. But may I remind everyone that it's nothing real teenagers don't say, and it's MUCH MORE toned down!
************
Jen was awakened by the sound of a car pulling into her grandmother's driveway. It was seven thirty, on a Saturday....Who the hell would be- Then she remembered....
Her eyes opened wide and she jumped out of bed. Her blonde hair was in her eyes as she stumbled around her bedroom to hit the light switch...Then she remebered something else. Pacey. He was still asleep in her bed, he looked so childlike lying there, that it took her breath away for a moment. But she had to ignore all of this and get Pacey out of her room as quickly as possible.
She leaned down to whisper in his ear, " Pacey, Pacey. You have to wake up.....Pacey?"
Pacey stirred and then he opened his hazel eyes. He smiled when he saw Jen standing over him. " Hi, " he said grogily.
Jen smiled , "Hi, you have to leave ...NOW."
Pacey moved slowly while getting out of bed, " Well, good morning to you ,too."
" I'm sorry," she whispered," But if you don't get out of here , my ass is grass....and I mean that in the most literal way possible."
"Alright, alright," Pacey started, " Just one question."
" Yeah?"
" Exactly how do I get out of here?"
Jen sighed and rubbed her temples, " Oh, shit....um...listen...here's the plan."
*********
Jen walked out the front door as cassually as possible. Her grandmother was standing in the driveway greeting the visitors that had just arrived.
Grams smiled when she saw Jen. Jen returned it briefly, but glaced around back , quickly to make sure Pacey was out the backdoor and making a break towards Dawson's. There he was , just as planned.
Jen turned her attention back to the people getting out of the car in the driveway. Grams had already greeted them, embracing them warmly.
Jen walked towards them. One was a woman in her 30's and another was a teenage girl about Jen's age.
Jen gave them a half smile, " Hi, Mom. Hi, Sis."
*********
She hated working at the Ice House. It was one of the worst jobs in t he entire world. Waiting tables for people she didn't like, cleaning things that were too gross to describe. Joey really did hate it here. She hated Capeside. She hated all the terrible memories it held for her. But she couldn't leave.... She had had the chance. She haden't taken it though.
It was around noon, the busiest part of the day, and Joey was waiting on an older couple who just couldn't decide between the grilled salmon and the roasted chicken breast. Joey wasn't paying much attention to them though. The whole day so far seemed strange to her. She did her work mechanically, by memory. She didn't think about what she was doing , becasue she was thinking about so many other things.
She hated this. She hated knowing that her highest form of education would most likely be Capeside Community College. She hated here. So why did she stay? Why was she still here? She could have gone to France. Start over. Be the person she wanted to be. Why didn't she? She told herself that she had responsibilities here, that her sister needed her help.......But she now wondered if she had been lying to herself.
She stayed because she was in love with the boy up the creek. And finally, after all this time, he loved her back. She thought that it was a perfectly good reason to stay. Stay with the people that love you....that need you. It was a good reason....wasn't it? But something in her kept telling her that she had missed something. Something wasn't right. She loved Dawson. She knew that. But Joey had never been one of those girls who was willing to give up everything for a guy, or atleast she thought she wasn't. Joey was no Juliet. Suicide seemed like a step too far over the line to Joey.
* So,* she thought to herself, * Am I really that mushy on the inside? Did I pass up the opportunity of a lifetime to be with someone I love? Will I regret this descision my whole life.*
A voice pulled Joey from her reverie. " Miss," said the old lady she was serving, " We've decided on the salmon."
Joey looked confused for a moment, then the old woman's words sunk in. " Salmon," Joey said " Got it. ......Anything else?"
" Um....yes. We would both like another iced tea, please."
" No problem. Be right back."
Joey walked over to get the elderly couple's drinks. She felt strange. * Too much thinking does a body bad,* she thought to herself.
She tried to put everything out of her mond after she finished pouring the couple's drinks, but suddenly a pair of hands grabbed her from behind.
She gasped, frightened, and spilled the iced tea all other the floor.
The hands released their grip on her and she spun around to see who it was.
Dawson. Dawson's eyes were soft. He felt bad about making a mess for Joey, " Joey here, let me help you clean this up."
Joey shrugged her shoulders, " I can get it, thank you. What are you doing here?"
He struggled to find his words, he seemed embaressed, " Well, I came to see you....Can you take a break?"
" Does it look like I'm sitting down with my thumb up my ass," she snapped while wiping the floor. Then she looked at his face, he was hurt. * Shit,* she thought, * This isn't his fault.*
She continued, " Look Dawson, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get bitchy on you, it's just ......" She shook her head and got up off the floor to get more iced tea.
He cocked an eyebrow at her. " It's just what?" he asked.
She sighed, " Nothing, okay. I'm just busy. I'll see you tonight alright?"
Dawson was still upset and confused, but decided to go.
" Alright," he said. Then he gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek and left.
Joey watched him walk away, not knowing what to think or do.
Finally she got the couple's drinks and set them down on their table.
The old woman smiled at Joey, her pale blue eyes sparkling, " If you don't mind me saying, young lady, you've got a good young man there. You two act exactly the way me and my husband, here, did when we were young. You'll be happy with him, just give it time."
Joey gave her a half smile, " You're order should be up soon."
As Joey walked towards the kitchen she thought about what the old woman had said, " Give it time." But how much time?
***********
Susan Lindley was a beautiful woman. She had big brown eyes, a figure any woman over thirty would kill for, and a head full of shinny, blonde hair. Jen looked alot like her mother. Same eyes, same hair, same figure. They could almost be twins. But Megan Lindely, Jen's siter, looked nothing like her mother or sister. Megan had light brown hair, big blue eyes, and her body was less well proportioned. She was tall, unlike her mother and sister. She was a year younger than Jenifer, which could have made them close, but that didn't happen.
The sisters had always fought. They had never gotten along. So when Jen moved to Capside, Megan looked at it as a blessing. But in reality it had been a curse. Jen had always been favored, since day one. Jen was prettier, she was funnier, she was everything her mother wanted in a child. Their mother had put all her hopes and dreams she had had for herself as a child into Jen, and then had watched them smashed when Jen rebelled. Jen was also her father's little girl. The apple of his eye. That all changed though when Jen started hanging around the "wrong " type of people. Jen and her parents were constantly arguing. Always fighting about one thing or another. And Megan had kind of been thrown into the background. So when Jen went away, Megan got all the attention, right? Wrong.
Megan sat quietly on her grandmother's porch, staring off into the distance. The wind softly whipped at Megan's hair and made the wind chimes to her right tinkle brightly. The funeral for her granmother was tomorrow, Sunday. Megan had loved him very much, but like almost everyone else, he had favored Jen. He had never told her so, she just knew it by the way he looked at her.By the way his smile grew a little wider when Jen walked into the room. Megan fingered the golden cross that hung about her neck. The sunlight caught it and made it sparkle. Another thing that her sister and herself did not share was their religious beliefs. Megan believed in God, and she went to church as often as possible. Grams loved her for that. Megan and her granmother had always gotten along well. They just seemed to understand each other. And Grams would listen to her when no one else would.
Megan heard a noise behind her and turned around to see Jen. Jen smiled at her thoughtfully, and Megan gave her sister a half smile back.
" So," Jen started, " What's up?"
Megan shrugged, " Nothing much."
" Why didn't Dad come?"
Megan still stare off into space. " He had to work," she said quickly. But something about the tone in her voice didn't sit right with Jen.
Jen slowly sat down next to her sister. They had never gotten along, but Jen wanted to change that. She wanted them to be close.
" What's the matter, Megan? I mean besides the obvious, what's wrong."
" Why do you care," Megan snapped.
" Because you're my sister," Jen said calmly, " I haven't even talk to Mom yet. She's with Grams making arrangments for tomorrow....but there's something else wrong isn't there?"
" Maybe."
Jen sighed deeply, " Why can't you just tell me what's wrong? Maybe I can help."
Megan turned towards Jen. " YOU can't help, Jen. Because YOU are the cause of the problem."
" What are you talking about?"
Megan ran her hands through her hair in frustration, " God, Jen. You don't see it do you? Do you ever see anything? What's wrong is that Mom and Dad are getting a divorce."
Jen's eyes grew big as she looked at her sister, " What!? Why....."
" Because of you," Megan said quickly. She smiled weakly, " You know, I thought that with you up here things would be different. I thought Mom and Dad would stop fighting. I thought maybe they'd even pay a little bit of attention to me. But no...of course not. You're all they think about! You're all they care about! I can't do one god damn thing to make them proud of me. I make straight A's, I'm class president, I believe in God....But no...all they can think about is their poor little Bad Girl."
Jen opened her mouth to protest , but Megan cut her off, " Mom wanted you to come home. She fought with Dad over it constantly.......He just yelled at her...and....oh.... She started drinking again you know? Do you know how much that hurt Jen? To see our mother be like that again? To hear Dad call her a no good drunk? God..... Do you know how much that hurt?" Megan stood up from where she had been sitting and then continued. Well it hurts even worse when you're in the middle of their fighting. They never told you any of this....no....Why give poor Jenifer something more to worry about? So Dad finally kicked her out.He wanted me to stay....but I couldn't do that to Mom...not after everything that's happened. And now we're going to be staying here....with you and Grandma......This is all your fault! Everything! Jesus....I hate you...."
Jen had tears in her eyes. She haden't known that things had gotten so bad..She didn't know her Mom, a recovering alcoholic had been drinking again..Was it really because of her? How could she still be hurting her family so much? She thought that going away would make things better for them and her....But now Jen just felt as if she had screwed up all over again.
She wanted to cry, but wouldn't give Megan the satisfaction. She stood up and looked Megan straight in the face.
" Is that all you have to say, Megan?"
Megan shook her head, " No. I have one question."
Jen shrugged, " And what's that?"
" How many guys have you fucked here?"
Jen boiled over with anger and before she knew what she was doing her hand came around and slapped Megan in the face....hard. Megan touched her cheek carefully.Jen could see her own handprint on her sister's face.
Jen looked at Megan unflichingly, " Look Megan, I am sorry that things are bad right now.....But you cannot blame everything in your fucking life on me! I have changed. I'm sorry that you can't see that. I'm sorry that you hate me, but I'm not going to sit here and take any crap from you. This is my home now and yours.....so let's try to get along. Mom doesn't need anymore shit from us."
Megan walked towards the door. " Like hell I will, " she mumbled under her breath. Finally when Jen was sure she was gone, she cried.
**********
She looked up the ladder.She knew it well, it was kind of like an old friend's face. Every step was etched onto her brain permenently. She wondered how many times she had climbed that ladder? She wondered how many times he had smiled at her when she came through his window? She didn't know. But she did know that these memories, no matter how insignifigant they were, were special to her. She stood there, thinking, her chesmut hair in her eyes.
Then....." Hey, Jo." The voice came from above her. She lifted her brown eyes to the window, where she saw him. He was smiling, that wide grin that made him somehow more irresistable. She smiled back and started climbing up the ladder.
At the top he took her hand, like an old fashioned gentleman, and helped her inside...even though he wasn't sure if she'd except his help or knock him up side the he. Luckily, for Dawson, she excepted.
" Hi," Dawson said, never taking his eyes off of her.
" Hi," Joey replied giving him a smile. Then she sat down on his bed and was joined by him seconds later.
" Jo....what's wrong?"
Joey sighed, " I don't know......I-"
" Are you regretting staying here , Jo? With me?"
Joey's eyes grew wide in their sockets, " But how did you-"
" Because it was the thing I was afraid of the most.......that you ...didn't what to stay, not really."
Joey looked at him sadly, " But I do! I weant to stay here...with you. But a part of me wishes I were off in France...I'm sorry. But I can't help wondering."
This time, he sighed deeply, and looked into her eyes. He looked st her so intently that she felt as if he were almost inside her head, hearing her every thought.
Finally he said something, " I don't want you to go. I won't lie to you. I love you , Jo. But I don't want you to hate me for not going. I want you to do what you feel in your heart is the right decision."
" But what if my heart's confused?"
" I can't tell you what to do, Jo. I'm biased." He smiled, " But whatever you decide to do, I'm with you."
She smiled.
" Unless, of course," he started again, " You decision is to run off with some French guy who worships Jerry Lewis...Then you'll have to find someone else to back you up."
" Thanks," she said sarcastically. Then she kissed him lightly on the lips. " You make me happy, Dawson. I mean you can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, but basically you make me happy."
He looked at her siltenly, his heart filled with joy.
She squeezed his hand quickly then got up to leave.
He grabbed her hand quickly, forcing her to look at him. " Stay," he said simply.
" That's what I'm going home to decide, Dawson."
She let go of his hand and then slipped out of the window, leaving Dawson to his own thoughts.
***********
" Hello?" Pacey called as he walked into his parents lovely cape cod style home.
It was late in the afternoon. Pacey had been in the treehouse for most of the day, just sitting and thinking. He thought about Jen, and the new level their friendship had risen to. He thought about Dawson and Joey, too. But not for long. He wasn't sure if he still had feelings for Joey.........he wasn't sure if had feelings for Jen......For the first time, Pacey could understand why Dawson had been so torn between these two young women.
Pacey figured his Dad would be in the kitchen, waiting to ask him where the hell he had been all night, why he haden't been in school yesterday, and why he put his parents through this. Pacey was ready to field all of these questions, as usual. But he was not ready for what he saw when he walked into the kitchen.
His mother was sitting in the chair with the phone in her hand crying.
Pacey dropped his bag and ran to his mother. " Mom! Mom...what's wrong? Mom?"
Pacey's mother looked up at him. Her eyes were blood shot, her face pale.
After a few moments she stopped sobbing enough to tell him what was wrong.
" Paacey........I-I just got a call. Your father- he's- he's been shot. He's in critical condition."
Pacey hugged his mother tightly for a few moments, then looked her in the eye. " Come on. Let's get to the hospital."
Then Pacey helped his mother out the backdoor.