The busy chatter of Capeside High filled the halls Pacey rummaged through his
locker. He stared at the books and for the life of him, couldn't remember
exactly what class came first in his schedule. Oh, the hell with it! He
never brought his book anyway, why start now? He slammed his locker shut, and
turned to find Dawson just arriving with Joey.
"Hey Pacey," they both greeted him as they stopped at Dawson's locker. Pacey
answered with a nod in their direction but hung around while Dawson gathered
the books he needed for today.
"I can't believe you think that," Dawson angrily carried on. "You've got to
be kidding me. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. What does
he have that's so special?"
Pacey wondered what could be the subject of such a heated debate. What had
happened last night to cause this? Seeing how stubborn the both of his
friends were, he wasn't surprised.
"He's only smart, good looking, and handsome," Joey retorded just as
passionate in this tirade. "Not to mention, he's got super strength, speed,
and the ability to fly. You lose, Dawson. The population agrees: Superman is
just a better superhero than Batman." "That is just a load of-"
"Dawson! Pacey! Have you gotten this yet?" Abigail ran up to the two and
handed them both fliers. "It's a fundraiser for the cheerleading team. Sign
up!" As Abby rushed away eager to spread the word, Joey read the flier over
Dawson's shoulder, "A charity date auction??! Now there's the load of..." She
laughed. "With the guys on this campus? You wouldn't be able to raise five
cents." Dawson threw his flier into the wastebasket, "I'm not going to humiliate
myself parading myself on stage while females determine my self worth like
they would a piece of meat at the butcher. No thanks."
On the other hand, Pacey lingered on reading the flier. "I don't know,
Dawson. Hey, this meat..." he pointed toward himself, "'It's what's for
dinner' if you know what I mean. It might be fun. "
"You, Pacey?!" Joey asked amused.
"Hey, if I could compete for Miss Windjammer, I can do this. I almost won
that thing, you know. Who wouldn't want to go on a date with some one as
charming and witty as me?"
With his words, Joey and Dawson just looked at each other humor exchanged in
both their eyes. They walked away together not saying one word to Pacey.
"C'mon guys!" Pacey yelled after them as they walked on. "Guys??"*****
"I think it's a great idea," Jen said over lunch. The buzz of the auction
had reached everyone by now, and it had become the hottest topic throughout
school. "It puts the shoe on the other foot. Now you guys will know what it
feels like to be seen on a purely superficial basis."
"Yeah, guys," Joey said still surprised that she actually agreed with Jen.
Things had gotten better between them as the weeks went by. Joey had
discovered that she wasn't the bad guy she thought she was. "It'll make my
night more entertaining."
"Who would you bid for, Joey?" Jen teased her glance grazing around the
cafeteria. "Hmm... not much of a selection if you ask me."
"I know what you mean," she whispered in Joey's direction just loud enough
for the two guys to hear, and looked directly at Pacey and Dawson. The girls
laughed. "What was that?" Dawson asked self consciously.
"What?" Jen's innocent act playing a star role. "What was what?"
"You looked at us!"
"What? I look at you all the time Dawson. See? Look," Her eyes met his
jokingly.
"No, you said, 'I know what you mean,'" Pacey joined in reenacting her line
in the best female impression he could pull off. "And then you looked at us."
"You guys really need a hobby," Joey said getting up to go with Jen trailing
right behind her. The girls gone, Dawson and Pacey sat at the table in silence.
"Did you see they looked at us?" Dawson asked in need of reassurance.
"Oh, yeah absolutely man, it was a definite look."*****
"So what do you think I should wear, Dawson?" Pacey asked as they walked
through the mall waiting for Joey and Jen to arrive so that they could watch a
movie.
"Hey, let's go in there," Dawson said seeing an evening wear boutique just
around the corner.
A few minutes later, Pacey emerged from the fitting room in a sleek black tux
feeling a little uncomfortable in the suit. "What do you think?"
"It looks... good," he answered. What else do you say about clothes?
"I don't like this color. Miss?" Pacey beckoned for the sales clerk as he
fiddled with the tie around his neck. "Can I get a deeper shade of blue for
my tie?" "Of course, sir," the woman walked into the storeroom to retrieve her
client's tie.
"Geez," Pacey turned around and looked at himself in the mirror scrutinizing
his rear's every detail. "I look fat. Dawson, does this make me look fat?"
A giggle burst out from the entrance of the store. Both turned to see Joey
practically on the floor with laughter.
Joey gasping for breath was able to speak once again trying to hold it in,
"I'm sorry, guys." She started once again in an uncontrollable spasm of
laughter. "Does this make me look fat?" Joey imitated still on the floor.
"Can I get a deeper shade of blue? You guys, you seriously... you crack meup."
"I don't find this amusing," Pacey said, his bowtie and jacket off. "Do you
find this amusing, Dawson?"
Dawson thought a minute, "Well, the way Joey puts it..." Dawson's laugh
joined Joey's. "When did you have that dose of estrogen, Pacey?"
"Funny, real funny..."*****
Pacey and Joey sat in the Bio lab after school finishing some research on
their snail lab. "Well, tonight's the night, Pacey," Joey said as she
examined one of the slimy creatures. "Are you ready?"
"As always," Pacey responded filling himself with confidence. "Are you going
to be there?"
"Me? Miss this? No way," Joey smiled. "I will never forgive myself if I
don't see you up there selling your soul. That and I want to see that deep
shade of blue you were longing for."
"Hey," Pacey retorted trying to rescue his wounded ego. "That tie might be
the difference between $50 and 100."
She laughed, "Pacey, you wouldn't be able to raise a dollar. Get over it."
"Oh yeah," he challenged. "How much do you want to bet?"*****
Jen entered the kitchen dressed to go for the night while Grams stood at the
counter chopping vegetables for dinner that night. Jen walked to her
grandmother's side, "Oh, Grams, I'm going out tonight, so you'll only have to
make dinner for one." "Oh?" Grams asked. "Where are you off to?"
"There's a charity auction at school tonight," Jen said nonchalantly.
"Well, that sounds nice. What's on the block today?"
"Men,"Jen said just to stir her grandma up a little. "They're selling dates
with men." Jen walked out while Grams was left frozen at the counter.*****
Just about ready, Joey stopped at her dresser before heading out her door. A
pile of money sat there from the tips she earned yesterday. It was a
particularly busy day, and she'd easily made a good fifty bucks. She
impulsively grabbed the money, "Just in case," she thought mischevously and
ran out before she was late.*****
"Wow, they went all out for this," The group of three entered.
"Yeah, rah, rah for the cheerleaders," Joey mocked. "They can do the splits
and decorate."
The auction had already started. Most of the "men" being sold for a few
bucks and at the very most twenty. A guy that Joey vaguely recalled from her
math class stepped off the stage. The emcee got on the mic once again. "And
now, we have..." she stated reading the card again, "Pacey Whitter."
Pacey stepped into the limelight in his great looking tux holding a single
red rose in his hand and was received by several cat calls including one from
Jen and Dawson as they cheered him on. Joey just laughed at him up there, but
she realized that being up on stage was Pacey's element.
"We'll start the bidding at... shall we say? Five dollars?"
"Five dollars," was heard in the crowd.
Joey sat in her chair, and her mouth dropped open. Someone was bidding on
Pacey? They were paying to go on a date with Pacey? She realized that the
bidding had become very heated, and all the way up to twenty.
"Twenty five... Twenty seven... THIRTY!" came shouts from the audience.
"I have thirty dollars, do I hear thirty five?"
"I bid fifty dollars," Joey clasped her mouth shut with her hands not
believing that those words came out of her mouth. She turned toward Dawson
her hands still covering her mouth, and he just looked at her with a confused
and very surprised expression. "What are you doing?" he asked with his eyes.
"Fifty dollars?" the emcee repeated as in much shock as Joey. "We have fifty
dollars... going once..." The few girls that were fighting for Pacey gave up
not willing to spend that much money on a date. "Going twice..." Joey shook
her head with a hysterical, nervous smile on her face amazed at the irony of
this situation. "Going...going gone." She slammed her gavel down signalling
the end of the bidding, "Pacey, you are now the property of Miss Josephine
Potter."
Joey's mouth was still gaping open in disbelief of what just happened. She
sat still in her chair as Pacey came out from backstage.
"Fifty dollars, Joey?" he asked from behind her. Joey turned around and
shrugged.*****
The next evening, Joey was still amazed at what she had declared the
stupidest thing she'd done in her life. She lay on her bed studying for an
upcoming exam, but her mind couldn't concentrate on the notes that lay before
her.
"Joey!" Bessie called from the living room. A knock sounded on her door and
she turned from her useless notes to see Bessie in her doorway, "Joey, you
have a visitor."
Joey emerged from her room to find Pacey standing on the threshold of her
home. "Pacey? What are you doing here?"
"I came to take you out," Pacey smiled.
"You didn't have to do that," she mumbled.
"No, you paid fifty dollars for this. You need to get your money's worth."
"Pacey, to get my money's worth, I'd have a date with Tom Cruise, not you,"
Joey replied.
"No, no, I insist. Fifty dollars is a lot of money. C'mon," Pacey pushed her
out the door.
"You paid fifty dollars?!" Bessie interrupted originally only passing by to
get to the kitchen but now left standing in anger.
"Uh, we're going now, Bess!" Joey yelled as she hurried out the door trying
to avoid any lectures she might receive from her older sister. She dragged
Pacey out with her, and quickly shut the door.
He gave her a quizical look , but led her down the walk. "If I'd known that
Bessie yelling was the effective approach, I would've started there."
Joey gave him a half-smile, "Well, I can't go back there for a while," she
glanced toward her house. "What do you have planned?"*****
Pacey walked her to a park table. There laid a two plates, two wine
glasses, and a candle.
"What's this, Pacey?" Joey sat down charmed by such a cute setting. He
brought a match and lit the single candle.
"It's dinner," Pacey said as he brought out a box.
Joey glanced at it as he set it down between them. "Pizza? I paid fifty
dollars for pizza?"
"Hey, I sprung for the two-liter," he also revealed a bottle of soda and
poured her a glass as well as one for himself.
A smile was planted on Joey's face. "What? What is it?" Pacey questioned.
"You never cease to amaze me, Pacey..."*****
The credits ran across the screen and the music swelled. Dawson quickly
switched it off. "That was a good movie," Jen said from his desk chair.
"Totally not a movie ending," Dawson replied. "Since when does the guy not
get the girl in the ending. It's what the audience is waiting for, and the
whole purpose of movie making is to play out what might never happen in
reality. You don't watch a movie to be dissappointed and relive your
heartbreak, you watch movies to find your fantasies."
"Well, I don't know," Jen disagreed. "Maybe this is a form of catharsis.
Imagine if you just broke up with your girlfriend only to find that she runs
off with someone else with no rebound time whatsoever. You wouldn't want to
see her again, would you?"
Dawson looked at her realizing the plot line that Jen had just relayed. It
dawned on her who's life she'd just outlined and shifted, "Or we could just
forget about it."
He nodded not saying a word. "Yeah, we'll forget about it," Jen said
uncomfortably, and Dawson pressed the "Eject" button on his remote. *****
Joey sat on the swing. It felt so good to act like a kid again, she thought
happily. Pacey pushed her higher, and she closed her eyes feeling the wind
rush by her face. "Higher, Pacey!" she yelled.
"You know, this isn't as easy as it looks," he said a little breathless.
She laughed at him as she gazed at the stars that blinked above them. She
couldn't remember having so much fun. The dinner was filled with conversation
that was actually relevant to her life. She learned more about what made
Pacey Whitter tick in this one night than the first fifteen years of her life.
He was the epitome of the saying, "Still waters run deep," for as much as he
played on the surface, there was a lot more to him than just the class clown.
"Okay, I've had enough," Pacey collapsed in the sand, and Joey put her feet
down to quickly stop the swing. She sat beside him in the sandbox. Running
her hand through the grains to make different patterns in the moonlight. The
devil in her came out again and picked up a fistful of sand. Scheming through
her plan, she lifted the collar of his shirt and dropped the sand in.
"Oops," she said getting up as Pacey jumped up in surprise. "Sorry!" she
gave him an innocent shrug.
"That's it, girlie," Pacey said running toward her as she darted away. He
caught her though, around the waist, and he twirled her around several times
while Joey laughed.*****
The awkward silence filled Dawson's room once again. Sounds of the clock
ticking and crickets chirping outside was the only sign of life as Dawson lay
on his bed and Jen at his desk.
Jen cleared her throat, "Well, I, um, guess I should go home now. It's
getting late, and Grams is probably waiting up for me."
"Yeah," Dawson replied. "Okay." He got up to walk her to the door. "I'll
see you later, Dawson," Jen said turning from the exit to say goodbye.
"Yeah, definitely," he replied.
Jen reached up and planted a soft kiss on Dawson's cheek. He didn't push her
away though. For in the kiss, he felt something more not a promise of things
to come, not a plea to get him back... It felt somewhat like an apology.
Their eyes met before she opened the door. "Bye," she said softly closing the
door behind her.*****
Pacey and Joey walked up her front steps. Joey was actually dissappointed to
see the night end. They reached her door, she turned to him, "Thank you,
Pacey. I had a really... nice time." He smiled, "You forget." "What?"
"You lost the bet," he laughed. "You still owe me."
"Now wait a minute, we never finished that wager, Pacey." she defended.
With that, he leaned down for a kiss giving her enough time to protest if she
wanted. Surprisingly, Joey didn't do anything. After a few still moments,
Joey returned his kiss and snaked her arms around him. She smiled in
disbelief as she pulled away. She gave a nervous giggle, "What just happened?"
"I..." Pacey took in a deep breath and looked in her dancing eyes, "... have
no idea... Look, Joey. I think you already know that I... well, that I..."
"I- I know," Joey nodded now feeling flattered that he had genuine feelings
for her. "And?" "I don't know, Pacey!" she sighed. "Can I sleep on this?"
He nodded while Joey unlocked her door. Stepping inside, she turned back to
Pacey, "Good night." The door closed.
Pacey walked down the steps a smile remaining firmly affixed to his face.
"PACEY!" Joey called opening her door again. She leaned against the door jam
and looked at him as he quickly turned around. She smiled again, "It was
worth the fifty bucks."
He laughed and nodded his head. His hands stuffed in his pocket, he walked
away.*****
The next morning, Joey awoke and wondered if last night was a dream or not.
She dragged herself out of bed and ran a brush through her hair until it
looked decent. She looked at herself critically in the mirror and wondered
what she should do. Realizing that she'd been a heel by obsessing over
Dawson, she hadn't noticed who had always been there to pick up the pieces of
a shattered heart. Joey knew what she needed to do to be fair to Pacey and to
her. She had to talk to Dawson and tell him everything that happened last
night. She needed to see if she was truly ready to leave her dream with
Dawson behind and commit to Dawson completely as a friend. Throwing on some
clothes and heading out the door, she hurried toward the boat before she could
lose the courage that was rapidly filling her heart.*****
"Hey," Joey said from the window. She saw Dawson at his desk working on a
model for one of his new movies he had thought up.
Looking up for a second, Dawson smiled, "Hey, Joey. How was last night?"
"How did you know?" Joey asked confused.
"Relax, Pacey told me he was going to take you out." "Oh..."
"So? How'd it go?" he prodded on putting down the model to listen to her.
"It went..." she surprised herself with her words. "...well. Really well."
A jealous streak took over Dawson as he listened to her words.
"I mean, well, I just... everything seemed to... well, fit. It felt..." she
searched for a word to describe it. "It felt... right."
"You and Pacey?" he asked partly in disbelief and partly in shock. Joey
nodded. "No, wait a second, what are you saying? That you- you and Pacey..."
Joey nodded timidly. "You don't. Joey, you don't... like..." Dawson spit
out the words. She nodded again even more timidly.
"Like him, like him?" now in a jealous tirade. "Serious, Joey? We're
talking about the same like aren't we?"
"YES, Dawson," Joey said fed up with his interrogation. "What is wrong with
that?!"
"I just think that you and Pacey... you don't..." Dawson sighed. "Joey, you
don't know him the way I do. The way he talks about girls."
Joey shook her head in disbelief.
"I just don't want you to be thrown aside when he gets interested in someone
else."
"Dawson..." Joey said. "I appreciate your concern, but he doesn't act that
way, not with me. He... he makes me happy." This was the hardest thing she'd
had to do in her life, lay her heart out on the table for everyone to see.
Unaware that by now she was already on the brink of tears, Joey took a deep
breath." Dawson, I've lived my life never knowing what it's like to be loved
by another human being. You have to understand... he makes me feel good about
me... about who I am-"
"And I don't?!" Dawson interrupted. Joey's head fell and just that reaction
hurt Dawson more than any words she could have said. "Joey??"
"The time... with Jen," Joey answered.
"Joey, how could I have known? You know I would never have-"
"-I know, Dawson. I know, but it doesn't take the pain away. It's still
there. The fact of the matter is you picked her. I was all right with not
having a boyfriend. Guys would pass me by and I would think 'If only they
really knew me, they'd know I'm not such a bad person'..." She trailed off and
closed her eyes, "Dawson, you know me. You know me better than any guy than
any ONE on this earth, and still you passed me by and fell for a girl you knew
for eight seconds. How do you think it felt? Being in love with you but
having to put my feelings aside to help you with your latest teenage trauma?
God, Dawson." "Joey, I-"
"Let me finish. I need you to know this. I need you to understand where I'm
coming from. I've never felt so inadequate, Dawson. It was clear who you
wanted. You made it clear right from the start what you wanted from me. I'd
agonize, Dawson. ME, agonize! I broke my own heart creating fantasies that I
knew would never come true yet still hoping that maybe one day... I must be
dillusional. I would sit there and watch you with her... It had gotten to the
point where sometimes the hurt was so much that I couldn't be around you.
Dawson, I've never been so lonely."
Dawson took her into his arms, and he held her face in his hands and leaned
his forehead onto hers, "I'm sorry, Joey." "It's not you..."
"But I want you now, Joey-" "It's too late," a tear fell.
"No," Dawson pressed his lips against hers and silenced her protests, and all
Joey wanted to was return the kiss. God, but she had wanted this for so long,
to be held by him.
"It is," Joey pulled away. "The hurt's been done, Dawson. I don't want
this." She shook her head, her mind crystal clear. She stared into his eyes
and felt convinced that finally she'd been cured, "I don't want you, not
like this, not anymore." She turned and walked away.
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