Sixteen Candles
By: Mandy McCarthy


Dawson Leery rolled over in his bed, still half asleep, 
trying to decide if he should try to go back to sleep or 
if he should just wake up and face the reality that was 
his life. After the week he’s been through, nothing 
would have suited him better than if he could stay in bed 
until Monday morning and not have to deal with the pending 
situations dealt to him. There was still that "thing" he 
kept putting off between him and Joey for fear of what 
might happen to their friendship. What if Pacey was right, 
for once, and Joey really did have a thang for him? How 
will it affect their friendship? Will they be able to 
remain friends? Joey, Josephine Potter, his best friend 
for 15 years? How? When did this happen? Why didn’t she 
tell him herself instead of Pacey telling him? Was he the 
one Joey was talking about having feelings for that day 
in detention? There was so many things he had to talk to 
Joey about but how he was going to approach the subject 
with her was another question in itself. 
"Ohhhhhhhh," he said as he put the pillow over his face. 
He hears a noise coming from his window and thinks it’s 
Pacey since Pacey was supposed to stop by after his shift 
at the video store. 
"Pace, is that you? Come on in. I really need to talk to 
you about some stuff." Dawson mumbles through the pillow. 
"Dawson?" a voice asks.
"Joey?" Dawson throws the pillow to the side, sits up and 
looks toward the window. It’s Joey leaning into his room, 
still on the ladder. 
" Are you going to let me come in or do I have stay out 
here all night?"
"Of course, you can come in. You know you can come in 
whenever you want." replied Dawson as he lays back down 
in his bed.
Joey climbs through his window  holding two videos in 
her hand and goes over and sits at Dawson’s desk. "I know, 
but I just figured that you might still be asleep and 
didn’t want to wake you if that was the case."
"What time is it, Joe? How long have I been asleep?" Dawson 
asks his best friend.
"It’s almost 8. You were asleep for over 12 hours. I 
almost thought we’d have to reschedule our movie night 
if you hadn’t woken up soon."
"Movie night. Oh Joey, I totally forgot to get the videos. 
This week was hell for me and it just slipped my mind to 
stop by the video store and see what they had." He sits up 
in his bed and sees the videos Joey brought with her sitting 
on the desk." What? Joe, where did you get those? "
" I ran into Pacey on the way over here when I went to 
return The English Patient at the video store and Pacey 
handed me these as I was leaving the store. He said 
something about maybe these will get Dawson to realize 
he was wrong and to make sure that I, Joey his messager, 
tell you that."
"Wrong about what?" Dawson has a sudden interest in what 
Joey is talking about.
"I don’t know. Pacey kept going on and on about 
some conversation you had last week in the rowboat. 
He said you would know what it was about. What was he 
talking about, Dawson? What happened in that rowboat?" 
Joey look over at Dawson who has a weird expression on 
his face. "Dawson?"
Dawson sinks back on his bed recalling the conversation 
he had with Pacey the night the two of them took Joey home. 
They were talking about Joey kissing him and him blowing 
it off on her drunkenness. Pacey told him that Joey was 
in love with him but of course, thinking that Pacey was 
trying to cause problems, Dawson didn’t believe his friend. 
"Dawson? Dawson Leery? Are you listening to me?" he 
faintly heard Joey calling out.
The next thing he knew, Joey is next to him  sitting on 
his bed poking him in his side trying to get his attention. 
"Wh, What, Joey?" Dawson comes out of his trance that he 
was in and faces her.
"Where’d you go to? One minute you and I are talking, 
then the next, you’re off in La-La Land. If you’re 
thinking about your favorite blond again, stop it. You 
two have been broken up for over 2 weeks now. It’s time 
to get over her and back into the land of reality. You 
don’t think she’s moping around her house thinking about 
you, do you? Anyway, as I was saying before, what was 
Pacey talking about?"
Dawson looks at her, turns away and sits up in his bed 
trying to avoid the question. "Oh you know Pacey, always 
acting and saying stuff that isn’t true or isn’t any big 
deal."
"If it’s no big deal, then tell me what you two talked 
about." 
"It’s really no big deal-me and Pace talked about a lot 
of stuff..my parents, you, Jen.. you know the usual. Let’s 
see the videos that our friend sent over." Dawson gets up 
from the bed and starts to walk over to the desk where 
the videos are sitting. But before he can get to them. 
Joey is on her feet and grabs the videos and holds them 
behind her.
"Joe, come on, I just want to see what they are."
Joey, already knowing what they are refuses to give them 
to him and replies "Nothing you’d  be interested in 
watching. Dawson, let’s just watch tv or something."
"No, I want to see why you’re hiding the videos from me 
first." Dawson grabs Joey and they both fall onto 
the bed wrestling with each other for control of the 
videos. Their faces are right near each other’s and they 
both stare at each other until Dawson takes advantage 
of the distraction and grabs the videos. He sits up, 
looking at the titles.
"I can’t believe this-He sent us Clueless and Sixteen 
Candles. Wonder what he was thinking." Dawson said 
sarcastically knowing full well that Pacey was trying 
to get Dawson and Joey to admit their true feelings for 
each other.
"We don’t have to watch them, we can do something else if 
you want to, Joe."
He looks over at Joey who is out cold on his bed asleep. 
Oh well, he thought, it’s just as well. If we had watched 
those movies, who knows what would have happened tonight. 
He goes over to his bed and pulls the blanket over Joey and 
then walks to the other side of the bed and crawls in trying 
to go back to sleep himself.
************************************************************
Dawson woke up the next morning with the sun shining into 
his room. He glances over and notices that Joey is still 
asleep in his bed. He wonders if he should try to wake 
her or just let her sleep. After several minutes of 
staring and thinking  how peaceful she looks, he decides 
to just let her be and gets up to take a shower. 
After finishing up his shower, he re-enters his bedroom 
wearing only a pair of shorts and carrying a towel to dry 
his blond hair. Walking over to his closet doors, he hears 
Joey stirring and looks over at her. She seemed to be 
waking up but instead turns over on her side and goes 
back to sleep. Dawson continues to get dressed, looking 
for something that was clean to wear in his closet. 
He’s so busy digging in his closet, that he doesn’t 
hear or notice Pacey entering until Pacey speaks.
"How’d it go last night? Did you get the gift I sent 
over?" Pacey wonders.
Realizing that Pacey was in the room and not knowing if 
Pacey has noticed Joey yet, Dawson quickly grabs a shirt 
and slips it on before coming out of the closet.
"Shhh, Pace, we need to be quiet. Joey’s still asleep on 
the bed." He informs Pacey.
Pacey looks over at Joey, who’s now holding Dawson’s prized 
ET doll in his arms and then at Dawson. A wicked smile 
crosses his face.
"Can this be? Dawson Leery, you sly dog you. This whole time 
you wanted Joey and not Jen. Not like I want to say this 
but told you so."
"Just for your information Pacey, Joey fell asleep on my bed 
and I wasn’t in the mood to wake her and send her home to 
a screaming infant. Besides, you know quite clearly, Joey 
and I are just best friends,  Like I said before, I 
have feelings for Jen, not Joey."
"If I remember correctly, Jen and you broke up. It’s time 
to move on."
"I don’t want to move on. I want Jen. I always have and 
always will want her. She’s the girl of my dreams. My first 
and only girlfriend that I’ll ever have."
"Oh, would you please stop living in that fantasy world of 
yours and come back to the land of reality. How do you 
know Jen’s the one for you if you don’t see other girls 
and live a bit."
"Please. Pace. I don’t want to see other girls because I 
already know Jen’s the one."
"Dawson, for all you know, the girl of your dreams could 
be right in front of you but you’d never know it since 
you spend the majority of your life stressing over 
neighbor girl. And I happen to know for a fact that Jen 
has a date with Cliff this afternoon."
"With who?"a shocked tone escapes from Dawson’s mouth.
"Cliff, Cliff, the one who likes to make your life 
miserable, Elliott. He asked her to go to some kind of 
bar-b-que with him and she apparently said yes." Pacey goes 
over to Dawson’s desk and sits on the edge of it. 
"Could my life get any worse?" Dawson wonders aloud to 
himself. He sees that Pacey is about to say something. 
"Don’t say it, Pace. I know what you were going to say 
and I’m really not in the mood to deal with it right now."
"Alright, I won’t say it but let me just put it this way. 
You don’t let just anyone sleep over in your bed not to 
mention touch your prized ET doll."
"That’s not true. You’ve slept over before, Pacey, many 
times."
"Dawson. if I remember correctly, *I*slept on the floor 
all those times while you and Joey got the bed.  And I 
haven’t slept over since the summer before we all entered 
junior high.
"Joey and I don’t have sleep-overs anymore either."
"Then how come she’s curled up in your bed? I bet you’re 
loving the fact that she fell asleep in your bed and didn’t 
wake up early this morning and leave before you awoke."
"Pacey, Joey is only my friend. Did you just come to spy on 
me or are you here for a reason?".
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. And no, this is not a 
social call but more of business".
 "What?"
"*Our* friend’s,"Pacey looks over at Joey, "sixteenth 
birthday is in a few weeks and I was thinking that since 
Bessie and Bodie are busy with the new baby and the 
Icehouse, and her parents’ aren’t around, that we, 
meaning you and I, throw her a surprise Sweet Sixteen 
party. What do you say?"
 Dawson is stuck trying to figure out what to say to Pacey 
but luckily gets interrupted when Joey begins to stir and 
awaken.
 Pacey walks over to where’s she’s laying and sits down 
on the edge of the bed. "Good morning, sleepyhead. Sleep 
well last night?"
Joey opens her eyes and realizes that not only is Pacey 
sitting next to her, Dawson is watching her as well.
"What is this? Grand Central Station or something? Why 
are you both staring at me like I have a contagious disease 
and could give it to you any minute?"
"Well you never know, Joey. I distinctly remember a 
sleepover when we were all eight and you were exposed 
to the chicken pox but never said a word about it before 
you came over to spend the night at Dawson’s" Pacey 
responds to Joey’s comment.
"Pacey, bite me."
"You wish. All I know is that I was out of school for 
two weeks with the chicken pox and I still have the scars 
on unmentionable places on my body to prove it. Want to 
see?"
"Pacey, that goes beyond disgusting. You really know 
how to turn a girl off from wanting to be around you. 
Dawson, what time is it?"
Dawson looks at the clock next to his bed. "It’s almost 
10:30. Why?"
"Bessie’s going to kill me! I’m late for my shift at 
the Icehouse. I was supposed to work the morning shift 
for her." Joey looks at Pacey, "Move it."
Pacey just looks at her and remains where he’s seated. "What 
if I don’t want to? Are you going to make me?"
"Pacey, move your butt before I physically harm you and 
give you a reason to never want to be with another girl."
"Looks like Cinderella here didn’t get her required eight 
hours of beauty sleep and woke up on the wrong side of 
the bed as usual." Pacey smiles as he banters with her.
Joey gives Pacey one of her death stares, sits up and 
knocks Pacey off of the bed and onto the floor and 
starts putting her shoes on.
 Dawson,who was busy getting dressed during Joey and 
Pacey’s conversation, hears a thump on the floor and asks, 
"What was that?"
Pacey stands up from where he landed and replies, a 
little embarrassed. "It was nothing. Joey was just showing 
me how much she wants me. By the way, Joe, nice hair."
Dawson is trying not to laugh at Pacey’s remarks as he 
looks at Joey, whose hair is messy and tangled up. 
"Serves you right, Pace, you asked for it and she gave 
it to you. That will teach you not to mess with Joey first 
thing in the morning."
Joey walks over to Dawson’s closet and tries to do 
something with her hair. 
"Now I know how Grant, Warren and all the other jocks 
who’ve crossed Joey must feel like after getting in her 
path of destruction." Pacey remarks to Dawson.
"How’d you find out about Warren? Who told you? Was it 
Jen?" Joey gets a worried expression on her face because 
it had only happened two days ago and she hadn’t told 
Dawson yet.   
"News travels fast, especially since Nellie, the pirana, 
was working with me last night and couldn’t stop gossiping 
with her so-called friends about the events of the previous 
day. Now, I’m not one to purposefully listen in...but..." 
Pacey starts explaining, " Nellie kept saying she 
couldn’t believe all the harassment Warren got from 
his classmates and the items that were left in his locker. 
A baby doll, baby bottle, etc, etc. I wasn’t really 
paying attention and was concentrating more on watching 
my movie until Nellie mentioned Joey and how her and her 
friend were the ones to blame, telling everyone that Warren 
was going to be a father." Dawson is now sprawled across 
his bed listening to Pacey and watching Joey walk over to 
the window seat and begin to put her shoes on.  
"Joey? Is this true? What happened at school when we 
weren’t there?" Dawson looks at Joey who is by the 
window putting her shoes on. 
"Yeah, Josephine, tell us what occurred at school on Friday? 
I mean, it couldn’t be that bad, I wasn’t there to stir 
up trouble."
Joey gives Pacey one of her death stares.
"You know, Joey, one of these days you’re going to kill 
somebody just by giving them that look of yours you just 
gave me."
"Too bad it doesn’t work on you. Unfortunately, you’re 
still here."
"Meow! Down kitty, down. Retract those claws." Pacey puts 
his hand up and motions with it as if it was a cat’s paw.
"As much as I enjoy listening to you fight like cats and 
dogs, I’m still waiting to hear about Friday."
"It was nothing. I went to school,  saw you two in the 
hallway with Billy, went to class, became the victim of 
a Warren Gerry rumor, told Abby I was pregnant, talked, 
fought, made peace with and became friends with Blondie 
over Cookie Dough ice cream, got back at Warren, and 
oh, attended Career Night. Told you it was just another 
day of my pathetic existence. Happy, now? Now if you 
excuse me, I’ve got to get my butt over to the Icehouse 
before Bessie has it for lunch." Joey stands up to leave.
"Hold up a minute, Joe. You did what?" Dawson asks Joey.
"Like I said before..." Joey starts to say.
Pacey interrupts Joey before she can finish to ask her 
a question. "Wait, you mean to tell me, that you actually 
told Abby you were pregnant? What in God’s name were 
you thinking?"
"It’s not true, is it? That you’re really pregnant?" 
Dawson gets a concerned look on his face.
"Joey is still standing but crosses her arms and just 
looks at her two closest male friends and how ridiculous 
they’re beginning to sound. "Yeah, sure, Dawson. You know 
that guy Anderson I met a few months back? The one from 
New York who I told my name was Deborah Karson? Well, I had 
a one night stand with him and now he’s left me a present 
to remember him by. What do you think?"
"You never know, Joe. You used to tell me anything 
and everything about your life but lately, you’ve been 
kind of distant and giving me a cold shoulder when we 
talk about the opposite sex." Dawson responds.
"You have to be living in a fantasy world if you really 
think Joey’s pregnant, Dawson. You, for one, should know 
that Joey wouldn’t give it up for anyone except..."
"PACEY" Joey is almost shouting, afraid that Pacey is about 
to reveal her deepest and darkest secret to her best 
friend and crush. 
"Pacey, who?" Dawson questions, totally obliviously about 
what was almost revealed to him.
"Never mind. You know how Pacey likes to cause conflict 
for me whenever I’m near him. I have to go before I’m 
grounded for life by Bessie. Since the creature here," 
Joey points to Pacey, "seems to know all the juicy gossip 
of my life, have him fill you in on the events of Friday. 
Bye guys." Joey darts out of the window and is hears 
going down the ladder.
Dawson gets off of his bed and walks over to the window 
yelling after Joey, "Bye Joe. See ya." and watches her 
as she runs across his yard and in the direction of 
the Icehouse. 
"So, whatcha say? In the mood to throw your best friend 
the wildest and best party she’s ever had?" Pacey quizzes 
Dawson.
Dawson is still watching Joey, getting further and further 
from his sight, and wondering   what had happened on 
Friday. Oh well, he thought, at least I can go over to 
Jen’s later and see if we’re still friends and maybe ask 
her about her part in Friday’s events. 
‘Ah, sure, Pacey, just let me know what I can do to 
help." Dawson says kind of distantly to his friend.
"Okay, Dawson, what member of the opposite sex 
is running through your mind this time? I know it 
possibly couldn’t be your best friend Joey, so I’m assuming 
that it’s your so-called love of your life, Jen. Would 
you please concentrate on what you and I are talking 
about here. We need to plan one big bad Sweet 16 party 
and I can’t do it by myself . Tell you what, you seem to 
want to be alone with your thoughts right now, so I’ll 
just leave and go find me a orgy or two." Pacey ducks 
under the ladder and is gone.
"Later." Dawson faintly calls out as he stares out of his 
window with a dazed expression on his face. He is now 
left alone in his room to be lost in his thoughts and 
be by himself.
He has so many questions but none of the answers he 
desperately craved. How could Jen just  dump him the 
way she did? Didn’t she see that she was everything to 
him and he would do anything to please her? Can’t she 
see how hard this was on him? And then she goes and 
accepts a date with one of the most popular kids in 
school only a week after they broke up. What happened 
to her tearful explanation she gave him of wanting to 
try things on her own for awhile? Where they just words 
said by her to let him down gently? Oh, God, he thought 
to himself as the questions about Jen went unanswered 
in the depths of his head. What am I going to do? Do I 
confront Jen and get the truth from her about the reasons 
behind their breakup? Or do I go on living my life 
like nothing’s happened and continue being her friend, 
if they were even still that? 
Dawson flops down on his bed and lays on the pillow that 
Joey had used earlier. His thoughts soon turned to Joey.  
One thing’s for certain and that was his relationship 
with Joey. However, all of the changes it was going through. 
Why is it that every time he thinks about the opposite 
sex, Joey keeps popping up in his mind? Am I making a 
bigger issue than there is or am I beginning to have 
romantic feelings for my best friend? The only girl who 
I’ve ever shared the most intimate experiences of my life 
with. They’ve grown up together and seen each other in 
the most embarrassing of situations and he never once 
thought he’d be interested in Joey. This is the girl 
who’s seen him burp, barf, pick his nose. scratch his 
butt and many other memorable moments that he’s only let 
her see him do and never thought twice about doing those 
things in front of her. He even told her his deepest, 
most intimate secret of who he walks his dog to. Pacey, 
his best male friend doesn’t even know that about Dawson 
and here is Joey, the only girl he’s known his entire 
life and never once had a romantic feeling for until now.  
What is he going to do? Does he tell Joey of his feelings 
for her and see if the feelings are mutual? If they are, 
what will happen with their friendship? He couldn’t 
stand to lose his best friend if they ever broke up. 
With the thoughts of Joey and Jen swirling inside his 
head, he decided to go find Pacey and help him plan 
Joey’s surprise party, hoping to get Jen and Joey out 
of his mind for a little while. 
************************************************************
"Pacey", Dawson calls out to his best friend who’s sitting 
at one of the outdoor tables at the Icehouse. "Mind if I 
join you?"
Pacey looks up from the magazine he’s reading and nods 
yes towards Dawson. Dawson walks over to Pacey and sits 
down across from Pacey.
"Pacey, I want to apologize for the way I acted towards 
you earlier today. I had, correction, have a lot on my 
mind right now and am trying to sort everything out. I 
didn’t mean to make you a casualty of my problems."
"Dawson, no need for the apology. We’re still friends, no 
matter how bad you treat me now and in the future. I’m 
just glad you’re finally up and about in the land of 
reality again. I was getting worried there about you."
"Pacey, can I ask you a question?"
"What’s on your mind, D?"
Okay, if I tell you, do you promise that it doesn’t leave 
this table? Because if I find out that it did, I will hunt 
you down and harm you."
"You know, I think you’ve been hanging around Joey a little 
too much lately. Her warped sense of humor is beginning to 
wear off onto you."
"How is it that every time I try to talk to you as a friend, 
you manage to bring Joey into the conversation?"
"Oh come on, Dawson. I know what this whole little talk 
with me is all about.," Dawson gives Pacey a strange 
look, "Let’s just say you’re torn between a blond haired 
ex-girlfriend of yours and one petite, feisty brunette 
that you and I both know you have the hots for."
"Pacey, it’s not like that. Joey and I are just friends. 
Like I told you earlier, Joey and I have this intense 
friendship with each other but it’s not love. I love Jen 
and I always will. She’s the one I want, not Joey."
"Dawson, Dawson, Dawson. when are you going to wake up 
and smell the coffee? I see how you two are around each 
other. You’re both so overprotective of each other, 
always looking out for the other and making sure 
everything’s okay between you two. You and I will never 
come close to the type of the relationship you have with 
her. I know, I’m not the sentimental sap like you are, 
so let me just have my moment of insanity, and tell you 
one thing. You and Joey are not just friends, alright? 
You two are destined to be together. You know how you say 
that there’s only one person for someone and how fate 
brings people together? Well, you and Joey are that.. You 
two are soul mates. No matter how many people you both 
date, there will always be this force that drives the 
two of you back together. A clear example of this is 
was a few months back when you found out that Joey had 
lied to you about your mother’s affair. Dawson, you 
were ready to throw away your friendship but instead 
Joey is the most important thing in your life, now. I know 
that, you know that, and everyone around us knows that 
as well. You are 100% in love with Miss Josephine Potter. 
Who wouldn’t be?  Even I have to admit, personality 
aside, Joey is one drop dead gorgeous young woman. And 
if I ever find out you told her I said that about her, 
I will personally kill you. I still have to keep my rep. 
up of being her punching bag, you know."
"I... I...I....Fine I admit it. I love Joey. .wow, I 
never expected those words to be so hard to say. 
You’re right...I, Dawson Leery, am in love with my 
best friend and always will be" Dawson puts his head 
into his hands and looks down at the table, "I don’t know 
what to do. Ever since we got back from Providence, 
I’ve known deep down that I loved Joey. Even more 
when I came home and found her waiting for me in my room. 
Did you know that she took care of me and covered me up 
and sat with me until I fell asleep? She’s the only one 
who knows me in more ways than one and I love her for it. 
I thought Jen was the one for me until she broke up 
with me. But the more I think about it, the more I’m glad 
that it happened."
"I’m glad my plan worked then. I was starting to wonder 
if I had to take more drastic measures to get you to 
realize your feelings for her."
"What plan? Pacey, what sick, evil plot line do you 
have going here?"
"You know, that day in detention, when I dared Joey to 
kiss you?"
Dawson sits up and nods towards Pacey. "Yeah, what about 
it?"
"Well, it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. I got these 
vibes that there was major sexual tension going on between 
you two and so I decided to play off of it and see where 
it ended up. And I’m glad it did, it brought Jen and Joey 
closer together not to mention."
Dawson has a puzzled look on his face, "That’s right, 
Dawson, Jen and Joey found a common interest to share 
and talk about-you. Haven’t you noticed how they’ve 
slowly become closer since that day? I thought for sure, 
you’d be clued in to that by now. But back to my plan, 
it made you begin to admit your feelings for Joey. You 
have to admit that the kiss you had with Joey sent 
sparks flying and was the most intense kiss I’ve ever 
seen. Am I right? Or am I right?
Dawson sits back, blushing as a small smile crosses his 
face. "Yeah."
"So you see, you want Joey and Joey wants you. There you 
go. May you both live happily ever after. Just promise 
me that I get to be your best man at the wedding."
"Thanks, Pacey. I’m going to go find Joey and tell her 
that I love her." Dawson goes to stand up from the table, 
"Pace, one question, do you know where she is?"
"Uh,, Dawson. have a seat. You do know that this is the 
Icehouse we’re at, the place where Joey works at? And 
right at this moment, she’s making her way over to us 
to take our food order. Besides, I wouldn’t just blurt 
it out to her. I’d make it memorable if I were you. 
You’re the romantic one, not me. Come up with something 
so out of this world that she’ll remember it for the rest 
of her life." 
"You’re right. Okay. Changing topics now. So, what are 
you reading?"
"Ah, nothing. Just looking at a magazine" Pacey says as 
he tries to slide the magazine under the table out of 
Dawson’s view.
"What magazine?" Dawson tries to grab it from Pacey but 
doesn’t succeed. "Come on, Pacey. Just tell me what it is."
Pacey replies softly, "Cosmopolitan"
"I couldn’t hear you clearly, Pacey, it sounded like you 
said you were reading Cosmo."
"Alright, fine. You caught me. I was reading the latest 
issue of my sisters’  Cosmo. But I was just doing some 
research."
"Yeah, Pacey. Sure. Whatever and I suppose you’re going 
to tell me next that you borrowed it just to read the 
articles they have in there and you’re not fawning over 
all the pictures of the women in the magazine. I know 
you too well."
"What’s that supposed to mean? Just because I’m a lady’s 
man, doesn’t mean I can’t be informed. Cosmo’s taught 
me a lot about the opposite sex."
"Oh yeah, like what?" Dawson questions Pacey as he 
watches Joey walk from table to table taking orders and 
a small smile is forming on his face.
"Like, Like...it’s taught me how to treat a woman the way 
she wants to be treated."
"Pacey, come on, don’t try to hand me that crap. You and 
I both know why you read Cosmo and it has nothing to do 
with how woman want to be treated by men."
"You’re just jealous"
"Jealous of what? Sure, Pacey, right. I’m so jealous of 
you because you read Cosmo and know more about a woman’s 
needs than I do."
"You don’t believe me? Fine, lets put it to the test." 
Pacey spots Joey and starts acting like an idiot to get 
her attention "Oh, Joey.? Joey Potter?....Miss Josephine 
Potter? Me and our oblivious friend over here would like 
a word with you."
"Pacey. Pacey. No! Don’t you dare get her involved in 
this! Please, I’m begging you, don’t do it."
"Too late, Dawson. It looks like she’s coming this way." 
Pacey sits back down in his chair and waits for Joey to 
come over.
Joey sees Pacey and reluctantly goes over to Pacey and 
Dawson.
"Pacey, I swear, one of these days, expect that 
screwdriver in your temple."
"Is that a promise, Joe? Cuz I would so love to see 
you try. "Pacey responds with a smile.
"If you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to work and 
you’re preventing me from doing that.. Now, for the last 
time, do you need something or did you just come to 
torture me like you usually do every day?"
"As much as I love harassing you Joe, me and Dawson, 
here, have a question about the opposite sex and was 
hoping to get it answered. And since Jen’s not here, 
I figured you’d do."
"Oh, how touching  Thanks Pacey. Coming from you, that 
means a lot" Joey says with sarcasm in her voice.
"Just hurry up and ask your question before I get fed up 
with you and do something unbecoming to your manhood." 
Joey lets loose towards Pacey.
"Dawson, are you going to let your woman threaten me the 
way she does?"
"I am not his woman. I am no one’s woman. See, that’s 
the problem with you, Pacey, you think you know woman so 
well but then you go and do the things you do. Dawson? 
Dawson?" Joey looks over at Dawson who’s deep in 
thought. "Great, you went and put him in his own little 
fantasy world of his with your company. Happy now?"
"Yeah, I do cuz I know something you don’t know. It’s about 
you. I know who likes you and I’m not saying a word." 
Pacey says in a singing-type taunting voice. 
"Pacey, I am so gone from here" Joey turns to leave but 
Pacey calls her back. 
"Wait, Joe. Seriously, please don’t go." Joey just stands 
where she is, not moving, just looking at Pacey. "Alright, 
go, but before you do, at least help me get Dawson out 
of lala land. You’re the only one who can get him back 
to the real world."
Joey walks over to the table, sets her menu pad down, 
and stands right in front of Dawson. She takes her hand 
and hits him in the back of the head. Dawson is startled 
and looks up to see who did it.
"Joey, what are you doing? Why you’d hit me?"
"Well, I was working and earning some money but you and 
Pacey have me focusing my energy serving you two. 
God, sometimes, I feel more like your baby-sitter than 
your friend. What I do, for you two, is beyond me." 
Joey looks at Pacey," There, he’s back. Now I have to 
get back to work. Bessie is probably already going to 
kill me as it is."
Joey walks away from them and goes back to serving meals 
to her customers.
"You had to go and get us in trouble with her, didn’t 
you? You don’t know when to keep your mouth shut, Pacey, 
When will you ever learn? Wait, don’t answer that. I don’t 
think I want to know your reasonings. I should get going. 
I have a ton of homework to finish up before school 
tomorrow. So, I’ll see you later?"
"Yeah, my man, see ya."
Dawson gets up from the table to leave and just as he’s 
about to walk away, Pacey calls out to him, "She wants 
you, you know. and you want her just as much as she 
lusts after you."
"Good-bye Pacey!" Dawson responds.