I ran down the street and back, people staring at me. It was September and many people were outside doing gardening and such. I screamed that I was dying and they stared at me like I was scaring them!

The ambulance arrived and the paramedics told me I was having a panic attack and gave me a paper bag to breathe into. I screamed that I was dying and they better do something NOW! They did something alright. They called the Police, who showed up in no time at all.

Well, my paranoia made me kick a cop, run away and then get handcuffed so tight it made my cuts on my wrists (I had recently self-injured) bleed profusely. I was taken to a hospital where the panic and paranoia continued to worsen. They put me in a locked room, and I banged on the hard door so much that my knuckles are scarred to this very day.

After what seemed to be 8 hours, but was probably one hour, a doctor came in to see me. She gave me a little blue pill to put under my tongue (Ativan). I took it after arguing, and her threatening to give me a needle. Within ten minutes or so I was fine.

Now, the paranoia was much worse than I described, but it would take forever to describe it! I talked to the doctor, and she asked me a lot of questions about what was going on. She then gave me a prescription for Ativan.

That was the beginning of my dealing with drugs for my problems. I took Ativan for months, as well as Serax, Buspar, Clonazepam, Valium... I could not live my life without these meds! But one day, I read up on anti anxiety meds. They were ALL addicting! And Clonazepam was actually for seizures! I have to take some meds, but I don't want to take addictive ones, so I was determined to quit taking them.

I found out from my doc and reading books, that several things in your diet can cause panic. Caffeine is a big one. Letting my blood sugar get too low was something that I was doing wrong. Alcohol can cause attacks. And smoking does too. Lack of sleep is a big culprit in some people. Antidepressants and over the counter meds can make us anxious too. Ventolin, used for ashthma caused a few bad attacks for me. Not getting enough exercise can be a reason for panic. So many things, and I was doing everything wrong!

I changed my diet immediately. I went off caffeine completely and cut down my smoking. I stopped drinking alcohol and began to sleep at night. (Without meds. I used relaxation to fall asleep at night.) When I was hungry, I ate something healthy. I began to walk a lot, and I even lost some weight. I used relaxation and chammomile tea when I felt a panic attack might be coming on.

I still have panic attacks, but I can fend them off without a problem. I gradually added caffeine back into my diet and it doesn't cause a problem for me. I would much rather do it this way than be on all the meds that make me too tired to even shower once a day.