Horrors of the 9th Dimension
Setting: High School classroom-the rest will be figured out later
Characters: 5 completely different students(Bradley, Simon and Cyrus may be played by
males or females; Lola and Sarah must be female) the audience(into more depth at a later
time)
Bradley: So I said to him...(mumbles)
All Others(except sleeping #2): To who?!
Bradley(1): To my psychologist...(mumbles)
Lola(3): Like, my boyfriend went to him once and like for some reason dumped me...it
like totally sucked, but you know, I was cheating on him with his best friend the whole
time. (smiles)
All Others(except sleeping #2): We love you Lola!
Bradley: You know, I get nervous sometimes...and he said...
Simon(4): (interrupts #1)In order for us to progress to the next level, the professor of this
insufficent class must arrive promptly!
All Others(except sleeping #2): Stop using big words!
Simon: Nitwits...
All Others(except sleeping #2): Thanks! (#4 rolls eyes and continues to read his book)
Bradley: She gave me a teddy bear after I won the lottery...(#2 wakes up with a snort)
Cyrus: You won the lottery? I wonder how much doobie I could get for that... (goes
back to sleep and dreams of winning the lottery)
Lola: (becomes excited)Like, oh my god!!! I never knew you were like, so like cool
Brad! What are you doing Friday night?!
Simon: I believe you must be 18 in order to win the lottery in this state...considering you
are 17, you are not legally eligible to win that award...I believe I must contact the state
concerning this matter...
Lola: You can’t do that! We’re going out!
Bradley: (smiles and blushes)We are?!
Simon: The best time to call will be after this review session is over...that is, if this teacher
ever arrives.
Lola: Oh yeah, I’m like busy Friday night, I have to get a pedicure...(#5 slowly walks to
the back of the room and takes a seat in the back. The room is quiet while she does this. )
Sarah(5): Where is the teacher?! Sh!t, I could’ve slept more...This b!tch never seems to
get anything right...
Lola: Like you ever get anything right.
Sarah: What you trying to say hoe?! Don’t you be telling me what is right you damn
whore...
Simon: (snickers)Is she speaking English?
Cyrus: (wakes up and imitates the Fonz)Heyyyyy, one time I walked to the city and this
guy stole my shoes and I had to walk back to the train station in my socks.(falls back
asleep)
(tentative placement)-(all of a sudden the class notices the teacher; she is
supposed to be in the direction of the audience , and they all look in that direction)
Where do I go now?
Back to the beginning
More please!