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FREEHAWK's POETRY

Contents

The Price of Silence
The Forgotten Child
I Walk Alone in the Night
Weekend Angel
Dusk Beside the Sea
Patterns in the Mist
The Things I Never Said
Soul Mates
The Stranger Awakes
Where Dwells the Dreamer?
Prayer for the Fallen




Farewell to Matthew - A poem written and dedicated to Matthew Shepard, included as part of the Matthew Shepard Memorial Page.
 
 


 

THE PRICE OF SILENCE
Memorial Day 1999 

In honor and memory of the Men, Women, and Children whose lives were taken because of hate and intolerance.  May their spirits guide us to the day when acceptance is truly universal, when individual differences  no longer matter.

Together we stand millions strong
Yet too few are seen or heard
Too many voices never speak out
Until it becomes too late

Together they number in the millions
Yet each, at the end, stood alone,
Never again will their voices ring out
All paid a price too high

We remain a community divided
They share a bond of blood

Our silence became their condemnation
Their silence is our damnation


THE FORGOTTEN CHILD 

I feel I should preface this particular poem with a note. The Forgotten Child does not reflect my own coming out experience. However, I have witnessed the pain of others who have faced the experiences this poem speaks of. Therefore, this poem is dedicated to all those whose honesty was greeted by rejection.

You looked upon me as I lay in my crib
Your baby, so helpless and small
With love bright deep in your eyes
a heart's warmth freely given
I was your child

You watched me; you held me
My tears and smiles your own
We laughed and we played
We cried and we prayed
I was your child

Parent and child, together we grew
Through love you showed me the world
The hopes that you shared
Showed my future prepared
I was your child

When my goals became different
You gave me room to grow
For the child will fall
To the adolescent's call
Still, I was your child

One difference in me brooks no refute
A truth I cannot deny
I thought you would see
That I was still me
That I was still your child

How then has it happened?
Why do I now stand alone?
Because I chose to reveal
Who I am, what I feel?
Have you forgotten your child?

What unforgivable wrong have I done
     that has left me cast away?
Or is there no longer room in your heart
     for me - your child - who is gay?

I am who I was, and always will be
     the child you held by the hand
But now I can see, you look upon me
     as a stranger you don't understand

You taught me the value of telling the truth
     of honesty right from the start
And yet because I told you the truth
     we now stand worlds apart

There's a pain that rages deep in my heart
     an anguish you may never know
You turned me away because I am gay
    you want me - your child - to go

How quickly it was you seemed to forget
The happiness we shared
When truth became told
Your hearts became cold
Was I not your child?

Together we stood as a family
Until I learned who I was
Now with trust lying broken
These words go unspoken
I am your child!

I am your child!
 


I WALK ALONE IN THE NIGHT

This one was actually published in 1994 in Today's Greatest Poets

I walk alone in the night
Lost in darkness within and without
Searching for a glimmer of light
To show me that I'm not alone
That my dreams are more than just dreams

I walk alone in the night
Untouched by joy or pain
I ache for the sunlight of companionship
But my tears give me only rain
The echo of my heart, thunder

I walk alone in the night
No stranger to the shadows of despair
For in my lonely world are others
Others like me, beyond my reach
All of us alone in the dark

I walk alone in the night
Until, at last, I see a hand
It reaches for mine, bringing the dawn
Boldly I take it, afraid to let go
And step forth into the sunlight



 
WEEKEND ANGEL

    The time we have seems always short
        yet so much into it spent
    Single moments of joy unchained
        a freedom heaven-sent

    Arms around me, gentle and strong
        each kiss so warm, so sweet
    A subtle jolt as bodies touched
        breath held each time we meet

    You smile bright, light lightning struck;
        your eyes like starlit twins
    Flames between us flared to life
       fanned by sheepish grins

    A thunder-burst of joy you give
        like rain on arid ground
    Tempests rage within my heart
        as happiness unbound

    The timeless moments alone we share
        in deepest recess felt
    Where soothing touch makes time stand still
        as you within me dwell

    The weekend pass and time returns
        and paths are called apart
    My weekend angel I remember still
        with eyes that pierce my heart
 
AT DUSK BESIDE THE SEA

    Memories and reflections
    Rising with the tide
    Images spill onto the sand
        washing, retreating, returning
    The past, an old friend remembered

    Sandcastles and seashells
    Standing tall and proud
    Moments on the shore of memory
        shining, waiting, fleeting
    Lost upon a forgotten beach

    Time yields not and memories fade
    Sandcastles caught in the waves
    Still the sea like future thunder
    Echoes with promise of life

    Dusk fades into night
    A single star shines upon the shore
    Somewhere in the glow
    A lone seashell glitters
    A sandcastle stands tall
    The dawn will always come
 

PATTERNS IN THE MIST
 

The darkest night will always fade
into the dawn sublime
Yet first is born a scene unmarred
a moment out of time

The flow of time just disappears
and magic now exists
Captured in surreal shades of gray
in patterns in the mist

The world lies cloaked in mist pristine
by hands of men unstained
Where silence reigns in peace serene
like peace of soul regained

What once seemed real takes on new form
reality defined anew
By edges blurred and shapes unclear
and grays of varied hue

Each tree an island in the mist
so strong and yet so frail
A steadfast, surreal sentinel
on watch before the veil

What secrets lay beyond the veil
unseen by human eyes
What mysteries undreamt yet dwell?
What voice unheard still cries?

For is the mist before our eyes
or is it in the mind?
A shield we use to hide ourselves
from truths to which we're blind

Each shape within the mist reflects
a truth within the soul>
Defining faces of ourselves
at once both part and whole

Within the mists we feel as one
but never dwell alone
For always ready, always there
the light divine is shone

What once was gray shines now as white
through magic with a twist
And clarity and truth entwine
in patterns in the mist
THE THINGS I NEVER SAID
 

So many things I held inside,
truths I never brought to light
For fear of saying something wrong
of something that felt so right

You changed my life without a word
through the softness of your touch
And blinded eyes you opened wide
to see I'd missed so much

Your smile would reach into my heart
to fan its fragile wings
Your laughter rang like angels' songs
on harps with golden strings

The many things I felt so deep
I never dared to tell
The joy I felt seemed heaven-sent
my pain a private hell

The tears you cried became my own
my joy was yours to share
Your slightest touch would lift me up
although you weren't aware

Within your arms I dared to dream
that love was mine to hold
Yet silence held the words in check
and feelings went untold

You never knew how much I loved
I dared not let it show
I knew you were not mine to hold
I had to let you go

Then came the day when all was changed
for players in a game
And words that captured heart's pure joy
no longer rang the same

But still I longed to shout the truth
and tell you what I felt
Yet joy has given way to pain
for Fate a cruel hand dealt

For how was anyone to know
the fall that lay ahead?
Now I am left to wish I'd shared
the things I never said


 

SOUL MATES
 

In the beginning,
a love that spanned Eternity
Two souls, forever joined
in love wild, together and free

The years roll by
Life upon Life upon Life
Kin upon kin, friend upon friend
lovers, children husband and wife

At last, the time is now at hand
though love may not yet show
Until the final truth is learned
and two, as One, shall grow

A A promise fulfilled
stands bright for all to see
As two souls become rejoined

in love wild, together and free
THE STRANGER AWAKES
 

Beyond the hidden horizon
A dream that never sleeps
A wave of vision in my mind
Into my waking world creeps

A dream takes shape before my eyes
Its form a wish I fear
Dream and reality become one truth
A truth I fear to hear

Before my eyes, a man I know
Yet a stranger I fear to see
For I have looked into my soul

And I know the stranger is me



 
 

Where Dwells the Dreamer?
 

     Where, oh where, does the dreamer dwell?
     The sleeper who never wakes
     With visions of candy and rainbow toys
     Ice cream clouds and soda pop lakes

     Is he a child whose joy knows no bounds?
     In a world that time never mars
     Or maybe a man untouched by despair
     Whose happiness glitters like stars

     Before awestruck eyes opens a world of wonder
     Revealed through a glimpse in the mirror
     Where thought takes shape and fantasies live
     In happiness, love, and bright cheer

     The unburdened dreamer in each of us dwells
     A place that pain doesn't reach
     We need only listen and feel in our hearts
     What joy the dreamer can teach

     If for only a day, or even an hour
     Give in to the call of your dreams
     Climb mountains of candy or sugar fruit trees
     Or swim in lemonade streams
 

 

 Prayer for the Fallen
 

For every person taken from this world because of hate and intolerance.  May the memories remain to inspire courage and compassion.

Innocence, upon a time was said to be
found in children's eyes
Yet, innocence, like crystal shattered
Drained with life's blood
Eclipsed by bitter darkness

Do they remember, O Lord, that moment of horror
When false judgment cast its sentence?
when shadows of fear like axes fell
And dreams, with innocence, died?

Or do they know Peace, O Lord, within your arms
And warmth within your Love?
Has, for them, your true Light banished
The monsters of the night?

For the fallen, dear Lord, I pray
for innocence born anew
And if, in truth, that lies with children
Then for the fallen I pray - 

Please, O Lord, please let them forget
So they can be little again
 

 

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