Horrah! The official, original Crux Chronicles is up gob! Prepare to be stupified!!! (Please Note: MANY inside jokes gob.)
Crux: Eek! Molester!
Me: huh? WHERE?!?!?!
Mike: BWAHAHA! I am evil!
Me: <Kick molester's ass>
Crux: Yay! O wait, I can't talk...heheh...
THE END
Crux: Help! Evil potty monkey sinker is here!
Me: Oh NO! Back you evil fiend!
Potty Monkey: Bwar.
Crux: EEEEEEE!
Me: Don't worry you emotionless and unable to talkedness pink little
robot you! I'm here to save you!
Crux: Really?
Potty Monkey: No! I will use my super duper evil mega ultrasonic superlightspeed
destroyo attack!
Me: Noooooo!
Crux: Ohh, my savior! You died!
Me: Fear not! I will use my super duper duper fancy schmancy uppercut
attack that I put a cool name on but doesn't do anything special!
Potty Monkey: Hahahaha! I laugh at you!
Crux: Save me! Uh I mean...Kuru-kuyuun...
Me: Go, super duper duper fancy schmancy uppercut attack that I put a
cool name on but doesn't do anything special!
Potty Monkey: Oww...I will be back!
Crux: Yay! He'll be back-I mean yay! He's gone-I mean I can't talk so
I'll sprinkle some memory loss powder on you so that you forget your own pathetic
victory over Potty Monkey Sinker! Oops! That's nightshade! I mean....Kuru-kuyuun...
THE END
Crux: I'm doing your dirty and extremely yellow and smelly underw-what?
You don't like me talking about your underwear like that?
Me: No!
Crux: Then face the evil never-stops-sucking-stuff-up-in-it washing machine
that is sucking me up help me foul-underwearing underwear man!
Me: Grab onto my underwear! It's elastic!
Crux: I won't touch it!
Me: It's not dirty...honestly! See? Not a speck-
Crux: Not a peck? Gross!
Me: That's it! No rescue pink little robot from evil never-stops-sucking-stuff-up-in-it
washing machine that just ate my 4 million dollar comic book colle-HEY! Just
turn it OFF!
Crux: Kuru-kuyuun...
Me: No! Don't go all cute and dinky an SD oh fine, I'll save you!
Mike: I won't let you! Hahahahaha! I will get my revenge on-noooo! There
goes my molesting equipment!
Crux: Kuru-kuyuun! Kurukurukurukurukurukuru!
Me: Molester! Don't do it!
Mike: <goes after molesting equipment>
Me: Turn it off! Turn it off! Was that a cow?
Michael Cao: MOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Crux: Save me, oh handsome and powerful Dirty Underwear Man!
Me: I'm coming...!
Crux: Oww! I got hit by a flying Rei Farm OOOH! So pretty!
Me: No-nonono-don't FOLLOW IT!!! Rei Farm? Hey wait!
THE END
Crux: Something is sitting on me! EEYAH!
Mike: I'm sitting on something hard, lumpy and squirmy! EEYAH!
Me: I just found my super megavolt doesn't-need-a-computer-technician
flashlight and I am looking at you guys! EEYAH!
Michael Cao: MOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Rei #1: Welcome to the Evangelion Happy Hour!
Rei #2: For 75 cents, we can tell you what time it was 4 days ago!
Crux: Sounds good.
Me: Don't fall for it!
Crux: <pays>
Rei #3: 4 days ago it was 4 days ago!
All: Drrrrr....
Rei #1: Here inside the evil never-stops-sucking-stuff-up-in-it washing
machine, we offer only the highest quality of Rei Farm merchandise!
Rei #3: For example, take a look at this piece of art! <holds up molester's
equipment> This coffee cup was drank out of by Rei herself!
Mike: Hey! My equipment! Give that back to me so that I can be evil and
use my evil molesting stuff on you!
Rei #2: We start the bidding on this Barney coffee cup at 14 pieces of
whipped cream!
Crux: How do you....get pieces of....whipped cream?
Me: Looki all the Reis.............
Crux: Hey you who doesn't really have a name in this pathetic series!!
Yeah, you! Stop looking at those..........things an follow me!
Me: Huh-? Seeing pink thing in corner of eye...
Crux: Kuru-kuyuun...<goes Super Chibi which is just a term that means
that she looks exactly the same as she did before but is giving guy without
a name in this pathetic series an enormous wedgie>
Me: YAAA!!! Molester!!!
Mike: Will you STOP CALLING ME THAT?
Me: You molested me!
Mike: No, that was the pink furry at your feet!
Crux: I'm not a furry!
Mike: You sure look like it when guy without a name in this pathetic
series ties you up in your own hair!
Me: Good idea.....
THE END
Crux: Let me go!
Me: No.
Mike: Ha-ha!
Killer Poodle Man: BWAHAHAHAHA!
Mike: I can laugh better! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh you're an evil ice-cream-launching-ice-cream-cone
holding Killer Poodle Man!
Killer Poodle Man: And it has five-speeds too!
Me: WOW! Five speeds?
Mike: Mwahahaha! My molesting equipment! Now I will molest you all!
Killer Poodle Man: Hey, that's not in the script!
Mike: So? Buzz off, four-speed!
Killer Poodle Man: That's FIVE speed!
Mike: Four-speed, Four-eyes, what difference does it make?
Michael Cao: MOOOOOOOO!!!!
Me: What do you think of oujia boards?
Killer Poodle Man: Oujia boards? You mean the weird waxie knaxie thingie
that you spell "oujia" but is pronounced weegie because the guys who
used them were all on magic kool-aid? Duh....
Me: Too late!
Crux: <freed> I'm going to kick you now, evil guy without a name
in this pathetic series, for tying me up with my own hair and making me look
like a oh sorry sorry sorry I keep forgetting! I can't talk! Kuru-kuyuun...<kicks
guy without a name in this pathetic series>
Me: Ow. That hurt.
Rei #2: More emphasis!
Rei #1: Please!
Rei #3: NOW.
Me: Eek...ok! OHHH OWW that HURT you little dirty pink fluff who has
a SUB-MACHINE GUN?!?!?!?!
Crux: I'm hardcore now!!! <shoots up guy without a name in this pathetic
series>
Mike: Bwahaha.
Killer Poodle Man: Bwahaha.
THE END
Me: Toldya you were too late! Face the power of my poorly-painted-with-vomit-green-shade-of-green-oujia-board-that-has-more-barnacles-on-it-than-Kuja's-panties!!!
Kuja: I object!
Crux: Go away, evil thong-wearing door ornament! You're supposed to be
in the audience!
Kuja: But-but-
Rei #1: Kuuuuuujaaa....
Rei #2: You wanna.....sponnnggee baaaathh....?
Rei #3: Come....into our nice....relaxing....pool of molten lava with
us!.....
Kuja: SPONGE BATH!
Mike: OOH! That's gonna hurt...
Crux: Thank goodness that creep is gone.
Me: Kuja?
Crux: No, the blue freaks.
Mikoto: HE-EY! <from a safe distance in his Super Star Destroyer plotting
a course to another galaxy> I object! From a distance!
Crux: Damn, my machine gun doesn't fire over 20 bazillion light years...
Me: Anyway, My oujia board will HEY! A cow! <bop>
Michael Cao: MOOOOOOOO!!!! <splat>
Me: Stand back, my pink-haired, pink-bodied, pink-headed, pink-armed,
pink-handed, pink legged, pink-footed furry! I will take care of these two rotten-egg-head-shaped-and-smelling-ice-cream-eating-........people!!!
Crux: I like ice cream! Especially pistachio with toe jam!
Mike: EEEEEWWWW!!!! <keels over>
Me: Nice job, Crux! Now for you, Killer Poodle Man! Barnacles-from-hell..o-jello-land-on-a-puke-green-oujia-board
mega juicy super splatty burp attack!!!!!!!!!
Killer Poodle Man: Oh no! Not the barnacles-from-hell..o-jello-land-on-a-puke-green-oujia-board
mega juicy super splatty burp attack!
Me: NOO-OWWW!!!
Killer Poodle Man: Doink! Oh oops, hang on. That was supposed to be in
little triangle bracket things. <doink!> There we goooOOOHHH!!!! OWWWWW!!!
The stench! This is worse than Shreck's fart! I will be back...guy without a
name in this pathetic series!!! What else? Bad guys always come back an be a
pain in the ass, because otherwise there wouldn't be a series! See? I get paid
well! Excuse me while I explode. <does>
Crux: Yay! You saved me again.....oh god....kuru-kuyuun...
Me: Now let's get out of this evil never-stops-sucking-stuff-up-in-it
washing machine!
Crux: Yay!
Me: An Rei Farm is comin' with us!
Crux: <goes Super Chibi again which is just a term that means that
she looks...I'm sure you remember>
THE END
Crux: Woo hoo! Out of evil never-stops-sucking-stuff-up-in-it washing
machine!
Me: <choking on underwear> Mmm-mphh mmmpph, mppffhhh!
Crux: NOW tell me if they're clean, dirty and extremely yellow and smelly
underwear man!
Me: <keels over>
Crux: That's BETTER. Now! What's next on the agenda?
Mike: Shouldn't those dirty and extremely yellow and smelly underwear
be super uber sparkly cleanified now?
Crux: There's nothing I can do about yours, you molesting monkey-freak!
Mr. Sephy: Hi.
Me: Aaaaaaaand I'm back! Miss me, you emotionless and unable to talkedness
pink little robot you?
Crux: ERR Kuru-kuyuun...
Me: Magnificent! Then it's time for a new event in the demented twisted
rantilicious insane hyper strange world of the Crux Chronicles!!!
Mr. Sephy: Aaaand...that would be..?
Crux: DUN DA DUNN DUN DUNDADUNNN....DADA DADA DADAAAAAAA!
Me: The GREAT CRUX CHRONICLES ADVENTURE!!!
Mr. Sephy: Uhh, that's great guy without a name in this pathetic series...but
what about ME?!?!
Michael Cao: MOOOOO.
Me: That's great, Mr. Sephy. Recall yourself to episode 10 please.
Mr. Sephy: But I don't WANT to wait until then!
Mike: Super-ugly monkey bomb weirdo poopsicle flinger mega wedgie blast
ATTACK!!!
Mr. Sephy: NOOOOOOOO <blows up>
Crux: UM...that's uh nice..but..do it SOMEWHERE ELSE!!
Me: <recording Crux's voice> ah-HA! I got you on tape now! The
world shall know that Crux TALKS!!!
Crux: NOO err KURUUUUU!!! <destroys tape recorder>
Me: Not THAAT! That-that-that~
Crux: Kuru?
Me: That's not just any tape recorder...that was the tape recorder of
infalliable wisdom!
Crux: Kuruuuuu....<big puppy eyes>
Me: It's spirit has vanished...and YOU'RE GOING TO FIND IT FOR ME!!
Crux: <aside to the audience> Heh...this is his idea of an adventure...?
Now I know why guy without a name in this pathetic series HAS no name...
Me: WHAT...WAS...THAT?!?!?!
Crux: Super chibi kuru.
THE END
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