A LIFE OF LOVE
Romans 12:9-21
The
entire first half of Paul’s epistle to the Romans set forth God’s act of love
in bringing salvation to those who were lost.
Chapters 12-16 sets forth our response to God’s love that was
demonstrated to us. Our response is one
of love. We love because we have first
been loved. But there is more in these
verses than merely a command to love. Love is expressed in what it DOES; it is seen
in its ACTIONS.
In
the movie “Forrest Gump,” the main character has a saying – “Stupid is as
stupid does.” The same applies to
love. Love is as love does. And that is true, not only in God who gave
His only Son out of love for us, but also in our acts of love for one another
and for the world at large.
LOVING
FROM THE HEART
Let
love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. (Romans
12:9).
Paul
begins this section with an introductory command concerning love. He will then move to the specifics of HOW
that love is to be manifested.
|
12:9 |
12:10 |
12:11 |
12:12 |
12:13 |
|
Introductory command to
love without hypocrisy |
That love is manifested toward fellow believers
by... |
|||
|
By giving preference to one
another |
Being fervent &
diligent |
Rejoicing, persevering,
praying |
Meeting needs &
practicing hospitality |
|
Love
is to be without hypocrisy. That
means love is TRUE. It is not merely a
mask for underlying motives. In the
1960's this country faced the issue of Situation Ethics. The question was this: Is it okay to do wrong if the outcome is
loving? One popular play that dealt with
this question was The Rainmaker. The
movie depicts an aging spinster who enters into a sexual relationship with a
passing con-artist. When her brother
objects that such an action is morally wrong, he is admonished, “Son, you are
so full of what’s right that you’ve lost sight of what’s good.”
We
don’t talk much about Situational Ethics these days, not because it is dead and
gone, but because it is so universally accepted in our culture that it does not
need such a label.
We
have entered an age where right and wrong are defined by whether or not they
are loving. And so, if a man and a woman
(or even two people of the same gender) wish to enter into an adulterous
relationship, it is deemed to be okay as long as they love one another. But real love is not like that. Real love is not merely situational. Real love does not embrace evil; it clings to
that which is good.
LOVING
THE BRETHREN
Be
devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in
honor; 11 not lagging
behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation,
devoted to prayer, 13 contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing
hospitality. (Romans 12:10-13).
|
There
is a play on words when Paul says, “Be devoted (filostorgoi) to one another in brotherly love (filadelfia|).” We could
translate it to say, “Show family love in your brotherly love.” |
Having
given a general call to love without hypocrisy, Paul now moves to
specifics. He will speak specifically of
love among believers. This does not mean
that we ought not to love unbelievers.
It does mean that the love we believers have for one another is to be a
special love, a brotherly love. Paul
elsewhere says that God is the Savior of all men, especially of believers
(1 Timothy 4:10). There are many such
commands in the Scriptures. The Bible
has quite a lot to say about how we are to treat one another. We are family and we are supposed to act like
family.
My
mother used to teach her children that nothing is as important as family. It was important to her because she had been
raised without a family of her own. She
had been given away when she was a little child and she had never been adopted
and had never experienced the love of a family.
Family
IS important. Nothing that I say here
should take away from that fact. But
earthly family is only temporary. There
is another family that is going to transcend these temporal limits. The family of God is going to be family for
all eternity.
What
follows the command to “be devoted to one another” is a series of Greek participles. A participle is a verb that is changed to
further describe the main verb that it modifies. These participles each tell us a bit more of
how we are to be devoted to other another.
They describe the love that we are to show for one another.
1. Love that Lifts: Give preference to
one another in honor (12:10).
We are to be in the business of lifting one another
up. This is the language of putting
someone on a pedestal. We’ve been told
that we should not lift up others onto a pedestal, but Paul says that we should
be doing that, not in a bad way, but to honor one another with a proper
attitude of love.
Love does not demand the spotlight. Love is happy to see others honored and
preferred. What is you reaction when
someone gets more credit and more recognition than you? Do you feel a twinge of jealousy? That is not the reaction of love. Love sees others as more important that yourself
and seeks to honor others more than yourself.
2. Love that does not Lag: Not lagging behind in diligence
(12:11).
Diligence and lagging are opposites. One is to characterize us; the other is
not. Our love is to be active. It is not to be a lazy love.
What is a lazy love?
It would be a love that loves in word but not in deed. It is a love that says, “I love you and one
of these days I will get around to demonstrating that love.” How would you like to be loved like
that? We are to be active in our love. Ours is to be a love that moves us with all
diligence. Real love keeps on
loving. It endures.
3. Love that is Heated: Fervent in spirit, serving the Lord
(12:11).
The term that is translated “fervent” is from the
Greek root zew. It means “to boil.” This is describing the diligent love of the
previous clause. When water boils, it is
hot, but it is also moving. Our love is
to be hot and moving. It moves us to the
service of the Lord.
This heated love involves serving the Lord. The Greek text reads tw
kuriw douleuonteV, literally “acting as a
slave toward the Lord.” How different has
been the attitudes of those within the church.
All too often, we come to church seeking to have our own desires and
needs served. But our attitude is to be
that of a love slave to the Lord.
4. Love that Hopes: Rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation
(12:12).
Ours is to be a hopeful love. The quality of hope points to that which is
still in the future. Hope is defined as
faith in the future tense. When we
rejoice in hope, we are rejoicing in that which we look to be fulfilled in the
future.
The problem with the future is that it is future and
we are still in the present. In the
present we have things like tribulation.
But in the future, there is hope for that which will bring rejoicing.
|
Present Experience |
Future Hope |
|
We persevere in present
tribulation |
We rejoice in our hope for
the future |
5. Love that Prays: Devoted to prayer (12:12).
Our love for one another is to be manifested in our
prayer life. How much time do we spend
praying for one another? We are not only
commanded to engage in such prayer, we are to be devoted to such prayer.
What do you do when someone asks you to pray for a
special need? I’ve gotten into the habit
of taking such a shared need and going into prayer over that need
immediately. I do that, not in order to
be more spiritual, but because I recognize my own lack of spirituality. I typically pray for such a need immediately
because I know that, if I wait until a future time, I run the risk of
forgetting all about it.
6. Love that Gives: Contributing
to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality (12:13).
With these last two qualities of love, we see that
love put into action. Love is not really
love if it does not act. The action is to
be twofold. The first area is directed
toward believers, the second is directed toward everyone else.
|
CONTRIBUTING (koinwnounteV) to the needs of the saints. Real fellowship involves meeting needs. |
First, we are to contribute to the needs of the
saints. This does not stop us from
giving money to unbelievers, but we ought to have a special concern to meet the
needs of our fellow Christians.
The early church was characterized by such
giving. Acts 4:34 tells us that there
was not a needy person among them because those who had wealth would use
that wealth to meet the needs of those who had nothing. Such funds were collected and brought to the
apostles for redistribution. The function
was later taken over by the deacons of the church.
Secondly, we are to show hospitality. The term “hospitality” is translated from the
Greek word filoxenia. It is a compound word, made from the joining
of two separate words together.
• FiloV – Love
• XenoV – Stranger
This points to the activity, not only of showing
hospitality to family and to close friends, but to reaching out and showing
that sort of hospitality to strangers.
Love
is the mark of the Christian. Jesus said
that by this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love
for one another (John 13:35). He
never said they would know we are Christians because of our doctrinal statement
or because of our Reformed faith or because we speak in tongues or because we
don’t speak in tongues. Love is the sign
that you are His disciple.
LOVING
THE HURTERS AND THE HURTING
14 Bless
those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice
with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another; do
not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your
own estimation. (Romans 12:14-16).
The
love that we have for God is to be reflected in our love for others; even for
those who set themselves up against us to hurt us. Paul takes us to this arena of love by
quoting the words of Jesus: Bless
those who persecute you. Jesus said
this in His Sermon on the Mount.
1. A Heart of Blessing: Bless
those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (12:14).
There is an interesting play on words to be seen
between verse 13 and verse 14 that fails to come through in our English
translation. It revolves around the two
different meanings that can be carried by the Greek word diwkw.
|
Verse 13 |
Verse 14 |
|
...PRACTICING (diwkonteV) hospitality |
Bless those who
PERSECUTE (diwkontaV) you |
On the one hand, the Christian is to be pursuing
people in order to do good toward them.
On the other hand, he is to bless those who are pursuing him for evil
intentions.
We are to bless because we have been blessed. We are to avoid cursing because there is One
who became a curse for us.
2. A Heart of Empathy: Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with
those who weep (12:15).
|
Literally, “Rejoice with rejoicing ones, weep with
weeping ones.” |
This is a description of incarnational
relationship. It is pictured in the
ministry of Jesus. He is the One who
left heaven to take on flesh and to live among us and to experience that which
we experience. We are called to do the
same thing with others. We are to share
their rejoicing, even when it does not benefit us. And we are to share their pain, even when it
does not hurt us. Why? Because we are connected and both the benefit
and the hurt really are our own.
3. A Heart of Unity: Be of the same mind toward one another
(12:16).
When Paul speaks of “one another,” he is speaking of
believers. We are to be unified, not
only in what we do, but also in how we think.
That does not mean that we stop thinking, but it does mean that we have
that which guides our thinking. When he
says that we are to be of the same mind toward one another, he is
speaking of our outlook on the important things. We are to see ourselves and our world the way
God sees and this gives us the same mind toward one another, especially in the
area of how we treat one another.
4. A Heart of Humility: Do
not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your
own estimation (12:16).
Someone has said that humility is not thinking lowly
of yourself; it is not thinking of yourself at all. I think there may be some truth to that, but
it is hard not to think of yourself. The
point here is that you are not to focus on self exaltation.
Most of us have a tendency to exalt self. We want to be recognized and appreciated and
exalted. Just look at a child who calls
out, “Daddy, look at me!” We want to be
seen and we want to be known and those desires are not necessarily bad. They become bad when we begin to exalt
ourselves over others and lift ourselves to a higher level of importance.
How do you avoid such a snare? Paul says to associate with the lowly. We are to go out of our way to make the
unimportant feel important. Why? Because they ARE important. They are so important that the Father has
numbered the hairs of their heads.
Francis Schaefer wrote a book a number of years ago entitled No
Little People. The book consisted of
a number of sermons, but I believe the title was a sermon unto itself. It tells us that, to God, there are no little
people. There are no unimportant
people. There are only those who are
made in the image of the God of the universe.
LOVING
THOSE YOU LOVE TO HATE
17 Never
pay back evil for evil to anyone.
Respect what is right in the sight of all men. 18 If
possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. 19 Never
take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is
written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 “But if
your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in
so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not
be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21).
It
is one thing to be told to love those whom you already love. It is another thing entirely to be told to
love those whom you love to hate. This
describes a supernatural love. It is the
sort of love that Jesus manifested when He went to the cross to die for those
who hated Him.
1. The Release of Revenge:
Never pay back evil for evil
to anyone. Respect what is right in the
sight of all men (12:17).
An assumption is made that bad things are going to
happen and that people will do you wrong.
The Bible is realistic about such things. It does not teach that once you become a
Christian that your life will get easier and everyone will be nice to you. What it does teach is how you are to act when
things go wrong. You are called to
release you desire for revenge.
Revenge has no place in the heart of a Christian. Before Paul taught this, Jesus said the same
thing in His Sermon on the Mount.
38 You
have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' 39 But I say to you, do not resist him who is evil; but
whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you, and take your shirt,
let him have your coat also. 41 And
whoever shall force you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away
from him who wants to borrow from you. (Matthew 5:38‑42).
If this sounds like pacifism, it is because it is, at
least insofar as it concerns the taking of revenge. The principle of revenge is to strike
back. The principle of Christianity is
to forgive.
This sort of response seems both naive and unrealistic
for today’s world. It sounded no less
naive and unrealistic in the world of the first century. But we are called to a supernatural standard because
we have been forgiven with a supernatural forgiveness.
2. A Pursuit of Peace: If possible, so far as it depends on you, be
at peace with all men (12:18).
Notice that it is not always possible to be at peace
with all men because such a stance does not always depend upon you. But when it does depend upon you, then you
are called to be at peace with all.
3. An
Allowance of God’s Justice: Never
take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is
written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord (12:19).
The Greek text says, “Leave room for the wrath.” The translators of the NAS have added the
phrase, “Of God,” but it is not a part of the original. They meant well and it must be admitted that
the context makes is clear as to whose wrath is being referenced.
Paul cites the Old Testament. The passage from which he quotes is
Deuteronomy 32:35. It is a passage that
teaches that God will one day balance the books. And it means that, if He is going to balance
the books, I no longer have to try to take things into my own hands.
4. A Response of Grace: But
if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for
in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head (12:20).
This is still another citation from the Old
Testament. In this case, it is taken
from the book of Proverbs.
21 If your
enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink;
22 For you
will heap burning coals on his head,
And the LORD will reward you. (Proverbs 25:21‑22).
The image of heaping burning coals onto the head of
one’s enemy has been interpreted in two different ways:
|
The
same Hebrew word for “burning coals” is used in Psalm 140:10. |
• A
Symbol of Judgment.
Used this way, the image is one of making the future
judgment of your enemy all the more severe.
On the one hand, were you to take your own revenge upon that same enemy,
then you would not be leaving room for the judgment of God to come upon him as
per verse 19. On the other hand, if you
treat his hatred with kindness, then God’s judgment against his unrighteous
actions toward you will be all the more severe.
• A
Symbol of Repentance.
It has been suggested that the heaping of burning
coals upon the head is the language of repentance, similar to one repenting in
dust and ashes. The problem is that this
particular term is not used elsewhere in the Scriptures to speak of
repentance. However, Egyptologist
Siegfried Morenz documents the ancient Egyptian practice of carrying a pan of
burning coals upon one’s head to symbolize repentance. [1] Similarly, 2
Samuel 13:19 tells of Tamar, the violated daughter of King David, placing ashes
upon her head as a sign of mourning.
Which is in view here?
I think it possible that they are both true and that both have
application to this passage. To the
unbelieving heart, these works of kindness bring a man to greater and greater
condemnation before the terrible wrath of God.
But in some cases, these same works of kindness bring about a burning
shame that melts a rebellious heart and that leads to repentance and a new
birth.
You remember the story of David and Saul. Saul had set out to murder David and he
pursued him throughout the length and breadth of
You are called to treat your enemy with kindness. There is a possibility that such kindness
will bring him to repentance. If this
takes place, you have lost your enemy and won a friend. On the other hand, if your enemy continues to
be an enemy of God despite your kindness toward him, then his future judgment
and condemnation is made all that much worse.
5. A Conquest with Good:
Do not be overcome by evil,
but overcome evil with good (12:21).
We are in a battle between good and evil. The temptation is to use the weapons of the
enemy against him. But the call of the
Lord is to overcome evil with good. That
is hard to do because it involves trusting in the Lord and leaving things like
vengeance and judgment in His hands.
In all of this, our example and our motivation is
Jesus. He is the One who overcame evil
with good. He is the One who showed us
love at a time when we were at enmity with Him.
He is the One who has brought us into a position of peace with God and
peace with one another through His own suffering and death that were wrought in
our place. How do I show real love to
the one I love to hate? I do it by
looking to Jesus who showed real love to me.
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