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A Husband's Perspective


my name is Gary, and I'm Cindy's husband. Cindy thought a husband's perspective might be in order, so here I am. First I'd like to say to all of you who have dealt with this, especially my wife, you have my utmost respect and deserve to be saluted and recognized! I thought that childbirth was a woman's most agonizing ordeal, but I was wrong. After personally witnessing, and being directly involved with someone who has this during their pregnancy, I would have to say this is the most difficult situation a woman can be put into in her life! Not only are they to deal with the normal day to day complications of being an expectant mother, but also having to be so sick, that in some extreme cases it is life threatening, as with my wife Cindy. I have to admit, I have never been so scared for my wife's life as I was then, and the bad thing about it was, that as her husband, my protection instinct could do absolutely nothing to prevent this or make it better. The only thing I could do is keep her head out of the toilet while she dry heaved till she was so weak she couldn't walk and take her to the hospital. There was a point in the first trimester that the doctor was just about ready to give me an ultimatum for Cindy's health or the baby, thank goodness she started getting better and actually started gaining some weight. I prayed many days and nights to The Lord to help ease her suffering..and in his time, God is good, and I thank him every day for giving my family to me, healthy and whole!! As we venture into the pregnancy path again, we have learned valuable lessons from the past. We KNOW this disorder is not in the woman's mind!!, we also know that there are numerous things out there for us to try should she get severely sick again, and finally we now know there are lots of other women who share a common bond and this I think will help the most knowing that they are not alone!!! For the men... if your wife begins to show signs of this, make sure you get a doctor's letter stating the severity of this condition and let your superiors know that you may need some time from work, as she will more than likely be spending some time in the hospital. Comfort her and DO EVERYTHING to make her comfortable, this often helped Cindy, as it delayed the trips to the emergency room for a bit. If you have other children, make sure you have some sitters you can call on short notice. Finally, your wife is going to be too weak and tired and probably not thinking clearly to discuss her situation with the doctor, be proactive, and don't just accept the doctors' word as gospel, she is your wife and you'll need to step up and make sure what the doctor says is the best thing for her, if we would have listened to one of Cindy's doctor's they would have had her committed to a mental hospital, so protect her from "doctors' guesswork", if they don't know what it is, find a doctor who has experience with this. Once again Ladies, and especially to the dearest woman to my heart, my wife Cindy, I pay you tribute for your courage to see it through.


Gary Evans

Read Cindy's HuGStory (Gary's wife)
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