sometimes you kind of remind me like that korn song. (*daddy*) like i'm a little kid.. and you.. you're just there, and i'm screaming, and no one can hear, and i just keep screaming and ...
well maybe not in that sense. its like theres this hold on me, and no matter who i want to love, i always go back to you. whats so fucking special about you? you're my best friend.. yet my worst enemy and i cry for you, because i wouldn't want to be you. if i were you, i wouldn't want me in love with you. .. i just keep screaming
and i whine..i remember i was telling beautiful blue eyed wonderful angel about you, and he and i made plans. him and i were going to get married and move to africa and take pictures. and we were gonna bring you, because thats when you told me you loved me. i never told you that though.
nowhe won't marry me, because the plans got all fucked up. who would want to marry me? i'm arrogant. i'm someone who i don't make myself out to be. laurel said that remember? please listen to her, laurel is always right..a butterfly princess with wings she'd stolen from someone else. why bring her into it? because she hurt me too, just like you did.
i know you didn't mean it to come out this way. its ok, i still love you. its always going to be you in my head, seeping in and breaking away any ounce of sanity i'm holding at the moment. you keep me sane by taking it away. i dreamt about you and flowers.. have i ever told you that? beautiful flowers, just for you and i, and we picked them all and we were holding hands. i woke up and remembered, 'oh yeah, you've changed your mind again'.
i wish it wasn't you, but you're beautiful. your eyes haunt me and your voice makes me laugh. you're absolutly amazing and i know you don't want to hear it, if you don't then why have you read this far? you're missing something, that could be amazing, just like you. i love you. i hate myself for it, but i do. i want you to love me back. i want us to be happy.. and if it means you're happy with someone else, or by yourself or whatever, fine.
but i can still rave and scream and pull out my hair, just like you used to do. i loved that you too. i loved iit because you were more like me, and i didn't feel like you were judging me. now i feel like i'm standing in front of you for a conviction everytime i talk to you. but your still beautiful. and i still love you.
i'm going to remember when nothing happened, when it was just you and me and that one day. days like that will happen again, but not with the innocence, and not with the purity,and not with the excitement. but i'm going to love you no matter what. even if you don't want me, even if you are angry, even if you run and hide..your my best friend and i love you.
