Funny SMS

A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says "can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man takes off his clothes & says "iron these!"

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Wots da closest thing to a womans period? ur salary! It cums once a month.lasts About 3 or 4 days & if it doesnt cum every1s in trouble!

*NEWSFLASH* A woman was found dead in her home 2day!She was discoverd in her bath tub which was filled with milk & conflakes.the police suspect a cerial killer!"

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*NEWSFLASH* Police r lookin 4 a suspect whos smart sexy witty & very gorgeous- they've already eliminated u from the enquiry (where do you think i shood hide?)

Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u?

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Uve got sex appeal.uve got style.uve got intelligence.uve got class.uve got the face & uve got the body & ive got the wrong number!

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Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!

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At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

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The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

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i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again!

MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN?

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Pls remind me 2 remind u about remindin me to send u dis reminder oh dat reminds me can u remind me wot the reminder was ive forgot!

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Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !". it didn't make much sense until i read it upside down...

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Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son.

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Mirror Mirror on the wall.Whos the fairest of them all?The mirror laughed & den it spat- It sure aint u.u ungly prat!