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ever go wrong, and yet somehow it does...
"Are you sure you're OK?" asked Melodee, who was truly worries for her friend.
"No, It's a whole 5 years gone, finished, " JC answered. "But what can you do?" he asked rhetorically.
"I know it's hard, But eventually you'll learn how to deal with and accept it," she said, trying to comfort him.
"Yeah, well," he said, the tears welling up in his eyes once again.
"DO you need anything?" Melodee asked.
"Yeah... I need her," he said choking back the tears. "I've gotta go, I'll talk to you later." And with that, their conversation ended.
JC lay the phone down on the receiver and rolled over. He buried his face into a pillow and let all of his feeling out. Feelings of frustration, anger, loss, and love.
That night...that fateful night. Although most of the events passed him in a blur, some still remained imprinted in his mind, and burning deep within his soul.
~FLASHBACK~
Erykah felt a chill when the midnight breeze blew through the trees. It was a beautiful May night. She and JC walked hand and hand down the barely lit, city street. They were destined to reach their apartment as fast as they could, for Erykah did not like walking in the city at that late of an hour.
"It's so pretty," said Erykah out of the blue.
"What is?" asked JC, stopping to look into her beautiful sea-green eyes.
"The sky," she said. She looked up at it once more. "Don't you wish that you could just fly up there and never come back?"
"No," answered JC abruptly.
"Why not?"
"Because I'd have to leave you." He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her full lips.
"You know just the right way to make a girl smile...how do you do it?"
"I have my ways," he confessed as he pulled her closer to him.
Erykah looked around her, and remembered that they were not alone in the streets. "JC, I think We'd better go home," she said.
"My thoughts exactly," JC answered as he let their embrace subside, and proceeded to walk down the duration of the street.
As they walked, JC looked over at Erykah inconspicuously. I have to ask her tonight... I just have to! he thought. He had been planning it all day, but he didn't know the right way to say it ... to express it.
Before long, they reached the front stoop of their apartment house. It's now or never! he thought to himself. He knew that if he did not go through with it now, he'd never build up enough courage to ever let the words leave his mouth again.
He stopped at the bottom step and looked at Erykah, who had already reached the top step. "Erykah," he managed to choke out through all of his fear.
She turned to meet him. "Yeah,"
He looked up at her, and into her beautiful green eyes once again. He had never seen her look so pretty. Her light brown hair fell against her face in such a way that he longed to run his fingers through it. Right then and there, despite all fear and angst, he knew that he was making the right decision...for both of them; he knew that she was the one.
JC walked up two of the remaining three steps and reached for her hands. Although she was one step above him, his extra height made up the difference. They could look right into each other's eyes; right into each other's soul's.
He took a deep breath. "Erykah, I have never felt this way about anyone in my whole entire existence. It's as if someone from up above came down to earth and blessed me with you." He clutched her hands tighter. "I Love you Erykah, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life."
He look a moment to look over her gorgeous being. Her smile shone like the sun. He could see the tears of joy already forming in her eyes.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is..." JC reached into his pocket, and while doing so, knelt down before her.
"Erykah, you'd make me that happiest man in the world if you'd be my wife. Will you marry me?" he said as he opened a little black box, revealing a heart shaped diamond ring.
She looked down at JC...the love of her life for 5 years. A wave of happiness came over her when the words left JC's mouth. She was positive she loved him, and knew that she'd never love another as much as she loved JC.
"Joshua Chasez," she said slowly. "It would be an honor to be the wife of someone as sweet, loving, and considerate as you." She pulled him up so that he was standing once again. "I love you Josh, and my answer is yes!" she exclaimed as she jumped into his arms. He placed the ring on her finger and bent down. Their lips met in a blaze of passion. They both felt as if nothing could go wrong in their world at that moment.
After what seemed like days, their kiss broke. He reached for her hand and led her into the apartment building.
After making it up a few flights of stairs JC and Erykah made it to apartment F2. Even before JC could close the door to their apartment, Erykah had started to kiss him. He was successful in closing the door, but he wasn't as successful in trying to make his way over to the couch. He broke away from her. "I think we'd better turn on the light," he said laughing.
"OK, you do that. I'll be right back," she said walking through the darkness and into their room. She removed her shoes, and let her hair loose. She looked into the mirror and smiled. She felt so beautiful tonight. This, by far, was the happiest night of her life.
Suddenly, there came a loud crash from the other room. Then came some muffled cries. Erykah immediately jumped up to see what the matter was. She ran from the bedroom, to the bathroom, through the hall, and into the living room. She reached the kitchen, and stopped dead in her tracks and screamed when her eyes laid on the sight in front of her. There, in the dimly lit kitchen, was JC struggling with another man.
"JC!" Erykah exclaimed in fear.
"Erykah! Get out!" he yelled through the haze of violence. "He has a gun!"
As JC yelled those last words, she caught a glimpse of the gun. The light reflected off of the in such a way that it sent a shock of fear through her.
JC had a hold of both of the man's wrists, trying to knock the gun out of his hands.
"Call the police!" JC pleaded. He looked as if he could not battle this man any longer.
Erykah could not move; she was frozen from shock. Tears of fear streamed down her cheeks. She didn't know what to do.
"Erykah! Now!" he screamed as the man over powered him. He managed to bring one hand around, and within a split second punched JC. He fell to the floor, and everything went black.
Erykah turned to run, but it was too late. She heard two large pops, and a surge of pain rushed through her back. Nothing had ever felt this painful before, and never was she going to feel anything this painful again. She fell to the floor also, paralyzed by the pain.
Although she could not see him, she knew that the man had fled the apartment, unharmed.
She watched the floor around her. The white linoleum was now stained with her own blood.
Where's JC? she thought. She had lost the strength to speak. What was she going to do? She needed help, and she needed it bad.
********
After what seemed forever, JC arose from the blackness. What happened? he thought. Why am I laying on the floor? All of s sudden, a flood of memories came rushing back to him. The stoop...the proposal...the intruder...the gun... Erykah...
Wait, Where is Erykah? He realized that he cold not see her. He rolled over and sat up.
That's when he saw her; there was a barely alive Erykah laying next to him in a pool of her own blood. That's when he looked up and saw them rushing in. The paramedics were there to aid them.
They lifted her onto the gurney. Her beautiful face was limp...lifeless. JC jumped up and ran over to the men wheeling her out of the apartment. "Erykah!" he yelled. "NO!"
All that happened after that escaped his memory. He remembered nothing until he sat down in the waiting room, eager to know what was to become of Erykah.
He placed the floor, not knowing what to do with himself. The doctors would not let him into the emergency room, and he hated them for that.
He felt worn out. He had not cried for about an hour or so, but that was only because he had no strength left to shed tears.
He glanced around the room, and at the other people in the room, all of them suffering as he was. Not knowing what was to happen to their loved ones.
A female doctor walked into the room, and at least 10 faces looked at her anxiously, including JC, wanting to know what the condition of their loved ones was.
She looked down at her clipboard, and then at the people. "Mr. Chasez,"
JC felt a jolt of fear run through his veins. "That's me." She signaled for him to follow her. She led him down the long hallway.
"Hello Mr. Chasez. I'm Dr. Taylor. Mr. Chasez, your girlfriend---"
"Fiance," he interrupted.
"OK, Your fiance. Your fiance was shot two times in the back. She was lucky; they just missed her heart. Your neighbor heard gun shots, and saw a man rushing down the stairs in your building. She discovered you both and called the police and the paramedics. they got to her but..."
"But what?" he asked, deathly afraid of that was going to be said
"But...we didn't reach her soon enough. She has lost a major amount of blood, and I'm afraid that she's not going to make it."
JC became hysterical. "What do you mean? She has to make it! Can't you give her a blood transfusion?" he asked almost screaming.
"Mr. Chasez, I'm sorry, but It's too late. The blood transfusion wouldn't help her now. She's lost too much of it."
JC felt the burning tears rush to his eyes once again. "Can I see her?"
"Yes, she has requested to see you. She is in room 93."
JC didn't even bother to say good bye. I have to get to her! he thought. He ran down the seemingly endless hall way, searching for his love.
He reached the back of the hall. There was the room. He stopped before entering to collect himself. He shut his eyes tightly, in effort to try to hold back the hot tears. ht knew he had to be strong in front of her, he just had to.
He walked into the cold, unfriendly hospital room, and saw her. His love. She was laying there, almost lifeless. He took a seat in the waiting chair next to her.
"JC," she said, looking into him.
"Shhh. Don't talk. You need your strength" he said, running his fingers down her soft cheeks.
"No, I need to talk. I'm sorry JC. I'm not strong enough," she said, beginning to cry once again.
"Don't say that Erykah! You did everything you could, there's no need to be sorry for what he did to you."
She winced as she shifted her position. "Yes, there is. I'm leaving you JC. I said I would never leave you and I am. I have every reason to apologize."
"No! Don't feel guilty! It is so not your fault!"
"I love you JC," she said through a surge of tears.
"I love you too Erykah. I love you more than life itself, and I'll never stop either," he said placing a small, soft kiss on her beautiful lips.
JC looked into her eyes...those deep, green eyes were calling to him. They were calling for help. She was scared. Scared of death, but mostly scared of leaving JC.
"JC," she said faintly.
"Yes my love,"
"I want to let you know, that I've loved you since the moment I saw you. My love for you has remained strong ever since that one day five years ago. When I leave this world, I will be leaving you in body, but not in spirit." She gripped his hand tighter than ever before. "I will always be there for you. I'll be watching you JC...in only through heaven's eyes. I love you JC, I'll love you forever."
He watched her chest rise and fall one last time. She was gone.
"No, Erykah," JC sobbed. "Don't leave me! Please! Don't leave me!"
~~END OF FLASHBACK~~
JC pulled the blanket over him. It still smelled of her...of Erykah. Everything in the apartment reminded him of her. I have to get out of here! he thought as he jumped up from the bed. He quickly put on his shoes and raced out of the apartment.
JC reached the street, and began walking. He walked and walked without direction. He did not have a destination, nor was he looking for one. He just needed to get away from it all.
After what seemed like an eternity, JC stopped and took a seat on a bench. He looked up at the sky. Erykah's words played over and over in his mind.
"Don't you wish that you could just fly up there and never come back?"
He looked down at the ground. Yes, I do Erykah. If that would mean being with you.
He looked up at the sky once more. He could not take his eyes off of the beauty of it, just as he could never take his eyes off of her.
The sky represented his love for Erykah in all ways. It sparkled like her green eyes, It was beautiful as she was, and mostly, it was endless, just as his love for her was.
As if my cue, a small shooting star raced across the night sky while JC watched teary eyed. He knew, then and there, that she was watching him, and she always would be, If only through heaven's eyes.
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