Past Lives

by: Azure Dragon

Warning: PG-13 Has a few references to f/f conduct

**

Stars, moonlight and the near by water fountains made a romantic 
combination. The warm gentle breeze ticked her hair ruffling the heavy 
curls. It was delicious. There was a soft sound in the air that was her 
breathing, as Sasha stared out over the water. Remembering all to clearly 
that one night. The one time she did something that hurt more then dying 
had. 

Rain had fallen and the world was still, as if holding it's breath and 
waiting for more.  Sasha was dressed in heavy jeans and a sweater, 
arms crossed and hair loose. She stood on the porch, watching with dark 
eyes as Raven prepared to leave. Again. It was something Sasha had 
seen a million times, but never tired of watching. The swift yet careful 
movements as the girl loaded her saddle bags. The way she checked her 
bike before swinging her leg over it. Watching her sit on the leather seat 
and take a moment to adjust to it. It was a beautiful thing. 

Raven turned her head and smiled slightly. " Keep looking at me like that 
and I'll be late." 

Sasha blinked and dropped her eyes. Stiffly she stepped off the porch 
and came over to the bike. It's gleaming body reflected starlight and 
made the whole scene seem like a dream. 

"So you're leaving for good this time?" Sasha asked dryly. Fighting to 
keep her voice level. 

"Seems like." Raven held her helmet in her lap. As if ready to either throw 
it away and stay or pull it on and disappear for good. " Unless I have a 
reason to stay?" 

Sasha pulled in a breath and looked into Raven's eyes. Dark, deep and 
holding a thousand secrets. All of which Sasha knew as if they were her 
own. Raven's black hair was thick and gleamed like the night sky. Even 
her skin, slightly pale because of the events leading up to this point, 
glowed with beauty. 

The word lodged it's self in her throat. It hurt so much to say, " No." 

"Sasha there is no shame in what happened. I know you don't believe 
me, but there isn't." 

"You can say that because that's true for you." Sasha's voice broke and 
she looked away. Hugging her arms to her even tighter she continued. " 
That's not true for me." 

Raven's hand was cool and soft as it brushed back loose curls. It was a 
feather against Sasha's cheek as she stared hard at that ground. 

"Don't blame yourself." Raven's voice was a soft whisper that chased 
through Sasha's senses. 

Reluctantly she looked up at her and couldn't look away. Starlight flowed 
through the dark blue eyes and sparkled like a million diamonds. Sasha 
drew in a breath and tasted the sweet vanilla perfume Raven always 
wore. The world fell away as she leaned forward and felt the brush of 
soft lips against her own. 

"No." Sasha pushed away and stood back a few feet. Her head swam as 
she looked anywhere but at Raven. " I hate it when you do that." 

Raven laughed softly. " I couldn't help myself." 

"You had better go." 

Raven sighed gently as she prepared to put on her helmet. "I love you 
Sasha." 

Staring into Raven's eyes, she almost believed her. "No you don't." With 
that Sasha turned away from her and never looked back. 

That had been five years ago and the pain was still fresh, the wound 
unhealed. Sasha Luna turned to look back into her uncle's house. It was 
quiet inside save for the whisper of a clock and the passage of time. Five 
years. It was a blink of an eye for her now. What was five years when 
you had forever? Sasha looked back into the courtyard and sighed. It was 
nothing. Her despair raged harder then usual tonight as she struggled 
with too many things. 

Tonight was beautiful and warm in the traditional way. It was a night for 
being out with your sweetheart, getting lost in love and never coming 
back. It wasn't a night for sorrow and grief. But it felt as though that was 
all she had now a days. Just her grief for all the things she had lost. All 
that in five years. What would it be like in a hundred? No wonder Uncle 
Julian was such a tight ass.  Her mind kept replaying different scenes and 
taunting her with things lost. But her heart kept aching and it wasn't just 
for that lost moment in time with Raven, it was for Cash too. As much as 
she tried to make it, her love for him refused to die. It refused to quit and 
just disappear. That was the pain that ate at her tonight. It twisted her 
and cut through her. 

"I have to see him." She whispered and knew then that it was true. 

Quickly moving through the massive house she made her way to the 
garage. Her bike rumbled to life when she pressed the button. It felt 
good to sit here and listen. She had asked Raven once why she just sat 
there for a moment. 

"It's to feel the bike. It may look like a hunk of metal and wires and sure 
on some level it is. But even metal has to be respected. Taking a moment 
to appreciate the sound and feel of the machine, isn't going to kill you." 

Sasha grinned as the memory played out. Nothing would kill her now. She 
was dead already. Guiding the beast out of the garage she went through 
the gates and into the night. Starlight guiding her as she raced toward 
the Haven. 

** 
As always the place was filled with Kindred and Human alike. At first 
Sasha saw members of her own clan and thought of leaving, then she 
saw Cash. He stood with his right profile toward her and was talking with 
a member of his Clan. She had forgotten the cut of his features, how 
sharp and clean they where. He was handsome. As she stood watching 
him, another night came to her. The night she had walked in here and 
acted so cool. It was the night she had danced with that son of a bitch 
Brujah. Just to make Cash jealous and to make him want her. Instead 
she had gotten a shit load of trouble and it was forever. 

Sasha gritted her teeth and pushed into the crowd. Making her way to 
the bar she sat on a stool and ordered a drink. The bartender knew her 
and gave her the 'right stuff'. Sasha stared too hard at the bar and 
twirled the glass in her fingers while she tried to gain her confidence. 

"Mind if I sit down?" 

"No." Sasha snapped and hunched even further in her on herself. 

"It seems to me, that is the only word you know around me." 

The scent of Vanilla Fields warmed the air around her. The weight of a 
presence that was familiar and made her tingle. Sasha turned very slowly 
to star into dark blue eyes filled with starlight. The full lips that were 
curled into a joyful grin. 

"You should see your face right about now." Raven teased lightly and 
sipped at her imported beer. Her gaze moving gently over the club. " This 
is a nice place you've got here. Down right classy." 

"It's not mine." Sasha muttered and kicked herself. " I mean, what are 
you doing here?" 

Raven flashed a wicked smile at a few people before turning her eyes 
back to Sasha. That smile had melted many a hearts and its effect was 
not lost on some of the club goers. Sasha frowned at Raven. 

"Oh alright." Raven faked annoyance and sighed. " I came here to 
vacation and just happened to hear about this place." 

"Vacation?" Sasha arched a brow. "Since when?" 

Raven waved her free hand. " Since...a while back." 

Sasha shook her head in resignation. Getting a straight answer from 
Raven was damn near impossible sometimes. Her gaze shifted to Cash 
and she couldn't help but feel anger. If only he had told her a straight 
answer. 

"You looked pretty pissed at him." Raven remarked as she causally 
regarded Cash. 

He took that moment to look over at them. His eyes showed surprise 
then concern then nothing. He flicked a glance at Raven and then turned 
back to his conversation. 

"He's cute...I suppose." 

"What do you know about it?" Sasha snapped angrily and sipped at her 
drink. 

"Hey, that wasn't called for. Just because I don't like men as intimate 
partners, does not mean I am blind to them. I can enjoy a good looking 
man as much as any woman." 

Sasha found herself smiling in spite of her mood. " You always did like my 
choices." 

"Only because it made you happy." Raven turned around fully in her seat 
and looked at Sasha. " He doesn't make you happy." 

"No. I mean he used to. But...it's just some things have changed and it's 
different now." Sasha found herself tripping over her words and shook 
her head. This wasn't like her at all. Where was the anger, the fire? 
Where was that rebel-rousing Brujah she had become? 

Gazing into Raven's face as she glanced around the club again, answered 
the question. It wasn't by choice or conscious action, but Sasha was 
affected by Raven. The way her voice carried and the expressions on her 
face. The way her hands moved as she tightened her grip on the beer. It 
was all so amazing. Sasha watched as her lovely face slid into a mask 
and the emotion disappeared completely. 

Sasha blinked and looked around, what was going on? The answer came 
in the form of a lovely woman with dark brown hair and brown eyes. The 
similarity in appearance between her and Sasha was uncanny. 

"There you are, I looking high and low for you." The girl came up and slid 
a single pale around Raven's shoulders. Leaning her thin body against 
Raven as she gazed at Sasha intently. 

Sasha instantly hated her and was surprised by her reaction. She moved 
to stand and got sight of Cash watching her again, there was something 
on his face. His expression made her pause and then feel strangely 
warm. He was curious but he was also jealous. Sasha had a very good 
idea of what was going through his mind at this moment. 

Raven stood, cutting off the view of Cash. " It  was nice to see you again 
Sasha." 

"You're not leaving already are you?" 

The girl leaned forward, as if to warn Sasha off. " Yes we are." 

"But Raven we need to talk about a few things. I need your advice on this 
new bike I want to purchase." 

Raven's expression shifted a micro inch, she was trying very hard not to 
grin. She said nothing as Sasha continued, glancing over at Cash. He was 
watching more closely now. 

"Would it be possible to meet up tomorrow afternoon?" Sasha glanced at 
the other girl and saw the anger there. 

"I don't see why not." Raven said very calmly. "Do you have a place in 
mind?" 

"My uncle's house," Sasha regretted it instantly but couldn't take it back. 
" Say noon?" 

Quickly she wrote down the address on a spare napkin and shoved into 
Raven's hand. Raven didn't take her eyes off Sasha as she smiled slightly. 

"Noon it is." 

The girl opened her mouth to complain, but Raven simply kissed her and 
pulled her away into the crowd. Sasha watched them leave and looked 
back at Cash. He was frowning slightly, not sure of what to make of it. 

In truth, Sasha didn't know either. What had possessed her to endanger 
Raven this way? Cash and Julian would not take kindly to a stranger in 
their home. Not right now anyway. 

For an instant she had forgotten the reality of her life, now she 
remembered all to well. Damn it anyway. 


Chapter 2

Raven gazed up at the monolithic house and whistled softly. It sure as 
hell didn't compare to the broken down two story she called home. Grand 
and marvelous, sweeping and huge, were words that came quickly to 
mind. Strangely enough the words sad and lonely also came. There was a 
cloud that hung around this place, something that tickled her skin and 
sent off her warning bells. She knew it was a bad place to be for too long 
and it made her wonder why Sasha was here. 

Standing before the cut glass door she knocked and felt her heart rate 
jump. How many times had she stood on a girls step and knocked. This 
time the door opened and her heart relaxed. 

"I am here to Sasha Luna." 

The man stepped aside and let her in. Raven took in the vast sweeping 
luxury of this one room and felt a sharp tingle go through her. She turned 
and recognized the man from last night. He didn't look pleased to see her 
and that concerned her. 

"Sasha will be down in a minute. Would you like to wait in the sitting 
room?" His voice was edged and harsh. 

"Lead the way." Raven followed after him and was taken back by the 
whole place. "This is some house." 

"Mr. Luna has good taste." 

Raven smiled slightly, " He sure does." 

The young man stopped short and turned on her. Raven didn't flinch at 
the look he leveled on her. She had had met up with former boyfriends 
who were angry with their girlfriends. But there was however something 
slightly different about him. 

"I don't know how you know her, but Sasha is his niece. She is family." 

"I hear you loud and clear lover boy." Raven held up her hands as he 
glared at her. " Just take a chill pill. I am here because she asked me to 
come." 

He spoke in a forced whisper. "Just keep your distance is all I am saying." 

Raven felt her good will vanish and her true self showed through. " I do 
what I like." 

He took a step toward. " Not with Sasha you won't." 

"That is between Sasha and I, not you." 

Raven was fully aware of the alarm bells screaming in her head. She was 
also aware of the rush that was filling her skin. The prickling wash of 
power and the full understanding of what she would do it he touched her. 

"Cash." 

He jerked his head up at the warning tone. " Lilly." 

"Julian wants you on business." 

He glared at Raven before stepping around her and stalking off. 

Raven slowly unclenched her fists and closed her eyes against the 
nauseating after-rush. Strong hands grabbed her arms and kept her from 
falling. She opened her eyes and stared into spring-blue depths and a 
radiant smile. The woman nodded to the door Cash had been leading 
them to and they entered. 

"I saw you at the club last night." Lilly said gently as she crossed to the 
mini bar. Quickly pouring a drink as Raven sat down in one of the chairs. " 
I haven't seen Sasha so animated in months." 

Raven regarded her with cool eyes. The woman was gorgeous; full 
figured, feminine, alluring and stylish. Her skin was the color of pure 
snow, eyes like summer skies and hair the color of golden cinnamon. 

"Yeah well, I have that effect on people." Raven said lightly. Keeping her 
tone level and steady. " So that was your place?" 

Lilly nodded as she came over and handed Raven the drink. " How do you 
know Sasha exactly?" 

Raven smirked. " We go back a while. 

The woman seated herself across from her and watched her closely. " You 
care for her don't you?" 

Raven concealed her surprise at the question by taking a sip of her drink. 
" Why do you ask?" 

"Anyone who is willing to stand up to Cash like that must have a reason." 
Lilly tilted her head to the side as she smiled. " I haven't felt a real 
psychic in years." 

The drink almost crashed to the floor as Raven was startled to her bones. 
She stood up and began to move quickly around the room. 

"I've upset you." Lilly watched her with out moving in her chair. " I am 
sorry, it was just an observation." 

"How'd you know?" Raven paused by the window and gazed out at the 
sunlight. 

"I know many things." Sadness coated her words. " I know something 
about you." 

Raven turned to face her. "Like what?" 

"You are here for Sasha." Lilly met her eyes. " You want her back." 

Raven smiled gently. " I never had her in the first place. What's your 
name?" 

"Lilly." 

"You look like one." Raven turned away and ran her hand through her 
hair. " So are you warning me off too?" 

"Unlike Cash I don't have any reason to be jealous. I am just concerned." 

"Why?" 

Lilly stood up smoothly and joined her by the window. " Because as 
splendid as love is, it can also be fatal." She looked very steadily at 
Raven. " You are prepared to die I can see it in you. But Sasha isn't. Don't 
drag her down with you." 

Raven gazed at her and smiled gently. " You are a very perceptive lady." 

"I am that." Lilly gave her a light smile. "Sasha will be here any moment." 

Just on cue the door opened and she walked in. 

Raven drew in a breath and was keenly aware of the warm glowing 
sensation that was filing her system. The burning tingle of joy and the 
complete and total loss of her senses. Her hands shook with the emotion 
and she could only smile. 

"I am sure you will have a good time bike shopping or whatever it is you 
call it." Lilly left the room and Raven drowned her feelings. 

"Shall we?" Sasha nodded to outside and Raven followed her. " Do you 
want to take my bike or yours?" 

"We'll have to take yours. I let Cleo have my bike for the day." 

The sunlight was warm on her skin as Raven crossed the open courtyard 
to the garage. The whispering of fountains and the song of birds. A 
beautiful day. She watched Sasha as she walked and felt like laughing to 
herself. She was hopelessly caught by this woman  and it was a 
hopelessly dead end. Oh well, her life was constantly like that. 

"Cleo seems nice." Sasha said carefully as she opened the garage door. " 
How'd you meet?" 

"She showed up at an Empowerment Ritual and then I punched her date 
out in a bar fight a few days later. She asked for my number at the next 
meeting." Raven didn't bother to keep the steel out of her tone. 

Sasha paused in the muted sunlight of the garage. " You are still head of 
that group?" 

"Yes. We even have a name now, the Summer Circle Coven." 

"You like your work with them?" Sasha asked causally as she perched on 
a nearby Jaguar. 

"I do. They are my friends." Raven gazed at the insides of a vintage car." 

Sasha watched her before she asked, "You don't love Cleo do you?" 

"I only have one heart to loose and I lost that years ago." Raven spotted 
Sasha' bike and grinned. "Still riding around on that old thing? No wonder 
you need a new one." She crossed to it and ran her hand over the 
familiar lines. "Feels like home." 

Sasha couldn't fight the blush that rose on her face. " So Cash really 
doesn't like you does he?" 

"You know about that? Then I guess you know the answer." Raven 
looked up at Sasha, her hands resting on the handle bars. " So?" 

"So what?" Sasha was uncomfortable with the heat in the garage as she 
stood staring at her bike. 

"What's with you?" Raven asked critically. 

"What does that mean?" Sasha felt anger rise and it helped battle the 
confused feeling in her head. 

"Sasha come on. Last night you deliberately baited the guy using me. 
What do you hope to get out me?" 

"I don't....I don't want anything from you." Sasha stammered and knew it 
wasn't true. 

"Yes you do or you would never have brought me here." Raven crossed 
her arms and regarded Sasha carefully. " Now what is going on?" 

It all hit her in that moment, she did want something from Raven. She 
wanted to be alive again, she wanted to take the spirit of her death and 
exchange it for life. She wanted....to be human. 

"You wouldn't understand." 

Raven dropped her arms and crossed to Sasha, her fingers lightly 
brushing back her hair. The warmth in the garage built up and this time 
Sasha didn't care. She let Raven explore her hair, at first lightly, as 
though expecting to be pushed away. Then more fully as no punishment 
came. Sasha trusted Raven as her hands worked expertly through the 
curls, not catching or tangling in them. She was careful and slow. Not like 
Cash who had been wild and fast. Raven's hands touched her shoulders 
and stopped. 

"Don't-" Sasha murmured. 

"Don't what Sasha?" 

She opened her eyes and realized that her hands had been following 
Raven's. They rested on the girls shoulders, tight and fierce as if afraid 
she would disappear otherwise. 

"Don't stop." 

Raven watched her carefully for a long moment. Her thoughts showed in 
her eyes as she considered and carefully rethought everything. Sasha felt 
a wave of need smash through her trembling insides and it seized her. 
She pulled Raven down and kissed her deeply Sasha's hunger rose up at 
that feeling of the warmth and she could taste Raven's life. Strong, vital 
and full of starlight. Sweet with magic and hot with the power that flowed 
in the girls blood. She was cool and hot at the same time. Innocent while 
being knowledgeable. It all tasted like vanilla and something stronger, 
something warmer. It was the taste of humanity. 

"Sasha..." Raven's tone was rough and heavy, " This isn't the best place 
for this you know." 

Sasha pulled away and realized she was right. It was not comfortable 
making out on a motorbike. Giving Raven a liquid smile, Sasha grabbed 
her hand and lead them out of the garage. Her feet stopped dead at the 
sight of Cash and two of his friends. Raven came up short behind her. 
Sasha felt Raven's hand tighten on hers and she drew Sasha close. 

"What?" Sasha snapped as her Brujah blood rose to the surface. "Don't 
you have an errand to do?" 

Sasha lead Raven past them and into the house. Once on the stairs 
leading to the second floor she stopped and turned to Raven. Tracing the 
shape of her face with both hands she smiled again. 

"What happened out there?" Raven asked softly. " There was a total 
change in you." 

"Later." Sasha grabbed her hand and hurried to her room. 

Once the door was securely locked she turned and once again regarded 
Raven. She stood in the room totally comfortable and watching her with 
guarded eyes. They had done this five years ago and Sasha had pushed 
her away. She had shattered Raven's heart and knew it. Now here they 
were again. Human, Kindred and they were a moment away from 
repeating themselves. Raven knew it and the information showed on her 
face. 

"Do you want to stop now?" Sasha asked quietly. 

"No, I never wanted to stop. Do you?" Raven kept her tone absolutely 
neutral. Although her desire made her words heavy. 

"I've always regretted that night." Sasha crossed slowly to Raven. Her 
hands tracing lines along Raven's arms, they kept still by her sides. " I 
have always wondered if things would have been different had I not 
pushed you out." 

"And your conclusion is?" 

Sasha gazed into dark blue eyes and grinned. " You'll have to remind me 
of what I gave up." 

A slow, wicked smile curled Raven's full mouth. " That I can do." 

The rush that came with the first kiss was enough to make Sasha dizzy. 
She tumbled into her need and drifted away on glowing clouds of pure 
joy.