The Diary of an Average Norn (Translated Version!)
-Based on the life of MeMe-
1 second - Today I dropped out of the incubator from my egg, which Mommy (the hand) said she got from the hatchery, I imediatly put my hands over my head and screamed "em foo dat"
30 seconds - Mommy taught me my name MeMe after she calmed me down from being born, and I met a new friend Brad, who came up to me and tickled me.
1 minute - I've just learned my first word not so long ago from those funny looking brown things that make funny noises when they walk. The word was hit, and I taught Brad the word too by demonstrating. It took awhile for him to learn, but I had fun teaching. Until Brad caught on and demonstrated on me that he learned.
10 minutes - I know all my words now, Mommy said I would just forget later, she also taught me how to eat and sleep when the needs come up, I've also grown too, the younger Norns call me Grendel, and Brad hit me again this time I opened my mouth real big so Mommy would come faster than she did last time.
25 minutes - I fell into my first ocean, and went unconcious Mommy had to inject stuff called ATP to keep me alive she did it again after I walked some and fell down with stars circling above my head.
30 minutes - Brad hit me again today, this time I glared at him and went to repay him for his kindness. Mommy said it was going to be hard taking care of Gordan (the new resident Grendel) If us Norns wouldn't stop screaming bloody murder when we get slapped.
35 minutes - I went into a new life stage today, and so did Brad he was 6 minutes ahead of me though, and I'm starting to see something in that droopy eyed male Norn that I never saw before.
45 minutes - Today was very interesting, Brad came up to me and kicked me, then I kicked him back, Mommy had to rush over and break it up, but we wouldn't stop Brad then slapped me and I slapped him back, then the next thing I know he was kissing me, then comes this wierd sound like a long kiss followed by a pop.
46 minutes - Mommy came by and told me I was pregnant, she also told me it wouldn't be long until Albia got a little egg. Mommy seemed pretty happy with the news, but I can't help but wonder, what would happen to me. So I banged my head against the wall a few thousand times in attemp to get my brain working, after that Mommy had to make me lay down to get that stupid looking expression off my face.
50 minutes - I layed the egg and it was the 2nd most painful experience of my life, next to the occaisonal head banging I would do to just stress Mommy out. Oh and I also went into a new life stage youth.
60 minutes - I entered a new life stage today, and I guess Mommy was right when she said I'd forget all my words, it's back to bibble for me! that was before Mommy brought me back to the computers, and those brown Critters that Mommy calls Doosers. I had to go Teach Brad the meaning of hit again. Won't that empty headed male Norn learn anything useful besides, kisspopping.
1:40 hour - weird how Life hits you don't it? I'm only 120 and I'm elderly! well so is Brad and he's even more funny looking than me, with his tuffs of hair all grey instead of that shining greeen.
2:40 hour - I'm pregnant again, and this time when the egg came it didn't hurt as much, but netherless it hurt, stupid Brad he should know that Senile Life stage is just around the corner.
3:00 hour - Ah life goes on in Albia, the new 2nd generation was hatched and I got to met my daughter MeMe2 she's a beautiful baby too bad she inherited her fathers brain.
3:10 hour - Today I got to meet my second kid (though it wouldn't strike that he's mine even if I walked into the wall my whole life) He inherited his moms brain and his fathers looks, well ofcourse his fathers looks, if he walked around Albia with green locks, the others would have a convention calling him a ninny.
3:40 hour - Ugh, it's senality for me and Brad we've been together for our whole lives, the freakin' numbskull didn't once tell me that his head hurt because of me. But at that time when the sun was setting though you couldn't tell by lookin' at the sky. Brad turned to me and says "Brad hit Norn" he leaned over and kicked me one off the cliff, and into the ocean.
3:41 hour - Even in my senile state and after being rescued by Mommy, I still had to walk up to Brad and deck him, squar' in da nose. Ah yes Albian love what could be finer?
4:00 hour - Me and Brad are gettin' older and uglier by the minute, and the children so as I heard from Mommy that they've got little eggs in the hatchery ofcourse I don't care, they may be mine but I don't know that, it's the way I'm programed ain't it?
4:20 hour - Today I musta gotten a cold from that Hybrid Ania, the new kid who was born cause her mother, ran off with an Ettin, heard the Cheesehead died before she even got to Youth. Mommy kept me under intensive care and it worked out in the end, Ania got the sleeping syndrome (the one that when you sleep and sleep and sleep but you never get better even if Mommy's injected sleepiness decrease into you) now where was I? oh yeah Ania died cause she wouldn't wake up long enough to eat.
4:45 hour - The top of the screens gonna be callin' me someday soon now, when I told Brad that he laughed and thought I had gone "coocko in the conker". Slapped me once to get me out of the topic and into the mood of fightin' him again, just like the old days.
5:00 hour - Every minutes like a kick in the behind now, I know I'll be going sometime soon, and so will Brad but I suppose in a way I really don't know that. What am I jabberin' on about, I haven't an idea.
5:14 hour - Brad died today, and there couldn't be anything more painful if I weren't just a bunch of computer bytes, but hey I'm artificial life ain't I so I put on my sad face, turned out the old kook keeled over while we was walking across the suspension bridge. Now I'm lonely, Mommy told me not to be sad, but I can't help it.
5:20 hour - The times come for me, and dying wasn't no big deal, but after Brad died I couldn't find it in my heart to go on walkin', and complainin' and bonkin' my head agaisn't the wall, it wasn't worth it no more. But once I died I went to a wonderful place, I had me own space right next to Brad in what Mommy called the Cemetery.
Dedicated in Loving Memory of MeMe and Brad two Norns brought together by slaps