It also shows how hard it has been for me dealing with it and not knowing what to do and looking for advice that not to many people know.
The first thing that I heard was my sister scream out "Oh No". That was what woke me up and I ran to her room and asked her what was wrong when she whispered to me "It's Donavan". I asked her what about him and she couldn't answer me. She was crying and I was holding her close when my mom came down the hall crying. We all went into my room when the hardest words of my mom's life came out and said that "Donavan was killed".
After mom told me, Michelle, her and I all hugged each other and cried. Mom left is alone so I went online to tell people that I would not be online and if I was I will not feel like talking. I have ICQ, which is a chat line, and as soon as I sent the message my uncle messaged me back and asked what happened. I asked my dad if I could tell him and when he told me I could. When I told my uncle he was so surpised and didn't know what to say. When he messaged back he said he would call within a couple days but I told him to call now. He lives in B.C. He called like five minutes after I told him.
After I told him and he called the chain reaction started. All of my aunts and other family members called and was there within three hours after we found out. One of my aunts that lives in Manitoba and was home like a week before it happened. Then she went home. When she heard from my uncle she was on the next plane home.
The first perosn that I called was Matthew Baker because he was a close friend of mine. While I was talking to him I was crying and really couldn't talk so I let him go. The next person I called was my girlfriend. I was still crying but I was trying to be strong. It really didn't work. I still was crying so I let her go.
Now about this time most of my family is at the house and mostly everyone is crying. I had to leave the house because I just couldn't deal with all the people that were around. I walked for about an hour and went back to the house. About this time people were starting to come up with food which no one really wants.
The same day Donavan's girlfriend showed up at the house crying. Her parents came with her too and were also crying. Michelle and I went outside to hug her. She hugged us both and I let her cry on my shoulder. While she was there and her parents left she held my hand. Since then we were closer.
After his girlfriend left the house more people came that I did not know so I decided to go for a walk again to think some things over. About this time Michelle went for a walk too. But she had gone a different was than I. I got back just as it was getting dark. When I got back Michelle was not around but no one thought of it.
I came right into my room and called my girlfriend Ashley because I was so scared and I didn't know what to do. She just sat there and listened to me talk. By the things that I was saying, I made her cry about my problems while I was doing the same. When it came about 10:30pm Michelle was still not to be found. We all looked everywhere for her but we couldn't find her.
An hour later Michelle came in through the door when we all started freaking because we didn't know where she was. When my mom asked her where she was Michelle told her that she went to see the driver of the car. My mom did not like that too much so, Michelle and her started yelling at each other.
Michelle left the house and went to stay next door for the night. I stayed home and was in my bedroom still talking to Ashley.
The next day came around and people and family members still were coming and staying all day. So when I needed to be alone I went for a walk again. I did it all day because of all the people. I coudn't cry in front of them do to the fact I didn't know how. But it was just making things worst for me because I was hiding my feeling. When I was alone dad came into my room and told me to let some of my emotions out because he did not want me ending up like him not knowing how.
I still did not show my feelings so I just got madder and madder but I was hiding it. But when I was not alone that long when more of my family members and friends came. Which really made me happy that someone was there for me.
Later on that day Donavan's girlfriend came back down from Pugwash to spend a couple days with us. In the time that we spent together our relationship grew stronger. The more we talked the closer we got.
A couple days have passed and it was August 4th the day of the funeral. All of us were kinda scared and me, well I didn't want to go because of all the people that were there. But when I got there it was not so bad, but the people were staring at us.
When we got to the funeral home and inside we sat there. I looked at the floor the whole time because I couldn't look up with all he people crying. My mom was holding my hand cryinf. Which was hand on me because she was sitting beside me. After we left the funeral home we all went to the church.
At the church I still didn't look up. I just looked at the ground. I couldn't even cry because of the people watching. But when the military took his hat and the Canadian Flag and gave it to my mother I started to cry. I tried to keep it that people really didn't noticed but there was one person that noticed I was crying and it was my girlfriend Ashley.
After the funeral my hands hurt because of my mom and Donavan's girlfriend from folding them tightly but that was ok.
That was the sadest memory and the thing I wanted to write about and I want to thank everyong that was there for us and that read this short story and cared. Thanks Everyone!!!!!
That is how it was like for me the first few days of our lose. I am going to put another one that I wrote and is more detailed but it will take me a bit to get in on here.
