I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. She told me she didn't know how to cook them.
This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"
A blonde walked into a hardware store, picked up the hinges she was looking for, and went to go pay for them.  The clerk asked her,"Need a screw for those hinges?" "No, but how about a blow job for the shovel in the back?"
Another blonde sent a post card home: "Having a wonderful time....Where am I?"
Did you hear about the blonde that was so stupid that she played third string at a car wash?
How is a blonde like a Hairdryer?   Turn her on and she starts to blow.
How is a blonde like a Vaccum Cleaner?  Turn her on and she starts to suck.
How is a blonde like a Light Switch?  Even a six year old can turn her on.
Blonde Medical Terminology : A : Anally -- occurring yearly, Artery -- study of paintings.
Blonde Medical Terminology : B : Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria, Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails, Benign -- what you be after you be eight, Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U
Blonde Medical Terminology : C : Caesarian section -- district in Rome, Cat scan -- searching for kitty, Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her, Colic -- sheep dog, Coma -- a punctuation mark, Congenital -- friendly
Blonde Medical Terminology : D : D&C -- where Washington is, Diarrhea -- journal of daily events, Dilate -- to live long
Blonde Medical Terminology : E : Enema -- not a friend
Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates were cheaper than day rates?
Did you hear about the blonde who was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy cat?
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Did you hear about the blonde who thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease?
Did you hear about the blonde who thought that a sanitary belt was a shot from a clean whiskey glass?
Did you hear about the blonde who thought that intercourse was a state highway?
Did you hear about the blonde who had more on her body than on her mind?
BLONDE:  "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"MAN:  "It's 3:15."BLONDE: (puzzled look on her face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing,I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
MALE SECRETARY: "Feel free to use my dictaphone."NEW BLONDE EMPLOYEE:  "No thanks, I'll just use my finger like everyone else."
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park.  The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
Confucious say: blonde who fly upside down have crack up
Blonde Medical Terminology : F : Fester -- quicker, Fibula -- a small lie
Blonde Medical Terminology : U : Urine -- opposite of you're out
Blonde Medical Terminology : V : Varicose -- located nearby, Vein -- conceited
Why does a blonde wear panties??     To keep her ankles warm
What did the blonde say when asked if she wanted to be a Jehovah Witness?	Gee, I didn't even see the accident.
What do you get when you have 20 blondes in the freezer?	Frosted Flakes.
What do blondes and computers have in common?	You don't know how much you appreciate them until they go down on you.
What's a blondes favorite drink?	The next one.
Why do animals put their noses in blondes crotch?	Because they can.
What did the postcard from the blonde say?	Having a great time.  Where am I?
How does a blonde turn on the lights after sex?	She opens the car door.
What do you call a brunette between 2 blondes?	The interpreter.
How many big busted blondes does it take to change a light bulb?	As many as you can get.
What's the difference between a blonde and a puppy?	After six months a puppy stops whining.
This blonde was so dumb -  that she had to take off her blouse to count to two.
The most expensive thing in the world is a blonde - who is free for the night.
Why did GOD invent Orgasms?	So blondes will know when you're through.
Why are women amazing?	They give milk without eating hay, bleed without being cut and bury bones without digging holes.
This blonde is so dumb  -  She doesn't realize that you can play the AM radio in the afternoon.
Why don't blondes take hot showers?	It fogs up the mirrors.
Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?	So they don't hurt themselves when they talk (move head sideways).
How do you drown a blonde?	Put a mirror in the bottom of the pool.
Why did the blonde get turned down for auto insurance?	She was getting rear-ended too much.
How do blondes hold their liquor?	By their ears.
Why don't blondes play frisbee?	It hurts their teeth.
Why are blonde jokes so short?	So blondes will understand them.
What do you call an intelligent blonde?	A Golden Retriver.
What does a blonde say after you blow in her ear?	Thanks for the refill.
Why don't blondes take coffee breaks?	Because it takes them too long to retrain them.
What does a blonde say after sex?	Are all of you on the same team.
What does a blonde say after finding out she's pregnant?	Gee, I hope it's mine.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?	Gifted.
Why do blondes wear green lipstick?	Because red means stop.
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?	Because you can park in the handicapped spots.
Why do blondes wear panties?	To keep their ankles warm.
Why do blondes wear so much hairspray?	So they can catch all the things going over their head.
What is a blonde's mating call?	I'm so drunk.
What is a brunette's mating call?	Are all the blondes gone.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?	Tell her a joke on Thursday.
Why do blondes have T.G.I.F. on their shoes?	Toes Go In First!
Why did the blonde have square boobs?	She forgot to take the kleenex out of the box.
How do you put a sparkle in a blondes eyes?	Shine a flashlight in her ear.
What is the most used 4 letter word by a blonde?	NEXT!
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?	One, she holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her
Between which two toes is a girl the most ticklish?	The two big ones!
Why did the blonde go to Hollywood?	She wanted to make love under the stars.