Okay, a gay couple and a lesbain couple are flying from LA to Chicago, who gets there first?     The lesbians get there lickety-split, while the gays are still packing their shit!
Did you hear about the 3 gays who attacked the women?      Two of them held her down while the third fixed her hair!
A best friend is someone who will go to town, get two blow jobs and bring you one back!
A drunk guy walks into a bar.  He looks to the left and says "You're all a bunch of assholes".  Then he looks to the right and says "you're all a bunch of queers".  Suddenly, a man on the left side of the room jumps up  starts to run to the other side of the room.  The drunk guy roars, "where do you think you're going".  To which the man replies, "i'm on the wrong side of the room".
Did you hear about the homosexual electron?    Went around blowing fuses.
Did you hear about the two homosexual judges?   They kept trying each other.
Did you hear about the homosexual letter?     Only came in mail (male) boxes.
What do you call fifty lesbians and fifty goverment employees in one room?     100 that don't do dick!
Did you hear about the two lesbians who bought an organ so they could play hymns?
There once were two queers of Khartoum, Who went for some fun in a room. They got into bed, And one of them said: "Who does what, with which, and to whom?"
Two fags are standing on a bridge watching ships pass by underneath them- One says to the other-"What kind of ship is that?" "Container ship." "OK, what's that one over there?" "Oil Tanker." "How about that one?" "That's a ferry boat." "Really? I knew we were strong, but I never knew we had our own NAVY!"
A young army private is home on leave. He is talking to his dad about his experience at jump school while learning to be a paratrooper. "Dad" he says, "on my first jump, I froze up at the door on the plane. A big black sergent standing behind me told me that if I didn't jump, he was gonna cram about 12 inches of dick up my ass" "Well did you jump?" asks his dad. "Just a little at first" answered the boy. 
Little fairy goes into a bar and shouts "ANY BODY IN HERE GUESS WHAT I GOT IN MY POCKET AND I'LL SUCK HIS DICK" Big bastard from the back of the bar shouts "ELEPHANT" Queer says "CLOSE ENOUGH" 
What do you call a fag that doesn't have aids? A lucky cocksucker.
How many fags does it take to change a light bulb?     Three. One to change the bulb, and the other two  to stand back and go OOOOOHH.
Did you hear about the two queer lawyers? Called themselves    legal-aids.
What do fags call hemeroids?   Speed bumps.
Why don't fags suck off clowns?   They taste funny. 
Did you hear about the three fags sitting around in a hot tub? Big load of jism floated up to the top. One fag says "OK who farted?"
Did you hear about the fag bank robber?    He tied up the safe and blew the guard.
What is the favorite pick up line in a gay bar?   Push in your Stool!
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?     A fruit stand.
What do you call two lesbians wearing flannel shirts paddling a canoe?    fur traders.
What do you call an open can of tunafish on a lesbians coffee table?   Pot Pourri
How can you tell if a congragation is gay?    Only half are kneeling 
What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?    They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!
What do you call two lesbians wearing flannel shirts paddling a canoe?   fur traders.
How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?    All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
What's the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo?    At a straight rodeo everyone yells, "Ride that sucker"
A college kid says to his friend, "I fucked my roomate in the ass last night."  His friend says, "No shit?" He says, "A little." 
Do you know where the men's room is?    I drank too much, can you give me a ride home?
3 fags sitting in a bathtub, one farts, which one?   The rear one.
What do you call two wizards in bed together?   Poof.
Have you heard about the gay sperm whale?    He bit the head off a submarine and ate the seamen.
How do you pacify a gay baby?    Shove a dummy up its ass.
What do you call a gay dentist?    A tooth fairy.
What's the difference between a fagg and a microwave?    A microwave won't brown your meat.
Where’s a poof and a lesbian living in the same house.  One day it catches fire.  Who got out first?  The poof, ‘cos his shit was already packed.
What don’t you say in a gay bar?    Hey mate, can you push my stool in?
