You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You kiss you girlfriend's home page.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your eyeglasses have a web site burned into them.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap....and your kid in the overhead compartment.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3...
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - your night dreams are in HTML.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You turn your modem off and get this awful epmty feeling, like you just pulled the plug of your loved one.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au"
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your heart races faster and beats irredgularly each time you see a new WWW site address printed on the TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You step out of the room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have any idea when it happened.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You turn on the intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if e-mail arrives.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You wife drapes a blond wig over the monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - All of your friends have an @ in their names.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted purple.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your dog has its own webpage.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You've visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos. or [C]ontinue?
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You can't call your mother because she doesn't have a modem.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You believe nothing looks sexier than a man in boxer shorts illuminated by a 17" svga monitor.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You check your mail. It says "no new Messages." So you check it again.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You refer to you age as 3.x.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You have comandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your phonebill comes to the door in a box.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on your favorite IRC Channel.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You code your homework in HTML and give your intsructor the URL.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You don't know what sex is over three of your closeset friends are, because they have nuetral nick names and you never bothered to ask.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your husband tells you he's had the beard for two months
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games form Apogee.t, or [C]ontinue.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You move into a new house and decide to netscape before you landscape.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You tell the cab driver you live at Http://123.elm.street/hose/bluetrim/html
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your virtual girlfriend finds a new sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your IRC channel.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You buy a Captain Kirk Chair with a built in keyboard and mouse.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer can not come to bed"
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You are so familiar with the WWW that you find search engines useless.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 1.1 or higher."
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You never have to deal with the busy signal when calling your ISP...because you never log off.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You put a pillow case over your laptop so your lover doesn't see it while youre pretending to catch your breath.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You ask a plumber how much it would cost you to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You forget what year it is.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You ask a doctor to implant a gig in your brain.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind ... the perfect soundtrack to "surfing the net"
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited"
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.