Jokes & Quotes ~ Page 6
Jokes & Quotes
~Page 6~

Computer users, Click Here MSNTV viewer
to view as WebTv.

Gee thanks cousin Ronnie and Donnie. Glad you got our guest to page 6 of our "Jokes & Quotes." We have quit a few lined up so what do you say we get started.

~ 1 ~ Joke

We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, our 3-year-old ran in to our bedroom to wake us up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us.About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy,Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells - and they all work!"

~ 2 ~ Joke

MISSING SUNDAY SCHOOL

The local pastor noticed that Little Johnny hadn't been to Sunday school in a long time.

He was not surprised that Johnny's parents had not been to church in a month of Sundays, but it was unusual for Johnny to miss Sunday school for so long.

He went to Johnny's house and knocked on the door. Little Johnny answered the door, took one look at the pastor and called to his father, "Hey, Dad! That guy that works for God is here!"

~ 3 ~ Joke

Helpful Baby

It was one of the worst days of my life: The washing machine broke down, the telephone kept ringing, my head ached, and the mail carrier brought a bill I had no money to pay. Almost to the breaking point, I lifted my one-year-old into his high chair, leaned my head against the tray, and began to cry. Without a word, my son took his pacifier out of his mouth and stuck it in mine.

~ 4 ~ Quote

I have had dreams, and I have had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams"

~ 5 ~ Joke

Having just finished reading a story to my sixth-grade class, I decided to check the student's knowledge of some of the vocabulary that had been used.

"Who knows what the word 'adolescent' means?" I asked.

Out of the entire class of 35, not one child raised a hand. After a few more silent moments, I decided to give them a hint: 'Adolescent'- it's something all of you are, and I am not."

Finally one boy tentatively raised his hand, and in a very soft voice said, "Virgins?"

~ 6 ~ Joke

Dead Cat Test

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.

"Dead." She was informed.

"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in his ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher squealed in surprise.

"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'pssst' and he didn't move."

~ 7 ~ Joke

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"

A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.

"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.

"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "

~ 8 ~ Joke

One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.

Daughter answered "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilts".

Needless to say, mom was perplexed.

Later in the day, Pastor stopped by for tea. Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.

He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming".

Now it made sense.

~ 9 ~ Joke

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a goodnight story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. Then, she would touch her own cheek, thoughtfully. Finally she spoke, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago." "Did God make me too?" she asked. "Yes, indeed, honey," he answered. "God made you just a little while ago." She touched his face and then her own again. "He's getting better at it, isn't He?" she said ...

~ 10 ~ Joke

It was Palm Sunday, and the mother's 3 year-old son had to stay home from church because of strep throat. When the rest of the family returned home carrying palm branches, the little boy asked what they were for. His mother explained, "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by."

"Wouldn't you know it," the little boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, and Jesus shows up".

~*~

Well good friends, we have come to the end of page 6. Time to move on to page 7. If you would like to follow my brother Blu, he is heading right over there. Or, you can click on to "Next" right under my guest book. You will be beamed up before the blink of an eye. :)

~My Other Pages~

Next
Previous
Index
Welcome Page
HOME