More mindless addiction from Spelling dynasty
Just when viewers - aside from fans of business channels - forgot the meaning of ``filthy rich,'' along comes Titans, the prime-time soap in the tradition of Dynasty and Dallas. All crass and no class, this entry from Aaron Spelling, generator of the aforementioned Dynasty, must have something to do with the return of the shoulder pad. How else to explain the '80s excess? Titans stars the adorably untalented Casper Van Dien (Starship Troopers) as fighter pilot Chandler Williams, the adopted scion of gabillionaire Richard (perennial miniseries star Perry King), who is divorced from trendy nightclub-owning Gwen (Dallas' Victoria Principal - and funny how her marriage to a cosmetic surgeon doesn't look that good on her). She lives in the mansion across the street with her two daughters, the I-drink-because-I'm-rich-and-beautiful Jenny (Elizabeth Bogush) and the pert-nose-to-the-grindstone Laurie (90210's Josie Davis). Their scheming blood brother Mason (gay icon John Barrowman) bunks in with dad, where he comes on to secretary Samantha Sierras (NYPD Blue's Lourdes Benedicto), who is the daughter of the maid who grew up gorgeous, smart and in love with Casper. The adorable Casper has finally returned to join the family conglomerate only to discover that the gold-digging fox, Heather (Baywatch's Yasmine Bleeth) - whom he recently slept with while on furlough - will become his lawfully wedded stepmom as well as the mother of his yet-to-be-born baby. Cue the musical beds, catfights, backstabbings and Cosmo Girl tart outfits. It would all be pretty funny if it boasted any irony. Instead, it's just laughable, admittedly in a compelling way. Like Doritos. You know they're bad for you, you know they're going to leave your fingers all gooey, you know you're going to regret eating them. But still you crunch away. That's why Titans, whose only real competition is the family oriented Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, could score a solid share of low-IQ and/or high camp-seeking viewers.
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