If you thought Dynasty or Melrose Place were bad to the bone, buckle your seat belt. Titans has mo' money, mo' sizzle, mo' sex, mo' campy plotlines and mo' trouble brewing than Amanda Woodward plotting on a bad hair day.

And you thought nothing could fill the void on Wednesday nights.

In this prime-time celebration of cutthroat family values, prodigal son and Top Gun fighter pilot Chandler Williams (Casper Van Dien) returns to the family fold to join his father's multibillion-dollar corporation and meet dear old dad's new fiancée, Heather (Yasmine Bleeth).

Only--gasp!--it turns out a clueless Chandler already gave the bride to-be a very warm Williams-family welcome (if you catch our drift) a few months earlier while on leave in Hawaii. And that's just the show's first five minutes.

Why It Works: Spelling understands a basic fact of life: People without money want to believe that being rich is a huge pain in the ass. (If this is not true, life really wouldn't be fair, and there'd be nothing good on TV.) And as one of Hollywood's biggest moguls, Spelling is perfectly happy to perpetuate the myth that million-dollar mansions equal Big Trouble.

Plus, the fireworks between ex-wife Gwen (Victoria Principal) and soon-to-be-bride Heather are bound to be fierce and fabulous. One actress is pure old-school Spelling, an emblem of '80s excess. The other comes from the greatest jigglefest not created by Spelling, Baywatch. We haven't been this excited about a catfight since Krystle and Alexis took a tumble into the fishpond.