The Aftermath

Disclaimer:

ANIMORPHS was made up by Katherine Alice Applegate, and characters are owned by KA Applegate and Scholastic and whoever else owns the rights. The part that is from Anne McCaffery's "Dragon singer" is used without any permission, and I'm crediting her with it right now.

Rachel stared at the computer screen in front of her.

"Rachel?" Cassie said softly. No response.

"Rachel!" Jake yelled. Still no response.

Marco came up. "Any luck?" He asked, though by the look on their faces he knew there wasn't any. He sighed. Rachel had always been annoying, with her sarcastic comments, but now-when she was silent-was the worst of all. Ever since the last battle...

He exhaled silently. No one and nothing was able to pierce Rachel's armor. It had been going on for ten months now. Cassie, Jake, or himself always had to be by her side, forcing her to eat, bath, and sleep. Not even he could make a joke about her quietness.

Not that Marco didn't blame Rachel for being like this. They all had been depressed for a while after that last battle...Marco had lost his mother, Jake his brother, and Cassie, her father. With the realization that the yeerks had lost Planet Earth, something of them had been lost. Not just the obvious. Ax had gone back to the andalite home-world, in dishonor. AX had been blamed for giving the humans the power, even though Elfangor had, and saved Earth by it. Ax would be "forgiven" and go back to his training if for one condition: the humans never morph again. Never use the power. Marco gave a snort. The high-and-mighty Andalites had disgraced the best warrior on their planet. He, Cassie, and Jake used the power sometimes, discreetly, and much more rarely then they had when they were teens. He sighed.

8 long years had passed since they'd received the power. To morph. To become any animal they could choose. And almost a year ago, the need had stopped. The yeerks had been driven from Earth. But two billion people had died. Mostly human controllers... though some innocent people. And a billion more had gone insane from the freedom...or just the loss of family. Again, mostly former human controllers...though some free ones. And two members from their tiny group had each gone down one path. Rachel to the insane path. And Tobias to death.

The final battle...Marco closed his mind to it. He didn't need to put the pressure on Jake and Cassie to take care of him too. Jake and Cassie had gotten married about 8 months ago, after they'd all adjusted to their new life. They let Rachel move in with them, and then asked him. More for the sake of having someone else help take care of Rachel, he supposed, then having a "friend around to help out" as they put it. And he'd probably need to help out even more, seeing as Cassie was in the final stages of pregnancy.

"Marco!" A shout penetrated his thoughts. It was Jake.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Cassie isn't feeling too good. She wants to go lie down. Can you watch Rachel for us?"

As if she were a two year old, he thought. What he said was "Sure, buddy." He walked over to where Rachel was sitting. "So, Rachel, how's the computer game going?"

No answer.

"Say, what game is that? Jezzball?"

No response.

"What level are you up to? 10?"

Nothing that would give even a hint that she had heard him.

"RACHEL!" He yelled right in her ear.

Nothing.

Marco was sick and tired of this. He hated just seeing Rachel sitting there, her blond hair limp, her face pale, her blue eyes completely focused on the game and nothing else. One thing that irked him the most was that Jake and Cassie had ordered to NEVER say the name, Tobias, in Rachel's presence, thinking it would hurt the open wound. He had tried everything else. Now, if this last try didn't work, nothing would.

"Rachel," he whispered. "I know you are feeling bad about Tobias." At the mention of the boy's name, Rachel sat up straight and looked at him. Like she had never seen him before. "Tobias wouldn't have wanted you like this. You have got to wake up."

Rachel stood up, glaring at him. Marco gulped. He had grown taller since becoming an Animorph, but Rachel still towered over him. "What did you say?" she asked.

"I said that Tobias wouldn't have wanted you like this." Marco said, half glad that his plan had worked, half frightened by this girl.

"Like WHAT?" she asked.

"Like the living dead."

"You would be like the living dead too if someone you...you LOVED died! And you were helpless!" Rachel's voice had rose higher until the last word was almost a shriek. "Tobias DIED! I couldn't help him. Jake couldn't."

"Rachel," he said softly. "I had to kill my own mother." She looked around the room, disbelieving, her face as blank as it had been before until her eyes locked on Marco's,and he could see the emotion, the memories Rachel had locked up break down the barrier she had made from the look of horror on her face.

"He died...She died...they died...Sara!" she called. "Where are you?...She died too. She's not here." She looked around her. Then her gaze fell on Marco. "Get away. GET AWAY!!!!!!" she yelled at him. At the same time, her cousin's voice filled the air.

"Marco! Come in here! Cassie's in labor!"

"But she's not due..." he counted rapidly. The baby was a month premature. He ran into the room, leaving Rachel sobbing hysterically on the bed in her room.

"Tobias...Sara...MOMMY!" she called piteously.

Marco had no idea what had happened. He never had blamed Rachel for being in such an awful state...She had lost both her mother and her youngest sister...and her other sister had moved to where their dad lived...to get away from the memories...but what had been the hardest, he knew for Rachel, was that Tobias had died. They had always been the closest...even closer then Jake and Cassie. Not only by being good friends...not even by being boyfriend-girlfriend. Everyone in the small group of Animorphs had formed a bond...but Tobias's and Rachel's had been even closer then the others. Marco supposed part of it had been when Rachel was helping him through the hardest stage of Tobias's life-adjusting to being a bird. He shook his head and ran into Cassie's room, trying to clear his mind.

How could this have happened, I ask myself. How could Tobias, Sara...my mom, my cousin Tom...Melissa's parents...How could they all be...DEAD?

I feel so awful. If only I could have not gotten into that fight with the three hork-bajir and instead gone to protect Tobias. His leopard morph, while swift and deadly, was not enough. The added help of a grizzly could have stopped the fatal blow...He could still be alive...If only...

How can Cassie and Jake be so happy together? Cassie's father is dead...Jake's brother...How can life go on, with so many people dead?

I look wildly around the room. It looks a bit like my old room...there is a TV and computer...a bed, and a bookshelf...a lamp, a dresser...normal. Furnished in blue and red and yellow and brown...Tobias's and my colors. It looks like the average 21 year old's apartment. But it's not. For one, there is always someone in there with me. Not now. For the first time...I feel like screaming. I am the only person in the room. Marco left. I remember him. I remember what he had to do...in the last battle. Memories...They flooded me suddenly....and then there I was...

We were prepared. We KNEW this would be the last battle. The andalites had come. The people on Earth knew. But this last battle...between Visser One...Visser Three...and us. The Animorphs. We were tense. If we lost this battle...I blocked the thought. So many of our friends, our relatives were already dead. "Okay everyone," Jake's voice. "Let's morph." I focused my mind on the grizzly bear. Looking back...I think I should have used my elephant. But my grizzly is immensely powerful. No land animal can kill it. The morph started quickly. I grew to a height of about eight feet. Rough, shaggy brown fur covered me. My fingers shriveled to iron sharp claws. my teeth itched as stronger grizzly teeth took place of my patheticly week human teeth. My nose and ears both grew. My eyes grew weaker. This animal didn't depend on sight. Like most other animals, it used its ears and nose to realize what was around it. I knew what changes were going throught the others. Jake, in his tiger morph,had dropped to all fours, with claws and teeth, that, while not as powerful as mine, was incredibly fast. Cassie had changed to a wolf, with ears and nose to rival mine, and teeth that could bite through the throat of a struggling deer. Marco had changed to a gorilla, with powerful arms that could literally pick up 300 or 400 pounds of weight. Ax had demorphed to his normal andalite shape, with a wickedly sharp tail blade. And Tobias...Tobias had black dots on his yellow fur. He had grown in length and strength so instead of his normal hawk body, he had become a leopard. He almost looked like a smaller version of Jake. We had all become different animals. The Animorphs.

The yeerks were in the room. We were only seperated by an invisible barrier.And I charged it first.

WHAM! It hurt. It was like an invisble shield...Marco came and joined me at trying to crack it. Then, a taxxon fired a dracon beam! It pierced the shield and almost burned my fur.

< Okay, I'm mad now. > I said. Then, I rammed myself through the barrier and ran through it. I guess the dracon beam melted the shield, because I ran straight through right into about 20 horks. Marco and Tobias were right next to me, while Jake, Cassie, and Ax were behind us.

The next few minutes were a whirlwind of violence, blood, and memories so painful...my claws raking a hork-bajir across the face...Cassie, in her wolf morph, biting and trying to get out of the circle of horks that surrounded her...Ax slicing anything that was in reach...Jake and Marco and Tobias and myself teamed up into pairs...it worked, for a while. Then, for some reason, Tobias was seperated from me.

< Tobias!!! > I called and looked around.

< Rachel... > he answered. < Help... >

I looked around. Then, even with the grizzlies weak eyesight, I saw it. Tobias surrounded by too many hork bajir, helpless. And in the center were the Vissers One and Three.

< Ah, my precious "Animorph", > Visser Three said. < Visser One, would you like to help me finish it off? >

"Of course," Visser One answered cruelly.

< TOBIAS! > I yelled. < Everyone, come! > The other Animorphs all tried to run closer...But it was too late. Visser One fired her dracon beam at the same instant Visser Three aimed his tail...I ran ful, out, but got there a split second too late to stop them...but I was there. I witnessed.

< Tobias! > I cried.

< Rachel... > he answered weakly. < Rachel...you know...I... >

I was crying as I watched him, feebly trying to stay alive.

< I love you, Tobias, > I said.

< I love you too, Rachel. Stay...alive. For...me. > He paused, and I was vaguely aware of a battle going on. Tobias gave a little sigh and stopped talking.

< Tobias!!!! > I cried. < TOBIAS!!!!!!!!Don't leave me ALONE!!! >

No answer. Some hork-bajir CREEP tried to slice me. I rammed one paw into his chest. He died instantly.

< You piece of filth, > I yelled. I grabbed Tobias's dead body with one hand and started to walk out from the battle. As soon as I'd gotten out, I demorphed and cried. I looked at Tobias's dead leopard body. He was dead. Dead.

About a half hour later the remaining Animorphs came out and demorphed, looking tired. Marco seemed especially uptight. When I asked why, he first pointed at the dead body I'd dragged out, and then yelled something abou having to kill his mother.

Cassie later told me it was very dramatic, Marco had first kissed his mothers body, told her he loved her, then hugged her so hard she died. Deadly hugs. Not like something I'd shared...

I woke up from my trance. For the past ten months, I'd been in a state past feeling, past thinking, past caring. And playing a stupid game like Jezzball that I can't even get past the seventh level!

I heard a noise. Cassie panting. She sounded hurt. I jumped up from my chair and ran into Cassie's and Jakes bedroom. It was nice, I noted. Cassie was lying on their bed, panting hard. Of course...my mind said. She's having a baby. And she is having problems.

I looked at her, straight in the eyes. "Cassie," I said softly. "Cassie, its me. Rachel."

Marco and Jake looked at me in surprise. I paid no attention. "Cassie," I said. "You can do it. Focus, girl. Remember what you said when we were morphing? You can do it. Breathe."

A few minutes later, I spotted the head. "It's almost there," I told her. "Push!"

One last push, and the baby came out. It took its first breath. Just like Tobias had taken his last. Jake, who was the closest thing to being a doctor here, slowly looked at the little baby in his arms. "It's a boy..." He whispered. "I'm a father..." I will never forget the look on his face. It was glowing with hopes and dreams for his son.

I suppose we all had the same looks on our faces. Of pride, of hope, and...of caring.

"What are you going to name him?" Marco asked the new parents.

But it was I who answered for them. "Tobias."

"Our son," Jake and Cassie said together.

"My first cousin once removed," I said.

"My friend." Marco said.

I looked at him, not sure of whom he meant.

"Both," He amended.

"Tobias Aximili Elfangor __________" Jake said proudly, looking at his son who he held in his arms. (Heh...Authors note...What did you THINK, I was going to name Jake's last name?)

"A new beginning in the aftermath," I whspered to myself.

I grinned at Cassie. All four of us Animorphs were watching Tobias's first steps. I felt proud watching my sons first steps...right to Rachel. When he finally reached her, he landed on his butt. Cassie giggled watching Tobias's antics. Rachel picked him up and gave him a hug. The sunlight shown in the yard. Marco yelled "Take Two!" Marco had made himself the offical video taker, taking pictures and videos of everything that Tobias did.

We'd all changed so much after his birth. Marco had regained some of his sense of humor, which had been dangerously low, although he was never exactly the same. Cassie and I were happier then we had been since the war started. Rachel? Well, she wasn't a vegetable anymore. She wasn't her old self either. A lot of the time she would be humming a strange tune I didn't recognize.

Cassie took Tobias from Rachel. "It's time for your food." she told him, and headed inside. Tobias gurgled happily.

"Ah, the lovely feeding of creamed corn. C'mon Tobias, you can break your old record for creamed spinach on the ceiling today!" Marco followed them.

Rachel gazed around the sunlit yard, humming that same tune.

"Hey, Rachel, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Jake," she answered.

"You know that tune you are always humming? What are the words?" I asked.

"There aren't any real words...Tobias would hum it...and...while I was in my...depression," Her voice was very low, "I made up words to it."

"Can I hear them?" I asked.

"Sure. Here they are:

Don't leave me alone,

The cry in the night

Of anguished heart breaking

Of soul killing fright

Live for my living

Or else I must die

Don't leave me alone

The world heard that cry.

"I'm afraid it isn't very good," she said. "It's just...when I sing or hum the words...when I'm not with Little Toby..." her voice trailed off for a second. "I feel like...like...Tobias is closer to me. Like he's watching me or something. Does that make any sense?" she asked.

I squeezed her hand. "Yes it does."

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