Recovery. What exactly is it and, maybe more importantly, what isn't it? Recovery is something which can become a big gray area for many, myself included. Where is that fine line between our version of "The Three R's"... Recovered, Recovery, and Relapse. While I wish I could answer this question with an air-tight answer, all I can really do is address how I approach the concept of recovery.
First of all, recovery is NOT about doing it perfectly. That is not possible, and when we expect perfection from ourselves, we will never be happy - remember, we're human! Recovery isn't about our decisions or actions yesterday or last week or last year. It is a forward motion, it involves the decisions we will make tonight and tomorrow and the next day. I know for myself, I'm pretty apt to diminish my accomplishments and completely focus on my slips or the things I don't quite do right. This seems to be common among us, and I think this can make the whole issue of recovery even more confusing. Don't just dwell on your mistakes... learn from them and mooooove on! I know, I know; easier said than done but something that helps in the process is to make sure you acknowledge the things you're doing RIGHT too! Even the things that seem tiny and insignificant to you; big accomplishments are made out of lots of little ones clumped together :). When it's hard to think of any accomplishments you've made, ask someone close to you! Often other people can see things we may not. And one last thing... I've learned from experience that if you spend all your time thinking about where you think you "should" be in recovery compared to where you are, it doesn't do anything for you except bring you a wealth of frustration. We are where we are, and we need to accept that. This doesn't mean being content to stay there, but if we gently acknowledge what we're feeling and where we stand then we can move on from there. It's a process, and it's one full of discovery. We discover ourselves all over again. So don't give up, each and every one of us can make it. Even from the tiny bit of recovery I've seen, I know it's worth it... but even more importantly each one of YOU is worth it! You deserve to live... not just exist but LIVE! Remember, YOU ARE WORTH IT!
~Carrie~
