Chapter 7

"The Crap Hits the Fan"

by Liam the Irradiated Hamster Gibbs

===[ 2:34:13.16 remaining ]===

Space. There was plenty of it. Millions of miles upon millions of miles from the nearest Tim Horton's street corner, as if such a concept existed. It was noiseless and undisturbed, and had been that way since the beginning of time. Lifeless rocks hung in the starry galaxy, hurtling in their orbits as if on an invisible race track.

A huge spaceship shot forth! It shot through space and cut through any solid matter and tore that matter to crumbling pieces, dispersing it like a child scattering birds away!

Then space was undisturbed again.

===[ 2:18:27.41 remaining ]===

"I quit." Armour clanked down on a metallic table, shattering the silence that filled the room a second before.

Robbie looked up from a magazine he was reading, startled by the sudden sound. He almost fell off the couch, and Niels had decided that his lap wasn't such a peaceful place to take a nap anymore. The cat jumped off and shivered, sauntering off to find a new bed. "What?" he stammered, confused. "Quit what?" He looked up at Trey.

"Quit the team. Quit the super hero biz. Quit everything." He breathed in, then out heavily.

"Why? Mickey said you were making progress! It's been almost a month and no more Thrash vs. the NYPD re-enactments! Carlton and I even had a pool going! What's wrong now?"

"I'm not getting any better. Even with Turbo helping out. Nova keeps getting mad for stupid things. I'm just not getting anywhere. I'm not cut out for this."

"Dude, it took me almost a year to figure out I can't bounce off water. If you want slow progress, I'm a poster child." Robbie pointed at himself and gave a goofy smile, but Trey didn't respond as well as he'd hoped. Usually his flippant attitude helped soften the mood, but Trey was a tough audience.

"But Nova keeps gettin' his panties in a ruffle over the smallest things! He's always on my back! He says he's tired of dealing with my crap, but he's always dishing his own crap out!"

"Aww, who cares about Dopey the Fear? He was like that with me when we first met! To this day, I'm *still* Toothpick to him!"

"How did you do it? I mean, improve!"

"Try giving Terrax a good left hook. That's what started me off."

Trey turned to leave and sighed. "Forget it."

"Hold on!" Robbie grabbed onto Trey's shoulder to stop him, and Trey turned to look at him. Robbie was shocked. "Whoa, I didn't think you'd actually listen."

"What do you want to say?" Trey asked.

"I was just gonna tell you, don't give up so easily on this superhero thing. You've only been at it for a couple o' months. Don't expect to be able to take on Doc Ock just yet." He paused to look at Trey's reaction to what he's saying. "We improved 'cause we worked at it for months! Nova's just hyper-thyroid king because he fought in a space war, that's all. He'll get used to you. He got used to *me*."

Trey looked down at the ground. He knew Robbie was making some sort of sense, even though he didn't want to admit it to himself. He didn't want to quit, but he felt he had to. If he didn't, he'd end up dead.

"Besides, you walk away from this armour right now, you may not get another chance. It's not like you'll find some mystic breastplate in a condemned building or something."

"I'll think about it," he responded before tearing his shoulder away from Robbie's grasp and sulking off.

===[ 0:56:59.04 remaining ]===

Nova punched the last of the bank robbers out. His fist and the thug's head met like two trains, one leaving San Francisco at 2:pm and traveling at 120 km/h, the other leaving Liberty, New Mexico at 3:18 pm and traveling at 135 km/h. He dropped the thug to the ground and surveyed the gaggle of unconscious twits that lay before him. "That's the end o' that," he said and gave a quick smirk before putting a hand to his chin. After his powers returned to him after they were stolen by the Xandarians, he'd found it harder to pull his punches. It was a tough job, having super strength and not punching someone's brains out. But it was something he had to learn how to control. And the crashtest dummies that the New Warriors got ahold of were gone now, so he had nothing on which to guage his punches except the real thing.

He looked up at the clock. It took him four minutes to take these cheese puffs down. A new record. That put a smile on his face. There weren't many people at the bank during the attempted robbery. Nova didn't know why, and just chalked it up to low-business hours (especially since it was after closing. That helped to thin the crowd). He wanted to leave promptly, before authorities and news crews showed up. Even with the exposure he wanted to get, he hated waiting around to fill out police reports and whatever. Spider-Man never did it, so why did he have to? The cameras had the whole incident on videotape. Plus the stories of the eyewitnesses. That would be enough to have his name written all over this foiled robbery. Besides, he wanted to hit a bar, grab a drink. He hadn't had the time to do that for a few weeks, ever since he had to start babysitting that idiot new Night Thrasher just to keep that guy out of trouble. Nah, it was late and he wanted to get back to the Crash Pad.

He waved goodbye to the bank clerks. "Just remember to tell the news who saved your butts: Nova, the human rocket!" He turned and ran toward the doors. Then he was off! Speeding up and away, it looked as if a normal human being had jumped and suddenly been carried away by something in fast forward!

===[ 0:48:12.58 remaining ]===

Nova was at the Crash Pad in only eight minutes. From downtown to the Crash Pad in eight minutes! Another new record for him. It must be the new brand of coffee he'd had today. Or maybe that extra bowl of Corn Flakes.

He touched down in front of the Crash Pad, first one foot and then the other. Every time he arrived, it made him more and more thankful that the New Warriors headquarters was blocks away from the big city. The thought of someone finding out where they were based made him cringe. The bad guys would surely be coming knocking on their door just about every other day. No good. Not during Simpsons time anyway (recent studies showed that most villains put into action their plots to take over the world at 8 at night; of course, these were the same studies that showed an average of 5.7 minutes each takeover attempt before a villain laughed his or her first evil cackle).

He entered the pad and immediately headed for the lounge on the ground floor. The first thing he noticed was the pile of Night Thrasher armour lying strewn on a wooden table. He looked up to Robbie, who was sitting on the couch, still engrossed in his magazine. "Hey Toothpick," he called out as his costume disintegrated and metamorphosed into regular attire. He became Rich Rider once again. "Any news?"

He didn't want to tell Rich about Trey trying to quit. He didn't feel like hearing Rich rant about him again. "Marvel called. They have a comic book proposition for us and they wanted to talk to whoever's in charge." He looked up from his magazine and at Rich. "Other than that, it's been a pretty dead night."

Rich paused. He almost didn't want to ask, but did. Forced himself to. "How's Laura?"

"Doing fine. I don't think there's any more Xandarian thingamajigs on her."

"How about Mathemanic?" He asked about the member of Psionex that had apparently been keeping them alive for the past month and a half. The one who didn't want to even begin to explain why they should all be dead.

Since he'd told them after impersonating Cloak, he'd been staying with the New Warriors at the Crash Pad, not wanting to go outside for fear that something may happen to him to jeopardize his sustained reality.

"Still mooching out of our fridge."

"Any new secret Hydra teams hiding in our basement?"

"Nope."

Rich paused again. "Any new visions from Rina?"

"Let's just say I put a lot of money on the Knicks." He shrugged and stood up. Really, nothing had happened today. Rich finally got the gist of the vastness of nothing that had happened.

Turbo walked into the room and removed her helmet, as if having waited for Rich to arrive. She sighed heavily, a long day now finally behind her. "Hey guys." She dropped her helmet on the couch shortly before dropping herself onto it. "What's on the news?"

"TV's still gutted," Robbie replied. "So... noth--"

A scream sounded nearby! An anguished, bellowing scream followed by the pitter-patter of feet!

"What The--?!(tm) Who's the rock-n-roller?" Rich wrapped himself up with his Nova Corps costume, becoming Nova once again.

Turbo stood up and grabbed her helmet, trying to put it on slowly so that she could hear as much as possible. The sounds had stopped as abruptly as they started, threatening her bladder earlier! She paused, not even putting the helmet back on her head. She waited, holding her breath, and so did Nova and Robbie.

No one spoke. Just listened.

Finally, "What was--?" A ssh and an outstretched hand from Turbo silenced Robbie. No more sounds. Seconds ticked by, soon becoming a minute (seconds do that every so often) and still nothing.

Turbo eased up and drew a breath of air. Robbie punched the wall to quickly become Speedball, a small impact enough to trigger his kinetic field.

The door! It burst open with such force that it banged onto the wall behind it! And suddenly, there stood Laura! Blank-stared and wide-eyed! Clutching a gun! A strange looking one! Where could she have possibly gotten a gun? A secret stash of the first Night Thrasher's nobody had found?

She fired! One shot, then two, quickly colliding into Nova's helmet! They pock-marked the helmet and bounced off into a wall! But Nova was sent stumbling back! He hit his head against the wall behind him!

Speedball grabbed Laura and tore the gun from her grasp, afraid that it may misfire in the struggle. He was lucky. He grabbed it from her forceful hand and tossed it aside before holding her down. She was spewing some jargon in some unintelligible language! At first, Speedball thought she might be reciting from a Corel owner's manual, but it wasn't so convoluted! It was a definite language! But something he'd never heard!

Sweat dripped from her face as she writhed around in Speedball's grasp, trying to get loose. "Hey, hey! Cut with the foreign dialects and lay off the Nutrasweet!"

Speedball learned from Chord a good knockout move in the earlier days of the team, and applied it to Laura by sending a chopping hand into the base of her neck. She was out like a light, and dropped to the ground, heavy and unsupported.

Speedball looked over at Nova and noticed that he lay unconscious. A combination of the bullets and knocking into the wall putting him to sleep like a NyQuil. Seemed strange, but it happened.

"What was that?" Turbo asked.

"Too much studying?" Speedball offered. "Trig can make *any* person go crazy and spew out words no one's ever heard before. Like azimuth."

===[ 0:34:19.06 remaining ]===

"Ha ha!" a gutteral laugh came from Terrax. "Nothing can now stop me! I now have power beyond measure!" His deep, echoey voice struck terror into the readers' hearts. Terrax stood on a building rooftop, his power axe in one hand. In the other he clutched at air. "Not even the medling Fantastic Four can stop me!" His power axe glowed in the windy night sky.

Suddenly, Rage jumped onto the rooftop from places undetermined! He stood fully upright from his landing position and pointed at Terrax. "Give it up, Terrax. The world'll never be yours. Not if I have anything to do about it!"

"Ah, so a human insect comes prattling at me like a simpering dolt! The world is mine, buffoon! There is nothing this germ species can do to stop my tyrranical reign!"

"Instead of wasting your time and energy trying to take on the planet, why don't you use it instead on these golden Hostess Twinkie brand snack cakes?" Rage tossed three or four packaged cakes at Terrax, who promptly opened one and began chewing on it.

"Wow! Golden sponge cake! Creamy filling! I was never aware that human worms were capable of such tasty treats! Yumm!" Terrax's axe was suddenly on the ground at his side.

Five kids suddenly were on the rooftop as well, each enjoying a delicious Hostess Twinkie of his or her very own, their watering tongues licking the light filling from their lips. Rage stood beside them, munching on a Twinkie as well.

"You have done well to show me the ways of Hostess, human! If I'd have known of these great-tasting Hostess Twinkies, I would have never wasted my time on domination! Yummy!" He smiled.

===[ 0:03:37.41 remaining ]===

Nova awoke after a good three-quarters-of-an-hour nap. Laura still lay dormant in one corner of the room, Turbo watching like a hawk that she wouldn't wake up and start attacking again.

"What was that?" Nova asked, his voice still a little groggy.

"I have no idea." Speedball asked. "Laura--your girlfriend (?), I might add--decided to play Duck Hunt with our walls. She burst in spouting something about something before you stupidly got shot in the helmet and knocked yourself out when you were thrown back. That's one powerful gun she had. It doesn't look like anything I've seen."

"What was it?" Nova stood up with some help from Turbo.

"I have no idea," Turbo replied. "But I can't find any bullets in the walls where the holes are."

"She's a good shot, though," Speedball replied.

===[ 0:02:02.59 remaining ]===

"What was she talkin' about?" Nova asked.

"Something like, 'Verata tutana' or whatever it was."

Nova looked up at him. He remembered vaguely. "What? 'Velata totaga'?"

===[ 0:01:57.13 remaining ]===

"Whatever. It was weird."

"Oh no," Nova cried out. He broke into a run! Toward the door he went, weaving his path around the furniture in the room!

===[ 0:01:03.01 remaining ]===

"What does that mean?" Turbo asked, chasing after him with Speedball behind her. They burst through the door and into what would be the main lobby of the Crash Pad if the Crash Pad had one. "What is 'Verata tutana'?"

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Nova turned to her and stopped at the front door. "'Velata totaga'," he corrected again. "It's 'Velata totaga'. They know we're here. They know where we live." Nova's eyes were wide, and Turbo could tell behind the green smoke begine expelled from them that he was stressed. Moreso than missing hot wings night at the local Chili Willi's.

===[ 0:00:36.59 remaining ]===

"So what does it mean?" Turbo asked as Nova swung open the front doors to the Crash Pad and stepped outside.

===[ 0:00:32.11 remaining ]===

Turbo and Speedball stepped outside after him. "It's a Xandarian dialect," Nova told them. "You must not have found every Xandarian device on Laura. She just tried to kill me!"

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Speedball looked at Nova. Nova's heart was obviously beating wildly. His breathing was laboured. "What's it mean?" Speedball asked.

===[ 0:00:10.00 remaining ]===

Nova paused, thinking.

===[ 0:00:06.54 remaining ]===

He spoke. "It means everything's about to hit the fan." A rumbling began shaking the entire area, no doubt the entire city! But from where? The three braced themselves on whatever was around to support them as what seemed like an earthquake continued to rumble around them!

===[ 0:00:03.45 remaining ]===

Clouds began parting in the night sky, and Turbo and Speedball looked up. Nova didn't have to. He knew what it was they were looking at.

===[ 0:00:01.19 remaining ]===

Nova started, "It means..."

===[ 0:00:00.34 remaining ]===

"... they're here."

===[ 0:00:00.00 remaining ]===

An incredible, massive starship emerged from the clouds slowly and moved its way overtop the Crash Pad then stopped. Nova turned around to peer up at the spacecraft. "That's a pendragon, a Xandarian warship. And it's here to kick our butts."

Speedball looked up, jaw agape. He didn't know what to expect. Didn't know what to say. "Turbo?" he muttered half-heartedly with a whimpering squeak.

"Mm-hmm?" she said, equally distracted and awestruck by the massive, looming thing mere metres above them.

"Do we have the Fantastic Four on speed-dial?" Speedball asked.

To Be Continued...

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e-mail the webmaster, tvkagato@hotmail.com

e-mail the author, liam@blackline.on.ca