By Karahkwa

Codes: ST:Voy C/K

Dislaimer: All things Trek belong to Paramount. The situations are purely my own. I mean no copyright infringement.

Summary: Chakotay has doubts. Harry clears things up.

=/\=

Chakotay rolled his neck against the strong hands kneading the aching flesh found there. It felt so good to have someone pamper him.

“My, my, you were tense, weren’t you?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“Well, don’t you worry. I’ll take good care of you.”

“Mmmm.”

Hands kneaded, pressed, massaged. After what seemed like hours in heaven, every ounce of tension had been rung out of his muscles, leaving Chakotay a limp pile of goo. His eyes closed and he drifted off to a gentle sleep.

About an hour later, he awake to the sound of the door sliding open. He raised his head from his desk and winced as pain shot through his neck muscles. His gaze was not kind as it fell on his visitor.

Harry.

“Sorry to wake you, but when you didn’t come home and wouldn’t answer your comm. badge, I got worried.”

“That’s okay. What time is it?”

”1930. Which means you’re two and a half hours late for our dinner date.”

Two hours ago, he’d been getting a massage, being pampered like he hadn’t been in quite some time. And Harry could never know about it.

Oh spirits, what do I say? “I- I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.”

Harry smiled and came around his desk. He gently rubbed the side of his face that had been pressed against his desk. “It’s obvious you’re tired, worn out. You wouldn’t have fallen asleep otherwise. We can have our date some other time. Come home. I’ll get you a light meal and then you can get some rest.”

“But you worked so hard to get babysitters and-“

“And nothing. There are four Voyager children. There are plenty of babysitters. They all want to see if they can get the first words out of the twins. We’ll have other nights. You need your rest.”

I need rest all right. That’s all you seem to think I need lately. Rest or a night of “dating.” I miss you, Harry. But how can I say that when you’re obviously tired of me? If we weren’t married, if we didn’t have the kids, would you have left me by now?

“I don’t want to disappoint you, Harry. I know you wanted tonight to be special.”

There was that gentle smile, the one that said you’re an idiot, but it’s loveable. “Every night is special with you, Cha. Just not what I’d planned.”

Harry managed to get Chakotay up and moving towards the door. Still the commander stopped them halfway across the room. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”

“I’m sure. Your well being is too important to me for me to put something as small as a date ahead of that. Now, let’s see about getting you home and into bed.”

If only that were what you really wanted. Why don’t you want me anymore? Am I too old now? It’s been nearly a month. With the exclusion of my pregnancy, you’ve never ignored me that long. What have I done wrong?

“Cha, what are you thinking?”

Chakotay looked into Harry’s eyes. I can’t lose you. I won’t. “How much I love you. How good you are to me.”

“You looked a little… mad.”

“I am mad. Mad that I’ve ruined our date. I was looking forward to being romantic with you.”

“Me too.”

Chakotay just smiled and leaned into Harry’s body. “Mmm. You feel good.”

“You must be tired. You don’t usually do public displays of affection.”

He raised his head from its resting place on Harry’s shoulder. “Would you like me to? Because I can. It’s-“

“Fine, Cha. I love you how you are. I know that you’re a very private person. You show me how much you love me enough at home. I don’t need anything else.”

Then what am I doing wrong? Why don’t you want me anymore?

“You’re thinking again. Should I be worried?”

Chakotay slid his arm around Harry’s waist. “No. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Harry frowned and looked at Chakotay as if searching his soul. Chakotay smiled weakly and rubbed his head against Harry’s cheek.

“What’s wrong, Har?” Chakotay frowned when his husband didn’t respond to the seldom-used nickname.

“I’m worried about you.”

“Why?”

“You’ve been so tired lately. I don’t know what I would do if…”

“Harry, I’m fine. You know how many hours I work and twins just starting to be mobile enough to reek havoc. We’re both tired. And you have to remember, I’m not as young as I used to be.”

Harry smiled. “You’re not old, Cha. You’re still the sexiest man on board.”

“No, I’m not.” You don’t act like it. You haven’t touched me in forever. You’re just saying that.

“You’re not? Who is then?”

“You are.” Chakotay leaned in and kissed Harry deeply.

Their tongues danced for a few moments. Chakotay’s hands slid against Harry’s body and then to the top of Harry’s button-up shirt.

Harry pulled back as Chakotay undid his third button. “Cha, hold on.”

“Nuh…” was all that was heard as Chakotay nipped and kissed his way down Harry’s neck.

“We’re in the turbolift. Anyone could see us.”

Chakotay sighed and pulled back. “Take me to bed?”

“You sure? You were so tired before.”

Chakotay smirked. “You energize me. Make love to me.”

Harry smiled and kissed his lips once more. He redid his buttons and took a step back. “You sure you’re up to it?”

Chakotay grinned. He recognized that mischievous gleam in his lover’s eyes. Oh, they were in for an interesting evening.

“I’m sure I can be turned on to the… possibilities.” Chakotay slid up next to Harry and rubbed against him just enough to feel his arousal. “What about you? You think you’re equipped for the job?”

Harry’s eyes widened with surprise. Dirty talk was not a usual part of their lovemaking. Seeing the eager glint in his love’s eyes, he laughed softly. “Oh, I’m sure I can manage something.”

Their lips met and their tongues dueled for control. Chakotay’s hands felt, caressed and generally groped anything he could reach. Harry’s hands were just as busy.

They clung together until they felt the turbolift stop. Chakotay pulled away to see an amused ensign looking at them.

“Commander, Lieutenant. Nice night.”

Chakotay smiled. He’d finally gotten Harry to touch him again. “A very nice night, indeed, Ensign. Any special plans?”

“Obviously not as special as your plans.” The woman smiled as the lift dropped her off at the deck containing Holodeck 1 and Sandrine’s. “Have a… good night.”

The ‘lift continued and Chakotay pressed against his husband again. However, the other man pulled away before he could reclaim their kiss.

“What was that all about? You hate rumors about our sex-life and you know all of Sandrine will now know we’re making love tonight.”

Chakotay smiled. “Harry, we’ve been married for over a year. Everyone knows that we make love, and everyone knows that the twins are staying will a sitter tonight. They all ready knew we were going to make love tonight. The only thing they know now that they didn’t before is that you like to grab my ass during foreplay.”

Harry blushed. “Still…” A smile broke out. “They also know you kiss with your eyes open.”

Chakotay smiled. “I can’t take my eyes off you. I still can’t believe I’m married to this beautiful man.”

Harry growled, “You’d better believe it,” and pushed Chakotay against the ‘lift wall. “Wait until I get you home. I’ll make sure you never forget it either.”

“Mmmmmm.” Chakotay nearly purred as he pulled Harry down for another long kiss. He pulled away only when the ‘lift finally stopped at their deck.

“Are you gonna a take me to bed now?” Chakotay whispered in his husband’s ear as they walked towards their quarters.

“Maybe. Have you been good lately?”

“I don’t know, but I’ll good for you now.” Chakotay smiled softly at Harry’s heated look. He couldn’t wait for them to get home.

The door slid open and shut. Harry pushed Chakotay against the wall and called out “Lights dim” before claiming his mouth.

Chakotay groaned and ran his hands up the chest that heaved before him. He pulled on the shirt that kept his fingers from his lover’s skin. Harry jerked back and Chakotay whipped the offensive piece of clothing off and across the room.

Harry laughed and growled, “Is that how we’re playing it?” He slid his hands down Chakotay’s stomach and pressed against the growing bulge in the front of his pants.

“Har… don’t tease me.” Chakotay pressed hard against that hand.

“Who said I was teasing?” Harry slowly undid the fly and slid both Chakotay’s pants and briefs down. He knelt and pulled his boots and socks off before baring his husband naked from the waist down.

Chakotay looked down at Harry. He watched with heated eyes as Harry leaned in to take just the head of his cock into his mouth.

Pleasure rocked through the commander’s body. His eyes closed as he threw his head back. When he conked his head on the wall, he pulled away.

Harry looked up. Confusion danced in his eyes. “Wha-?” Chakotay grabbed his arms and pulled him up right. “Bed,” he said as he moved in that general direction.

Harry latched onto his mouth and rerouted them to the dining area. Chakotay stopped when he felt the table connect with his thighs. He gasped as Harry lifted him onto the table and then broke their kiss. “Is this more to your liking?” He once again bent to the task of pleasuring his husband.

Chakotay’s head fell back again and he sighed. Harry really did have a talent for this. In fact, he could feel… He reached down and pushed Harry away. “You keep this up and you’ll be on your own in no time.”

Harry grinned and stepped forward to start removing Chakotay’s shirt. “I thought you were up for anything.”

“I underestimated your abilities.” He grinned and cup Harry’s pulsing arousal. “Besides, I’m sure we can find something else you’d rather… get into.”

Harry grinned and slid Chaktoay’s shirt the rest of the way off. “You think so, huh? And what might that be?”

Chakotay smiled and undid the top button of Harry’s fly. “Oh, I’m sure we’ll come up with something.”

Harry grinned and slid his pants down to his knees. “Oh, we’ll come all right.”

Grinning Chakotay rocked back onto his hands. “Really? How ‘bout you prove it, hot stuff?”

Harry chuckled and pressed against his husband. “Is there any lube out here?” He undulated his hips so Chakotay could feel his arousal.

“Um… I don’t think— In the top desk drawer.”

“Mmm… That’s handy.” Harry stepped over to the desk and pulled the top drawer out. He fumbled for a few moments before he pulled the tube out of the drawer. He rushed back to the table and popped the lid on the tube. “This might be a little cold.”

Chakotay hissed as two cold and slick fingers pressed into him. He arched his back as they rotated and thrust in and out. “Mm… Har… more…”

Harry smiled and added a third finger before he leaned into press kisses to his lover’s nipples.

Chaktoay sighed as the fingers turned and stretched his inner muscles. He’d almost forgotten how good this felt. There was only on thing that felt better.

“Harry, please… I need you.”

Harry straightened and slid Chakotay forward until just his hands and the edge of his buttocks held him on to the table. He stepped in between his legs and pressed hard into him.

“Har!”

Harry froze less than an inch from being fully inside of Chakotay. “Have I hurt you?”

“N-no… Feels so good.”

Harry smiled. He reached up and pulled Chakotay’s mouth to his. He pressed the rest of the way into his lover and then slowly began thrusting. After a few moments, Chakotay’s muffled grunt stopped their kiss.

“So close. Har, I-“

Harry looked into Chakotay’s dazed eyes and smiled. “Wrap your legs around my waist. Then your arms around my neck.”

Chakotay did as Harry asked even though he was so aroused he didn’t understand why. Harry lifted and walked towards the bedroom door.

Chakotay gasped and muffled a scream against Harry’s neck as the movement sent shivers of pleasure along every nerve in his body. By the time they’d reached the bedroom door, he couldn’t stand it anymore. His muscles tightened and he came all over Harry’s belly.

Harry froze as the muscles around him tightened, milking pleasure from him. Knowing he could never last long after feeling his Cha come, he rushed the bedside and gently lowered their joined bodies.

Chakotay floated back to reality to see Harry’s sweaty and almost pained face. He frowned and then realized his husband was still hard inside of him.

“Make love to me, Harry.”

Harry smiled and kissed him as he began thrusting again. There was no slow build up this time; he simply pounded into his lover.

“Harry,” Chakotay sighed as he felt his body responding again.

The thrusts came harder, faster and with each one, both of their arousal grew until with one hard, shuddering thrust, they both succumbed to ecstasy.

After a few moments, Harry rolled to his back and Chakotay moved to lay flush against his side with his head on his husband’s shoulder. He sighed in contentment and pressed as close as he could.

“Chakotay, can I ask you something?”

Chakotay snuggled closer to Harry. The sweet afterglow made him putty in his husband’s arms. “What?”

“Were you ever going to tell me about the massage program?”

Chakotay snapped back to reality. His face flushed with shame. “You know?”

Harry laughed. “Cha, you put a holo-emitter in your office. Of course, I was curious. But why did you create a program of me massaging your back? You could have just asked me. I love touching you.”

“You haven’t touched me in a month.”

Harry sat up and looked down at Chakotay, staring into his eyes. “I may not have made love to you in that long, but Cha, I do touch you every day.”

Chakotay sat up and sighed. “I know but…. Why’d you stop making love to me?”

“You were too tired. I mean, fourteen hour shifts, year-old twins, not to mention all the time you spend counseling people. You seemed exhausted. I didn’t want to compound the problem by keeping you up at night. But you just seemed to get more worn-out as the weeks went on.”

“I couldn’t sleep. I’d lay awake at night, wondering what I’d done wrong, wondering why you didn’t seem to want me anymore, if you still loved me.”

“I’ll always want you. And I’ll never stop loving you.” Harry sighed and pulled Chakotay back to his side and back under the covers. “Let’s make a deal. Next time, tell me when you’re feeling neglected. I’ll try not to make any more unilateral decisions about our sex life.”

“Sound good.”

Chakotay snuggled closer to Harry again. He felt warm and content like he hadn’t in quite a while. He was just about asleep when Harry spoke again.

“Cha?”

“Mmm?”

“Can I try your new holoprogram?”

Chakotay laughed and leaned in to kiss Harry softly. “Of course.”

What else could he say? How could he resist someone whose love was his undeniable strength?