Title: Lost

Author: Karahkwa

Codes: C/?, C/?, ?/?

Rating: PG

Challenge: Write a Chakotay fic based on this quote: "Two paths diverged in the woods, and I took the one less traveled. Now, Iím eating bugs and berries, and if the Park Ranger doesnít find me soon, Iím a dead man." ĖJim Rosenberg

Disclaimer: All things Trek belong to Paramount, et al.

~/\~

Life is about choices and sometimes making those decisions are the hardest thing in the world. Itís like that Robert Frost poem:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler

Maybe Iím not explaining well enough. Iím bisexual and Iíve fallen in love with two different people. And trying to love both of them is driving me nuts.

Itís not that Iím cheating on them with each other because Iím not in a relationship either but I would very much like to be. If I could chose one of them. Which I canít.

Instead I sit and watch them night after night in Sandrineís, the resort, Fair Haven, even the mess hall.

My goodness, she is so beautiful. Hair pulled back and up away from her face to show off her bright, intelligent eyes. Her cheekbones are sharp and deep. Her nose peaks out of that pretty face, lean and elegant. And her bodyÖ the stuff of wet dreams.

Not that he isnít. Those muscles and taunt skin could make a man drool, and at least a few women. Of course those flashing eyes make my skin tingle. Itís incredible the way he can make me feel hundreds of different emotions at the same time.

So does she, though and watching them both is like sending my body into convulsions. I canít sort it all out. I love it, though. Iím addicted to the feeling.

YeahÖ I want them bothÖ butÖ

Thatís why Iím sitting here. Theyíll both be here tonight and Iíll spend another evening in agonizing bliss watching them. Iím shivering with anticipation.

The doors open and I hold my breath. Itís HERÖ Itís HIMÖ togetherÖ TOGETHER!!

Theyíre together. Him and herÖ theyíre a couple. Iíve waited too long. Iíve lost them both, to each other.

I waited too long. I didnít pick a pathÖ or maybe I did by not chosingÖ

Iím going to spend the rest of my life alone, loving two people who will never love me back. Loving two people and being jealous of them both for the otherÖ Itís going to eat me alive.

Robert Frost didnít know what he was talking about. But Jim Rosenberg did:

Two paths diverged in the woods, and I took the one less traveled. Now, I'm eating bugs and berries, and if the Park Ranger doesn't find me soon, I'm a dead man.

The End


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Email: karahkwa@wildmail.com