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How Can I Have a God-Honoring Marriage?


When my husband and I got married, he had already started Bible College. By the time he graduated, we had three children. He would work 40 to 45 hours a week and have 15 hours of school a week plus whatever time he had to put into homework and we spent approximately 15 hours a week at church or church-related activities. We tried to have a weekly date but that didn't always work out as planned. Now I'm not suggesting that all families are destined to go through a schedule like this or that they should - I'm merely stating that I've been there.


I knew pretty well what I was getting into when we married; my husband was already called to preach and in Bible College. I had to learn to cope with the housework and being alone and then later, dealing with the children by myself alot. I wanted to make the most of our family's time together. I didn't want my husband to come home to hear me gripe about how rotten the children were or how I needed him to wash the dishes or vacuum. I might have had a tough day but I knew he had a tough day of his own. I knew he cared enough about me to ask how my day was when he was ready. I tried my hardest to deal with the disciplinary problems with the children (I would try to only bring the major things to him) and the demands of running a household (making ends meet on a shoestring budget). I had to find a way to church on my own when my husband was working (he worked most Wednesday evenings). I was far from being the perfect wife - these were just my ideals. I did do my share of griping, but I tried my best to apologize for overburdening him. I did my best to be his help meet, not a burden.

(Gen 2:18)
"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."


I was striving to be the wife I should be and in the process I was allowing my husband to strive to be the husband he needed to be. We both needed room to grow into our positions, so we tried to allow it in each other with a little guidance from each other; but trying mostly to leave it in the Lord's hands (we sometimes didn't like where the guidance came from, but we knew it was from the Lord).

The Bible commands the woman to be the helper or completer of her husband, not the other way around.

(Eph 5:25-31)
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

He's commanded to provide for you and protect you, not to complete you!!


I'd like to share with you some of the things I learned in the early part of our marriage - or - How Can I Have A Happy Marriage?? I learned from the Bible, some through trial and error and other things I learned from other Godly women.


Do what it takes to keep your marriage fresh and alive. Marriage isn't what we can get out of it - but WHAT WE PUT INTO IT!!



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Created on ... May 23, 2001