**Kayci**
Four of the guys looked up at me like everything was fine. Kevin, Howie and even Brian came up and hugged me. But not Nick. He had that look like someone had just told him he has four hours to live. And I'm sure that I have the same look but I smiled. “Hey guys! I've missed you!”
“Kayci,” A.J. said to me, “we have tonight off so we're thinking that we'll just grab dinner in the hotel restaurant. Is that okay?”
“That sounds great,” I replied with a smile.
“Cool,” Brian said. “I guess we'll leave around six then.”
There was a very long, uncomfortable pause. Nick wouldn't look at me, he didn't even say hi to me. None of the guys obviously knew what was going on between us so they weren't the least bit as uneasy as I was.
A.J. cleared his throat and said, “Um, Jess and I are going to go to my room and talk.” He eyed the other three guys. “And don't you three have something that you should be doing right now?” I could see Brian was about to protest but A.J. said, “Yes, you do.”
Brian looked from me to Nick and then smiled and winked at us. “Oh, I get it.”
If he only knew. “I'll see you guys later.” I said goodbye to them and then all that was left were Nick and I. He quietly sat down on the bed, still not looking at me. I was not going to back down this time. I was going to be the strong one. “So Nick,” I said breaking the silence. “How are you? How have you been?”
He finally looked up at me. “Not good, to both of those.”
“Really...”
“Yeah. What about you?”
“Oh the same old.”
“Really...”
“Yeah, the same old depressing state I've been in since I met you.” I bit my lip but I wasn't going to let him win this one. I've let him win every other one, but not this.
“Well, fine then.” He stood up and, without saying another word, walked out of the room.
I sighed and sat down on the bed. This was going to be long and hard and I don't think that I want to deal with it. I sighed and fell over on the bed...God I can smell him. I was really hurt this time. Everything has just been building up inside of me...everything that has ever happened between us is just becoming too much. And now, we have a chance to talk things through, we have a perfect opportunity to make things better and he walks out...again. Is it just me or is he always walking out...not necessarily just walking out on me but walking out in general? Of course, I had to be strong again and I had to fix this...again.
I sat up when I heard a knock at the door. I walked to it...hoping that it would be Nick but when I opened the door it was Jess. “Oh hi.”
“Um...how are things going?” Jess asked.
I led her into the room and opened my arms to an empty room. “Yeah, things are great!”
“Oh no. Where is he?”
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes but I fought them and clenched my teeth...I was not going to let him win. “I don't know...I don't know.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the room.
“We're going to go find him and settle this once and for all.”
**Jessica**
I was so sick of this. I just want to kill Nick right now. His answer to everything was to just walk away and, more often than not, he walked away from Kayci and it hurt more than her...Nick hurt everyone every time that he did this.
I dragged Kayci down to the lobby where I knew that Nick would be because that's where the rest of the guys were. And I was right. I dragged Kayci over to the group and glared coldly at Nick. “Nick!”
He looked up at me. “What?” His face dropped as soon as he saw Kayci.
“We need to talk. Now.”
“Excuse me but I'm having a conversation with-”
“Now!”
“Is anything wrong, Jess?” Brian asked, looking from me to Kayci and then back.
“Yes, Brian. There is a lot wrong. Now let's go Nick.” I took Kayci's hand again and led her back up to her room with Nick following. I was not going to let this one be easy on Nick. I was seriously pissed this time. “Sit on the bed, Nick. Kayci, over there on the chair.” I wanted to make sure that she was far enough away. “Now Nick, I am sick and tired of Kayci crying to me because you're an idiot or that you've walked out on her again!”
“But I-”
“Don't you fucking talk.”
**Nick**
This time Jess was scary and I was scared. Her face grew redder by the millisecond.
“Nick,” Jess continued, “you've been driving down this long highway without looking at the scenery. You just keep your eyes focused on the road and your main goal; your primary concern is to just get there...wherever you're going. Kayci's in your car, next to you and God help her; I don't know how she still is. But she is. But you know what? When you get to the end of that road, it's going to be a dead end and then you're not going to have anything else to do and nowhere else to go. So why don't you just turn around and go back to where you started because you're just going to end up there eventually.”
I just sat there listening to her yell and get madder. But she was right.
“You drive and you drive and you wonder why you keep hitting so many potholes. Well let me tell you something. You've driven over a fucking mountain range! I suggest that you start fucking looking at the scenery!” She paused and looked at Kayci and then back at me. “Is anything that I'm saying getting through that thick head of yours?”
I could only nod my head slightly.
“I'm not going to tolerate your attitude towards Kayci anymore. Whenever anything gets a little to cramped, you walk. You fucking walk out on her. You can't do that! She's still in your car but you know what, she won't be for long. You're going to lose her.”
No! I don't want that-
“Now I'm going to give you...” She looked at her watch. “...Four minutes. I'm taking Kayci into another room and you have four minutes to sort out things in your mind. You either stay here or you walk out of that door. But let me tell you, if you walk out of that door you're not only walking out on Kayci but you're walking out on me and A.J. and Brian and Kevin and Howie and your parents and your family and everyone and everything that means something to you. Name one fucking time that I have ever walked out on you. Name one time where I haven't stood up for you.”
Well she was right again. She really had never walked out on me before.
“Now you have four minutes to decide what you want but if you walk out, you go back to the Backstreet Boys and you walk out on me but you especially walk out on Kayci.”
Jessica went over and grabbed Kayci. Kayci and I caught eyes once and I could only watch them leave and I sat there in silence after the door slammed.
**Kayci**
I had never seen Jess so angry! It was so cool! She must have bitched him out for over twenty minutes! She took me into her room and sat me down on the bed. She checked her watch. “What's the countdown at?”
“He's still got three minutes.”
I could feel myself getting madder and madder. “Let's go see now. It shouldn't take him that long. He shouldn't have to think that long.”
“I know but we'll still give him some time.”
Jess and I sat there in silence for what seemed hours. All I could think of was what if he walked out. What if he walked out? I would have to leave him and never turn back!
“It's time to go see what your beloved boyfriend's answer is,” Jess said. “I'll be right back.”
Oh God please...please don't let him have walked out that door.
I sat there for about five minutes until someone walked into the room. I stood up quickly. “Jess? Oh God, what did he do?”
“Come see for yourself.”
I followed her across the hall. When we walked into Nick's room, I looked around...and gasped.
**Nick**
“Nick, you're still here,” Kayci said to me.
I took a deep breath. “I've made my decision.”
Jess put her hands on her hips. “Let's hear it.”
“I'm not walking. Kayci, I'm sorry. I don't know why I do the things that I do. I got scared and I didn't know what else to do but walk away from our problems. I'm so sorry. No more walking out, Kayci.” I looked right into Kayci's eyes. I so want to hug her right now and just hold her in my arms to reassure myself that she can forgive me.
“Well good for you, Nick,” Jess said, breaking my thoughts. “Come along, Kayci, we have to go get ready for dinner.”
“Okay. Goodbye, Nick,” Kayci said.
“Bye, Kayci,” I said weakly.
**Kayci**
I stood in front of the mirror in my hotel room and watched every move that I made as I brushed my hair. I looked at the phone a couple of times…fighting the urge to call Nick. Well, this was our relationship. I grabbed my brown eye shadow and lightly applied it to my eyes. I touched up my mauve lipstick and put it back down.
“Here’s your dress,” Jess said coming up behind me.
She handed me my purple sundress with the butterflies on it. “Thanks.”
“It’ll be okay.” She paused. “If you don’t want to go-“
“I’ll be fine. I feel like I can handle anything.”
“Cheer up! Dinner will make you feel better.”
“Yeah.”
“Nick won't bug you. If he does, I'll smack him around.”
I just had to laugh...softly of course. “Gee, thanks.”
“Anytime. Now I have to go get dressed before the escorts get here.”
“Okay.” I watched her walk off into the bathroom. I slowly slipped out of my shirt and pants and slipped the purple dress over my head. I looked up at myself again in the mirror. I fixed my lips a little bit and combed my hair down with my fingers. I walked over to the bed, sat down and carefully slipped on my nylons.
“Ready?” Jess asked coming out of the bathroom wearing a short, yellow sundress...obviously bought by or for A.J.
“Almost. Just let me put my shoes on.”
“Okay.” Just then there was a knock at the door. “Ooh, that must be them!”
I sighed and leaned over and slipped on my pearl colored heels. I walked over to the mirror, sprayed a tiny bit of perfume on my neck, checked myself once again in the mirror and walked over to the door. There, A.J. and Brian were standing there in two gorgeous suits. A.J. had on a cream colored jacket and pants with a light purple shirt and tie underneath the jacket Brian was wearing a blue jacket and pants set with a green undershirt and tie.
“Hey, Shrimpy!” A.J. said.
I gave him a look. “Oh shut up. Not like you're very much taller!”
Brian laughed and held out his arm. “Shall we go, Kayci?”
I hesitated briefly and then took his arm. “Sure.”
Brian and I led the way down the hallway to the elevator. Man, did he smell good.
“You look very pretty,” he whispered to me.
“Thank you,” I said.
The four of us took the elevator downstairs and then walked through the lobby until we got to where the restaurant was and where the other three guys were waiting. We all said our hellos, except for Nick and I, and then walked into the restaurant. They sat us at a large table at one side of the restaurant. I watched and waited as everyone else sat down. Kevin and Howie sat at the ends of the table Jess sat next to Howie and then A.J. and Nick and then Brian sat down and the only seat left, for me, was next to Brian but across from Nick. However, I sat down anyway.
“So what are we all going to order?” Kevin said.
All of us picked up our menus. Everything looked so good! Over my menu I looked across the table at Nick only to catch him looking at me. Well...we all ordered our drinks and after a couple of minutes, they came. But the whole time, out of the corner of my eye, I could see Nick looking at me. God, I wanted to look back, smile, laugh...anything but avoid him! But it was too much. I wasn't ready. I looked at him and then stood up. “Excuse me.” I slowly walked out of the restaurant and outside.
**Nick**
Brian stood up right after Kayci left but I quickly stood up and stopped him. “No, let me.”
“Are you sure?” Brian asked.
“Yes. I'm the cause of this and she's still my fiancée, I hope.” I quickly ran out of the restaurant and followed her outside into the front parking lot. I stopped and let her keep walking until she stopped beside a car. I shivered as a cold wind blew across me. It was so cold outside and I wanted to go back into the hotel but I couldn't just leave Kayci out here alone. As quietly as I could, I walked up behind her. I didn't make a noise until I was directly behind her for fear that she would run away. “Kayci...” I whispered. I heard a slight gasp and she turned around. She looked pale and her arms were huddled against her.
“Nick? What?”
“I...I came to see you.”
“Nick-”
“Kayci, I'm sorry. I'm sorry again. I don't know what to do or what to say. What do you want me to say?” I paused. “What do you want me to do?”
“Nick...I don't have anything to say to you.” She turned away from me and it hurt. She obviously wanted to stay out here alone but it was so cold. I took my jacket off and slipped it around her shoulders.
She slightly turned her head. “Thanks.”
She closed it tighter around her but still didn't turn around. I sighed, stuffed my hand in my pockets and started to walk away.
**Kayci**
He sighed and I heard him start to walk away. God, his jacket smells so good. It smells like him. His jacket was warm but I really wish that it was him holding me and not his jacket. I quickly turned around, expecting to see Nick already in the hotel. To my surprise, he was just standing on the curb looking off into my direction. I started walking towards Nick. This wasn't his fault. He was going through such a bad time right now...I understand...sort of. I walked faster. The faster I walked, the faster my heart pounded. The clicking of my heels got faster until I walked right up to Nick...and clung to him for dear life.