Lina in Ancient China
By Miss. Lina ^_^

I am being chased by bandits. Now, don't say "so what." Being chased by bandits is an everyday occurance with me. The strange thing, though, is that these bandits say that they are from "China". I know everything, and I've never heard of China, so I simply assumed that they were mad and stole all of their treasure. It's OK, though, because I only steal from bad people, and these people are not only bad, but crazy.
Behind me, this odd-looking guy keeps yelling "Lekka Shien" and spewing fire balls (easily blocked by me balace wall). He really must be a third-rate sorcerer, because he can not seem to be able to cast a levitation spell to follow me.
As an extra added bonus, I leave them with something to think about.
"Dragon Slave!"
*** ***
Tasuki sprawls, flattened, on the floor of an ancient Chinese forest.

(The following has been censored on the off chance that this falls into the hands of small children or nuns)

"Beep-ing F-ing Beep Beep Beep!" Tasuki looks down at his broken fan.
"BEEP!"
*** ***
I am flying over a forest, and it is entirely unfamilier. So are the buildings I find at the edge of the forest.
I land in the middle of the street, and I hear screams and various disrespectful comment about my clothing, so I cast a couple of random burst-rondos.
I walk into an ally to examine my treasure, and a group of scruffy-looking men surround me.
"She'll never fetch a price," one mumbles, "She's short, has no figure and dresses funny."
"She'll bring a few bucks in," one shrugs, and they advance as if to attack.
Suddenly, an odd, blue-haired man appears and tells them to back off. He obviously dosn't know who I am, but if he is willing to draw their attention, I am willing to play the part of a damsel in distress.
I am so caught up in running and screaming that I don't realize he's finished.
"So, how about my payment?" he asks.
"Are you insane?" I yell, "You deprive me the pleasure of blowing up that insulting idiot and you want *me* to pay *you*? You've got to be kidding! You at least owe me lunch!"
"I saved you, and I deserve payment," he presists.
"Not a chance."
"Come on, little girl..."
"What? I'm 16, you jelly-fish brained idiot!"
"Really?" he says, "You're even flatter then Miaka..."
I begin to mutter, mumble and growl under my breath.
"... and shorther."
"Become one with my power..."
"What?"
"One with my body..."
"it's really not much of a body..."
"And we shall walk the path of destruction together. Power enough to smash even the souls of the gods..."
"Wow, that must be powerful. We can't even *summon* our god..."
"Laguna Blade!"