Something was seriously different with his friend. Aidan couldn't quite put his finger on it, but after knowing Zeke for five years, he could tell when he wasn't quite himself.
Zeke had been sitting outside, against the fence underneath the big oak tree all day.
"I wonder what he's doing out there, all by himself?" Lacy remarked casually. "It isn't like him to be a loner. That's more your department."
Aidan only nodded and went back to what he was doing: duct taping his old backpack back together.
Over the past five years, he, Lacy and Zeke had become very close friends.
Lacy started talking again, but Aidan didn't pay much attention. She had a talent for talking on and on, long after her point was made. Aidan was the complete opposite.
"Maybe he's sick," She concluded finally. "You should go talk to him." Aidan snapped his face up to her. "Why me?" He blinked.
"Because I said so!" She growled; her red spiral curls bouncing as she spun around to face him. Aidan paled; "Fine, I'll go." He grumbled as he got up and walked out into the yard.
"Hey," He said as he sat down next to Zeke.
"Hi Aidan," Zeke sighed, leaning back further against the fence. Aidan didn't even attempt to start a conversation. But he was painfully aware of Lacy watching him from the window. Zeke followed his gaze to the window and saw Lacy watching them. He got this dopey look on his face that caught Aidan completely off guard. He stared at his friend for a long time, in total shock.
"I think Lacy might get adopted soon."
"W-why would you say that?" Aidan wondered.
"Well look at her, she's pretty…"
Aidan blinked at him. "Oh God…no…"
"What?" Zeke asked.
"You do not!" Aidan started to laugh. "Don't tell me you've got a crush on Lacy!"
"What…!" Zeke turned bright red. "Of course not Aidan! I'll I'm saying is that she's got the face for it!"
Aidan doubled over in laughter. "C'mon, Zeke, admit it!"
"Why should I, if it's not true?" Zeke said indignantly, his eyes narrowing considerably. "Just take a look at her! I'm just stating a fact."
Aidan wiped a tear of mirth from his eye, but complied. He looked over and studied her carefully. Her long, flaming red spiral curls, slender frame, and a splash of freckles across her nose that gave a false impression of innocence. Yeah, she was pretty. Aidan started laughing again.
"You're a jerk." Zeke grumbled, getting up and heading back towards the house.
Aidan's enjoyment of the idea faded when Zeke left. It wasn't really all that funny; it wasn't like he didn't see it coming. He smirked to himself as he watched Zeke disappear inside.
"What was that all about?" Lacy demanded once Zeke returned from the yard. "I don't think I've seen Aidan laugh that hard since that time we got him drunk.
Zeke's mouth twitched a bit at this memory. But his face dropped again when he caught Lacy's eyes.
"It was nothing." He sighed.
"Nothing! Zeke…" She didn't have time to finish her sentence though, because Zeke had already left.
She sighed and went back to the girls' room to find something to do until line up later on. There was something up with them lately, and she couldn't figure out what it was. She slumped against the back of her bed miserably. It was like she was losing her best friends, her family. She dug under her pillow and pulled out a crumpled letter. She read over for the thousandth time since she'd first received it, and her eyes welled up with tears.
"Zeke, Aidan…what will I ever do without you?"
The clock chimed midnight, and outside the night was still, but Zeke was being tormented. He couldn't sleep at all. His conversation with Aidan that afternoon was still fresh in his mind. He was still pondering his own pathetic life when the door creaked open. He started to sit up, but didn't have time because whoever had entered threw themselves on top of him and slapped a hand over his mouth. Zeke jumped in shock and opened his eyes, only to see Lacy sitting next to him on the bed.
He carefully pried her hand away and glared at her, "Lacy," He hissed softly, "What the hell are you doing?"
"Shh," She said, "C'mon, wake up Aidan."
"What? Why?"
"Don't ask questions," She snapped, "Just do it."
Zeke sighed and slipped out of bed, not even caring that he was only in his boxers. He found his way over to Aidan's bed and poked him roughly. Aidan grumbled and pulled the pillow over his head.
"Aidan, wake up," Zeke yawned carelessly, "Lacy's gone nuts."
Lacy rolled her eyes and waited for Aidan to find his voice and sit up. "Again?" He asked.
Zeke nodded, and Lacy snorted. "Hurry up, both of you!"
Aidan finally managed to get out of bed and fumble around for some pants and an old T-shirt.
Lacy was still in her nightgown, but it wasn't particularity cold, outside, so she didn't care. She led the two boys down the stairs, and out into the yard.
They all knew where they were going; they'd snuck off the property this way so many times before.
The climbed over the fence and walked out through the vast field of weeds and long grass towards a huge willow on the other side. No one said a word until they reached their destination. Aidan seated himself comfortably in an old tire, and Zeke leaned against the mammoth trunk of the old tree.
"What's going on, Lacy?" Zeke asked, "Last I heard, this was not a planned trip."
Lacy sighed and sat on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest. "I have something very important to tell you guys."
"What…?" Zeke urged. Lacy said nothing, she just handed him and folded, furrowed piece of yellowed paper.
Zeke carefully unfolded it and skimmed its contents. As he read, his eyes grew wide.
"What?" Aidan asked, "What's it say?" He stood up and leaned over Zeke's shoulder to read it.
Zeke spoke aloud, "To whom it may concern; this letter is to inform you that I am hereby taking over guardianship of my niece, Lacy Burke. I would have come for her sooner, but I had only just recently learned of her existence…" Zeke trailed off and stared at her for a long time. Lacy couldn't look at them.
"Y-you're leaving…?" Aidan stuttered. "Forever?"
She nodded sadly. "The worst thing is that she has two twin girls, our age, and another girl who's younger. Can you imagine me living with all those girls?" She laughed bitterly.
Both boys tried to envision it, but neither could. Lacy had spent nearly her entire live hanging out with boys; she would never survive.
Lacy held back tears for as long as she could, before she broke down and ran off, trying to hide it from her friends.
"Lacy, wait!" Zeke called after her. He followed her quickly, leaving Aidan to stand under the weeping tree, in sheer bewilderment.
"Lacy…"
"Leave me alone." Lacy snapped as she sped up, yet still trying to keep herself from breaking out into a full run.
Zeke would not give up so easily, "Don't run away Lacy, come talk to us."
"There's nothing to say," She insisted, without even looking back.
Zeke heard her voice crack, and he reached forward and grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face him.
"I don't want you to go." Zeke said honestly.
"I don't want to go either." She admitted, allowing Zeke to pull her against him.
"Lacy I…" He couldn't finish his sentence. He tilted the sobbing girl's face up and looked at her for a long time, before leaning down and closing his mouth over hers. He pushed his tongue between her soft lips and kissed her for all he was worth. Strangely enough, though, she didn't seem to mind at all.
When he finally pulled back, Lacy could only stare at him.
"I…I'm sorry," He stuttered, he quickly turned his face away so she couldn't see him blush. But she was blushing too, and against her bright red hair, she looked like a beet.
Zeke began to laugh at the awkwardness. "You can't leave, Lacy." He told her. "No matter what, I won't let you."
"Ok…"
Am I really seeing this? Aidan had stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his two best friends making out in the field. He didn't know what to make of it. He couldn't believe that Zeke and Lacy…"Wow…he's got really bad timing." Maybe if he'd realised his feelings sooner, he would have been able to spend more time with her. Aidan sighed and stuffed his hands into his pockets before he turned and headed back towards the group home. He figured they could use some time alone, and he needed some sleep.
Aidan stood in the shadows when Lacy's Aunt came for her. She'd brought her three girls, and they all greeted Lacy with a warm hug. Lacy didn't look too thrilled to be going with them, but Aidan was almost jealous. At least she had a family, and people to love her. She even had Zeke. He would never admit it, but Aidan could tell that his friend had it bad for the spunky redhead.
It was sad, really, that they had to be parted so soon.
He looked around for his friend, but the spiky-haired demon was nowhere in sight.
"Do you live here?" A soft, feminine voice sneered at him. Aidan looked down and saw one of Lacy's cousins. She also had red hair, but hers was straight and more red-gold than bright red like Lacy's.
"Yes," He said before he returned to boring a hole in the wall just by staring at it.
"Are all orphans as dirty as you are?" She snickered. Her sisters behind her laughed.
Aidan glared at her, and she snorted and turned away. Lacy looked back at them sadly, and broke herself away to go over to him.
"Bye Aidan," She said, "I'm gonna miss you."
"Yeah, me too," He said lowly.
She laughed, "You know I will, Aidan. I'll write lots, OK?" "Sure…"
Lacy frowned, "You mad at me?"
"What for?" he blinked.
"For leaving."
"No," he said, straightening up. "I'm happy for you…"
"Huh?"
"Look at that, Lacy. You've got a family, a real family. And isn't that what we've always wanted?"
"I guess…but I feel like I've got more of a family here than I'll ever have with them."
"Hm…" Aidan was seriously considering this. "I'm going to hold you to that promise to write."
She smiled. "Have you seen Zeke?" She asked.
Aidan shook his head. "He disappeared early this morning. I bet he went back out to the willow."
Lacy looked ready to cry, "I wanted to say goodbye to him."
"Lacy! Come on! We have to go!" Her Aunt called after her. Lacy sighed and walked after her Aunt slowly. She was in no rush to leave.
As she stepped outside, she heard a distant voice. "Lacy! Lacy wait!"
Lacy stopped and turned around, and she saw Zeke running towards her. He didn't even stop once he reached her. He just grabbed her and kissed her passionately.
"Eww…" Her cousins whined. "That's so gross."
"I'll come find you," He promised her. "I'll find you once they let me out, OK?"
"OK," She smiled widely, but her cousins began pulling her away. Aidan would never forget the last words he heard her spoke. "Don't forget me!"
/>It didn't seem possible.
Once she was out of sight, Zeke left. Aidan heard him later, locked in the boys' room, crying.
I curse the person who created me. Whether it was god, or some divine power, or just some fluke, I hate it. I want to die. I want Eric to die. I don't want to have to live, only to face torment every day.How is it that he knows all my weak points? When all I want is to be left alone so I can cool off, he's right there in my face; when I want to talk to my friends on the internet, my only friends, he reminds me that I don't have a life. I have no friends to hang out with at school and gossip with and get into trouble with. No one to share my triumphs or my pains with, I have no one. Even the other rejects reject me.
I live in constant fear that, secretly, everyone hates me. That no one wants me around. I've started writing. I like indulging myself in fantasies that take me away from the problems of real life, the problems I can't deal with.
Sometimes I hope that people aren't really as bad as I make them out to be. But how can I believe that? I can't allow it to be true. I've never known anything but deceit and lies from other people. I am always avoiding even the minutest human contact.
If I go out there will be people to see me, to judge me. My head is always hung low, so I don't have to see what they think of me in their eyes.
Eric always reminds me that I don't have real friends.
In movies or TV shows even the biggest of losers have other losers to be friends with. Other losers who know what they're going through, and who like them anyways. I don't how much of a social outcast my friends are, if they're good friends, who cares?
The loners always seem like they don't like people, like me. They seem to want to be alone; but is it true? Or, like me, do they long to have the companionship they've been denied. Are they really that cold? I wish I could be that cold. To not care what other people think of me, to be able to hold my head high when I walk down the hall in school. To stand up for what I believe in. Do I even believe in anything?
People are so conceited, so selfish; they never stop to think about the point of teasing or judging other people. Why spend your life ridiculing others, instead of living it, having fun, and just being yourself. Why can't people be like that? Why is it in the human nature to cause suffering? Why? Why? Why? I wish I knew. I feel like cutting my hair, slitting my wrists, mutilating myself in some way. I'm not sure why.
Sometimes I hear that people cut themselves to know that they're alive. Not me. I know I'm alive. It's a horrible, shocking truth that I don't want to face. Someone deliver me. Someone please come rescue me!
Sadly, that diary entry reflected Saige's entire life. It depressed her to even think about it, to think that no one really cared. She did have a few friends, but she couldn't allow herself to get close to them. What if they hurt me?
She wasn't that bad looking; in fact, if she believed it, she could be gorgeous. She knew people who were downright plain, but still people worshiped them. How could that be?
Saige ran her hands over her slim body, pulling her T-shirt tight against her curves. No, she wasn't that bad at all. Sometimes, when she was alone. She felt like she really was beautiful; but all that confidence disappeared when she returned to the real world.
Her hair was long and thick; she was blonde, although that didn't seem to really be going for her at all. If guys preferred blondes, she was an exception. Her eyes were small, grey; but she knew they had once been vibrant. She'd seen the pictures, remembered the times when she was still happy.
"It's so tough being a teenager," Eric would mock her. But it was especially when she had to live with him.
"Saige!" He screamed down the hall. Come out here and pick up your pack sack!"
Saige gritted her teeth. It's a backpack you dumb ass. She got up slowly and clenched her fists as she walked down the hall and grabbed her bag.
She could feel Eric's accusing eyes boring into her back as she walked past him. His eyes that ate away at her protective walls and fed on her fear, her anger, and her hate. She despised him. He was practically breathing down her neck by the time she'd gotten her bag. She had just reached her door when he called her back. "Saige…"
She took a deep breath before she turned around. "What?" She asked through clenched teeth.
"Uh, first of all, it's 'yes'." He growled.
"Fine, YES?" She glared at him murderously; hoping to inflict any kind of pain on him through her eyes, her pupils spewing forth fire.
He said nothing; he just looked at her, his mouth hanging open, his arm outstretched towards some random object on the floor. He looked like an idiot. She wondered if he knew that.
"What?" She urged. She wasn't about to try and read his mind to see what he wanted.
"Uh, are you forgetting something?"
Why did he always have to start every sentence with 'uh'?
She sighed deeply, "I dunno, Eric," She spat, "Am I?"
"You tell me,"
She groaned; she hated playing theses guessing games. "What is this?" He asked, jabbing his coarse finger at something on the ground.
Saige leaned forward and studied the object carefully, scrutinizing it until finally she answered: "It looks like a sock, Eric." She'd admit it; now she was doing it just to piss him off. Damn her stubbornness! She got it from her father.
"Well pick it up!"
Rolling her eyes, Saige did as she was told and grabbed the sock. As she went to pick it up, Eric started to bitch loudly.
"Like, you shouldn't just leave things lying around! Think for once! You're not going to get anywhere in life. You're lazy!"
Saige straightened out and glared at him.
"Don't give me that look!"
"What look?" She glared harder, "This look?"
"Are you being smart with me?"
"No, Eric! I can't be smart with you! Because I'm just a stupid little kid!"
"That's it…" He started.
"No, that's not it," She was on a roll, and she wasn't about to stop now. "I hate you, Eric! I'm sick of you being ill-tempered, and rude, and complaining about everything you can find."
He opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off. "You know what, Eric, maybe you should consider taking the stick out of your ass before you shove another one up there!"
"What did you just say to me?"
"You heard me," she snapped indignantly.
He grabbed her arm, "You go to your room, an don't even think about coming out all weekend!"
"Let go of me!" She screamed. She pulled away from him, grabbed her shoes and jacket and took off.
"Saige! Come back here right now!" He called, arousing a few of the neighbours, who poked their heads out their doors to see who was causing all the ruckus. Saige hurried out of the apartment, breathing in the fresh air of the outside world. She walked stiffly across the road and down the street to the park. She knew she wouldn't come back for a very long time. But she didn't realise just how long a time it would be.
