For my blueyed baby...
well my secret admirer, things are coming together fast now. 'mr creepy dude' (as all of the teens and half of the adults who ever met him calls him) is playing games with my mail, among other things. I think its time for the truth to come out, for him to finally start telling the truth instead of being a pity whore and pretending all the time. I have much to do, and calls to make, but I'll update here when I get there. I hope your ok, and life is treating you well. Your one of the most terrific people on the planet, and you deserve it. We need more people like you out there... 07.07.07 I read this and it touched me... When I glance into a mirror Its your image that I see. There in my reflection Is Gods Miracle to me. Whenever I laugh aloud I hear your voice resound. In every step I take Your graceful gait is found. I glance upon my hands To find your fingers there. I see your frame In all the clothes I wear. I feel what you are thinking Before you even speak. I have your dreams inside of me And know the things you seek. Sometimes when I smile, The grin belongs to you. I see your mirrored image And know that I am two. What a fascinating thing To have the chance to see, Myself within another Living, breathing, Me. 05.16.07 GONE. I left mr closet porn freak (4-6 hours a day/10 on weekends)who had me do all of his education for him (online classes they required him to take in order for him to keep his job), so he could keep his well paying job with bennies (thus allowing him to keep his house too). Once his car died, i found him another (not much to look at, but it enabled him to keep his job). Appreciate it? NOPE, not him. REMEMBER IT? NOPE, just treated me and my children like burdens.. so did his family. He didnt pay for my clothing, my childrens clothing, not food, not medical, not medicines, not glasses, not dental, not school trips, not school supplies, hair cuts...etc etc etc. HE PAID NOTHING FOR US, yet took all the credit. Made himself look like a hero at my expense. IN any case, I'm out of there. I am also considering consulting the church about the whole thing if they keep playing their games... I may need to just put it all in Gods hands, thats all. 04.15.07 It's just me in this crazy world. sometimes, i feel so alone. My boyfriend just stays in his locked office for hours with his online porn. oh well, guess i should find someone, who will take time to even be with me huh? blue eyes Hold me, love me, make me feel safe and protected from this crazy ass world. busy, busy, busy...we both are but you are always on my mind... hoping you get this message, hoping all is well with you, hoping life is treating you well, knowing you deserve it. Me? I met a guy who was patient, kind, thoughtful, laid back, etc you know me, i'm mellow, i need someone mellow. so, i thought it would be a good match. and guess what? we moved in together.... and, he was not what he pretended to be...not at all. and just like my ex's family, his family justify all of his (and theirs too, i'm sure) bad behavior. is there some school out there where they teach families to justify bad behavior? ASSHOLES-R-US, or something? anyway, he's a lot like my ex, but not as extreme...but thats still bad enough, in my opinion. he was mean to me, AND MY KIDS, among other things. why are some men so mean to their women? The final straw; i snapped a tooth off, and have been sufferig for a bit now. (pain is an understatement) what do you think he does? (despite the fact he has $5,000 credit available on all credit cards) He files his taxes and claims me and my children (yeah, really) comes home in a BRAND NEW CAR... yup, he did. oh, thats not the best part... NEVER ONCE did he ask me "hey, ya need anything" NEVER ONCE did he ask my kids "hey, ya need anything?" NEVER ONCE. My sister paid for my tooth to be addressed!! He thinks he's funny...because he doesnt pay squat for me or my children. Never has. Not shoes, boots, flip flops, not clothing, not food, not doctors, not medicines, not eye glasses, not gas in my car, not school supplies, not.... ANYTHING. NOTHING....and he claims us? is he kidding me?! its tax fraud, and he knows it. in any case, now, i can't trust my own judgement. now i find myself with someone who was the complete opposite of what he portrayed. why do people do that? put on fake fronts? why arent they just themselves? whats up with all of the prentending? i just dont get it.... in anycase, i cant take it anymore. i gave it my best shot, and no matter what i do (or my kids do), its never right, never fast enough and never good enough. my friends and family have seen what he's really like and they cant stand 'em. i'm leaving.i told him so, and he's p'off. i deserve better then that.  |
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