~*Some of the funniest quotes ever*~
Chandler: You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Ross: I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
Joey: You could drink the fat.
Ross: Hi, welcome, to an adult conversation.
"Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey" – Friends (Ross)
Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Rachel: You're so pretty.
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
(Ross gestures his consent.)
Joey: Strip joint!
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself!
Monica: ..Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Ross: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
"Is that it Dad, did the penguin tell you to do it"
"It is cool to pee your pants!!!"
"Shampoo is better it goes on first and makes the hair nice and clean, Noooooo...conditioner is better, it goes on last and makes the hair silky and smooth, no, no.....stop looking at me swan"
[about Snow White] Magic Mirror: She lives with seven men, but she's not easy.
The Donkey: Oh no! I can't feel my toes. [Looks down and yelps.] I don't have any toes! [Sits down.] I need a hug.
The Donkey: Hey, what about Shrek? He's ugly 24/7!
Laney: What is this, some sort of dork outreach program?
Laney: I feel just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, ya know, except for the whole hooker thing!
Laney Boggs: Screw the dolphins! Jesse Jackson: A guy tried that last year, banned from Sea World for life.
Zach Siler: Laney, I was wondering if you'd like to-- [Laney walks away.] --embarass me horribly in front of all these people.
Cindy Campbell: Ray, if you see Bobby, will you tell him that I love him? Ray: Okay, if I see Bobby, I'll tell him I love him.
Heather: The First Amendment gives us the right to say what we want. Teacher: Oh, shut the fuck up.
Greg: A small penis is a disability! Would you laugh at someone in a wheelchair!
Black TV Reporter: Reporting live from Black TV, white folks are dead and we're getting the fuck out of here.
"I see pride, I see power,…I see a bad ass mother who don’t take no shit from nobody"
"How about I draw a line down your head so it looks like a butt"
"Remove head from sphincter then drive"
"Don’t think for one second you had any effect whatsoever on my panties"
"Courtney: Darcy thinks she should get captain 'cause her dad pays for everything. Whitney: He should use some of that money to buy her a clue."
"Carver: She puts the "ass" in "massive."
"Darcy: You put the "lewd" in "deluded."
"Whitney: She puts the "itch" in "bitch."
"Courtney: She puts the "whore" in "horrifying."
"Courtney: Let's not put the "duh" in dumb! "
"Sparky: Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded."
"Sparky: Report those compliments to your ass before it gets so big it forms its own website! "
"Eric Matthews: Operation "Thong" has commenced. Gracie Hart: Why don't you stun-gun yourself?"
Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous... You want to kiss me... You want to hug me... You want to love me... You want to smooch me... You want to hug me.
Gracie Hart: It's lite beer, and she's gonna throw it up anyway.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": Well, my idea of a perfect date would be April 23rd. Because it's not too warm or too cold, and all you need is a light jacket.
Gracie Hart: I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!
Victor Melling: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.
"She said they’re satan’s panties!"
To look at more quotes just like these, go to, http://www.atlyrics.com/quotes/
