The World's Greatest Criminal Mind
RATIGAN: My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious, the most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career. A crime to top all crimes, a crime that will live in infamy! Tomorrow evening, our beloved monarch celebrates her Diamond Jubilee. And, with the enthusiastic help of our good friend, Mr. Flaversham, it promises to be a night she will never forget. Her last night, & my first, as supreme ruler of all Mousedom!
From the brain that brought you the Big Ben caper
The head that made headlines in every newspaper
And wondrous things like the Tower Bridge Job
That cunning display that made London a sob
Now comes the REAL tour de force!
Tricky & wicked, of course!
My earlier crimes were fine for their times
But now that I'm at it again
An even grimmer plot has been simmering in my great criminal brain!
CHORUS OF THUGS: Even meaner?
You mean it?
Worse than the widows & orphans you drowned?
You're the best of the worst around!
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
The rest fall behind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
The world's greatest criminal mind!
RATIGAN: Thank you, thank you. But it hasn't all been champagne & caviar. I've had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable second-rate detective, Basil Of Baker Street!
THUGS: Boo!!
RATIGAN: For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans. I haven't had a moment's peace of mind!
THUGS: Aww...
RATIGAN: But, all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil, can stand in my way! All will bow before me!
CHORUS OF THUGS: Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
You're tops, & that's that!
To Ratigan
To Ratigan...
BARTHOLOMEW: To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat!
RATIGAN: What was that? WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
THUG 1: Oh, he didn't mean it, Professor.
THUG 2: I-it was just a slip of the tongue!
RATIGAN: I AM NOT A RAT!!!
THUG 3: 'Course you're not. You're a mouse!
THUG 4: Yeah, that's right! Right! A mouse!
THUG 5: Yeah, a big mouse!
RATIGAN: SILENCE! Oh, my dear Bartholomew, I'm afraid that you've gone & upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me.
BARTHOLOMEW: Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
You're the tops & that's that (Oh, dear.)
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
To Ratigan, the world's greatest...
FELICIA: Meow.
RATIGAN: Oh, Felicia, my precious, my baby. Did Daddy's little honey bun enjoy her tasty treat? I trust there will be no further interruptions. And now, as you were singing?
CHORUS OF THUGS: Even louder we'll shout it!
No one can doubt what we know you can do!
You're more evil than even you!
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
You're one of a kind!
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
The world's greatest criminal mind!
Let Me Be Good to You
Dearest friends, dear gentlemen
Listen to my song...
Life down here's been hard for you
Life has made you strong...
Let me lift the mood...
With my attitude...
Hey, fellas
The time is right!
Get ready
Tonight's the night!
Boys, what you're hopin' for will come true...
Let me be good to you...
You're feelin' all alone...
You rough guys
The best of you sailors & bums
All o' my chums!
So dream on
And drink your beer
Get cozy
Your baby's here!
You won't be misunderstood
Let me be good to you!
Hey, fellas!
I'll take off all my blues...
Hey, fellas!
There's nothin' I won't do
Just for you!
So dream on
And drink your beer
Get cozy
Your baby's here!
Hey, boys, I'm talkin' to you!
Your baby's gonna come through...
Let me...be good...to...YOU!
Yeah!
Goodbye So Soon
RATIGAN: Goodbye, so soon
And isn't this a crime?
We know by now that time knows how to fly
So here's goodbye, so soon
You'll find your separate way
With time so short
I'll say so long
And go...
So soon...
Goodbye!
You followed me
I followed you
We were like each other's shadows for a while...
Now as you see
This game is through
So although it hurts
I'll try to smile
As I say...
Goodbye, so soon
And isn't this a crime?
We know by now that time knows how to fly
So here's goodbye, so soon
You'll find your separate way
With time so short
I'll say so long
And go...
So soon...
Goodbye!
CHORUS: Goodbye, so soon
And isn't this a crime?
We know by now that time knows how to fly
So here's goodbye, so soon
You'll find your separate way
With time so short
I'll say so long
And go...
So soon...
Goodbye!
RATIGAN: You followed me
I followed you
We were like each other's shadows for a while...
Now as you see
This game is through
So although it hurts
I'll try to smile
As I say...
Goodbye, so soon
And isn't this a crime?
We know by now that time knows how to fly
So here's goodbye, so soon
You'll find your separate way
With time so short
I'll say so long
And go...
So soon...
Goodbye!
Goodbye So Soon (Reprise)
Goodbye, so soon
And isn't it a shame?
We know by now that time knows how to fly
So here's goodbye, so soon
We'll go our separate ways
With time so short
I'll say so long
And go...
So soon...
Goodbye!
Goodbye, so soon
And isn't it a shame?
We know by now that time knows how to fly
So here's goodbye, so soon
We'll go our separate ways
With time so short
I'll say so long
And go...
So soon...
Goodbye!
