* a look back into the workings of my mind

bekah's

heaven

*home* *about me* *cool links* *go penguins!* *poetry & stuff* *my pictures*

april 2002

back entries of my miscellaneous home page writings.

~ tuesday | april 30th, 2002 | 10:21 pm ~

wow...talk about all hell breaking loose. i was at work today, helping out megan with this big copy order we took in on saturday when megan started talking to mimi about the big order she took which basically f**ked up my saturday. mimi wouldn't listen to megan's point of view, but tried to turn it around on megan, to which i jumped in to try to defend megan. to make a long story short, mimi ended up totally pissing megan off & they broke out into a big arguement. needless to say, as you can guess, mimi ended up thinking that she was completely right, & didn't deserve the disrespect that megan gave her. but me, i totally sided with megan & ended up having to help calm megan down before she left. but seriously, this bullshit has to stop, & megan was completely right in bringing this to mimi's attention that we're sick of her hypocritic shit.

*sigh*. i was totally looking forward to this morning because i could get sleep (yay! sleep!). so, yea, of course on my day to sleep in kenny has to call at 8:15 am & wake me up. then he showed up at my house at 8:30am. yea, great...i'm trying to sleep & i haveta hear his voice. that, & he's always trying to pick fights with me by talking complete shit. i especially love when he tries to purposely get on my nerves by talking trash thats not true...you gotta love that when you haveta defend yourself against kenny. it's almost like it's more or less a complete waste of my time. no wait, it is a complete waste of my time. so glad i could clear that up.

alright, isles lost tonight to the maple leafs. YAY! hehe, as you probably can tell, i don't like the isles. but my friend mike does. then again, this is the same guy that was wondering how the sabres were doing in the playoffs. anyways, as much as i love kaspariatis (& believe me, with that new haircut, he's HOT!), i'm gonna stick with the sharks. why? cuz the guys need the support, & dude, i would so love to see the sharks get the stanley cup this year. how can you deny it to a team with such a cute logo? (no rob, no...no blues).

~ tuesday | april 30th, 2002 | 12:27 am ~

yeps, i must try to update more often. but darnit, i am just so darn lazy...& you know, updating stuff takes time & effort. oh wait, interviews with nhl players on espn2...alright, i'm updating. i'd rather type something here than trying to understand what some of those guys are saying. it's like trying to find meaning in the new korn song "here to stay". no matter how many times you listen to it, you just can't fully understand all the words that are in the song. strange, but maybe it's better this way.

*sigh*. well, don't be jealous, but i think i get to see cliff 3 times this week. God, how did i ever get this lucky? what girl wouldn't love working with a guy who constantly talks about guns & stuff? sure, fearing for your life is a definate plus when working in retail. it makes your job that much more exciting.

jenny's excited. she's graduating at the end of may, & she's all stoked cuz she's gonna throw herself a party. that means jenny's friends here. which means all her guy friends. which means mass chaos. which means drama that's more exciting than those daytime soap operas. anyone wanna come?

alright, so other things happening in my life. i think leon is officially being a pain in my ass again, since he's literally been calling me every friday night to see if i'll chill & stuff with him. dude, that guy's a mental case. he's the main reason that they invented mace. i highly doubt i'd trust myself alone with him in a crowded party, much less an empty house. put it this way - it's a real turnoff when the first time you talk to a guy he's already talking about making out with you & leaning towards the idea of sex (ummm, yea, that's weird). i love when people have no friends so they automatically come crawling back expecting someone who was never their friend to begin with to just start acting like a friend. can't people take hints? guess not!

~ thursday | april 25th, 2002 | 10:30 pm ~

i don't make everyone happy • but it's ok, and it's ok • i've been through this before • there's nothing else, there's
nothing else • i don't know why • everytime i wanna fly • somebody always tries • to hold me down, hold me
down • i'm losing my faith • every single time i try • the water's on my side • don't let me drown, let me drown i'm in one of those emotionless moods. i don't feel happiness, but yet, i can't feel sadness either. i'm kinda just in a state of being. you know, when you just feel like you're there, but you feel nothing at all. i guess i've just had too much put on me in the past week or so. i've been trying everyday since tuesday to try to reach eric, but all i seem to get is a phone that rings & rings, & a message that finally says "the customer you are trying to reach has turned their answering machine off. try again later". so, basically, i have no idea how he's doing. it's kinda shitty that we live in such a world where it's "OK" to completely fuck over people that actually WORK. just goes to show me once more that yes, the district i work in is run by complete assholes. plus, it completely sucks that i've kinda lost one of the only people i've actually trusted. it's sad when you have to have someone earn your trust, but unfortunately where i work, being a backstabber actually makes you a god. look at victor. yea, there's a god for you. wtf ever.

*sigh*. not only that, but my parents are really unsure about my dad's future. he hasn't really made a clear decision of what he's going to do, but whatever choice he makes, it basically means that life for me at my home of 24 years probably is gonna come to an end. which means, yea, apartment, or something. the most depressing part is going through years of my memories & having to decide which i wanna keep & which i want to send on it's way. between being unsure about a friend & having my mom constantly reminding me that "eva, you haveta go through your stuff...you can't take half the stuff with you if we move" kinda has me in this really bad emotional slump. seriously, i don't think i have smiled much in the past week. no one seems to get that for the first time in awhile, i could honestly say i was really truly happy. but then again, it seems like my parents could care less. everything (except for work really) was pretty great. but now it's kinda like looking for the silver lining to the clouds, but i haven't found it yet. guess i gotta keep looking.

~ tuesday | april 23rd, 2002 | 10:43 pm ~

dude, i swear, this just hasn't been a good week for me. first, i wake up at like 4am on sunday morning & can't manage to fall back asleep. monday my cat halie accidently knocked over this 2 quart brandy glass that i was borrowing from my dad to hold my glass fish, & ends up getting glass & water all over my bedroom (i am STILL in the process of removing all the glass pieces that are scattered around my room). then, i go into work today & hear from mimi that eric was fired. yea, it's always great when the first thing you hear when you go into work is that one of your good friends no longer has a job. plus, i get chosen to make the trip to kinko's all the way out in east brunswick. joy of all joys. at 4:30pm no less. i mean, c'mon. please people, just MAKE me drive in rush hour traffic. i only said yes to get away from everything & hopefully try to gain a sense of calm & composure, neither which i never really managed to find. i spent an hour & a half sitting in traffic, not really going much of anywhere, & lucky for me, all radio stations decided that yes, they would all play the same song just to further drive me up a wall. i get to kinko's just to find out i haveta argue with the guy about the pricing he's giving me, & the price he quoted to mimi. so yay, now i get to call mimi on my cell to explain to her the situation & tell her to call the guy. so they work out the price. but wait...now i haveta wait for the proof. now, anyone who saves a file so that it ends out being some crazy insane 100MB, 300MB, or something seriously needs to think about having their heads examined, because, hello! how long do we think this is gonna take to go to the printer? an insanely crazy amount of time! so now, finally i get a proof after being in kinko's for only an hour or so, & voila, to my surprise, i have to come back for the job later. so now, eva gets to go to omax on her day off. oh yea, & no offense to all you kinko's people out there, but ummm, i don't have much faith in kinko's for much of anything.

but yay, i get to go back to work at 7:30. i have the new guy k.c. bugging me because he "wants my job in copymax because all i do is stand around & don't haveta do any work. i have the 'easy job'". whatever! at that point, seriously, don't even say anything to get on my frickin' nerves because i'd already had about as much as i could possibly take in one day. i'm kinda half leaning on being really pissed, but at the same time really depressed & wanting to cry. like, i seriously don't think much of anything has gone my way the past week or so.

awesome song of the day: "hold me down" by tommy lee. yea, i wasn't too big a fan of the whole pamela anderson lee - tommy lee divorce thing, but i heard this song today, & it has almost instantly become one of my favorite songs. so check it out, okie?

~ sunday | april 21st, 2002 | 4:00 am ~

alright, yea, it's 4 am. *sigh*...i can't sleep, so what the heck, i'll just take & update this page, because it sure beats the heck outta trying to find something on tv to watch (well unless i am way into infomercials & crazy stuff like that, & as boring as those sound, i highly doubt any of those would put me to sleep. it's kinda like, well, some annoying billboard or light. ya know, the ones that you just can't help staring at, & wa la! before you know it you have just wasted an hour or so of your life just staring at something pointless). ah well. i've just decided to add a few more mp3s to my already really bizarre collection. korn "here to stay" & britney spears "overprotected". great mix there eh? i should actually consider taking some of them to work to put on the computer in copymax so we have some "real" music to listen to, but then again, do i really feel like listening to cliff bitch & moan for an hour or so because i'm taking up precious hard drive space? (ohhh, yea, there we go. i'd get to listen to cliff, the "computer expert". he's about as knowledgable about computers as say, oh, mimi. scary huh?).

well, the good news is that i heard from jenny that victor is outta there as soon as he gets his bonus check. dude, it's so great that we have these people just kinda hanging around, sucking up otherwise useless oxygen, just so they can claim an extra $1,000 or so dollars to probably waste on useless stuff anyway. all i can say is, if it was that easy, why didn't we just throw some cash at him like a year ago & get rid of him then? i definately would have been much happier. isn't it just a little hypocritical when someone stands there, leaning against the registers asking you why you aren't working when you just walk up to b.s. to a coworker for a few minutes? or how about the "oh, you're a half an hour late" when hey, he dragged his butt in there about an hour & a half late. dude, so long...i'm just hoping you don't get the invitation to the party we'll be throwing the day after you leave.

alright, i should really try to get some sleep. i'm gonna look like a zombie in the morning. it's already bad enough i already always look so damn tired (i'm gonna blame the allergies, thank you very much to this really wacky weather we've been having this year). i think i should take monday & try to destress myself somehow. i just have too much stuff that's been crashing down on me lately & i don't deal with stress too well. i never have, & unless i find stress management for dummies, i don't think i ever will. oh well. have a good weekend. g'nite.

~ wednesday | april 17th, 2002 | 11:33 pm ~

*sigh*. i suck. i like rarely update this anymore. why? because i am lazy, darnit! do you even realize how much thought it takes to actually type something somewhat intelligent here? a lot.

alright, so this must have been the day that, well, nothing went right. first of all, it was hot...and i mean HOT. like 95 degrees or something. so of course, i wanted to be outside, but i didn't want to be outside. then i had jenny home most of the day & she was in a bitchy mood. my dad comes home from work & announces that yes, the company had made it's decision & it had decided to move the entire iselin, nj branch to somewhere in pennsylvania about an hour & a half away. so now my dad needs to decide if he wants to move or to retire from his job. then, my dumb car decides to have yet another issue...the plastic protector thing under the hood placed right before the engine decide to break or something, so i had to drive home with this plastic thing scraping the ground. always fun. my dad just removed it until we can get something to replace it. yay. but the fun doesn't end there. i got to see kenny yet again tonight (am i a lucky girl or what?). he actually came over to see jenny & try to give her a bracelet of some sort or another (i'm guessing it was an "i love you" one, cuz he already gave her one). yea, that's it. can't get love? try to buy it through gold jewelry. hey, you never know, maybe it works for kenny.

tomorrow i get to go back to the fun that is working with cliff. in megan's words "i am so glad that someone realized we had all this extra oxygen just hanging around...so i'm glad they found someone to suck it all up". yeps, basically he's a piece of furniture that just constantly gets in your way & bitches about the dell every now & then. he's only been back a few days & he's already managed to break the HP printer we had in the back. now that takes skills.

you know how you look at your parents & you tell yourself over & over again "i hope i am nothing like them when i get older"? that's kinda how i feel about my mom right now. she's started this whole "the planets & stars are aligning, so that definately means another terror attack is gonna occur". she actually goes outside every night just to check to see if anything is aligned. i just think she's a little paranoid. if i ever get that way, i hope someone reaches out & kicks me or something. *sigh*, ah well. i have a fun filled day with cliff, & since i wanna be fully conscious for every single wonderful moment of it (just so i can hear him tell me a few more times that someone is gonna shoot me, kill me, or something to that nature), i am gonna head off to bed. more later i hope!

~ sunday | april 7th, 2002 | 11:23 pm ~

alright, dude, i suck. i haven't updated this in almost a week. talk about eva slipping once again...as i recall, this happened with my other webpage & eventually i ended up losing the password. hehe, i'm heading down a very dangerous path here :p. the good news is jenny is going away to miami, florida in just a few short days & yes, i do get a nice little vacation from her. alas, the bad news is i haveta cover her hours at work (ok, does that sound like a fair deal to you? i didn't think so). ah well. ya win some, ya lose some.

on another note, i put up some of the pictures from my trip to pittsburgh on my photo site. thanks sweetie for letting me have those, cuz heaven only knows i never seem to take many pictures myself. i honestly suck when it comes to taking pictures. i was one of those children that at age 12 was still trying to just grasp the concept that you haveta hold the camera still or else your picture ends up fuzzy. hehe, now if only i could figure out how to hook my digital camera up to the computer, i'll be all set. it's pretty sad when you know you have pictures on there from like october or something.

ohhhhh, very very very good news on the copymax front. cliff quit! so, of course, megan & i are totally happy about that. more hours for us, & much less stress & frustration. i'd be happy if they quit messing with my schedule. i think they change my days at least three times before they put out the "final" schedule. weird thing is i'm off this monday, but i haveta close on tuesday, & of course friday. i guess victor still felt the need to screw me over with 3 closings, which isn't gonna happen this summer.

oh well, watch a losing team...penguins play rangers tomorrow, 7pm, on msg. that's what i'll be doing. *sigh* depressing...

~ monday | april 1st, 2002 | 10:09 pm ~

hmmm, thinking about things that really annoy me, i can think of one that especially comes to mind. it has to be those friends that once they find a significant other seem to forget that yes, their other friends & a little thing we call a life, actually still do exist. oh well, you can only hope that if something goes wrong they don't come running back to you. enough said.

wow, i'm watching this movie on usa that kinda has my attention. why? just because it's set in mellon arena during the stanley cup playoffs & features the pittsburgh penguins. dude, like, martin straka's in this & stuff. that guy rocks! it's also pretty neat cuz i was just there last week, so now like, watching this i can think about my nice little pittsburgh trip. awesome baby!

ahh, yay...back to the work thing tomorrow. which means, back to working all alone while mimi & cliff sit on their butts, or something like that. i especially love it when mimi tries to take credit for something i have done, such as solved a customer issue. yes, mimi, you can take all the credit that you want. but we all know who does most of the work back there. i can't even begin to tell you have much i am looking forward to next week, just because the end of the week for me is gonna be hell. i get to work 8-3 on thursday (not bad), but then i close on friday (3-10), back on saturday 5pm-til whenever for inventory, then close on sunday. ouch. of course, just to make things a little more interesting, it's daylight savings time on sunday, which means i get to miss out on a whole extra hour of sleep that i really could use after saturday night. *sigh*. oh well, c'est le vie.