Moving On

I look around me and feel great sadness descend on me. Look at what I have unwillingly caused: pain to many people years after I have passed on, pain to the people who had meant the most to me. I never meant for it to happen this way, I never wanted this. I walk closer to the man lying on the bed. I reach out to touch his red hair and my hand passes through him. I had been happy with him; he had made me forget the pain I had felt over my fiancé's passing. It took a while, though. For a long time I had hated him for what he had done. But as I came to know him, I began to care for him. And I even started to love him, not the type of love that I had felt for the other, but it was love nonetheless.

I thought that I could protect him, and I did, but I also hurt him. As I felt his katana hit me, I was happy. I would finally get to be with the one who completed me. What a selfish thought. I did not know then all the problems I had created. As he held me in his arms I was happy. I had made up for the feelings of hatred I had once held for him. He never deserved those feelings; he deserved a better life. What had happened in the past had not been his fault. I wanted him to live his life and be happy. But that is not what happened. As I breathed my last breath I saw the face of the man who had been taken from me. I reached out to him but was unable to go to him. I was being held back by something. When I turned around I saw Kenshin crying over my body, and I saw the betrayal and hatred in my brothers' eyes. It was then that I realized that I was not free from this world, that I would not be free until I finished what I had started here. I have been unable to move on. I can't do it until they let go of me and the past.

So for almost 13 years I have watched over him and my brother, and I have cried over them, especially my brother. Poor Enishi. So lost and hopeless and alone. I can never make up what I have done to him. Now he is filled with hate and plans of revenge. And Kenshin, Kenshin will be joining me soon. This will cause pain to all those who he holds dear. I can't let that happen, I have to make Kenshin see that there is another who needs him more than ever. A person who loves him more than I did, more than I ever could. I have to make him see the other part of him. So I enter his dream. He is sitting alone, an air of sadness and despair surrounds him. He hears me approach and looks up at me. I meet his eyes and smile at him. "Your smile is so beautiful." He says. "I want to see you always smiling."
"I will always smile, as long as you are smiling, anata."
He smiles up at me. I move closer and touch his scarred cheek. "There is someone else who wants to see you smile too, anata. Someone who is waiting for you to come so she can smile again." His eyes widen in shock. "Yes, anata, she is still alive, and waiting for you. Go to her." He stands up. "Don't let my memory hold you back from your true feelings, she is the one meant for you. I was just the first step in your path towards her. Don't hold on to the pain and guilt over my death anymore. It wasn't your fault. It was no one’s fault, it was just something that was meant to be." While I was talking I see that he understands. He had reached a similar conclusion on his own. Still my last words surprise him. "Create a new life together." I smile at him again as I fade into the background.

I watch as he wakes up and see the happy looks on the faces of his friends, his family. I know that I don't have to worry about him anymore. He will pull through without me now. The only thing left to do is to see to my brother. I go to him and watch him as he stares of into the distance. Enishi, I wish you could see past your pain. I have to help you. You are not a bad person, just a hurt little boy. How can I stop you from going down this path of destruction you have started on? How can I make you see that this is not what I wanted of you? This was never what I wanted. I hear a sound behind me and turn around. I see her standing looking at my brother with great sadness and understanding.

I walk closer to her and stare into her eyes. This girl is only a year younger than I had been when I died, but she seems to me more wise than I ever was. She never feared or hated Kenshin. From the moment she met him she accepted him for who he was. She is truly worthy of Kenshin, and fits him in a way I never could. I hope that after all this is done they will be happy together. I touch her check and whisper, "Take care of him." I see her start as if she felt my touch and heard what I said. Could she have heard what I have said? She smiles directly at me. "Of course I will. Arigato, Tomoe-san." I look at her in shook. She heard me and responded? This is the first time that has ever happened to me. I wish I could have known her, I think we would have gotten along well. Perhaps in our next lives we will meet again. I would like that.

Time passes and soon Kenshin and my brother meet face to face again. I watch as they fight, and I feel the fear in me grow. But it all turns out well in the end. My brother has finally understood my feelings. Hopefully now he will live the kind of life he has denied himself before. One free from hate, and revenge. I am free to go now. But I have waited over thirteen years to be with him, what are a couple of more months? There is something I want to see first. The day I have been waiting for has finally come. I feel tears in my eyes as I watch as Kenshin gets married. But I am not sad; they are tears of joy. This is what I wanted to see. Now that I know that all will turn out well, I am ready for my new journey. I smile as they kiss. Be happy you two, you deserve it. They fade from view and I sigh as I feel strong arms wrap around me. Finally, I am at peace. I smile as I prepare for my new journey.