*****

Todd had stared at the phone for a long time. First, he was addressing it silently as he tried to make some sense of the feelings he had about the "Anonymous Tip" who expected him first thing tomorrow morning. There was something he was missing--he could feel it. Whether it was the sharply tuned intuition of a newspaper man, or something else, he didn't know, but it nagged him nonetheless. It eluded him. He'd have to wait. Something he'd never been good at.

When he resigned himself to not knowing, he flopped down on the sofa, but his attention fell to the phone yet again.

Willing it to ring. He wanted to hear her voice. Things she would say, and the way she would say them ran through his mind in an endless flow of memories, but he wanted more. He wanted the real thing. But he had to forget. If he didn't, the desire to love her would consume him, and if he let that take control, the odds had it that it would consume her too. That was a gamble he couldn't take---not with Delgado's heart.

He needed to forget what her voice sounded like, and the way her mouth moved as the words tripped off of her tongue. The way she looked so intently into his eyes, listening, taking him in, understanding him like no other. When he talked to her, she took him so far into herself, hanging on his words as if they really "meant something". She made him feel worth something. With her he felt less like the walking dead, and more alive than he'd ever believed he would.

Without her, he felt the darkness closing in around him like a fist, squeezing his heart, and then the rest of him until he felt like he couldn't breathe.

…can't give in…I lived this way before her…I fought this battle alone every day of my life…I can't let it take me…I have to find a way to go on…without her. I have to find my strength without her…I'd die to let her live…have to let her be free…whatever happens…that's all that matters…

Starr came out of the kitchen with her dish of cornflakes, tilting the dish and spilling them every which way as she hurried over to wrap one arm around Todd's leg.

"G'Morning Daddy!" She looked down at her cereal, swishing dangerously towards the sides again with her hugging motion. "Stay," she commanded them.

And for Starr…we have to make the best of this for Starr…one foot in front of the other for her… He ran a hand through his hair nervously.

Pull yourself together, Manning…

She was tugging on his pocket.

"What are you doing, trying to pick my pockets for spare change? Didn't I teach you better than that? You're not supposed to warn the person when you're about to steal their money…"

"Daaaaadddy…I'm trying to get your 'tension."

"You have my full tension. When you feel like you are going to explode, you're done!"

"Can we go see Tee today?"

Todd's face clouded over. Starr bit her lip but took a deep breath and forged on.

"She said I could see her whenever I wanted…"

"She's working Starr, don't you remember? Del---Tea works. She's a lawyer. She's busy chasing ambulances…"

Starr stared down at the floor, and then looked around the room, seeking a new argument.

Her eyes fell on the copy of the Banner that Todd's lackey had left on his doorstep so he could scan the competition.

"Look Daddy! Tee!"

"Keep an eye on your cereal, Starr. It's trying to be Born Free again." He absently picked up The Banner and stared. Starr was right. On the front page, Tea stood behind some guy…something shot through him, and he moved to the caption trying to swallow down the intense jealousy. Manny Velasquez. Convicted of Attempted Murder. Of a cop. The guy was caught by the film about to make a statement, and Tea had a comforting arm on his hand, holding him back, trying to calm him from doing something to destroy his case. He remembered those days, only she had never just been his defense lawyer. She was also his wife, right from the start. Tea was the guy's defense, nothing more. He breathed a sigh of relief, though he didn't even know he'd been holding his breath until he knew for sure… Her eyes seemed to glow with that certain determination that burned in their depths. Todd knew that look. Tea had something to prove, and she was going to fight this one with both barrels blazing. He had to smile. That was his Delgado.

He had to be there.

"Starr, get Judith to help you round up that cereal, ok? I've got to go….get a story for the Sun."

Starr grinned.

"At the Courtplace? Are you going to see Tee? You were looking at Tee like this," Starr made a face to like she was about to swoon, "…when you were reading that art'kle, so I bet you are!"

"JUDITH!!!" Todd screamed. Her head appeared from the kitchen, wary at his tone.

"Yes Mr. Manning?"

"No more Magnum PI reruns for Shorty, okay? Stick to that big Purple Doofus"

"Dinosaur, Daddy….and he's for babies."

"Whatever." He hugged her to him in a lightning quick motion and then headed for the door, his heart thumping so hard it was difficult to breathe.

He was going to see her. He'd have to be careful. He couldn't let on…She couldn't see the desperation he felt growing with each step closer to her.

*****

Todd got to the Llantano County Courthouse and was immediately swallowed up in a crowd of media sharks and onlookers desperate to get a good seat at the days proceedings. He shrugged the offending leeches off and elbowed his way through the crowd, feeling claustrophobic and uncomfortable. Usually this was his world, but today he had next to no interest in playing the role of reporter. That would come later, but for now, he just wanted to keep his eyes open for a glimpse of Tea. Surrounded by so many important key figures in Llanview, he knew this was a big case, and he wondered if Tea was holding up as well as she wanted to appear. He knew her strength ran deep especially when there was a true fight at hand, but he also knew that some of it was also a really good poker face covering her more vulnerable fears. She thought he didn’t see them, but she was wrong.

It would destroy her if she failed, he knew that. She hated to fail at anything she put her heart and soul into, and she gave that to almost everything she took on.

The crowd thinned, and his eyes found the guy from the paper, sitting with a guard at his side and a mini support squad collected around him. Tea was not among them.

‘Delgado, where the hell are you...’ His heart leaped into his throat. She should have been there by now....

*****

Tea woke with feeling in the pit of her stomach that something was very wrong. Slowly, she sat up in bed, attempting to clear away the cobwebs, to remember where she was, and to bring her sleep ridden thoughts up to the speed of the rest of the world. Her dreams had taken her to place which she was not anxious to leave behind. Had she allowed herself to stay behind in her fantasies, she would not have woken up alone. But as she looked at the surroundings, the guest bedroom at Carlotta's, reality hit her like a ton of bricks, flooding her senses until the truth of the situation…and her loneliness, could not be denied.

All at once, insistent knocking on the door ripped her from her thoughts, and she jumped from the confines of the comforter at the urgency in the knocking.

Could it be? Todd? Did something happen to Starr? What?! Or maybe…had he come for her?

Hell hath no fury like Todd Manning's knock…

Carlotta poked her head in the room, lines of worry etched in her face. Tea's hopes sunk before she even realized she had them to begin with--thoughts that she'd wished it was Todd at the door, insistent that she return to the place where she belonged---home, his arms---She shook her head….

Stop it!

"Carlotta, what is it? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Tea…weren't you supposed to be at the Courthouse a while ago already?"

Tea stared at her blankly for a minute…Her head hurt, she couldn't focus…

"Manny's trial….Tea, it's about to start, isn't it?"

Tea's eyes widened, and her face paled, as she glanced back and got a glimpse at her traitorous alarm clock. She swung back around to face Carlotta, a look of desperation in her eyes.

"How could I be SO STUPID?! Dios Mio, Carlotta, I slept right through the alarm? I'll never make it!"

"I heard you last night Tea…you seemed so troubled, and so restless…when you finally did fall asleep, it was the sleep of the totally exhausted…It's not your fault, just try to explain…."

"Tell that to Manny…his family…his life, as he knows it, is riding on this trial! There's no excuse," Tea was muttering to herself. "I can't let this go on…it's all I have left….can't screw this up…" In a whirlwind of activity, she was trying to gather her clothes, her paperwork, and her thoughts.

"Breathe, Mija. Just calm down. Pull yourself together, and I'll have a cup of coffee ready for you to grab on the way out. Maybe they'll understand…." She flashed her a sympathetic look and left her in her whirlwind of chaos.

I don't understand…don't understand anything anymore…what's happening to me? Can't I do anything right anymore? I can't be anything to anyone, not the way I'm supposed to be…

She cursed her disheveled appearance in the mirror.

Real professional look you've got going there, Delgado… Thank goodness Manny's innocence wasn't riding on the condition of her pantyhose, … she noted, as her finger went right through one leg.

"Damn it all…"

She'd been working on this case for months, building up to this day, the trial which could put an innocent man behind bars for a good chunk of his life if she wasn't at the top of her game. Hank Gannon was gunning for a conviction on this one, and his case was impressive, but Tea felt for sure she had the truth on her side. Manny Velasquez had been accused of shooting a cop on patrol in Angel Square three months ago. A kid with an "impressive" police record, he had gone straight about a year ago, breaking from his gang to be the father that he wanted to be to his new daughter, and the husband his wife could be proud of. He worked two jobs, one being the night shift at the Diner. Carlotta vouched for him with everything she had in her, and after spending time with him and the case, the rap didn't fit, and Tea was left without a doubt to his innocence as well. But it was up to her to prove it…and someone had done a great job of making it look like he had not only returned to his position as the ringleader of the gang, but was the one who shot the gun the night Officer Dewey was the gang target.

There was no room for error today. There was no room for…other things, to creep into her thoughts. If she messed up, an innocent man would go to jail for a long time on a charge of Attempted Murder of a Police Officer, a woman would lose her husband, and a child, her father… With a quick prayer in her heart, and her mother's locket in her clasped hand for a power it had always secretly given her, she rushed out to the Courthouse. She couldn't just be better than Hank today. She had to be the best. She had to prove she could still do something in this world, and not screw it up.

*****

Todd scrunched down in his chair but kept his eyes firmly locked on the door as Judge Fitzwater’s eyes turned steely and surveyed the courtroom yet again.

"Mr. Valesquez, what has become of your representation and how much more gray is our hair going to get before she graces us with her presence..."

"Your honor, the prosecution’s patience is also being tested. The Prosecution moves to reconvene at a time more suitable for all of us and our busy schedules..."

At that moment, she rushed in, out of breath and obviously flustered. Todd’s sigh of relief was so audible he feared she’d turn and spot him right away, but she took a deep breath at the same time, squared her shoulders, and marched ahead into the courtroom.

"Your honor, my sincere apologies to the court, to the prosecution, and to the defendant and all assembled for my tardiness. It won’t happen again. "

"See that it doesn’t, Mrs. Manning . You’ve gotten more tolerance than you deserve from this Court."

Todd saw Tea visibly stiffen at the name that belonged to both of them, and the one that he wanted to rid her of. Did she want to be rid of it? She seemed off her game. Like a tigress who had lost heart in a cage of building emotions and converging pressures. And he sensed this game was necessary for some sense of salvation. He mentally crossed his fingers for her and returned to fading into the crowd of onlookers in watching a trial unfold that had so much at stake for so many people. His focus was on one person alone. Though she squared her shoulders and plowed headfirst into the case, when she turned to face the crowd from time to time, he could tell she had the weight of the world on those shoulders, and he thought he could guess the reason for more than half of it.

I wanted to save her, but she seems as lost as I am...

Lost in confusion...

He was brought back to the present at the sound of the judge’s voice barking in the way that made him internally want to jump out of his skin.

"Mrs. Manning, I said ‘overuled’ and I meant overuled. If you continue with this line of questioning, regardless of my ruling, I WILL hold you in contempt for repeated disregard of this court’s authority, do I make myself clear?"

Velasquez’s mother was shaking her head. Carlotta Vega looked nervous. Todd shifted in his seat. Her client didn’t look too happy either, as he looked over from the witness stand and found the eyes of the woman Todd suspected was his wife. They all doubted Tea. How dare they? Damn them all...

Todd stood up to leave. Watching them all made him want to hurt somebody.

At that moment, Tea turned around in time to meet his eyes, to see him there. Her eyes locked with his. She seemed to struggle with it all, before turning back to regain her defense. But she was faltering. She had yet to make a good case in favor of his innocence, and her best attempts had been sustained objections, stricken from the record, even Todd could see that with an amateur’s eyes. She requested the right to recall the witness, and had to watch with the rest of the courtroom as Hank laid the groundwork for an open and shut case. Velasquez’s wife began to cry quietly, her body shaking with sobs in the fear that she would lose her husband, despite his innocence.

Tea’s head had began to spin, as out of control as her world felt. It was as if any solid ground she had left to rely on had fallen from beneath her feet. Suddenly, it seemed as if everything was moving in slow motion. She saw the judge bang her gavel, dismissing the court for the day. Manny slowly came down from the witness chair, and he stopped at the defense table, just looking with a hollow lost look in his eye at the woman who held his life in her hands, and who was expected to save him. The hope he’d had when Carlotta arranged for him to have Tea as his lawyer faded from his eyes, as he moved on beyond her to take his wife in his arms for a brief minute before the cops took him back to his cell. They tore him from her, and led him away, though he tried to look back as if to capture a final glance of her. It was as though he was already trying to memorize her face for the time he’d be kept away from her.

Todd watched as Tea turned to face Mrs. Velasquez, reaching for her hand. She pulled back sharply, fire in her gaze. In equally vicious tones, she began to yell at Tea in biting Spanish. He didn’t know what was said, but he saw something die in her eyes in response. With painstaking slowness, she turned and gathered up her papers into her briefcase, moving past Carlotta’s outstretched hand. She nearly walked into Todd, her eyes slowly coming up from their downcast level to tentatively meet his.

No more fire---only deep devastation. She brushed past him, her shoulder grazing his, and it was all he could do to not reach out and grab on to her arm.

The defendant’s wife rushed to get by him, to get out of there. She might have had a right to her angst, but he didn’t like the direction she’d chosen to take it out in. He narrowed his eyes at her as she continued on by. Carlotta Vega tried to follow, but just as she got shoulder to shoulder with Todd, his arm shot out and grabbed hers lightly, stopping her in mid stride. She looked up, her eyes wary, and his gaze shifted in his embarrassment. He had to know though, and she could tell him.

"Is she going to be okay ...Delgado, I mean...?" he asked her in a low voice.

Carlotta’s eyes narrowed in suspicion as she studied him. When she met his eyes for a quick second, she softened slightly at what she saw there, somewhat surprised.

"I don’t know," she answered honestly, still fairly reserved. "Tea’s been through a lot. This meant a lot to her, to everyone involved, and it didn’t go so well, obviously. Maria did a good job of making sure Tea knew how much she thought she’d let them down...but she didn’t need it. Maybe you know how much Tea beats herself up over her mistakes..." Carlotta gave him a pointed look.

"That chick...what did she say?" he asked.

"She asked Tea if she knew what it was like to be on the verge of losing her husband...what she should tell her daughter who would be left without a parent who was her everything...and why she promised to save the man who filled both of those roles when it was obvious she didn’t have what it takes. She told Tea she shouldn’t sign on to save a man and then sit back as he fell. And she blamed her for false hope. She claimed that Tea gave him a lifeline, and then failed him, pulling it back so fast that how could they ever recover? That Todd, is what she said."

"Ummm...thanks. I um...needed to know...." He almost choked on the polite gesture.

Carlotta opened her mouth to say something and then closed it, struggling. With a nod, she decided to go forward with her thought.

"I’m worried about her. I don’t feel that comfortable with her being alone..."

Without another word, he turned and left the courtroom, in search of something he’d lost.