She feels his hot, sweaty breath on her neck. His tongue brushes against her flesh, sending a cold shiver down her spine. His weight crushes her. She fights beneath him, struggles to set herself free. She smells something, something familiar. Something she can't quite put her finger on. Stop; please stop. The cold metal of the ring brushes against her lips.

She squeezes her pillow closer to her chest, protection. She sweats through her cotton bra and panties, which she cannot sleep without, and her favorite NYU t-shirt. The sheets are damp. Cold, wet pavement. She awakens with a startle, the sheets reminding her of a familiar sensation, the dampness chilling her skin.

She sits straight up, looking around the room for any irregularities. Any signs of intrusion or abnormalities. Nothing is there, but reminders of the life that was taken away from her. The husband, the flourishing career, the adoring stepdaughter; everything gone in an instant.

She creeps down the stairway, carrying the gun that she purchased shortly after the rape. At night, it gun was never far from her side, her hands always in contact with the cold, heavy metal. Even sleeping, her fingers would wrap around the barrel. It gave her a since of power, even if it was a false sense of power. Every light in the penthouse shines brightly, contrasting the dark shadow cast over her soul.

The ritual became a nightly occurrence. Around the same time each night, she would creep down the stairs, stop in the middle and look right, toward the window, then left, toward the door; pointing the gun in the direction of her eyes. She checked the kitchen, then the laundry room. When convinced she was completely alone, she went back into the living room, and stared out the window. For hours she would stand in the same position, waiting for the sun to rise, waiting for light. Once the sun made an appearance above the horizon, she would go back upstairs, and fall asleep.

Life became a series of rituals. A constant search for some semblance of normalcy. The four minute teeth and tongue brushing. The three time a day facial scrub. The six showers. One steaming cup of coffee in the morning, accompanied by dry toast, which she never ate. The toast was for her to play with, ripping the bread, crumbling it onto her plate.

*****

Penthouse 1
Night

During the night, Todd was at his most restless. He often found himself sitting on the floor outside of Tea's penthouse, guarding her. If he listened closely, he could sometimes hear her footsteps on the other side of the door. The sound was sometimes hypnotic.

His key still fit the lock to the penthouse, and he would occasionally use it, and stand in the living room, just to smell her perfume. Other times, when he felt more daring, he would tip toe up the stairs, into her bedroom, and watch her sleeping. It took all of the little self-control that he had, to not go to her and hold her thrashing body. He never stayed long though, fearing that she would discover his presence. He was amazed that he had gone this long without her knowing that he was there.

*****

Dorian's House
Day

Vicki had never been Blair's biggest fan. The only reason that she even tolerated her is because of Starr. It was hard to see what Todd saw in her, but at least he had the good sense to get divorced. She hated having to ask Blair for a favor, but she hoped that Starr would lift Tea's spirits, if only temporarily.

She stood on the front porch of her enemy's house, ringing the doorbell. She did not see Dorian's car in the driveway, which was a definite plus. She rang the bell several times, but nobody answered. Just as she was about to leave, the door flies open, Blair stands on the other side.

"Well, Vicki, what can I do for you?" Blair asks, slightly sarcastically.

"I would like to talk to you for a few minutes, if that would be alright with you," Vicki responds, in her sweetest voice.

"What could we possibly have to talk about?"

"If you let me in, I will explain it to you."

Blair reluctantly steps aside, motioning for Vicki to come in.

"I only have a few minutes, so make it quick." Blair leads Vicki to the living room, crosses her arms, taps her foot, and waits for Vicki to speak.

"I am sure that you have heard about what happened to Tea."

"Yeah, but I don't know what that has to do with me."

"It doesn't really. I just think that it would be nice if Starr could visit with Tea for awhile." Vicki is starting to lose patience with Blair, but for Tea's sake, she maintains her cool facade.

"You know how I feel about Tea. I'm sorry that she was raped and all, but she isn't Starr's stepmother anymore."

"Yes but you and I both know that they have a very special bond, and I think Starr is just what Tea needs right now. Blair, I know that you are not fond of Tea, you have made that abundantly clear, but right now is a time to put personal feelings aside and do what's right."

"Fine, Vicki, but this is the only time."

*****

Penthouse 1
Day

Todd's eyes widen as he sees Starr and Viki on the video monitor. His heartbeat quickens, and a smile that has been absent for longer then he cared to remember, eased across his lips. He leaned forward to get a closer look, wanting desperately to hug her.

Vicki, you gotta bring her over.

*****

Penthouse 2
Day

Starr holds onto Viki's hand, swinging it back and forth. She is so excited to see her Tee! She could never admit it to her mother, but she missed Tea almost as much as she missed Todd. She wished that they could spend more time together, but she also knew of the bad blood that existed between her mothers.

She missed the good times that she used to have with Todd and Tea in the penthouse. The stories that Todd used to tell. Tea's smiling face in the morning when she woke her up. She enjoyed living with Blair, but she missed living at the penthouse.

Viki had told her that Tea was sad and that seeing her would cheer her up. Tea had always been able to make her smile, even when she was sad, so she hoped that she could do the same for her. She brought Fred with her, so that Tea could send a message to Todd. She sent messages to him all the time, and it always made her feel better.

Viki used her key when Tea didn't answer the door.

"Tea," Vicki calls. "Come on sweetheart, let's go upstairs." Starr bounces up the stairs behind Viki. "Starr, why don't you go to your room, and play in there until I call you, okay? Remember to be very quiet, this is a surprise for Tee." Starr nods her head, and does as she's told.

Vicki hears the water running. She looks at her watch and sees that it's the time that Tea usually takes her third shower of the day. She runs her fingers through her hair, deciding if she should wait in the bedroom, or wait somewhere else. She decides to wait with Starr, not wanting to scare Tea.

*****

Half Hour Later
Starr's Room

Viki finally hears the water shut off, and excuses herself from Starr. "Sweetheart, I'm going to talk to Tee right now."

"Okay, Aunt Vicki." Starr continues to play with her dolls, not bothering to look up.

*****

Tea's Bedroom

"Tea, it's Viki," she says, knocking on the door.

"Just a minute," she yells. She digs through Todd's drawer, searching for a shirt to wear with her oversized sweats. She comes across an old football jersey, and slips it over her head. It is extremely large on her small frame. "Okay," she yells.

Viki slides the door open, enters, and closes the door behind her. She reaches out to hug her, but pulls back when she sees Tea's body tense. Sometimes she would allow Viki to hug her. Other days, she would not. This was one of those days.

Tea sits on the bed; her body in the bedroom, but her mind clearly somewhere else. She did that quite often. Most of the time, she would think back to the night of the rape, reliving it, searching for some clue. Sometimes, though, she would think of the happiest times of her life, those moments spent with Starr and Todd.

"How are you feeling?" Viki sits next to her, careful not to get too close.

"I'm okay," she lies.

"Are you up for a little company?"

"You know I never mind spending time with you."

"No, not me. Someone wanted to see you, and I didn't think that you would mind."

"Who?" Tea asks, not really wanting to see anyone.

"Come see for yourself."

Tea follows Viki into Starr's room, her eyes lighting up seeing her.

"Tee!" Starr exclaims, running to Tea's open arms. She hugs her tightly; Tea does the same. Tea buries her head in Starr's hair, fighting back the tears. She had missed her so much, more then she ever imagined.

"Oh, it's so good to see you! Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?"

"I misseded you too," Starr says, pulling away from Tea's embrace. "Aunt Viki said you're sad."

"I am sweetie, but I feel much better after seeing you," Tea says honestly.

"Tee, do you miss daddy?"

Tea hesitates, not sure how to answer the question. "Yes, Starr, I do. I miss him very much."

"I know he misses you too. I brought Fred so you can give him a message for daddy. Daddy can make anything better, so maybe he can fix what's wrong with you. Here," she says, handing Fred to Tea. "Me and Aunt Viki'll leave you alone," she says, acting like a little adult.

Tea watches as Viki and Starr leave the room, closing the door behind them. "Well, I'm only doing this for Starr. I've been through a lot since you've been gone. I'm different now. I don't know if you would even recognize me. I don't recognize me. I don't sleep much anymore. I know how you used to feel. I feel so alone right now, like no one understands me. I'm just breathing, not really living at all. I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling, with all of the rage that I have hidden inside. I don't know why I'm talking to you through a damn stuffed frog." She tosses the frog onto the bed, and joins Starr and Viki downstairs.

*****

The Living Room

"Tee, we got pizza," Starr says, running into Tea's arms.

"You did?"

"Yep. Come on." Starr takes Tea's hand and walks with her to the table.

Starr notices that Tea is only playing with her food, pushing it from one side of the plate to the other. "Tee, your pizza's gonna get cold."

"I guess I'm not all that hungry sweetie," she says, allowing a fake smile to cross her lips.

"You gotta eat, or you'll get sick. I don't want you to get sick, Tee. Aunt Vicki, tell Tee she has to eat."

"Starr's right Tea." Vicki and Starr double-team Tea, making her feel guilty. She grudgingly eats one piece.

*****

Later that Evening

"Thanks for bringing her over Viki. I have missed her so much."

"You're welcome. I know that she's missed you too. The whole way over, she kept talking about how she couldn't wait to see you."

Tea glances over at Starr, who is waiting patiently by the door for Viki. She opens her arms and Starr runs into them, and squeezes Tea tightly around the neck.

"I love you Tee."

"I love you too, sweetie," she responds, closing her eyes.

"Maybe mommy will let me come over more, so I can make you feel better."

"I'd like that."

"'Kay. Bye," she runs to the door, and opens it for Viki.

*****

Penthouse #1

Todd's eyes burn from staring at the video monitor for a couple of hours straight. Red creeps into the whites as they fill with tears. Starr and Viki emerge from the other penthouse. He leans forward, memorizing every detail of his daughter. Viki and Starr do not head toward the elevator; instead they stop outside of his door. Before they can knock, he flings the door open and takes Starr into his arms.

"Daddy!" Starr exclaims.

"Shorty! I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too," she says, letting go of him and wiggling her way back to the ground.

"Why come you don't have furniture?" She asks, looking around the sparsely decorated apartment.

"Uh, I haven't had time."

"Oh. Aunt Viki took me to see Tee."

"She did?" He sits on the floor, patting the space next to him, his way of telling her to sit down.

"Uh, huh," she says, complying with his silent request. "Tee's real sad. Maybe you should talk to her."

"Yeah, well, Tee's kinda mad at me right now."

"Well, make her unmad at you."

"It's not that easy Shorty. She's really mad."

"You don't love her anymore?"

"I'll always, always love Tea. I just hurt her real bad, and she's still mad."

"You can fix anything, so fix this."

"I'll try."

Viki takes Todd's place in front of the video, watching the hallway for anything suspicious. She smiles to herself, listening to her brother and niece. She looks at her watch, realizing that it's later then she thought.

"Starr, honey, we have to get you back to your mom," Viki says, grabbing her purse.

"Do we have to Aunt Viki?"

"I'm afraid so, my dear. Tell your daddy goodbye."

"Bye daddy," she says, hugging and kissing him.

"Bye Shorty. Don't tell anybody that you saw me. It has to be our secret for now. I love you."

"I love you too. Don't worry daddy, I'm a good secret keeper."

*****

An Apartment Across Town

His gloved hand carefully aligns the words formed by magazine cutouts on the white paper. Once the words are arranged perfectly, and spelled correctly, he pastes the letters onto the paper. He sits back and admires his work.

This was not random, the note reads. He fingers the letters, making sure the her glued securely to the paper. He folds the letter into thirds, and inserts it into the envelope. He licks the adhesive, imagining her taste.

"You'll never be rid of me," he says to himself.

To be continued...