She walked around the house, listening to her own footsteps. Back and forth, everyday, along the same path. She had lost several pounds, having no appetite or desire to do anything normal. She didn't even know what normal meant anymore. Sleep had eluded her ever since that fateful night. A couple hours here or there, but always broken by the nightmares.

Sleeping at night was especially difficult. Darkness itself, was difficult. It happened at night. It happened in darkness. Sleeping during the day was a little bit easier. Everything was easier in the light.

The phone rang constantly, Vicki, Carlotta, John, and RJ, all calling to see how she was doing. Most of the time, she just let it ring, only picking up for Vicki, and sometimes Carlotta. Mostly, she just wanted to be alone.

She had always felt alone in the penthouse, even when Todd lived there. He was always so distant. When he was there at night, he paced the very same trail that she paced. It was almost as if she had become him. Irritable. Isolated. Nocturnal. She was him.

*****

Penthouse 1
Morning

He paced the living room floor, biting his fingernails. His hair was wild and dirty, his clothes disheveled. He had not shaved in days; had not slept in days. Visions of Marty haunted him. Her begging them to stop. Her fighting back, until she had nothing left. Her tear stained cheeks.

He imagined Tea, alone, in that alley, the tears stinging her eyes. Her clothes ripped. Her body bruised. Her soul bruised. He imagined someone's fist connecting with her beautiful face, just has his fist had connected with her cheek all of those months ago. Sometimes, he could hear the sound of his hand connecting with her cheek. It made him physically ill, knowing that he had purposely hurt her.

Someone prying open his wife's legs, and doing unspeakable things to her. Someone putting their mouth on her. Their fingers inside of her. Touching her more intimately then he had ever dared.

Questions flooded his mind. Was he any better than this person? Does feeling remorse and asking for forgiveness really change who and what you are, or is at an illusion?

*****

An Apartment Across Town
Afternoon

The man walked into his stylish apartment, laying his wallet on the coffee table. He removed his jacket, carefully returning it to the hanger. He slid his heavy silver ring from his finger, and put it in his jewelry box.

He looked in the mirror, and smiled at himself. Unbuttoning his shirt, he could see the scratches that she left on his body. It turned him on thinking of her fighting him. Thinking of them fighting back always turned him on. He became aroused, and reached down to massage himself.

"Mmm, Ms. Delgado," he moans.

*****

Carlotta's Diner
Afternoon

Vicki sits in a booth in the corner, working on her laptop. Though she is working, her mind is elsewhere. Carlotta approaches her table, silently, carrying her order.

"Here you go Vicki." She lays the bag on the table with a thug. Their relationship had been tense ever since the rape. Carlotta was miffed that Tea did not want her at the hospital, choosing Vicki instead.

Vicki looks up from her computer, slightly agitated at Carlotta's behavior. Everything lately, seemed to agitate her. "Carlotta, is there a problem?"

"No." She turns to walk away, but Vicki quickly stands and blocks her path.

"There is obviously something going on between you and I, and I think we need to talk about it."

Carlotta sits at the booth, reluctantly, reaches for the salt shaker, spinning it around and around. The motion is calming for her. She takes a few deep breaths before speaking.

Vicki watches her, waiting patiently for her to speak.

"I know this may sound selfish, especially at a time like this, but it bothers me that Tea won't see me."

"Carlotta, that is Tea's decision, not mine."

"I know that, but it doesn't hurt any less. I have been there for her, her whole life, and now she is shutting me out."

"She is shutting everyone out. It is not uncommon for rape victims to isolate themselves. Tea and I have shared a common, horrific experience. I think that that is why she feels comfortable with me. I know what she's going through."

"I know that, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I want to help her, and be there for her, but how can I when she won't let me?"

"Carlotta, give her some time, and space. That's the best thing you can do for her right now. Someday, she'll want and need you with her, and all you can do is be there for her when that day comes."

*****

Penthouse 1
Afternoon

Todd watched on the video monitor as Vicki approached his door. In a way, he wanted to see her, but in another way, he wished she would go away. It's not that he didn't love her, he just didn't like socializing. Actually, he never felt like socializing, but it was especially hard now. Vicki had a way of seeing through him, no matter how hard he tried to hide.

The elevator closed behind her with a ding. She first started toward Penthouse 2, but decided to see Todd first instead. She tapped on the door lightly, setting her bag down beside her.

"Hey," he growls, stepping to the side to allow her to enter.

She walks inside, looking around at the sparsely decorated room. Mostly, it is filled with high-tech observation equipment, a television monitor, several listening and recording devices. A voyeur's paradise. There is a couch in the center of the room, and one chair in front of the monitor.

"Well, this is," she says, searching for the right word, "interesting. Todd when's the last time you've eaten anything?" She studies his thinning frame, his sad eyes, his defeated posture.

"Don't know," he answers, pushing his hands deeper into his pockets.

She reaches into her bag and retrieves a carry out container. "I figured. Here, I brought you something."

"I'm not hungry."

"Todd, you have to eat something."

He takes the carryout container, opens it, sniffing its contents. He makes a face. "I hate this food. It's too hot."

"It's not hot, Todd." She sits on the couch, staying to make sure he ate something. "How are you?"

"Fine. Shouldn't you be across the hall taking care of Delgado? I mean, she's the one that really needs you."

"Yes, but I think you need me right now too."

"Well, don't think, and go and take care of her." He plays with the food she brought, not having much of an appetite.

"When's the last time you've slept?"

"Dunno."

"You don't know when you've last eaten. You don't know when you've last slept. What good are you doing Tea if you aren't taking care of yourself?"

"I don't have time for any of that."

"You sit in front of this monitor all day, everyday, don't you?"

"Yeah, so? If I don't do it, who will?"

"You don't have to do this you know?"

"What?"

She lifts his chin, so that she can look into his eyes. "You don't have to try to make this up to her. It's not your fault." He looks back down, unable to meet her eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

"What?" He looks down again and plays with his food.

"Why did you come back? Don't get me wrong, I am happy to see you. If you're not going to let her know that you're back, what's the point of being here?"

"I don't know," he answers honestly.

*****

Penthouse 2
Evening

The sun was just beginning to set, casting an orange shadow in the sky. Something about that color made Tea feel warm, right before the coldness of the night air.

She wore an old NYU sweatshirt and a matching pair of pants. They were oversized. Everything she wore nowadays was oversized. She never wore makeup anymore, the more plain she looked, the better. She stood in front of the window, looking out over Llanview. From a distance, the town seemed peaceful. But she knew different.

She hears the key in the lock, snapping her back to attention. It was as if her senses became sharper, she heard everything.

"Tea?"

"Hi Vicki," she says, without turning around.

"I brought you something to eat. It's from Carlotta's."

"Thank you."

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really." She walks over to the couch, stares at it, then the floor, opting to sit of the floor.

"Well, you really should eat something. You need to keep up your strength."

"You're right," she says with a sigh.

"I'll go get us something to drink."

"Uh, huh." She opens the container; the smell almost makes her sick. It seemed that quite a few things these days made her sick. She frowns, pushing the food away from her.

Vicki returns with a couple of sodas and sets them on the table. "Has Bo contacted you?"

"He's called a couple of times."

"But you haven't talked to him?"

"No. Why?"

"He wanted to interview you again."

"Oh."

Vicki observes her pushing her food from one side of the container to the other, not eating. Just like Todd. She knows that she cannot push her too hard, or she might shut down, so she says nothing.

*****

An Apartment Across Town
Evening

He rewound the tape repeatedly, staring at her face. He had taped every public appearance she had made. Every night, he would sit in the same spot, watching the tapes. He had secretly taken snapshots of her, placing them in various places around his apartment.

He had watched her for months, without anyone's knowledge. He would get high off of her scent, the sound of her voice. He would sometimes talk to her, smiling thinking of his little secret. She had no idea.