Bubbles filled the pearl colored bathtub, nearly flowing over the top. Vanilla scented the room, a combination of the candles and bubble bath. A light fog covered the empty space, just enough to form a thin mist over the vanity mirror and soft jazz music…Charlie Parker, echoed against the tile.

Tea piled her hair on top of her head, leaned back, closed her eyes and allowed the atmosphere to envelope her. Not since before the rape, had she dared to luxuriate in such calm, such softness. It was a testament, she guessed, to her slow healing process.

She was always taking showers, scrubbing away layers of skin. She always let the hard water beat against her, turning the faucet hotter and hotter, until she couldn't stand it. Until her skin was red and burned from the constant beating.

But baths, baths were different. It was a constant temperature, warmth all around. A bath represented absolute calm, absolute peace. She thought that maybe, deep down, she was reminded of the womb; the safety that that place represented. Or maybe it represented a baptism of sorts; maybe it was where her soul would be cleansed.

Whatever it was, she liked that feeling that the water brought to her. As she sat back, she thought that she could stay there forever, surrounded by the candlelight, the music, the absolute calm of those precious moments.

*****

Llanfair Living Room

Viki hated being around sadness…it was draining, tiring. She took it upon herself to heal the wounded and save the downtrodden…especially those in her family, especially her brother. They were cut from the same cloth, she always said. The only difference was that they went about dealing with their pain differently.

She had observed his behavior during his stay. Her heart broke every time she saw him walking around with his hands stuffed deep in his pockets, not even a scowl on his face…more of an expression of ambivalence. It was more frightening then even his explosive temper because not even she could discern what was going on behind those hazel eyes. There was nothing, yet there was so much. She suspected that he had taken on Tea's pain, turned it onto himself. Blamed himself, not only for what happened to her, but for what happened to him as well.

Oftentimes, like today, she would catch him staring out the window, at nothing in particular. He would rarely blink, so deep in thought or so deep in pain or both.

"Todd?"

He ignored her or didn't hear, so she stepped closer to him. "Todd?" She calls again, simultaneously touching him in the middle of his back. He jerks away from her, raising his hand as if blocking his face. "Todd, it's me…Viki. Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he says, dropping his arm. "Yeah, I'm fine. Where's Tea? She ready yet?"

"She's upstairs. How about you and I having a little chat?"

"No."

"I'm not asking, Todd. Come, sit next to me."

He grunts, throwing himself onto the couch. Talks with Viki were a pain, and always right on the money. She could "read" him…like Tea and…she wasn't afraid of him…like Tea. Breathing deeply, he braces himself for her "analyzation."

"Todd, what are you going to do?"

"About?"

"About you? You seem more lost than ever. You mope around the house all day, barely growling at anyone in your path. Often, you seem a million miles away, staring out the window, or into blank space. Frankly, I am very worried about you."

"Viki, you aren't happy unless you're worrying."

"I have a lot to worry about…mainly you and your wife. I know you're hurting right now, whether you want to admit it or not. I also know that you are dealing with some very painful memories from your childhood, feelings you had probably buried deep inside yourself, but were forced to the surface by what happened to Tea-"

"You sure think you know a lot." He unconsciously runs his fingers through his hair, again and again.

"I think I know a lot about you. You sometimes forget that I have been where you are. I didn't have to deal with it alone…and neither do you. You are surrounded by love."

"Yeah, right…whatever. Are we finished here," looking at his watch, "because I gotta take Tea to her appointment." He attempts to leave the room but Viki blocks his way. "What?"

"The best way to deal with pain, is to confront it…talk about it. I'm not talking about a professional, but with someone that can identify with what you're going through."

"You want me to talk to Tea? Come on Viki, she's barely making it through the day."

"So are you Todd. Did you ever stop to think that maybe she's taking on your pain, just as you're taking on hers? Did you ever stop to think that maybe it would be easier for both of you if you would talk to each other? If you would talk…period? If not to her, to somebody else…to me?"

*****

The police had concluded their investigation of the shooting; no charges had been filed. Once the news gained national attention, details began to surface about the John Sykes that nobody knew. Other victims came forward, old girlfriends, old obsessions…giving chilling accounts of his abuses toward them.

A high school girlfriend told of how she tried to break up with him and ended up with a broken jaw. Senator Graham paid for her medical bills and for her silence. He was transferred to another school after that; transferred with a clean slate.

Another high school prospect was left blind in one eye, his fist severing her retina. Her crime: telling him "no" when he asked her for a date. Senator Graham paid for her college education, not to mention funded her father's new business.

His troubles did not end in college. Several women gave accounts of verbal abuse, even some sexual violations. Nobody came forward at that time, Senator Graham made sure of that.

There was another pattern that the police uncovered. Wherever Sykes went, there was always at least one or two rapes that occurred. Unsolved rapes. Evidence seemed to have been "misplaced," memories became "fuzzy."

Bo racked up the frequent flier miles, searching for answers. One person came forward, with most of the answers that Bo was seeking…Joseph Kensington, a therapist who treated Sykes during his troubled teenage years. For several hours, Joseph revealed the layers that lied beneath the skin of John Sykes.

When he was only twelve, John witnessed his father shoot his mother and her lover repeatedly. His father was an attorney, as well as a good friend of Senator Graham. His parents were separated…both parents having committed adultery. He and his mother had moved out of their home, into a large apartment, paid for by his father. Their apartment was being watched by a private investigator, hired by his father. One night, in a jealous rage, his father broke into the apartment, kicked in the bedroom door, killed the occupants of the bed, then turned the gun on himself. The first shot, the one that killed his mother's lover, woke John. He didn't know what the loud bang was, or where it came from. Frightened, he made his way down the hall and to his mother's room. He opened the door just in time to see his father kill his mother…then himself.

From that moment on, his heart was filled with rage. It was his mother he blamed for leaving him. It was his mother who caused the marriage to fall apart. Women were bitches. Sluts. Whores. Women were the weaker sex; they deserved any and everything that they got. Every woman was his mother, a sex object, someone to be toyed with.

John had no other family. No one to take him in after both parents died. Senator Graham, out of friendship with his father, took custody of John. Physical custody…mentally, he was already lost. Really, the only thing John had was Barbara, the Senator's equally troubled daughter.

Barbara liked John from the first moment she saw him. Those eyes, she told everyone that would listen, took her breath away. He used her attraction to him, to manipulate her. Whatever John wanted, John got, from her or anyone else. He would make her steal money from her father and lie to cover his ass. The one thing she would not do, no matter how much he urged her, is sleep with him. She believed that sex was something special, to be shared between two people who were in love.

Barbara and John were very much alike, only he was stronger emotionally. Her mother died giving birth to her, her whole life had been spent trying to please her father, trying to fill the void that was left by her mother. She tried to cook for him, clean for him, pick out his clothes, but he kept telling her to be a "kid." She took it as rejection, like she wasn't good enough for him, so she tried even harder to please him.

She started to do things to herself to gain her father's attention. Self-mutilation. She would slice her wrist, and go to him…showing him her wounds. She would make up excuses…the knife slipped…she cut herself shaving her arms…any "realistic" lie she could think of. Anything for his attention. It never worked. He would simply call one of the maids and have them "patch her up."

But John gave her the attention that her father never could, or would. One night, he became extremely aggressive toward her sexually. She pushed him, her attempts futile. She scratched at him, barely piercing the first layer of skin. She yelled, but no one heard. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a hunting knife lying on top of the dresser. She pushed him away, just long enough to get the knife. After several warnings, and his continued persistence, she stabbed him in the side.

Senator Graham did not believe Barbara's story.

From that day on, John believed that he could do anything and get away with it. And he did. The only person fully aware of his exploits was Kensington, bound by the rules of confidentiality. He didn't even have is records to refer to, they were burned in a convenient fire years before. But he did have his memory, and no matter how hard he tried, he could not forget John Sykes.

*****

Tea's Bathroom

The water had begun to turn cold; the bubbles had all but disappeared. She lay back, sleeping, relaxing. Sleeping in the tub was not a smart idea, but it was the only place where her dreams were peaceful…nonviolent. No John to haunt her. No father to whisper those deprecating words in her ear.

She would always lose track of time when she was locked behind the bathroom door. Before she knew it, hours would have passed. Though wrinkled, she didn't care…she was relaxed. Todd would inevitably come, banging on the door, snapping her out of the spell.

It didn't bother her all that much. She thought that she would stay in there forever without his insistence that she come out.

She slowly began to awaken, stretching her limbs, completely refreshed. She glanced over at the small desk clock that rested on the counter. She groaned…only had another half-hour before she had to leave for her session with Carol.

"Just five more minutes," she says to herself, drooping her arms over the side of the tub. She closes her eyes again, dozing.

"Hey, Tea, get a move on," Todd yells, banging on the door. She grins, reaching for her towel, and lifting herself from the lukewarm water.

*****

Carol's Office

Being in Carol's office again was very awkward. Awkward in the sense that Tea had walked out of here before; she'd given up. Not just on therapy, but life as well. This place of healing did not heal a thing for her. In many ways, it had made things more painful, if that was even possible. Things spilled. Secrets emerged. Masks were removed and she was left exposed. And she couldn't deal with it.

Now, she was back…groveling in a sense. Begging for Carol to help her heal. Begging for life to take her back and allow her to live again. It was something new to her…the begging. Tea Delgado Manning never had to beg for anything…she worked for everything she got…but beg…never.

Her eyes wandered to her file that was open on Carol's desk. She stretched her eyes, to get a better view, but she could make out nothing. Probably better that way.

Carol carefully watched her client, noting her uneasiness. In the lobby, Tea seemed much more relaxed, comfortable even. She guessed that it had something to do with her husband having accompanied her. She had seen pictures of Todd, even so, with all the unpleasant attention that he received, she was expecting some sort of monster. To her surprise, he was handsome, in a rugged way, and clearly adored his wife…and she clearly adored him.

"It's good to see you again," Carol begins. "So…how are…things?"

"Things are getting a little better, I think."

"I'm glad to hear that. What's making things better for you?"

"Mmm," she says, pausing to think of an answer, "I guess that it's the support of my family and friends. Right after…you know…I wouldn't let anyone near me. But no matter how hard I pushed, they were always there for me."

"As the old Dionne Warwick song goes…that's what friends are for."

"Yes."

"At our only other session, you seemed very down on yourself, almost to the point of self-hatred. How do you see yourself now?"

Tea looks for an escape, a way to avoid the subject. The wheels of her lawyer mind start turning, but she knows every move, every gesture is being watched and analyzed. The room is silent for several minutes, Carol won't let the question slide, Tea hopes that time will just tick away.

*****

Lobby

Todd throws the National Geographic that he had just finished rifling through back on top of the table. He looked at his watch for the hundredth time, wanting nothing more than to get out of that office. The receptionist eyes him wearily as he sighs loudly…bored out of his mind.

"Hey," he yells to the receptionist.

"Yes?"

"Yeah, my wife is in there with what's her name…anyway, I'm going to get a cup of coffee. If she comes out before I get back, let her know I'm in the cafeteria."

*****

Todd storms out of the office, narrowly missing running straight into Ben. Todd mumbles an angry apology, and continues down the hallway.

"Hey," Ben calls after Todd.

Todd stops, turns, and groans at the sight of Ben. Nowhere to run. Ben approaches a very pale, and sweaty Todd.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, if I can just get a damn cup of coffee. What are you doing anyway? You following us?"

"I'm a doctor, I work here."

"Yeah…well…see ya," Todd says, throwing his hand up in an attempt at a wave.

"Wait…mind if I join you for a cup?"

"Yeah…I mind."

Ben follows Todd into the cafeteria, despite his protests, and joins him at a table. Todd pours several packages of sugar in his cup, followed by several more packages of cream. He sips, frowning…still not sweet enough. Ben drinks his black, guzzling half a cup before Todd gets his perfect.

"How's your wife doing?"

"My wife is fine," Todd spits. "Tell me something Dr. Ben, why you always hanging around my wife, huh?"

"I happen to like your wife…as a friend. What, is she not allowed to have friends?"

Todd simply glares at him, laying his cup on the table and twisting it around. "She's a big girl…I trust her."

"Uh huh. God," Ben rubs his baldhead, crushing his empty cup in his hand, "I don't even know why I'm telling you this…you won't care anyway."

"You're probably right."

"Well, I'm going to tell you anyway. I had a sister who was raped. She didn't talk to anyone…she just pretended like it didn't happen. We all assumed that she was "fine," but in reality she was a wreck. We went on, everything as usual, the next thing we knew…she had killed herself."

The words "killed herself" rang through his ears. He thought that Tea was fine, maybe she was just pretending. They were too much alike, he and Tea. Shit. "I'm sorry about your sister."

"Thanks. Just, don't let her close herself off from you. Talk to her, listen to her…we didn't do that with my sister, and now she's gone."

*****

Carol's Office

Each second of "dead air" seemed like a never-ending minute. Tea wondered if all of Carol's clients were as nervous and scared as her. Probably so, she thought. Carol had been very patient while Tea shifted her body, rubbed her hands together, played with her wedding band, combed her hair with her hands and every other thing that indicated nervousness and fear. She didn't push…she didn't rush. She let the conversation flow naturally, allowing her client to control the pace.

The conversation wasn't heavy, as they had expected. It was more of a "feel out" session. Although, every so often, Tea would let some telling detail slip from her lips. She let it slip that a part of her enjoyed the power of holding a gun on her attacker. She let it slip that watching his body fall limply to the ground was almost thrilling. She let it slip that there were times she wanted to die, thought about how she would do it, but knowing deep inside that suicide was a coward's way out.

Carol listened, nodding, without judgment. Trust had to come naturally, unforced by the probing questions of a therapist. Two words kept playing through her mind, two words that were printed in big, bold letters in Tea's file…"daddy issues."

Tea had not spoken in depth about her childhood, only giving vague details. She had pretty much raised herself, after her mother left. Her father was cruel, emotionally abusive, bitter old man. That was all the information she would give. It was Carol's guess that the rape had been the most recent abuse committed against by a man.

"Time's up."

"Oh, okay."

"Same time next week?" Carol opens her planner, penciling Tea in for the following week.

"Okay. I'll see you next week then."

*****

Carlotta's Diner

To Todd's surprise, Tea suggested that they stop by the diner for an early dinner. She had a sudden craving for some of Carlotta's home cooking and asked if they could stop. Todd was just going to order something "to go," but she insisted that they go inside.

It felt strange entering the diner again. Not strange in a bad way, but not exactly how she expected. She expected people to look at her and point and stare and whisper behind her back, but that's not what happened. Nobody even noticed her entrance.

Roseanne, after serving another customer, came over to the table holding a coffee pot. She had neither seen nor talked to Tea since she visited the penthouse weeks before.

"Hi, Tea. It's really…good…to…see…you." She pours two cups of coffee, debating on whether she should say more, or just leave.

"Good to see you too. How have you been? Are things going okay? How's Christian? Carlotta? Are you still taking classes at Llanview U?" Tea's rapid-fire questions make things even more uncomfortable for the three of them.

"Uh…I'm fine…things are fine…I'm not going to school…as for Chris and Carlotta…they're fine. Carlotta's out back, but I can go get her."

"No…no…I'll see her later."

"Okay."

*****

Carlotta cleaned the same spot on the counter for several minutes, all the while keeping an eye out on the corner booth. She had been watching them ever since she first saw them, easily relating to one another. It seemed impossible to her that it could be the same woman who, weeks ago, was barely able to get out of bed. As much as she despised Todd, as bad as she thought he was for her surrogate daughter, he was the best thing for her.

"Why don't you go over there and say something to her?" Roseanne asked. She had spoken to Tea, alone, while Todd had gone to the restroom. It was nice. They didn't discuss the rape, or anything of importance, just small talk.

"I will." Carlotta busies herself with another meaningless task, just to avoid the inevitable. She mops the floor behind the counter for the third time, constantly looking at Tea. Carlotta was still hurt that Tea wouldn't see her when she was at her lowest. Viki, though…Viki she'd see.

It was Carlotta who had been her "shoulder to cry on" for most of her life. For Tea to have shut her out was a direct slap in the face. She had known Viki for what…two years, and suddenly she confided in her. She had isolated herself from her roots, her community, and from the people who had loved and nurtured her. She was being petty, but that didn't stop her from hurting.

"Carlotta, I think she really wants you to come to her."

"I did that once…and she pushed me away. This time, if she wants to see me, she's going to have to take the first step."

She continues to mop, the same spots over and over again. She leans against the handle, putting all of her weight on the stick…hoping against hope that she can release all of the anger flowing through her veins. Her fingers grip onto the handle, tighter, her palms turning red. She felt the burning in the back of her throat, the same sensation that always arises when she is about to cry.

I was always the one that was there for her. I was always the one that loved her. I was the shoulder she cried on and when she needed someone the most, she ran from me. She ran from me!

The mop crashes to the floor with a thud, startling everyone in the diner. She runs to the back room, embarrassed, upset, hurt.

Tea rushed from the table, following Carlotta. She opens the door slightly, hearing Carlotta's stifled sobs.

"Carlotta," Tea says softly, stepping into the room. Carlotta's back is facing her; her face is covered by her hands. "Carlotta, what's wrong?"

"I just need a minute, Tea. Just give me a minute."

Tea sits on the floor, listening as the sobs slow to a trickle of tears. "Carlotta…what's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to see me like this."

"It's okay…now will you tell me what's wrong?"

Carlotta eases next to Tea, wrapping an arm around her; pulling her close. She holds her close, just enjoying the feeling of having her surrogate daughter close to her again. "I'm just so glad to see you," she squeezes tighter. "I never thought-"

"I'm so sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean it…I didn't mean to push you away. I…I wasn't…I'm not who I was. I needed some time…I needed to get my head together. I didn't want to be around anyone."

"But Viki?" Carlotta abruptly moves to the other side of the room…mad at Tea…mad at Viki…mad at Todd…mad at the world.

"Carlotta, you have to understand where I was emotionally…where I still am. Viki found me that night," her voice breaks. "She found me. She took me to the hospital, stayed with me. And she understands what I am going through. Carlotta," she walks across the room to Carlotta, embracing her "I could not love you more if you were my mother," she whispers in her ear.

"I love you too, Tea…I love you too."

*****

The Park

The air was cold, thick with the smell of snow. It was freezing. Todd didn't want to go home just yet, there were always too many people around. There were too many people in Viki's house…period. Sometimes he thought he would lose his mind. Viki was nosy, but harmless. Jessica, was a good kid. Christian…Will…yuck…he couldn't keep them straight anymore. Joey was okay. Kevin was just a menace…a short little menace. If it was up to him, they would be in their own place.

Tea wasn't ready to leave Llanfair…he could just tell. That was the problem with Viki's house…people got to comfortable…they never left. It took Kevin years to finally leave…same with Joey. And poor Jessica…she might never leave. There was just something about that house.

A light snow started falling from the sky…large flakes. Tea watched them land on the ground disappearing almost immediately. Some flakes landed on the rim of her cappuccino cup, the heat melting the flakes as soon as they made contact. She held the cup tighter, her hands absorbing its warmth.

"We can leave if you want."

"No…it's so peaceful."

All around them, snow started falling more quickly, covering the ground. The park seemed to turn colors right before their eyes. It was nice…the first "real" accumulation of the season. Everything looked so clean and new…unspoiled.

"Tea, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you ever…oh god." He looks down, regaining his composure. "Do you ever…like…feel…like…somebody's watching' you?"

He hit the nail on the head. She would find herself peaking around corners, looking for the pair of eyes she was certain were staring at her. It wasn't just when she was alone either. Whenever she walked into a room, she thought that everyone was staring at her…like they were looking through her. She used to like the attention of walking in a room and all eyes being on her…used to.

"I mean…'cause I feel like that too sometimes. It pisses me off."

"Everything pisses you off Todd."

"You don't piss me off." Out of the corner of his eye he sees a slight smile cross her lips.

"Well…that's debatable. To answer your question…yes…I do sometimes feel like someone is watching me. Logically, I know that that's not true…but it's like the hairs on the back of my neck are standing on edge. I think I understand…you know how I used to think you were paranoid? Now…I feel the same way."

"It's weird, huh? I mean how that whole thing works."

"Everything's weird. Can I ask you something now?"

"Yeah."

"What made you ask me that?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know. I guess I just want you…to…let you know…if you want…you can talk to me. I'm not real good with words…but I listen pretty good."

"That goes both ways."

Without her noticing, he grabs a handful of snow and drops it on her head.

"Oh, you…you," she makes a snowball and pelts him in the side of his head. They throw snowballs back and forth at each other, laughing the entire time. As Llanview was being buried under inches and inches of snow…and the streets became deserted…Todd and Tea were able to forget their demons and just laugh.