"I'm fine!" Nora insisted, stubbornly. "You're not fine and I don't want the staff to have to take the time to scrape you up off the floor. Now sit down!" Susannah spoke harshly but the tender way she took her sister's arm belied her words.

Bill helped Susannah get Nora to a chair in the lounge. Nora sat quietly for a few moments. Viki thought about going over to her, then she thought it best to allow the sisters to work this out between themselves. Nora had been so sure Todd was trying to pull something. She could not believe her judgment had been so clouded with hate that she would listen, but never really hear what Bo and Susannah had been trying to tell her. For a split second she wondered if the hate that clouded Todd's mind caused him to act in ways he was later sorry for.

Finally, Nora trusted her voice to speak. "He really is sick." "Yes, he's very ill. Adam, the little boy you saw, is one of over thirty alters." Nora swallowed hard. "Over thirty?" "Most of them are children. Hurt and frightened children," Susannah continued. Nora's body shuddered. "Bo said he was horribly abused by Peter Manning, much more so than anyone ever suspected." "Yes, Peter Manning did unspeakable things to that child, things that most children wouldn't have survived." Susannah did not go into detail. It would be up to Viki if she wanted Nora to know more. Nora understood this.

"I didn't know he had seizures. Is he epileptic?" "Yes. His seizure disorder just began a few days ago. He went into status epilepticus, which can be fatal. That's why Viki and Sam became so frightened," Susannah explained. "I've never seen anyone have a seizure before," Nora admitted. "It can be very frightening to see," Susannah acknowledged.

"So, this one has more than a broken paw," Nora stated. Susannah looked at Nora. There was no sarcasm in her voice or eyes. Susannah saw admiration. "Yeah, this one has a lot more," Susannah sadly responded. "I still hate that you are the one treating him, but I can understand why Viki turned to you. Anyone that ill needs the best doctor there is." Nora's compliment touched Susannah's heart. "Do you really think you can get him well?" Nora inquired. "I certainly intend to try. Believe it or not Todd has made some good progress." "He's so thin and pale. What happened to him?" "I'm sure it would be all right with Viki, but I need her permission before I can go into details of his medical conditions with you. I can tell you that Todd is improving, physically." Nora was shocked.

"You mean he was worse than this!" Nora exclaimed. "Yes, several weeks ago he could not even sit up or turn over in bed by himself. That Adam is able to run around the way he does is amazing progress." Nora could not imagine Todd Manning that weak and helpless. "Todd would hate that I saw him this way. Todd was uncomfortable without at least four layers of clothing on. He would also hate that I saw his emotional vulnerability." Nora realized "Yes, he would hate that," Susannah agreed. "Is Adam able to speak?" Nora asked. "He just came out yesterday. As far as we know he has no language skills."

Nora took a good look at her sister. Yes, she looked tired, exhausted actually, but there was something in Susannah's eyes that Nora had never seen before. Nora looked to where Bill stood. She appreciated that after helping her to the chair he walked away to allow the sisters their privacy.

"Bo told me you and Bill are getting serious." "We care very much about each other. He understands me." Nora knew how important that was to Susannah. She knew that their parents did not understand Susannah and most of the time neither did she. Yet, there was always a good reason for everything Susannah did, if a person were willing to look for it. Nora was ashamed that she had never looked beyond her feelings of betrayal to see why Susannah was so determined to help Todd. Why she didn't just recommend another doctor when Viki came to her. For the first time she understood Susannah was not trying to hurt her. She was trying to help a very ill patient.

Nora was happy for Susannah. She looked in Bill's direction again. "As mom would say, it looks like you got yourself some catch," Nora remarked. Susannah smiled. "Yes, I did." "Well, just between us, I think he got himself some catch too," Nora spoke lovingly. Tears came to Susannah's eyes. When Nora saw this, her own eyes welled up. "Do the folks know about you and Bill?" Nora asked. "Noooo! Mom would be on the next plane with list of caterers and have me fitted for a wedding gown if I even told her I was dating someone." Nora laughed because she realized how true that was. "Bill and I are a long way from anything that serious. We have to steal time just to get to see each other. I do hope to meet his kids next week," Susannah continued. "You've always been great with kids, kids and animals. They will love you," Nora pointed out.

Nora took Susannah's hand. "I like having a sister to talk to." "Me too," Susannah admitted. She gave Nora's hand a little squeeze. "I have some very good news," Nora said brightly. "Rachel is coming home in a couple of weeks. She's been staying with mom and dad. I think she is getting fed up, I mean that literally. Mom thought she looked too thin so she's been trying to stuff her with home cooking." Susannah and Nora exchanged looks. "Mom's home cooking! My God, I'm surprised Rachel didn't try to get them to take her back at Statesville," Susannah, commented. Both sisters looked at each other again and burst out laughing.

Sam and Viki looked toward Bill. His smile was as broad as Viki's. Even Sam managed a weak smile. It did everyone's heart good to see Susannah and Nora reunite. They all knew how much it meant to both of them. "Bo will be happy about this." Viki remarked to Sam.

"Bo and I are having a little homecoming party for Rachel. I know she would love it if you and Bill were there," Nora paused, "and so would I." "I love Rachel. I would love to come and I'm sure Bill would too. Unless there is a major crisis with Todd we will be there." Nora's first reaction was to say, "Is Todd more important to you than your own niece!" However, she stopped herself from falling into that old habit. She knew how much Susannah wanted to be there and only something terrible would keep her away. Instead, she filled Susannah in on what Rachel has been up to.

"It kind of ironic, Rachel has been working with autistic kids. She started out by volunteering while she was at Statesville. She loves it and is thinking of going back to school to make a career of it." "It's difficult but rewarding work. I'm very happy for Rachel. I think she will be very good at it. If she needs any help I would be more than happy to help her," Susannah offered. "I'll tell her," Nora promised.

Dave came out. He headed for Susannah. "Excuse me. I just want to tell you that Adam is all cleaned up and tucked into bed." "Has he woken up at all?" Susannah asked. "He made a couple of small sounds, but he's still postictal." "I'll be in to see him in a couple of minutes. Please tell Sam and Viki they can go in if they want," Susannah told Dave.

Viki and Sam walked to where Nora and Susannah sat before they went to Todd's room. Nora wanted to say something to Sam about Todd. She still didn't buy his and Susannah's faith in there being goodness in Todd, but she was sorry for all the times she put Sam down for his feelings. Whether or not she agreed with Sam's opinion of Todd she knew how he must be suffering. Right or wrong he loved Todd and to see someone you love so sick and in so much pain was torture. Nora didn't think this was the time to get into it. Sam still did look well.

Viki took one of Nora's hands and one of Susannah's hands in hers. "I think you each found something here tonight that you both lost a long time ago." "I guess we have Sam to thank for that," Nora joked. "At least I'm good for something," Sam said, sullenly. He then added, "thanks for bringing me here. I'm going into to see Adam." He left without saying another word.

"Viki, he's in bad shape. He spent the better part of the night getting drunk as fast as he could at Club Indigo." "I had a feeling he was doing something like that. I'm very worried about him. His guilt is eating away at him. He blames himself for not rescuing Todd. He saw signs of abuse. Todd made up reasons for all his bruises and burns and Sam believed them. "Burns?" Nora repeated. "Todd's father had a vast selection of ways to torture Todd. Burning him with cigarettes, a lighter, the stove, hot water, the fireplace, were just some of them. That was when he was not beating him with the buckle end of his belt, locking him in a trunk, stabbing him or sexually abusing him. On Peter's good days he would only belittle and humiliate him and make him feel as if he didn't deserve to draw breath."

Nora took a deep breath. She had no idea. Now she knew some of what Bo had always alluded to. "Nora, the things I mentioned are only the tip of the iceberg. You don't want to know all the things that were done to that child. I'm not saying you will ever forgive Todd for what he did to you. I do think that if you knew all that was done to him you might understand him a little better. Now is not the time. It's nearly two-forty. We've all had enough for one night." Viki turned to Susannah. "I think I am going to go to the family lounge after I see Adam. Sam needs some time alone with him. I think he needs to be with Todd more than I do tonight." "I agree. Sam is feeling useless right now. He needs to find a way to help Todd. Unfortunately all he can really do is be there for him. Maybe just spending the night next to him will help," Susannah concurred.

"I'd better be going. If Bo tried to reach me he'll be worried. I don't want to find some of Llanview's finest at my door when I get home. Besides Mud must have torn up the house by now. He doesn't like being left alone for too long." "Mud?" Susannah inquired. "Don't ask! You'll meet him soon enough," Nora stated and stood up to leave.

"Will you allow me the pleasure of walking you to your car?" Bill asked, not wanting Nora to walk to her car alone at that hour. "Definitely a catch," Nora whispered to Susannah. "Thank you. I would love that. I can fill you on some dirt about my sister while we walk," Nora said, turning to smile at Susannah. Susannah shook her head, smiling herself. Bill kissed Susannah goodnight. "I'm happy for you, Susannah," he whispered. Nora took Bill's arm as they headed for the doors that led off the unit. "Did you know that when Susannah played doctor with the neighborhood kids, she really played doctor. I mean she would take their pulse and temperature and make notations of any scrapes they had and . . ." Susannah smiled as the sound of Nora's voice trailed off as she and Bill got further away.

Viki hugged Susannah. "I think she understands," Viki declared. Susannah knew that right now the images of the ravages of Todd's illness were fresh in Nora's mind. Susannah knew better than to think all of Nora's fears of and anger for Todd would just vanish. Yet, she did feel hopeful. "I think it's a start," Susannah, responded. She put her arm around Viki's shoulder. "Let's go see how Adam and Sam are doing."

Carl was sitting on one side of Adam's bed and Sam sat on the other. Sam was stroking Adam's head as he stared down at him. Sam seemed lost in his thoughts. He didn't look up when Viki and Susannah came into the room. It was only when Viki put her hand on his shoulder that he seemed to realize they were in the room.

"Sam, if it's all right with you I'd like you to stay with Adam tonight. I'm so exhausted. I really think I need to spend the night in the lounge." Sam looked up at Viki. His eyes were bloodshot but the sadness in them was still apparent. "Of course I'll stay with him. Did you think I wouldn't!" Viki just didn't know how to talk to him anymore. It seemed that no matter what anyone said to him he interpreted it as condemnation of is ability to care for and protect Todd.

"No, I thought that you may be tired yourself." "Well, I fine!" Sam answered angrily and turned to Susannah. "Aren't you afraid I might slip him an extra M&M and ruin this whole program of yours?" "Sam!" Viki said sharply. "That is un-called for." Sam didn't apologize. He didn't even look at Susannah or Viki. He went back to staring at Adam and stroking his head. Viki and Susannah exchanged looks. Viki could see Susannah was as worried about Sam as she was.

Carl moved away so Viki could stand at the other side of the bed. She wanted to stay until he woke up, but she thought it best to leave Sam alone with him. Viki kissed Adam's cheek. "I'll be going now," she said to Sam. "You don't have to worry. I can take care of him, you know," Sam's voice was a monotone. Viki went to the side of the bed where Sam sat. She knelt down so she was eye level with him. "Sam, you know I love Todd with all my heart. If there is one person on the face of the earth I trust completely to care for Todd, it's you." An idea that Viki had thought about earlier suddenly popped back into her mind. "Sam, I would like for you to be Todd's co-guardian. I would like to make it legal." She could see that Sam and probably Susannah were shocked. "I need to talk to Téa, but if she has no problems with it, until Todd is well enough to resume their marriage I would like you to have the same legal rights to Todd as I do."

Sam was quiet for a moment. "Viki, you don't have to do this. Am I that pathetic to you that you think I need this reward so that I don't fall apart." Sam turned to Susannah. "Was this your idea? Is this the reward I get in place of a yellow M&M?" "Susannah had nothing to do with my decision." Viki tried to keep her voice calm. She knew Sam was not thinking straight. "Honey, Todd loves you and thinks of you as his dad. They all do. What if something were to happen to me? Would it be fair to Téa to leave all the decision making to her?"

Sam was quiet for a moment. Even in his current state of mind it made some sense to him. Although, he still had the feeling that this was some kind of charitable act. He also wasn't so sure Todd would want the same person who was blind to all his cries for help making decisions for him now. Right now the only thing Sam wanted to do was to take Todd away from all the pain and all the memories. He wanted to hold him until all he felt was love and safety. Sam knew how irrational his thoughts were and he doubted his ability to make the right decisions for the boy he loved more than life.

"Viki, I think you need to think long and hard about that. Doing what is best for Todd has never been my strong suit." Viki started to protest. Sam held his hand up. "I really don't want to discuss this now. Why don't you just go and get some sleep." Sam turned to Susannah. "Carl and Dave are here. You don't have to baby-sit me." "Sam, Susannah began gently, "I planed on staying tonight because it's Adam's first night out. He's very unpredictable. He's still postictal and I want to be here when he awakens. If everything checks out I will be spending what's left of the night in my office." Without looking at her, Sam said, "yeah, all right. I'm sorry. Do you want me to wait in the lounge until he wakes up?" "No, of course not. He should be awake soon. They will let me know and I will check on him. I'll be in my office."

Susannah left Viki with Sam. Viki looked at Adam. This was not the time to tell Sam she was going to allow Susannah to begin the ABA program with Adam. Tomorrow would be time enough. Viki kissed Adam and stroked his head one more time. She walked over to where Sam sat. Viki put her hands on his shoulders and massaged them. She could feel the knots in his muscles. "Sam, I know you're doubting yourself right now, just please don't ever doubt this. I love you and so does Todd. We both need you very much." Sam didn't respond with words. He reached up and patted Viki's hand. With his back to her, she didn't see the tear that slipped down his cheek. Viki kissed the top of Sam's head and left for the family lounge.

Adam stayed in a postictal state for another twenty-five minutes. Sam noticed his eyes flicker, then open. He called Carl in from his seat right outside the door. In turn Carl called to Marcia to alert Susannah. Adam stared straight ahead for a few seconds and then his eyes shifted to the right. His hand reached up and brushed against the side of his head repeatedly. He squirmed when Susannah held onto his forehead as she checked his eyes. "Okay, Adam. This won't hurt," Susannah's tone was soothing. As soon as Susannah let go Adam sat up and was ready to get off the bed again.

"He had a much shorter postictal state than the others," Susannah remarked. "Bedtime," Susannah gently pushed him back to a reclining position. "Aaahhh," Adam responded. He was still brushing his hand against the side of his head. "Heyyyy! Great talking, Adam!" Susannah praised and tickled the back of Adam's neck. She turned to the staff. "His head may be hurting him," Susannah guessed. "Marcia, please get him some liquid Tylenol. We'll see if we can get it down the NG tube." Susannah ordered. "Do you think there's any chance he'll hold still long enough for a feeding? He was do an hour ago," Marcia asked. They had not been able to do the feeding because of the circumstances. "I doubt it," Susannah shook her head as she answered. Why don't we try some juice and can you make a bowl of oatmeal. Maybe he'll eat it? Adam tried to get out of the bed on Sam's side. Sam held him as he squirmed and began to cry.

"I was hoping he was a good sleeper, and he is, when he's asleep, but he's having trouble staying asleep. Unfortunately, that is common to many children with autism. They will fall asleep but awaken in the middle of the night, ready for the day. Sleep deprivation is a big problem for many parents. Sam, if you want to join Viki in the lounge I'll stay with him," Susannah offered, cautiously. She was hoping Sam wouldn't interpret that as lack of confidence in his ability to handle Adam.

For a second the thought did cross Sam's mind. He looked into Susannah's eyes. He understood she just thought he might be tired. "No, I'd like to stay with him." Sam answered as he struggled with Adam. "I think we'd better allow him to get out of bed and play for a while. Maybe he will tire himself out and go back to sleep. If we force the issue he will tantrum. I don't want to sedated him if I don't have to." Susannah said to both Sam and Carl. Sam put down the side rail on his side and allowed Adam to crawl off the bed.

Adam ran over to another of his new favorite activities, the light switch. They all sat patiently while Adam turned the lights on and off over and over again. Susannah knew allowing him to do this was not helpful, but it was the middle of the night and given all everyone had been through and knowing what both Adam and Sam's reaction would be if she tried stop him, Susannah let it go until tomorrow.

Marcia brought in the Tylenol, juice and cereal. Adam was no longer brushing the side of his head so if it had been hurting it had most likely stopped or he was too occupied to notice. Susannah approached Adam with the sippy cup. She held it up. He didn't reach for it. His head was turned in the direction of the cup. She was reasonably sure it has his attention. She realized that he might recognize it as a source of juice and not want any. Susannah followed through anyway.

"What do you want?" Susannah asked. She took his free hand and pointed his finger to it. "Jh," Susannah modeled, then reinforced, "Good job pointing, Adam! Do this!" Susannah instructed. She modeled drinking from it for him. She held out the sippy cup to him. He didn't respond. "Do this! Susannah instructed again. She placed his fingers around the cup and brought it to his mouth and tilted it so some juice trickled into his mouth. Adam let go of the light switch and grasped the cup with both his hands and drank the juice. "Yaaayyy! Adam's drinking the juuuuice!" Susannah reinforced. Sam hated watching this child being made to perform like a trained seal before he was given a lousy cup of juice. Sam was about to say so when Susannah asked, "Would you like to try to feed him the cereal?"

"Please don't ask me to put him through any tricks before I give it to him because I won't do it!" Sam wanted to make sure that was clear to Susannah. "No, I would just like for him to eat. You can try in any way you think best." Susannah knew Sam needed some leeway. He would have to see that ABA would help Adam with his own eyes before he could accept it's methods.

Sam approached Adam, who had gone back to flickering the light with his right hand while he continued to drink his juice with the left. Apparently holding the cup was not incompatible to playing with the light switch. "Adam, maybe I can get you a flashlight to play with. How'd you like that?" Sam didn't really expect an answer. Sam held up the bowl of cereal. "Food," Sam said, simply. Adam sniffed the bowl Sam held. The smell of the warm, sweet oatmeal smelled good to Adam. "Ehhh," Adam rubbed his hand along his thigh as he repeated that sound. Susannah was sure this was a sign for hunger. Sam held out a spoonful of the cereal close to Adam's mouth. Adam tuned his face away and instead thrust his hand into the sticky mixture of oats and brown sugar that Marcia had prepared in the microwave and then cooled down with added milk. Adam shoved a handful into his mouth, getting as much on his face and shirt as he did in his mouth. "He seems to like light colored or yellow, creamy textured foods like oatmeal and macaroni and cheese," Susannah noted to her staff.

Adam ate several more handfuls of the oatmeal as Sam held the bowl out for him. Susannah could tell Sam felt good about being able to do even this small thing for the child. She was also happy to see Adam enjoy the food. The process of eating had distracted Adam from playing with the light switch. Susannah was afraid, however, that he was interpreting the food he enjoyed as a reward for his repetitive activity. Still she walked up to Sam and informed him. "He likes to be tickled on the back of his neck." Gently, Sam brushed his fingers along Adam's neck. "Good job eating, Adam," Sam praised. Susannah was pleased that Sam was willing to do that. Adam scrunched his neck back. "Ehhh" he called out as a small smile appeared on his lips. Sam smiled. He could tell Adam liked that. "Finally! I did something that this child likes," Sam thought.

When Adam had his fill, he ran back and forth across the room a few times. They were amazed at his energy. Adam's face, shirt and hands were full of oatmeal. Susannah instructed Carl and Dave to hold him still just long enough for Connie and Marcia to clean him off. Connie had made sure to put the kind of sweats Adam liked through a wash since the earlier incident. Adam squirmed but they were able to clean him off and pull off the shirt he was wearing and place another on him. Susannah and her staff were all relieved that Adam was not as sensitive to being handled as they had originally feared.

Adam still wanted to stim with the water. He headed for the bathroom once again. They were now keeping the door to it closed. Susannah noticed that whenever Adam wasn't running he was toe-walking. The closed door seemed to confuse him. He sniffed and licked the doorknob. He did not try to turn it or even touch it. He seemed to have no concept of the knob being a way to gain access to the bathroom.

They knew what he wanted. He wanted to stim in the water. It was now four-fifteen in the morning. Adam was wide awake. "No water!" Susannah said firmly. Sam was too tired to argue with her, besides he was concerned that Adam was up and running around at this hour. Adam started to cry as they led him away from the bathroom. He was so frustrated. In his mind he knew what he wanted, but had no way how to tell anyone. He could remember the feel of the water in his hands and he wanted that. He could hear the song Kevin sang and he wanted to hear it again. His crying became louder. He plopped down on the floor so suddenly Dave almost tripped over him as he led him from the bathroom.

Adam began hand-flapping. With his upper arms close to his sides, he raised his hands and flapped them, almost like a chicken flapping it's wings. Sam didn't know it, but this stereotypic behavior was very common for children with autism. Adam made a humming sound as he continued to stim this way.

Adam continued this behavior for almost thirty minutes. The sun was starting to come up. Finally, Adam became sleepy. He curled up on the floor and began to suck his thumb. He rocked himself to sleep. Fearing waking him up if they moved him to the bed, they gently slid a pillow under his head. Susannah covered him with another sweatshirt for added warmth. Sam bent down and kissed his head. Sam had a splitting headache. "It's been a really long time since I've had a hangover, but I sure have one now," Sam complained. "Would you like something for your headache?" Susannah offered. "A shotgun," Sam replied, a little embarrassed about the way he'd been treating Susannah. He appreciated that she was up all night too. "I would like about twenty Tylenol's," he sighed. "How about three of them and you go to the lounge for some sleep. I think he'll be asleep for at least a couple of hours, I hope," Susannah suggested.

Sam could hardly see straight. He took her up on the offer. "Just stop by the nurses station and Marcia will get the Tylenol for you." Susannah's heart broke for Sam. He looked so tired and defeated as he headed out of the room. She was very worried about him.

Susannah stared down at Adam, who had now turned over on his stomach as he continued to suck his thumb. "You've certainly made some first impression, Adam. You've really shaken things up around here." Susannah whispered to the sleeping child. She adjusted the sweatshirt that covered him and carefully stepped around him and lowered her tired body to the reclining chair that had been set up for Viki. She knew it was safe to allow herself to sleep. Dave was right outside the door and he and the other staff members would be checking on Adam often. The day shift would be coming on in just a couple of hours. Shortly after that Téa and Kevin would be coming in for some training in ABA. An EEG had been scheduled for this day, but now that Todd's brain had a recent seizure that would have to be postponed again. Susannah doubted that they would have been able to get Adam to hold still long enough for it anyway.

Susannah could not believe all that had happened since Adam had made his appearance. Some, things, like Sam's reactions sent warning flags through Susannah's head. Other's, like realizing that she loved Bill and most surprising of all, Adam bringing her sister back into her life made Susannah wonder if there was such a thing as fate. Susannah closed her eyes and before she knew it she was fast asleep.

TO BE CONTINUED