"Yes, he was. He was also calmer," Susannah confirmed.

*****

Todd woke up a few times during the night. He still seemed a little disoriented. At times he would remember he was at the hospital. Other times he thought he was home or at the Sun. Todd remained calm. He would call out for Viki or Sam, then he would fall asleep again. He did not have any more seizures. Sam came to the ICU around midnight. Reluctantly, Viki kissed Todd and Sam goodnight and went to the family lounge, on seven, to get a good night's sleep. Susannah spent the night in her office, getting some sleep on the couch. The ICU staff checked on Todd throughout the night and was pleased that his physical condition remained stable.

*****

The sun streaming through the window woke Viki up. She looked at her watch. She couldn't believe it was seven-forty. She never thought she'd get a wink of sleep because she was so worried about Todd. Exhaustion had taken over and she had slept through the night. At first she panicked, then she realized that they would have called her if there had been a problem. She quickly showered and changed and headed for the ICU.

Susannah also managed to get several hours sleep and woke fairly refreshed, as did Sam, who slept in a reclining chair next to Todd's bed. Sam had comforted Todd the few times he woke up and had been able to get him back to sleep each time. He went along with whatever Todd said. He comforted him about himself, Starr, and the newspaper. At one point Todd said he had to go get some food for Moose. Sam assured him that Moose had been fed and was sleeping. Todd muttered, "Thanks Sam." He then went back to sleep. There was almost something eerie about his calmness.

Todd was scheduled to be moved back to his room on seven in the late afternoon. They wanted to keep him in the ICU a few extra hours because he was still experiencing some confusion and extreme sleepiness. Todd was asleep when Susannah got to the there. "How are you doing?" she asked Sam.

"Not bad. I got plenty of sleep. Todd slept most of the night. He was confused, but he slept."

"I checked his chart and he's doing very well. His vitals are good. He's had no seizure activity. Looks like we'll be moving him upstairs later."

"Why is he still so confused and sleepy?" Sam pressed.

"Todd may be experiencing a longer postictal state after all. It really may not have been Todd who came out after the status epilepticus."

"You really think the kid who answered to Todd and couldn't see may have been an alter?"

"I don't know. Perhaps if he was, he'll come back again," Susannah answered.

Sam looked at Todd. He was still sound asleep. He knew Viki would be there any minute. "Susannah, can I speak with you outside, alone, before Viki gets here?"

"Of course. Let's go. We'll be right outside," Susannah told one of the nurses. She and Sam sat in the waiting area.

"I don't want to say this in front of Viki because I'm not sure about any of it and I don't want to upset her for nothing," Sam began. "I think I know why Tom is so upset with Kevin. Tom thinks Kevin and Téa are boyfriend and girlfriend. He thinks she's still angry with Todd and so she became Kevin's girlfriend."

Susannah was not shocked. Nonetheless, she was surprised. "Did Tom actually tell you this?"

"Yes, that night, after Téa and Kevin were both visiting him. He had been given his sleep meds and he was already groggy . . . maybe that helped him to say what he was really feeling. I don't know. He asked me right out if Kevin was Téa's boyfriend."

Susannah remembered back to that night. "That must have been why he was so upset about the rose. It wasn't just that he thought they were laughing at him. Well, we will have to make sure to straighten Tom out about that the next time he comes out."

"Susannah, that's just it. That's why I wanted to speak with you alone about this. I'm not so sure he's wrong about it." Sam could see that, now, Susannah was shocked. "Look, I'm probably way off here, but you know the alters . . . especially Tom . . . they have . . . I don't know . . . like this sixth sense when it comes to things. They sense your mood before you even know what you're feeling yourself."

"Is that what your basing your suspicions on?" Susannah interjected.

"No, not just that. Haven't you noticed a growing closeness between Téa and Kevin? Susannah, please understand. I don't, for a second, believe any of this is on Téa's part. I do see that Kevin seems to always pop up wherever Téa is. Kevin may not even be aware of it himself. I know he's lonely since he and Cassie separated. I know he is trying to deal with a lot of feelings and issues when it comes to Todd and the alters. I realize a tremendous amount of pressure has been placed on him by Todd's illness. Maybe he resents Todd for it and feels too guilty about that to acknowledge it? You're the psychiatrist. I don't know."

Susannah thought about it for a minute and she realized there was something in what Sam said. "Have you spoken, at all, to Viki about this?"

"No. She has enough on her plate without having to worry about this. I may be totally off base here. I hope I am, because if Kevin is starting to have feelings for Téa that is really going to complicate things around here," Sam responded.

"I don't like keeping things from Viki. In this case I do agree that we should find out if there is anything to this before we approach her with it," Susannah agreed.

Sam was almost sorry he mentioned it. "Do you plan on talking to Tom about this?" Sam asked anxiously.

"No, I plan on talking to Kevin about it."

Sam shook his head. He knew that was necessary. Nevertheless, he hated doing anything that might endanger the fragile relationship Kevin had with the alters. He knew that Timmy could not handle Kevin disappearing from his life again. "Please, make sure he understands how important his visits are to Timmy," Sam implored.

Susannah heard the desperation in his voice. "I will make very sure that Kevin understands that," she promised.

A nurse approached to tell them that Todd was waking up. Just as they were about to head back inside they saw Viki walking toward them. Seeing them in the waiting room she immediately became concerned. "Is there a problem?" Viki's voice trembled with fear.

"Nooo," Sam put his arm around Viki's shoulder. "We just didn't want to wake Todd up. One of the nurses just told us he is waking up now." Viki was relieved and headed inside with Sam and Susannah.

*****

Todd rolled over on his back. He felt the bed under him in an effort to orient himself. "Good morning, Todd. It's Doctor Hanen. How are you feeling?"

"Viki," Todd called and reached out.

"I'm right here, sweetheart." Viki took his hand.

"I feel weird," Todd complained.

"Can you tell us in what way you feel weird?" Susannah asked him.

"Far away. Am I in the hospital?"

"Yes. You are still in the ICU. You'll be going back to your room a little later today," Susannah informed him.

"ICU?" Todd knew there was something he needed to remember . . . something that was different . . . something bad. Then it came to him. He sat straight up. "Doctor Hanen! Doctor Hanen!" He reached out.

"I'm right here Todd. What is it?" Susannah took his hands.

"You told me I had . . ." He tried to remember the word Susannah had used, but he couldn't. "You told me I had fits. Did you tell me that or did I dream it?" Susannah knew he was ready to talk about this.

"No, you didn't dream it. Todd, you have a seizure disorder. It's called epilepsy."

He was quiet again. "So now I'm an even bigger freak," he mumbled. His head hung down in shame.

"Pal, listen to me. It's not like that. It's a disorder. It's nothing to be embarrassed about." Sam tried to reason with him.

"Should I just add it to all the other things I do that I'm not supposed to be embarrassed about?" Todd sarcastically stated.

Sam, Viki and Susannah exchanged looks. Susannah lowered the side rail and sat down on the bed. "Todd, have you ever know anyone with diabetes?"

Todd looked puzzled for a moment and then answered. "Yeah. A kid in my elementary school and one of the cleaning ladies my dad hired had diabetes."

"Do you think that made them freaks?" Susannah posed.

"No. They were just like everyone else, except they had to give themselves shots and not eat too much sweets and stuff like that."

"Well, epilepsy is not any more a freakish disorder than diabetes. It isn't something you catch or do wrong or cause to happen to you. It does not mean you have brain damage or are any less intelligent."

Todd remained silent for a minute and then asked, "So if I didn't catch this what makes it happen?"

"There is a tiny little scar in your brain. It probably happened when you sustained a head injury."

"Yeah, I've had lot's of those," Todd admitted. He looked ashamed.

"Todd, epilepsy is nothing to be embarrassed about. Many famous people had or have epilepsy."

"Yeah, like who . . . some criminals or something?" Todd asked bitterly.

Susannah had made sure to be prepared for this question. She hoped that Todd would eventually ask. "No, people like Julius Caesar, Napoleon Bonaparte, Peter the Great, Joan of Arc, Alexander the Great. Some of the great thinkers and philosophers have also been epileptic, such as, Pythagoras, Socrates, Thomas Edison and Alfred Nobel. The list include writers and actors like, Lord Byron, Mark Twain, Dostoyevski, Flaubert, Charles Dickens, Lewis Carrol, Edgar Allen Poe, Margaux Hemingway, Bud Abbott, of Abbott and Costello, Danny Glover. The apostle St. Paul had epilepsy, so did Vincent Van Gogh and the composer Tchaikovsky. That's quite an impressive list if you ask me," Susannah stated.

"Yeah, I guess. I even heard of some of those guys," Todd said softly. His comment made everyone smile. "So did I squash my brain or something when my head got hurt?"

"No. Your brain is fine. It just has a tiny scar that interferes with the electrical signals," Susannah explained.

"Electrical signals?" Todd looked puzzled. He had apparently blocked out what Susannah already told him about epilepsy.

Susannah hoped that he would allow himself to remember this time. Susannah needed to explain this in a way Todd could understand. "Yes. The nerves throughout our body act like telephone lines. They allow the brain to send signals to the rest of the body. These lines are called the central nervous system and the peripheral nervous system. Our nervous system is responsible for most of the actions of our bodies."

"I think I remember that from some Bio class, which I probably flunked. That's like all connected to our brains and spine," Todd interjected.

"Yes! Todd, that's very good. That is exactly right. The central nervous system includes the brain and the spinal cord and is like the interstate or highway of the nervous system. The peripheral nervous system is made up of the nerves that sense and control movement. They are like the back streets and roads of the nervous system. Signals travel down the central nervous system through the spinal cord until they reach their branch of the peripheral nervous system. Then the signals go through the peripheral nervous system to their particular nerve endings." Susannah paused and waited a few minutes for Todd to absorb what she just explained.

"So my nervous system has like this big detour sign that says road closed because of major screw up." Todd's voice had a touch of, understandable, bitterness in it.

"Todd, not a screw up . . . more like an accident. You know the detour sign is an excellent analogy. You are so very smart. When a seizure occurs, out-of-sync signals from the brain travel along the nervous system pathway to sensors, like the nerves that flex muscles. These out-of-sync signals may keep the brain from understanding what the eyes see or may cause a leg muscle to become weak." Susannah paused for a second and then continued. "Or, in the case of a generalized seizure, the out-of-sync signals can cause a person to fall or even lose consciousness entirely." Once again, Susannah paused and gave Todd some time to process what she just told him.

"Does that happen to me? Do I fall and become unconscious?"

Susannah heard fear and embarrassment in Todd's voice. "Yes, honey, you do. I know that sounds very frightening, but it's nothing to be afraid of or embarrassed by. The kind of seizures you have are called generalized tonic-clonic and they last for about three minutes to five minutes."

"I'm a freak," Todd mumbled. "No! Todd, didn't you hear what Doctor Hanen told you about all those famous people who have epilepsy? Listen, pal. Did you ever see Abbott and Costello on television?" Sam tried to get him to understand.

"Yeah," Todd answered. His head was still hung down in shame.

"Did Bud Abbott seem like a freak to you?"

"No," Todd responded sullenly. He was still not convinced.

"What about Danny Glover? Did you ever see him in a movie?" Viki asked.

"Yeah, he's cool," Todd replied with a little more enthusiasm.

"Sweetheart, you are no different from either of them," Viki assured him.

"You have a symptom of a neurologic disorder, a disorder that affects the brain and shows itself in the form of seizures. It is the same as having high blood sugar might make someone with diabetes very thirsty or cause them to have to urinate often," Susannah continued to explain.

Todd still looked frightened and embarrassed. "What makes the electrical stuff in my brain go out of whack? It must be something I'm doing wrong or maybe because I'm stupid or crazy? Maybe I can stop doing it?" Todd asked desperately. This brought bringing tears to Sam and Viki's eyes.

Susannah tried to think of a way to make this very complicated answer simple. "Okay. First, you did absolutely nothing wrong and you are neither stupid nor crazy. You do not get epilepsy because of something you do. The neurons, which are the nerve cells in our nervous system, send messages through an electrochemical process. This means that chemicals result in an electrical signal. Some very important minerals, called ions, like sodium, potassium, chloride and calcium have positive and negative charges, like a battery. They send electrical signals. The electric signals in the brain are very small, but they are enough for one neuron to switch on another neuron. Epilepsy is what happens when these cells misfire. A seizure happens when a large group of neurons misfire. In other words, it's a temporary short circuit of the brain. In your case, it happens because one of the brain injuries you suffered left a small scar on your left temporal lobe. The scarred area of your brain interrupts the normal flow of cell firings and a seizure happens."

Todd was quiet again. "Sweetheart, do you understand what Doctor Hanen just explained to you?" Viki probed tenderly. She stroked Todd's head.

Todd nodded and asked, "Is this going to happen to me a lot?"

"We hope not. If it does, we will keep you safe. You can also help to keep yourself safe," Susannah pointed out.

"It's never safe," Todd responded. He seemed hopeless.

"I know it seems that way, but you can trust us to keep you safe, in every way." Susannah heard Todd sigh. She knew he was still not able to trust in anyone telling him they would keep him safe. "Do you want to know what you can do to help yourself if you start to have a seizure?" Susannah pressed.

"You mean there's a way I can stop the seizures?" Todd asked hopefully.

"No, Todd. I'm sorry, honey. Once a seizure is starting to happen you won't be able to stop it. You can keep yourself safe by listening to your body. Sometimes, right before a seizure begins, your body may give you some signals that it is about to happen." Susannah paused. Todd didn't respond. Still, she could tell he was listening to her, so she continued. "The signal may be a sensation of an odd taste or smell. You may feel very tired. You may feel dizzy or have an upset stomach. You may have a headache or feel overly anxious or weird in some way."

"Big deal! Except for the taste and smell thing I always feel those ways," Todd snapped. Sam and Viki both shook their heads and looked at Susannah. Todd's constant suffering was hard to take.

"I know you feel very bad most of the time. Hopefully you will start to feel better soon." Susannah tried to sound encouraging. "The way you might feel any of those things before a seizure will probably be different. The feelings may be stronger or you may experience them in a different way than you usually do. If you feel any of those things it is very important that you tell someone and than go lie down and turn on your side. If you are near your bed go to that. If not, lie down on the floor wherever you are, unless you are somewhere that would make lying down dangerous. This will protect you from falling. It is important that you turn on your side so you don't choke on saliva." Susannah didn't add, from vomit as well. She knew Todd became frightened about throwing up, and that it would add to his feeling of self-loathing, as would the knowledge that he may lose control of his bladder and bowels. She would allow him to process this information before she went into more detail. Susannah noticed Todd did not bring up the subject of medication. Neither did she. It may have been an oversight on his part, however she realized it also might be that, unconsciously, he understood the need for medication. His fears about taking it might be keeping him from wanting to know he was receiving it. "Do you agree to tell someone if you feel anything like the things I mentioned or anything that feels different in any way?" Susannah pushed.

Todd shrugged. "Yeah. I guess so. What are you gonna do . . . lock me in a hospital!"

They smiled. They were surprised that Todd was able to see the irony in the situation. Sam put his arm around Todd's shoulders and hugged him. They were all so proud of him.

Looking almost afraid to ask, Todd spoke up timidly. "Are seizures painful?" They noticed Todd asked many of the same questions Tom had, only in a different way.

"No. The kind of seizure you have is not painful. Once the actual seizure starts you will become unconscious. When you wake up you may feel like you did this time . . . kind of sleepy and a little confused. You may have a headache and your muscles may be a little sore."

Todd shrugged. Once again, they realized that, for the most part, he always felt that way, only to a lesser degree. "Am I ever gonna be able to do things like everyone else?"

They could tell Todd was still frightened. Susannah knew that was to be expected. It takes time for a diagnosis like this to sink in. "Yes. Epileptics can do almost everything anyone else can do. In Pennsylvania, you won't be able to drive until you are seizure free for at least six months. You have to make sure you never go swimming alone, and you always have to leave the door unlocked when you take a bath or shower. It would be a good idea to let someone know when you are going to take a shower or a bath. You can still play sports and do whatever physical activities you liked to do before."

"If I ever get out of this loony bin," Todd muttered.

"You'll get out, honey," Susannah patted his arm reassuringly.

"Yeah, sure," Todd answered hopelessly. Sam held him a little tighter. Suddenly, Todd looked panicked. "Can Shorty catch this from me?"

"No! Absolutely not!" Susannah wanted to make this very clear to him. "Epilepsy is not contagious and in this case not hereditary. Yours was caused by an injury. Starr is fine. She is in no danger from your being an epileptic."

Todd was taken back by the last two words Susannah spoke. It was the first time he realized that now he was an epileptic. He started to feel extremely anxious. Todd hung his head. "My dad would be ashamed of me. He would be embarrassed to tell his friends he had a son who had fits," Todd whispered. A tear rolled down his cheek.

Viki lowered the side rail on the other side and sat down next to him. She cupped his cheek in her palm and turned his face toward her. She wished he could see her. "Sweetheart, do you remember when Starr was so weak she couldn't play like the other children? She had to have all kinds of special cleaning done around her. She needed all kinds of special medicine." Some more tears escaped Todd's eyes. He nodded. Viki continued. "Were you ever ashamed of her or embarrassed to tell anyone she was your daughter?"

"No! It made me love Shorty even more. I was so proud of her for being so brave and getting through being sick like that."

"Todd, don't you see? That is how a good and loving parent is supposed to feel. If your father would have felt embarrassed because you have a medical condition than he was the bad one. He was the one who was wrong to feel that way. Oh, sweetheart. You are so smart and good and so lovable. He never appreciated you. He should have cherished you. If I had been allowed to raise you I would have."

"So would I, Boomer. Not a day goes by that I don't wish I were your dad, from the start."

Viki was surprised when Todd suddenly pulled away from her. "It is a good thing I'm already in a hospital because I am going to be sick! Don't you ever get tired of lying to him . . . to all of them?" They recognized Saber's voice. Hearing the affirmation of himself that he longed for was terrifying to Todd, as was the hope it made him feel. He went away so quickly he didn't even feel it. Inside, Saber was furious that Viki and Sam would tell that worthless bastard lies to make him feel better about himself. "Viki, you and that dimwitted bimbo who also calls herself Todd's sister better get used to not having a brother."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Viki nearly shouted at him.

Saber smiled. He enjoyed watching her lose her cool. "You can take it to mean anything you like."

"Saber, are you threatening Todd in some way?" Susannah pressed.

"Me, threaten anyone?" His smile was chilling. Then his face became deadly serious. "I don't threaten, Doctor, I promise."

"Are you planning to hurt Todd in some way?" Sam asked through clenched teeth.

"Do you mean lovable, smart, good little Todd?" Saber burst out laughing. "You should try it sometimes. It is marvelous sport. I especially like when his head hurts and he begs for it to stop . . . or the time he woke up and found out that Rocky had sliced him up. Now there's a kid I can relate to. You're trying to turn Rocky into your vision of the good Todd too, aren't you?"

"We are trying to help Rocky. He is very confused about a lot of things. His father gave him some terrible messages." Susannah could see her words were making Saber furious. Yet, he stayed calm. He stayed frighteningly calm.

"You keep that psycho unit Todd and those brats are usually on very safe don't you? Locked doors . . . windows with unbreakable glass . . . no sharp objects allowed . . . watching and counting everything they touch . . . never leaving them alone for a second. That's very good, very clever. Just one thing you haven't taken into account." Saber paused for a second to enjoy the moment. He then continued. "I'm more clever. True, you are not making it easy, but I love a challenge. I'll find a way, and when I do, Todd will no longer be a problem to any of you."

"Saber. I know you say you don't believe it, but if you are as clever as you say you are, you realize that if Todd dies, so do you. So does Rocky. You all die with Todd."

Saber smiled again. "Do you think I really care what happens to Rocky? He is just an amusement. Even I get bored every now and then."

"YOU COLD HEARTED SON OF A BITCH! ROCKY LOVES YOU. HE THINKS OF YOU AS A FATHER. YOU COULD JUST STAND BY AND LET HIM DIE!" Sam yelled. Then he caught himself. He realized what he was doing. Saber had, so much, reminded Sam of Peter at that moment that he lost it. "Oh my God! Todd, I'm sorry. I . . ."

Saber burst out laughing. "Sam, you are priceless. Oh, we have to be soooo careful around poor crazy Todd don't we. We can't yell at him or hurt his delicate little feelings. Noooo, we have to humor him and treat him like a two year old," Saber mocked. "Don't worry, Sam. It is not your precious Todd you are pissed off at."

Susannah and Viki could see that Sam was left feeling confused by his feelings. "Saber," Susannah began, "look down at your body. What do you see?"

Saber made a great show of holding out Todd's thin arms and legs. "And your point, Doctor Hanen?"

"You are in Todd's body. If that body is destroyed, that is it for all of you. Your brain, the organ that makes you think you are a separate entity, needs a cranium to be in. You need Todd's heart to beat for you to live, Saber." Susannah could see she amused him.

"While I do thank you for the anatomy lesson, I think when the time comes, you will see that you do not know as much as you think you do."

"Saber, I understand that you want your freedom and you would like to be able take your body where you want it go. I do understand," Viki tried to reason with him.

"There you go. You see you are confusing me with Pete. Pete doesn't really want Todd to die. He just wants to be free. He claims he wouldn't care if Todd died in the process, but I'm afraid he would. He is still under the misconception that he has to help Todd. If Todd did die, Pete would not take pleasure in it. Now I, dear Viki, will take immense pleasure in watching Todd suffer and then die. It is something I have looked forward to for many years. The more Todd wants to die, the easier he makes it for me." Saber burst out laughing again. "Come on Sam. Do you wanna hit me? Do you want to do to me what you were too cowardly to do to Peter all those years ago?" They could see Sam clench his jaw and his fists. Saber's words cut like a knife. "Admit it Sam. Deep in that kindly heart of yours you believed Todd deserved everything he got or you would have done something to stop it." Saber looked around. "So, he has fits now. He certainly gives me an endless supply of ammunition doesn't he? I'm the one you should all feel sorry for. Do you now how long it's been since I've had a cigarette?" His mouth curled up in a smile.

"IT'S SO LOUD! IT HURTS! IT HURTS! OHHHH, MAKE IT STOOOOP! I'M NOT REAL. I WANNA BE REAL AGAIN. MAKE IT STOP. IT HURTS!" Todd shrieked in agony. He held his head.

"Todd. Todd! Shhhh. It's Doctor Hanen. You're very real. I want you to feel your body and the bed." Todd couldn't move. His fear rendered him immobile. Susannah took his hands and rubbed them on his face and then his arms and the bed.

Everything felt foreign to him. "That's not my body. It's not. They stole it. Where's Starr? Did they get to Starr?" Todd cried quietly to himself.

"Starr is fine. Blair is taking very good care of her," Susannah assured him.

"Viki, Sam," Todd wept. "Why'd you let them take my body? This isn't my body. I'm lost. I don't know how to find me." Todd started to shriek again. "I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THE WOODS ANYMORE! IT'S TOO DARK AND COLD! I'M AFRAID. MAMA! I'M AFRAID!" Todd reached out. When he felt Viki's hand he pulled his own back sharply. "TAKE IT AWAY! TAKE IT AWAY!" Todd screamed and started to whisper to himself again. "They took them. They took Viki and Sam. They took Starr. They took my body." Todd got on his knees and tried to crawl off the bed. Most of the leads to the cardiac monitor pulled away and the machine's alarm sounded. Todd stopped. He threw back his head and held on to it. It felt as if it would explode. "MAKE IT QUIEEEEET! PLEASE! OH GOD! MAKE IT QUIET. IT HURTS SO MUCH!"

"Saber, stop it!" Viki begged. Susannah put her hand on Viki's arm and shook her head. She knew that was just the reaction Saber wanted. Susannah hated to, but she ordered a sedative. Without the neuroleptic, Todd was starting to experience the same pattern of Saber coming out and then going into a psychotic episode; only now it could trigger a seizure.

A nurse injected a strong sedative into the IV line. Within moments Todd's screams faded to whimpers. His muscles relaxed. They held him so he wouldn't topple over. They laid him down on the bed. He whispered "Viki," and tried to reach out. His hand fell back down.

Viki lifted it to her and held it. "I'm right here, baby. Shhhh. It's okay." Viki kissed the back of the hand she held. Todd's eyes closed and he was asleep. They turned him on his side and covered him. Viki asked for an extra blanket and covered him with it. They took his vitals. He remained stable.

"Let's go outside and talk," Susannah suggested.

*****

They sat in the waiting area outside the ICU. "He should be out for a few hours. He probably won't be fully awake until he's back in his own room," Susannah began.

"So you're still planning on taking him back to the psychiatric unit?" Viki asked weakly.

"Yes. Physically, he's stable. Doctors Anderson and Williams will check him one more time before he leaves the ICU. One more ECG will be done and if everything checks out, and I'm sure it will, we'll take him back to seven."

Sam and Viki were relieved to hear that. They were still very concerned. "Susannah, what happened? He was doing so well. I can't believe he was able to discuss his condition the way he did. He escalated so quickly. He hasn't had a full blown episode like that in a while." The desperation in Viki's voice was apparent.

"Todd was able to do a wonderful job in taking about the epilepsy. I think he became overwhelmed and then extremely anxious. I also think he panicked when he started to believe what you and Sam said about how much you love him and how you wanted to be his parents. Hope is terrifying to Todd. He feels it only sets him up for pain and disappointment, because, in the past, it almost always did," Susannah explained.

"I really lost it in there with Saber. Damn it! He really pushes all my buttons." Sam was furious with himself.

"Sam, that was what he intended to do," Susannah pointed out.

"Do you really think he could make good on his threats?" Sam knew that Saber was deadly serious.

"I think he may try, if for no other reason then to show us that we are not in control, he is. It is always a problem when you have an alter who is working against the system and truly believes that they can survive if the host dies. In Todd's case he has at least two alters, that we know of, who feel this way."

"So what do you do, just let him try to kill Todd?" Sam was incensed.

"No, of course not. Todd is still on high suicide precautions. He is on one-to-one monitoring. He is always in arm's length of a staff member. He's on a sharps ban. Everything he touches or comes into contact with, even the children's toys, are checked for anything or any shape that can be used as a weapon. I can't swear to you that there is absolutely no way that Saber can harm the body. I can promise you everything humanly possible is being done to protect Todd and all the alters. I am taking Saber's threats very seriously."

Secrets 90, Page 2