"Sure I will, Boomer. I would love to help you skate."

"Wow! Did I hear you're going to get to go skating soon?" Frank asked as he approached Tom's bed.

"FRANK! You really did come to see just me." Tom's eyes filled with surprise and happiness.

"You bet I did, buddy. As soon as I got the all clear from the doc here I came right over." Tom reached out for a hug. Frank took him in his arms and held him tightly.

Frank had been a psych tech for almost fifteen years. Many patients had really gotten to him, but none had found their way into his heart the way Todd and his alters had. This patient was the one whom he took home with him at the end of the day. He knew he wasn't the only staff member to feel that way. He had seen what he felt in his heart in the eyes of his colleagues. He knew he wasn't the only one who needed to work out with a punching bag to dissipate the rage he felt toward Todd's father. More than once, his wife had seen the tears in his eyes when he found his mind drifting to Todd. He and the others had brought this up at some of staff meetings. Susannah made them promise to get some downtime and ask for a few days off if they felt overwhelmed. They all knew that burning out on a case like this was an occupational hazard, but so far none of them had taken her up on it. Like Frank, they enjoyed spending time with the alters and had nothing but fondness and admiration for Todd and his family. Knowing Todd made them all feel in awe of the human spirit.

"Frank, I got seizures cause my 'lectricity's no good cause my brain's mixed up. I gotta tell someone if I feel weird so I can lay down and . . ." Tom tried to remember the rest.

"Turn on your side so you can be safe until the seizure stops," Susannah helped him out.

"Yeah so I can be safe because the seizure makes my muscles mad."

Frank saw the pride in Viki and Sam's eyes as they heard Tom explain how he would help himself. In turn, they saw the affection for Tom in Frank's eyes. "Well, it seems that you really know how to take good care of yourself if you have a seizure. I am very proud of you," Frank praised him.

"So are we, Boomer. We are all very proud of you." Sam kissed the top of his head.

"Frank, look! I got my watch and Téa's gonna come to see just me too. Viki told her I was the one here and she said she wanted to come see me!"

"Téa cares a lot about you," Frank affirmed.

"We're gonna go skating when I'm back in my own room and Coach is gonna hold me cause I have to have two people hold me. You can come too." Tom looked at Susannah. "Frank can come too, can't he, even though that's three people?"

"Sure he can. Maybe we can even get him up on Rollerblades." Susannah looked at Frank and kidded.

"Don't think I can't." Frank looked down at his huge frame. "I'll have you know under all this is the body of a surfer boy." Frank smiled as he patted his stomach. He turned to Tom. "I would love to go skating with you and Sam and Téa." Frank loved seeing Tom smile from ear to ear.

Tom's exuberance suddenly turned to sadness. "You don't have to if you're still mad at me. You can hit me first."

Frank was shocked. "Tom, I'm not mad at you. I would never, ever, hit you, not ever."

'He don't really care about me,' Tom thought to himself, but said, "Okay. Then I guess we can skate together." They all noticed some of the joy had gone out of Tom's eyes.

Susannah, Sam and Viki went to have some lunch while Frank visited. Tom was a little uneasy about their leaving, although he didn't panic. Susannah explained that in the ICU, not too many visitors were allowed at the same time. She told him that Frank really wanted to continue to visit with him. Tom didn't put up much of a fuss.

Viki and Sam assured him they were only going to the cafeteria in the hospital and would not be far away. Susannah told him she would be in her office and if he needed her all he had to do was tell one of the nurses and they would get her immediately. Tom seemed okay with their leaving.

Frank had bought Tom some new Star Wars action figures and some of their vehicles.

"Wow! A Landspeeder." He put the Luke Skywalker figure in it. He handed the Tie Fighter and the Darth Vader figure to Frank. "You be Darth Vader and I'll be Luke Skywalker." Tom seemed happy as he and Frank both made up voices to play their characters. They were still playing when lunch was brought in. Frank was pleased that Tom ate most of the grilled cheese and fries and drank all of his chocolate milk.

Just as Tom was finishing he heard a voice say, "I hope you left room for some cookies."

"TÉA!" Tom shouted gleefully. "I LOVE COOKIES!" Téa was so relieved to see him looking so much better. She walked to the bed and gave him a hug. Tom held on to her tightly.

"Téa, Frank came to see me special too." He looked at both Téa and Frank. "You knew it was me who was here, right?"

"Tom, I was very happy when I heard it was you. I love to spend time with you," Téa assured him.

"Is your heart singing?" Tom asked in a serious tone.

Téa smiled. "My heart always sings when I know I'm going to get to spend some time with you."

"I knew you were the one who was out too, buddy. That's why I bought some Star Wars toys. I know how much you like Star Wars," Frank assured him as well. Tom smiled and showed Téa his new toys.

"Would you like some chocolate chip cookies for dessert?" Téa offered. She rattled the bag, gently. Tom looked eagerly at the bag Téa held up and nodded. She placed a few of the, still warm, bakery made cookies on a napkin and rested it on his tray.

"Would you like some more milk to go with those?" Frank asked. He was happy to see Tom have a good appetite for a change. Tom nodded again. Frank went to the nurses station to ask if he could get some milk for Tom from the pantry on that floor.

"Téa, I got seizures cause my 'lectricity's messed up."

Téa was surprised that Tom had already been told about his disorder and that he was taking it so calmly. "I know, Tom. I'm sorry. It'll be all right."

"I gotta tell someone if I feel weird so I can be safe," Tom explained.

"That's very good. I'm so happy that you know how important that is." Téa looked at him lovingly.

"Doctor Hanen says we can still go skating." Tom looked down at the blankets. "If you still wanna skate with me."

Téa noticed a tear slide down his cheek. She didn't understand what had just happened. He seemed so up just a second ago. "Tom, of course I want to go skating with you. What would make you think I didn't?"

He shrugged. "I thought maybe you wanted to go skating with Kevin instead."

"Kevin!" Téa was surprised. "Why do you think I want to go skating with Kevin?" Tom shrugged again. He didn't say anything. He just sat with his head hung down. A few more tears trickled down his cheeks. Téa sat down next to him. She stroked his head. "Tom, I don't want to go skating with Kevin. I want to go skating with you. I'm looking forward to it." Tom looked up at her. He quickly looked down again. Téa had enough time to notice the sadness in his eyes.

"Can you hit me now?"

"What?" Téa thought she heard wrong.

"Can you hit me now?" Tom repeated.

"Tom, what are you talking about? I'm not going to hit you."

Even more tears fell. 'I'll bet she would hit Kevin,' Tom thought to himself. He hated that he was crying in front of Téa. He tried to stop. He couldn't. He knew she was thinking he was just a big baby and wimp, like Pete told him he was. Tom pushed the tray away and turned over on his side. He buried his face in the pillow.

Téa put her hand on his shoulder. "What's this all about, Tom? Why do you think I would hit you?" Tom didn't answer. Téa was not sure how to handle this. She wished Frank or Doctor Hanen would come back.

*****

The ICU pantry was out of milk so Frank had run to pediatrics, one floor up, to see if they had a couple of containers of milk they could spare. He didn't want to take the time to go to the cafeteria, or to their own pantry on seven, and leave Tom waiting that long.

*****

Going purely on instinct, Téa turned Tom over on his back so she could see his eyes. She brushed back some of the strands of hair that clung to his tear stained cheeks. "Tom, why do you think I should hit you?"

"I was bad and made a mess. I have to disciplined so I won't be clumsy and I'll become a man, like Kevin."

For a minute Téa didn't understand what he was talking about. Then she remembered the pancakes. "Tom, do you mean because the pancakes fell on the floor?" He nodded as fresh tears fell. "Oh Tom." Téa pulled him up and took him in her arms. "That was an accident. I'm not angry with you. I love you. I won't ever hit you or hurt you on purpose." A vision of hitting Todd with the shovel passed through Téa's mind. Her own eyes welled up with tears. 'He thinks I'm angry with him? Madre de Dios! He's the one who should hate me,' Téa thought. She wondered how Tom would feel if he knew that, in all likelihood, she caused him to become epileptic.

"But I made a big mess!" Tom insisted.

"Tom, I don't care about messes. I'm only sorry you got upset when the food spilled. The mess doesn't matter."

Tom felt nervous. His stomach was tied up in knots. He couldn’t believe that Frank and Téa did not want to punish him. He reasoned that maybe making him wait for it was part of the punishment. He could accept that. What was killing him was the thought that neither of them cared enough to want to straighten him out and that they would do just what his mother did. They would leave him. At least his dad stayed around and tried to make a man of him.

"Okay. You don't have to hit me now if you don't want to." Tom pulled away from Téa and sat cross-legged. "You wanna see the toys Frank bought me?" Tom carefully explained all about Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader to Téa. He seemed apprehensive when he described what a "bad man" Darth Vader was. "I'll bet he has bad hands that do stuff to hurt everyone," Tom commented causally. Téa knew he was making a connection between the fantasy figure and his father.

Frank came back with a couple of containers of milk. He saw that Tom had been crying. "How you doing, buddy? Is something bothering you?"

Tom shrugged and timidly asked, "Can I have my milk now?"

"Sure you can. It's nice and cold and goes great with chocolate chip cookies," Frank stated as he poured the milk from one of the containers into a cup.

Tom ate his dessert and drank his milk without saying much. They noticed he still had a tremor in his hand that was more pronounced when he lifted the cup. They said nothing. They knew he didn't want anyone to think he was a baby. Téa and Frank tried to engage him in conversation. He answered them with one-word answers or a shrug of his shoulders. They were concerned because this was not typical behavior for Tom.

Alice, one of the ICU nurses, came over to give him his second oral dose of Dilantin. Tom became frighten when she came near him. She didn't realize not to tell him it was medication that she was going to administer in his feeding tube. As soon as he heard she wanted to medicate him he panicked.

"Hey, buddy, relax. This won't hurt. You won't even know you're getting it. It goes right down the tube like the food supplement," Frank tried to comfort him. Frank whispered to the nurse. "Call Doctor Hanen."

"I DON'T WANT ANY MEDICINE!" Tom shrieked. Frank was used to him not wanting meds, but Tom never yelled like this, at anyone. He was concerned over this.

"Tom. Please, sweetie. Calm down. The medicine will help you not to have seizures. Come on. I'll hold you while the nurse gives it to you," Téa pleaded with him.

Tom ducked under her arms and tried to get off the bed. Frank caught him and expertly turned him around and held him pressed against his chest.

"LET ME GO!" Tom shrieked.

"Tom, you need to calm down. No one is going to hurt you," Frank calmly assured him. "I'm going to need some help here," Frank called to the ICU staff.

"YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME AND NEITHER DOES SHE. LET ME GO!" He was shrieking at the top of his lungs.

Afraid the stress he was under would trigger another seizure, the resident on duty ordered him sedated.

Suddenly he stopped struggling. "You get your fuckin' hands off of me. You're not my dad. Only my dad can touch me."

Frank had an idea who had just come out. Cautiously, he released his hold. He held his hand up when the nurse came closer with the syringe. She looked toward the resident. She was not feeling at all comfortable with this situation. The resident indicated that she should hold off. They were both grateful that someone from the psychiatric unit was with this patient.

"Rocky?" Frank asked.

"Yeah! So what!" He pulled away from Frank and pulled up to the headboard and raised his knees to his chest.

Téa knew about Rocky and saw what he had done to Todd's body when he cut it with the glass. She had never met him.

"Rocky, no one is going to hurt you. You are in the ICU and you need to stay calm and stay in bed," Frank directed.

"Only my dad tells me what to do!" Rocky snarled.

"You really love your dad, huh?" Frank commented.

"I love my dad best of anyone. He always tries to help me to be good and be the best. He's coming for me and then everyone better watch out."

"Okay. That's fair. We stand warned," Frank told him.

Susannah came into the ICU. "Rocky came to say hello to us." Frank apprised Susannah of the situation.

"Hello Rocky. Do you remember me?" Susannah probed.

"Yeah. You're the lady shrink. My dad's gonna be real pissed off at you for always trying to get everyone to talk bad about him."

Rocky looked at Téa. Recognition came into his eyes. "I saw you naked," he teased in a singsong voice. Téa's face blushed red. "You tried to get Todd to fuck you, but he's not man enough. Me and Saber laughed at him real good. At you too. My dad would know what to do with you. You should have come to my dad. He's a good fuck. He says all his girlfriends think so. Someday he's gonna teach me how to treat all you women. Especially a cock teaser like you."

"Rocky, you are being rude. You need to stop this behavior right now," Susannah said firmly.

The nurse and the young resident exchanged looks and stepped away. They allowed Susannah and Frank to handle the situation.

"My dad and Saber are the boss. I don't have to take orders from you. Or from him," he pointed to Frank. Rocky looked at Frank. He took in Franks size. "You're bigger than my dad, but I bet he can still beat the shit out of you. No one is tougher than my dad." Rocky turned his attention back to Téa. "You're a whore. You're just like all the others. You married Todd for money. Just like the whores my dad sleeps with. He gives them money and presents. He says he fucks them even when he hates them."

Téa was close to tears. She was shocked that this alter knew so much about her relationship with Todd. Even though she knew Rocky was a part of Todd, it disturbed her greatly that Rocky knew these intimate details of her marriage. "I love Todd," Téa declared firmly. She looked Rocky in the eye.

"I love Todd," he repeated, mimicking her. "Téa is a liar," he taunted in that same singsong voice.

"Why is Téa a liar?" Susannah pressed.

"Because no one loves Todd. They all hate him and want to hurt him and leave him. So she's a liar. She's a whore and a big fat liar. Todd married two whores. My dad tried to warn him."

Susannah sat down on the bed. "How did your dad try to warn him?"

"He always told him what women were like. He told him that no woman could ever love him and she'd be lying if she said she did. He told him if he ever had any money they'd just pretend to love him so they could get their hands on it. My dad was good to Todd and Todd never appreciated it. Not me! I love my dad. I listen to everything he says. He's always right." Rocky was quiet for a moment. "I wanna call my dad. Let me use the phone."

"I'm sorry, Rocky. You can't use the phone. You have to stay in bed," Susannah informed him. She was hoping he would let it go at that.

"Then you call him and tell him I want him to come and get me."

This was certainly not the time or place for him to be told his dad was dead. "Rocky, it's the middle of the day. Some dad's are at work in the middle of the day and don't like to be disturbed." Susannah now hoped that would be enough to make him drop the idea of calling his father. Luckily it was.

"Yeah. My dad don't like to be called at work. One time one of those stupid boy twins got him called down to school and he got real mad."

"What happened to make the school call your dad down?" Susannah inquired.

"Scared was bad and made my dad hit him and broke his ribs. At recess another boy pushed into him and it hurt so much he couldn't breath. They took him to the nurse and she took off his shirt and saw he was all beat up. Stupid Scared got frightened when the nurse asked him how he got hurt so I came out and told that nosy bitch I got hurt playing football with my friend. She still called my dad down to school. Fuckin' bitch," Rocky muttered under his breath.

"Was your dad angry when he got there?" Susannah asked.

"I don't know. I pushed Tom out. I didn't want my dad to think I was stupid enough to break the rule."

"The rule?" Susannah pressed.

"Yeah," Rocky said.

"Can you tell me what the rule is?" Susannah prompted.

"You don't ever tell about private family stuff. It's nobody's damn business and if you tell you'll get punished and then they'll take you to the place they put bad kids and you'll never get to come home again."

"Were you the best about not telling?" Frank asked.

"Yeah! You bet I was!" Rocky's face beamed with pride. "My dad never had to punish me. I was always good and I appreciated everything he did for me. I'm the only one dad likes to spend time with. We do all kinds of stuff together."

"What kinds of things did you get to do with your dad?" Susannah asked.

"We would toss around the baseball and the football and dad lets me watch television with him and he lets me taste his booze and cigarettes and dad taught me how to play poker and once when he was real drunk he showed me his magazines." Rocky turned back to Téa. "Most of those woman have way bigger tits than you. They liked to be hurt with stuff. Do you like to be hurt?" They noticed that Rocky did not ask this in a hurtful way. There was an innocence to his tone and his eyes. He really wanted to know. Téa sensed this.

"No, Rocky. I don't like to be hurt. Those kinds of magazines send a twisted and distorted message to people. They are meant to degrade women. Do you know what that means?" He shook his head and gave her his attention. He was apparently interested in what Téa had to say. "It means that it puts women down and tries to humiliate them. It makes them seem less than human, as if they are objects that have no feelings and no brains. That is a very wrong message to give a little boy."

Rocky thought for a few moments. He looked confused. Then he got angry. "I think that's what my dad thinks women are and if he thinks that it must be true so stop lying to me, Téa. You're like all the others. You're a lying whore. When you couldn't get Todd to fuck you probably ran out and fucked someone else. You're just like all of them. Blair was a whore and so are you. You love a good fuck more than Todd and you walked away and left us and never came back."

Téa realized Rocky wasn't even making sense. She knew he was getting everything confused with his mother leaving. Yet there was enough fact in what he said to make Téa want to leave. "I'm going. If you like I can stop by the cafeteria and let Sam and Viki know what's going on."

"GO AHEAD AND LEAVE, WHORE! THAT'S WHAT YOU ALL DO BEST! VIKI'S A LYING WHORE TOO AND SAM IS A LIAR AND AN ASSHOLE, SHIT HEAD. I HATE THEM!" He turned to Susannah and Frank. "AND I HATE YOU AND YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU. I WANT MY DAD!" Rocky was on his knees. He was screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Téa, I think it would be a good idea if you left now and yes I would appreciate it if you told Sam and Viki about Rocky coming out," Susannah responded.

"I HATE YOU TÉA! YOU'RE A FILTHY, LYING, BITCH, WHORE." Rocky tried to climb off the bed and go after her.

Frank quickly restrained him. Susannah helped hold his legs. Rocky screamed in frustration. Just as Téa was about to exit the ICU she heard Tom's voice. He cried out for her. "Téa! Téa! Please I'm sorry. Don't leave. I'm sorry. I'll be good. Please! Téa!" Téa came rushing back. Frank and Susannah released their hold on Tom. He immediately threw himself into Téa's arms. "Téa! Please! I'm sorry I was bad. I'm afraid of medicine. Don't go away. I'll be good. You don't have to beat me if you don't want to. Please don't stop liking me. I'll be good. I won't spill stuff. I'll be real careful. You don't have to love me best. Just love me a little. Téa please!"

Téa held him tightly. She kissed the top of his head and rubbed his back. Tom was crying so hard he was gasping for breath. "Tom, Tom! Tom listen to me. Shhhh. Mijo, listen to me."

Tom's whole body was trembling as he continued to sob uncontrollably. The young resident asked Susannah if she wanted the sedative he had ordered earlier administered. Susannah decided to let Téa try to calm him for another minute or two and then, if necessary, he was to be given the sedative.

"Tom, I love you. Don't you know that? I was so happy that you wanted me to come see you today."

He started to calm down a little. "Your heart was singing?" he sobbed.

Téa hugged him and rocked him. "Yes, Mijo. My heart was singing. It always does when I know I'm going to get to see you."

Tom's chest heaved as he slowly got his breath back. His face was blotchy and his eyes were red and swollen from tears. Téa sat down on the bed and leaned him back in her arms so that his head rested in the crook of her elbow. His body rested limply as she cradled him. He was too exhausted from what Todd's body had just been through to move. Téa hugged him a little closer to her. She brushed the damp hair from his face and kissed him on the forehead. She continued to rock him gently.

Tom opened his eyes and looked into hers. "I love you a whole bunch," he whispered. He didn't have the strength left for more than that.

"I love you a whole bunch too, Mijo."

"I promise I'll be good. Please don't leave me," Tom begged.

"I promise." Téa kissed his forehead again. "I'll never leave you. Shhhh, try to sleep." Téa spoke soothingly.

Tom closed his eyes. When he felt himself drifting off, he jerked and opened his eyes again. "You're still here. I was afraid you left."

"Yes Mijo. I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere. It's safe to sleep." Téa continued to rock him. Finally, he allowed himself to fall into the deep sleep his worn out body craved. Téa held him and rock him as he slept.

TO BE CONTINUED