*****

Tea's first thought was that this was the alter who may have been Blair's lover. Yet, the voice was familiar. She knew that he may have come out once or twice during her time with Todd. Tea wasn't sure though, so she introduced herself. "Hello Rodd. It's nice to meet you."

Rodd lifted Tea's hand. He stroked it. "Ahh yes, Tea. I am sorry I could not identify myself when we met before. Can you forgive me?"

Tea's heart rate speeded up. She was nervous around this alter. Still, she really wanted to get to know him. "Of course I forgive you, Rodd. I understand."

"Yes. You always were very understanding." Rodd sat up and looked around. "Doctor Hanen, it is always nice to see you." He noticed Viki and Sam and Kevin in the room with him. "May I stand up?"

"Yes, Rodd, just stand up slowly in case you get dizzy," Susannah cautioned.

He followed directions. He seemed fine. He walked over to where Viki and Sam sat. He put out his hand for Sam to shake and then took Viki's hand in both of his. "Sam, Viki, it is so nice to see you again. I have missed you." He walked over to Kevin. He held his hand out. Kevin shook it. "I'm am afraid you are at a disadvantage, Kevin. I know you, but I don't believe you know me."

"I've heard about you, Rodd," Kevin answered.

"Good things I hope," Rodd smiled warmly.

Kevin was uncomfortable. He was only used to dealing in an adversarial way with any from of adult Todd. He was afraid the anger he felt toward Todd and Pete would come out with this alter.

As if he sensed it, Rodd said, "I have always wanted to apologize to you for the behavior of some of the people I live with. You were treated unfairly. So, please accept my apology."

Kevin looked in his eyes to see if he was mocking him. All Kevin could see was sincerity.

"Miss Perkins says you are very good to the children. I know she would want me to thank you," Rodd graciously told Kevin. Rodd then turned back to Tea. She was still sitting on the bed. She was also still slightly in shock by Rodd surfacing. He sat down next to her. He smiled. Tea smiled back. "Tea, you have a lovely smile. It is a shame that beautiful face was made to look sad so often. I hope you understand that Todd never wanted to hurt you. Even Pete really didn't want to hurt you. He just . . . well . . . let's say he gets angry easily." Rodd looked around anxiously. He did not like to take a chance talking about Pete. Even though Pete was much younger than he, he was afraid of him. Rodd looked at Tea. Tears filled his eyes. "I should have come out to help you more. You think of me as a coward, yes?"

They were all surprised by what Rodd had to say. "No Rodd, not at all. I know you would have helped if you could." Tea was hoping she was saying the right thing.

He took Tea's hand again. "It was harder for me to come out when Todd was with you. With Blair, it was easier. Todd was more afraid . . . and poof! . . . I came out to help him. With you, it was not so easy. Todd held on more. He felt safer, so he did not come in to hide as much. I am ashamed to tell you, but I have no control over Pete. I don't pretend to be strong, Tea. I won't lie to you."

"Rodd, it's all right. I don't expect you to fight Pete for me."

"I would like to. I would like to fight for you. I would also like to be able to walk out of here and take you to all the wondrous things there are in this world and share them with you. It is unfortunately that Todd does not know how to enjoy life's finer things. Tea, do you like opera?"

"Opera? Yes, I enjoy it very much. I don't go very often."

"I would like to take you someday. I would like to take you to New York . . . to the Metropolitan . . . then for a candle lit dinner at this little place I know on sixty-seventh, off the park . . . then for a ride in carriage driven by a white horse. You would like that, yes?"

"Yes," Tea answered. She meant it with all her heart.

"Rodd, have you been to New York City?" Susannah inquired.

"Yes. I managed to sneak away every now and then."

Susannah smiled. She wondered if Todd had woken up to find himself in a strange city.

"So, when Todd is well and we are separate, he can stay home and listen to his rock music and we can go to the opera."

They all felt sadness. They realized that when Todd is well, Rodd will cease to exist as he is now.

"What about museums? Do you like to go to them?"

Tea realized that Rodd had probably wanted to ask her these questions many times before, but couldn't because he had to pretend to be Todd. "Yes. I like museums, Rodd."

He moved a little closer to her. "Then perhaps we can make a weekend of it . . . museums . . . walks in the park . . . the opera . . . dinners? We can go shopping. I will buy you anything you wish. Someday my parents are going to come back for me. Oh Tea, you would like them. They are very good people. My father is a musician. Our house was always filled with music and laughter. He never liked it quiet. No, he liked joyful."

Tea could see peace and longing in Rodd's eyes as he "remembered." She realized he believed every word he said.

Rodd continued. "My mother was very happy. She was always smiling and laughing. My father is very kind. He will like you. He loves for me to have friends. My mother will cook for you. She loves to be with me. My parents and I are very close. They love children and so they let me come here to help out, but I know they miss me terribly. I will surprise them and introduce you to them and to my sisters. They will all love you."

He smiled and took Tea's hand again before he continued. "I can cook for you. I am a very good cook. You will see." Tea looked at her lap. Her heart was breaking for him. Rodd gently lifted her face to him by her chin. "Why are you so sad?" A tear slid down Tea's cheek. He looked into her eyes. "Ah, Tea mia. You are afraid I am just dreaming and it will never happen, yes?" Tea didn't know what to say. He read her like a book. He seemed sensitive to her every move and emotion. "Don't be sad. It will happen. Doctor Hanen is a very good doctor. She will help Todd. When she does, we will all be helped." He turned to Susannah. "I would like to stretch my legs. I can go for a walk, yes?"

"Yes, but I would like it if Frank walks with you. Okay?"

"Yes. I like company. I can teach him about art. If he is interested?"

*****

"That was Rodd. I can't believe that was Rodd," Tea exclaimed, as soon as he had left the room.

"Susannah, why do you think Rodd surfaced after all this time?" Viki asked.

"I can't be completely sure. I believe it was several reasons. First of all, Rodd is very kind. Since no one else came to help Bad Boy, he volunteered. I also think it had to do with Todd seeing Tea. I think the mature part of Todd wanted to be able to talk to Tea and not feel he disgusted her. He also may have started to have some sexual feelings after being so close to her. Todd can't handle that . . ."

"So Rodd comes out." Tea finished Susannah's sentence.

"Yes. Tea, if Todd starts to feel sexually stimulated, it terrifies him. The good feelings are all tangled up in some very bad, painful and confusing feelings. He is afraid of what those feelings mean and the way he may act them out. For Todd, sexual pleasure is confused with control, violence and very inappropriate behavior. He was introduced to sexual acts at an age when he had no concept as to how to handle them. His sexuality was never allowed to develop normally. He was made to do and see things no child should ever have to know. We may have only scratched the surface of the things Todd was made to endure and witness. He was not only physically abused, sexually, but emotionally as well."

Susannah realized this was difficult for Tea to hear. Nevertheless, she needed her to understand. "Peter liked to have sex with his girlfriends while Todd was made to hear it. It was usually rough and violent. Todd tried to drown it out with music. He tried to put headphones on so he could turn the music up enough to block the sound coming from his father's bedroom. When Peter found out he was doing that he took the headphones away so Todd would be forced to listen. He also bragged to Todd about his sexual conquests. Peter would speak of women in a very derogatory way. Sometimes it was Todd who was out for all of this and sometimes, when he couldn't take it anymore, it was Pete or it may have been Rocky. Pete's attitude is that Peter Manning really knows how to handle women. I imagine that to please his father, Todd tried to have the same attitude. Only, deep in his mind and heart, Todd never believed what Peter was doing was right. Pete has no such problem. Even though Pete thinks he hates Peter, he has lived his life trying to emulate him and please him. Although, he would never believe that if I told it to him. Another point is that Todd has confused sexual abuse with parental love. Now you need to understand that Todd is not conscious of any of this. Most of those feelings have been delegated to some of the alters."

"Like Andy and Timmy," Tea sadly acknowledged.

"Todd's feelings are just too mixed up for him to tolerate them now," Susannah explained.

"But Rodd, who has never been hurt and who thinks he has these loving parents, doesn't feel any of that confusion or guilt or pain," Tea stated.

Susannah was glad to hear that Tea was understanding this and not letting her emotions cloud the issues.

"Yes. Rodd is able to handle his feelings and act on them without any problems," Susannah confirmed.

"So, is Rodd coming out a good or bad thing?" Sam asked.

"I think it is good. I think Todd has taken his feelings and made the healthiest choice he could, under the circumstances. Granted, it was not a conscious choice. I think that a mature and happy adult alter came out is encouraging. His feelings could have caused him to dissociate into Andy, Timmy or even Lisa and Sarah, as they all experienced sexual abuse. Or he could have reacted violently to his feelings and Pete could have come out, instead Rodd did. I definitely think that is a good thing. It also tells me that he chose a positive response to Tea's visit, if not, most likely Pete would have come out."

Tea smiled. "Rodd is really something."

"Yes he is. I am always amazed at his knowledge of art and music and, as he said, 'the finer things in life,'" Viki declared. Once again she was in awe of her brother.

Tea thought of something. "You know, I remember I was once looking for some old books I had stored away in a closet that Todd never used. I found this hidden compartment and found some opera tapes in there. I assumed they had belonged to Alex or Carlo Hesser. The had lived in the penthouse before Todd bought it. I never even thought to ask Todd about them," Tea confessed.

"They were probably Rodd's. He told us he used to keep his things hidden away so as not to upset Todd." Susannah speculated.

"So, Todd may have has this whole other life going on and neither he nor I were aware of it." Tea shook her head at the realization. "Did Rodd ever say why he didn't come out very much when I was with Todd? . . . I-I mean he came out when Blair was there?" Tea was slightly embarrassed by the implications of her question.

"Rodd once told me that during Todd's marriage to you, Todd wanted to be there very much. This made it more difficult for Rodd to come out. Apparently, you were able to give Todd a level of safety that kept him from dissociating as often," Susannah explained.

"Until Georgie Phillips died," Tea remembered.

"Yes, that trigger was too much for Todd. It all started to come apart for him after that," Susannah acknowledged.

Kevin had been sitting there, quietly. He had mixed feelings about Rodd. He did believe him to be genuine in actions and words, but he felt awkward interacting with an adult alter. He knew he had to get over that if he were ever to forge any kind of a relationship with Todd or Rodd for that matter. "I think I will join Rodd and Frank in that walk," Kevin announced as he stood up.

"Kevin, are you sure?" Viki asked. She knew her son even better than he realized.

"It's okay mom. I will watch what I say to Rodd. I would like to get to know him. Susannah, is it all right?"

"Sure. I think you will find Rodd very easy to get along with," Susannah gave her permission and commented. Kevin headed out the door. "I'll walk you out. I need to go back to my office," Susannah told Kevin.

*****

Blair nervously played with the straps of her purse. She smiled self-consciously at Matthew Allen's secretary. She nearly jumped out or her skin when he came out to escort her into his office. "How are things going Mrs. Manning?"

"Not great, have you decided to take my case?" Blair had no patience for small talk.

"I want to impress upon you again that this is a very difficult case. The chances of winning it are very slim. Viki Carpenter is well respected in this community and she is Todd's blood relative. A judge has already seen her fit as his guardian."

Blair was confused. "Are you saying that you're taking the case or you're not?"

"Yes, Mrs. Manning. I am taking the case."

Blair was flooded with relief. "Things have been even worse since we spoke. One of Todd's alters, Timmy, was in a deep depression. He was so pitiful you just can't imagine. No one was doing anything for him and that vulture he is married to was hovering around trying to cover her tracks."

Matthew wanted to make sure Blair was being as objective as possible, under the circumstances. "Mrs. Manning, Todd's current wife, would be expected to be near him."

"You don't understand," Blair protested. "She is only hanging out at the hospital, now, to throw suspicions off of her and Kevin Buchanan."

Matthew twirled his pencil in his hands for a few seconds as he thought. "Mrs. Manning, I know you believe that, but it is unsubstantiated. I can't take that into court unless you have proof."

Blair opened her purse and took out the picture. "Would this help to substantiate it?" She handed him the picture.

"Who took this?" Matthew asked.

"I'd rather not say. Let's just say it's someone I am paying very well for his work and his silence."

Matthew was impressed with Blair's initiative. "This doesn't really prove anything, but it certainly creates suspicion. Was this taken on the street?"

"Yes, down in Angel Square. Tea has an office down there. She is able to act quite charitably on Todd's money."

"Have Mrs. Manning and Mr. Buchanan ever acted inappropriately in front of Todd or any of the alters?"

"Not in front of me," Blair, begrudgingly admitted. "They might have, in front of Sam and Viki. They are both so blind to Tea and to Kevin that they might have just overlooked it or even condoned it."

"Do you really believe that they are encouraging this behavior?"

Blair hated to, but she had to say, "I don't believe either of them would let anyone deliberately hurt Todd. I also don't believe they're keeping too close an eye on Saint Delgado. She is sneaky and she's smart." Pointing to the picture, Blair bragged, "but I am smarter."

"Has Todd's physical condition deteriorated any more since we last spoke?"

"Well . . . no . . . actually he is a little better. He is able to walk without too much help and he looks a tiny bit better. He is still severely underweight and being fed through a tube for most of his nutritional needs. None of them eat enough to sustain them without a supplement. They are still drugging him all the time and using restraints on him and . . . Oh my God! How could I forget? They let him try to kill himself."

"What!" Matthew was shocked.

"Yes! An alter named Rocky came out. He broke a lamp and cut his chest and hand with the glass. He needed over twenty stitches each in his chest and hand. They kept him tied down and heavily sedated afterward."

"Was anyone watching him when this occurred," Matthew pressed.

"Everyone! He was having a session in Doctor Hanen's office. Sam and Viki were both in the room. The psych techs were right outside the room. With all of them there, not one of them stopped him from hurting himself."

Matthew shook his head. "At any point, was his life in danger from his wounds?"

"It could have been. Todd has a rare blood type and he needed transfusions. If it had not been available he could have died or he could have gotten infections from his wounds. Do you see why I have to get him away from those people?"

"I'm beginning to Mrs. Manning, I'm beginning to." Then Matthew asked, "Have you made any preparations if you should win this case?"

"What do you mean?" Blair asked.

"If we go before a judge and tell them we want Todd out of the hospital there has to an alternative plan. He is far to ill to simply be released to you. You mentioned you wanted to bring him home. Well, have you made arrangements with doctors and nurses? Will he need hospital equipment at home . . . a hospital bed . . . oxygen . . .? You say he has had heart problems. Will there be emergency equipment there and should it become necessary, will someone who knows how to use it be there?"

Blair's mind was spinning. She hadn't thought that far ahead. She was terrified of the idea that Todd's heart could require emergency intervention at home.

"What about his medication?" Matthew continued. "I know you don't feel he should be on so much, but you also told me he and some of the alters are severely depressed. I imagine he will need to be on some. Are you prepared to make sure he gets his medication, even if he doesn't want it? Have you given any thought to how it will be handled if he loses control and becomes violent or harmful to himself? You say you don't approve of Todd being restrained. How will you handle it if he can't be controlled any other way?"

Blair wanted him to stop. She was not ready for this right now. She needed to speak with Dorian.

Matthew still went on. "What about your daughter? Have you found a way to explain Todd's condition to her? Will his room be segregated from the rest of the house so that your daughter is never exposed to Todd if he is having an episode or if a violent alter comes out? Do you think Todd will be able to handle his child seeing him this way? And one more thing . . . you mentioned Todd is blind. Is your home equipped for that? Is it a safe environment for him?"

"My God!" Blair exclaimed.

"Mrs. Manning. These are all things a psychiatric social worker will look for. Todd's safety and well being come first, then the safety and well being of your daughter. Are you still sure you want to go through with this?"

Blair thought for a second. Visions of Todd and Timmy came to her mind. Then visions of Tea and Kevin did. "Yes! I am sure. I will just need a little more time than I thought before you set anything into action. My aunt is a doctor. She will be able to help me with Todd's medical problems and she can recommend the best doctors and nurses to help him. I also need a little time to explain things to Starr. She knows her daddy is sick, but not really in what way. I have to talk to her and see if she is ready to hear this." Blair started to stand up.

"The is one other thing," Matthew declared.

'Oh God! Blair thought.

"You do realize Todd or whoever is out will have to be examined by several doctors and might have to be interviewed by the judge who is handling the case. You need to decide if you think that will be too traumatic for him. From what you have told me the child alters, and even Todd, frighten easily."

"Especially around strangers," Blair added. She now made herself nervous.

"So, you see Mrs. Manning, there is a lot to consider. I want you to go home and really think this through. Perhaps if you spoke with Todd's family and his doctor again you could work out some kind of compromise. You said your aunt is a doctor. Maybe her presence will help calm things down?"

Blair couldn't help but laugh. Matthew stared at her. "Excuse me. I'm sorry. It just that . . . well . . . relations are strained between my aunt Dorian and Todd's family. They are cordial now, but that might be tentative. Mr. Allen, I will think very long and hard about everything you mentioned. However, in all likelihood, I will still want to go ahead with this case."

"May I keep the picture for the file?" Matthew requested.

"Yes. It's a copy. There may be more. I am still having them followed." Blair shook his hand and left.

Shaking his head again, Matthew thought to himself, 'You are in for the fight of your life, Mrs. Manning, not only in the courts, but also trying to keep your ex-husband alive and safe.'

Secrets 79, Page 2