As Connie came closer he screamed, "ARE YOU DEAF BITCH? I SAID NO DRUGS! GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT! GET AWAY!" He continued to scream and continued to try to free himself. Connie quickly injected the sedative. "NOOO! I SAID I DON'T WANT DRUGS. I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" "I hated to do it at this hour, but I called Doctor Hanen," Connie told Viki. Viki didn't even hear her; she just stared at the scene in front of her. She knew that he had to be restrained for his own good and the damage his outburst could do to Todd's body. She knew that voice. She knew, as did the staff, that Pete had come back.
*****
"Pete you need to calm down," Carl, who was in charge of communication, spoke calmly and firmly as he held him tightly.
"GO TO HELL!" Pete shrieked.
"Try to relax, Pete. We'll keep you safe. We won't let you hurt yourself," Carl assured him.
"I'M NOT TRYING TO HURT MYSELF, YOU ASSHOLE! I JUST WANT OUTA HERE!"
"You know we can't let you do that," Carl reminded him.
Pete felt the medication hit. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!"
"Pete the medication Connie gave you is going to help you relax and calm down. It'll make you sleepy. Don't fight it, just relax," Carl spoke slowly and soothingly.
"BEFORE THAT! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME! TO TODD'S BODY! I HATE YOU!" Pete shook his head, trying to clear it. His muscles started to relax. He hated this feeling.
The staff slowly relaxed the hold they had on him. He immediately tried to kick out. They once again tightened their grip. "We're not going to let you hurt anyone Pete," Carl let him know in a no-nonsense tone.
Pete was fighting the sedative with all his strength. He knew he had to get away from them. He had to get Todd's body away from them because they were going to blame him. They would put him in jail. He knew he would never allow anyone to send him back to prison.
When Pete had woken up in Todd's bed, a short time ago, the last time he was out, at the lodge, came flooding back to him. He knew he had to get away. He saw Viki sleeping on the chair. He quietly got off the bed. He had to hold on to it for a moment as a wave of dizziness washed over him. He immediately realized something had happened to Todd's body.
He had no idea how long he'd been away. It didn't matter. He was back now and he knew what he had to do. That was when he used the rage he felt to give Todd's body the strength it needed to try to escape. Now they had him. He felt powerless. Nothing made Pete feel more rage than feeling powerless. He wanted to hurt someone. Connie, he wanted to hurt Connie. He wanted to make her feel the way he was feeling. She's the one who drugged him. He knew if these goons would just let go of him, drugs or no drugs, he could teach Connie not to mess with him. She was just like the rest of them. Liars and cheats.
A part of Pete trusted Susannah and Viki, but whenever he felt that trust it would make him feel afraid. He didn't want to end up caring about them the way Todd and most of the others cared about Todd's mother. Pete would never want to set himself up that way and leave himself as vulnerable as loving Barbara Manning had left Todd and the others. There was only one female Pete had ever known that he believed cared about him. Only one that he wasn’t afraid to trust. That was Michelle, and he didn't ever really know her. He watched her from afar. He didn't remember being inside Todd until he came out, but somehow he knew all about Todd's life. He remembered that Michelle wasn't like the others. She didn't want to abandon Todd, not even at the end. She never did anything to hurt Todd. He remembered what the other Todd had told Susannah at the lodge. He remembered how weird he felt when he came out there. Like he was in a dream, but it was real at the same time. He remembered what it felt like to have his hands around Peter's throat. 'Why did you stop me Sam?' Pete thought. Pete didn't realize it, but he was starting to calm down. His muscles had relaxed even more. His breathing had become more even. He couldn't shout at them now even if he wanted to. It was only through sheer will, that he kept himself conscious.
They moved him to the bed and put him in restraints. He fought them as best as he could. He knew he didn't have the strength to stop them and it terrified him. They were surprised at Pete's ability to fight off the medication as much as he had. Any of the other alters would have been asleep by now.
Viki, who had been asked to wait outside while they got him settled, saw Susannah fumble with her key while she waiting to be buzzed in through the doors. Viki could tell that she had gotten dressed hurriedly. She approached Viki and asked, "What happened?"
"I don't know. I was asleep. The shouting in the hallway awakened me. He must have sneaked out. By the time I came out they had him in a hold on the floor," Viki told her all she knew.
"Connie called me and told me she was sure it was Pete. She told me he was out of control," Susannah stated.
"The sedative didn't seem to have much effect on him at first . . . I don't know . . . I think he's calmed down now . . . I don't know. He's not shouting anymore. They asked me to wait out here."
Susannah could see Viki was distraught.
"Susannah, should I call Sam?" Viki inquired.
"Why don't you wait until after I've had a chance to see Pete," Susannah suggested. She placed her hand on Viki's shoulder and gave Viki and assuring look.
Susannah headed into Todd's room. Carl, Dave and Connie were still with him. Pete was still. He was not asleep. His eyes were open. They were glassy. Susannah approached the bed. She knew Pete recognized her.
"Untie me. Tell them to untie me," Pete demanded, weakly.
"Not yet Pete. You were very upset and you need to be safe. The restraints will keep you safe. You can be as angry as you need to be and you don't have to be afraid you'll hurt yourself or someone else."
"I don't want to hurt myself. Why won't anyone listen to me!" Pete pulled at the restraints as best he could to show Susannah he meant business.
"Pete you might not mean to, but you could do something that would inadvertently hurt Todd's body."
"If I wanted to hurt Todd it wouldn't be inadvertent. Why does his body feel like this?"
Susannah could see that Pete was frightened of how weak he felt.
"Pete, Todd's been sick. His body has become weak. His body will get stronger again. You don't have to be afraid of feeling this way forever," Susannah spoke soothingly.
"If we were separate I wouldn't have to feel lousy because of him. He should have died," Pete declared.
"I know you believe if Todd dies you can all be separate and have your own bodies and your own lives. Pete, that can never happen. If Todd dies, you all do."
"You're a liar. Just like she was. Just like they all are," Pete accused. He did not want to believe what Susannah told him.
"Like who Pete? Who else is a liar?" Susannah pressed.
"Women! You all are. You all deserve what you get."
"Did your mother deserve what she got?"
"I told you! I have no mother. I have no mother! Why can't you remember? Why can't you remember!"
Susannah saw he was getting more agitated.
"I'm sorry Pete. Yes, I do remember you told me that. Okay, did Todd's mother deserve what she got?"
"Yes! . . . No! . . . Yes! . . . I don't know. She wasn't my mother. I don't have to care about her. I don't! I don't! I don't!"
"Okay Pete, shhhhh, calm down. You don't have to care about her if you don't want to." He started to calm down again. "Pete what is the last thing you remember before coming out here today?" Susannah asked.
"I was back in the Chicago house and then I was at Asa's lodge."
Susannah realized Pete believed he was really back in Chicago, trying to kill Peter again. He did not understand what had happened at the lodge.
"Do you remember what happened at the lodge after you came out. Do you remember what you said?" Susannah questioned him gently.
"I know he told you."
"You know who told me?"
"The other Todd. The one who cries all the time. I didn't do it. I didn't. I'm not going to jail. I didn't do it. You always wanted to find out about that night because you want them to put me in jail. I didn't do it. I didn't do it!" Pete cried out and tugged at the restraints.
Susannah could see he was becoming very anxious and angry. "Pete, I know you didn't do it. Everyone knows you didn't do it. No one is going to blame you. We know it was Todd's father," Susannah stated in no uncertain terms. She wanted to make sure he understood that they all believed him.
"You're trying to trick me. You want me to confess. I didn't do it. They thought Todd raped that nurse and put him in jail. He didn't do it. He told them he didn't do it, but they put him in jail anyway. Please let me go. You say you care about Todd. I'll take him away where they can't find him," Pete begged.
"Pete, I swear I'm not trying to trick you. No one is going to put you or Todd in jail." Susannah emphasized the words no one. "We will never let that happen." Susannah promised him.
"I want Sam! Where's Sam?" Pete was getting even more agitated.
"All right Pete. I'll call Sam and ask him to come here now. Will you do something for me?"
Pete just stared at her.
"Will you close your eyes and try to sleep. Todd's body needs rest. I promise I will bring Sam here to see you and when you wake up you can talk to him."
"If I go to sleep they can do anything they want to Todd," Pete protested.
"Pete, you have been away for weeks since you were at the lodge and no one has put Todd in jail. It's safe for you to rest."
A part of Pete wanted to let go, while a part of him was terrified of not being in control. He continued to fight the sedative.
"Pete, I do have one more question for you and then I'll call Sam, okay?"
Pete nodded. Susannah could see he was listening to her.
"Do you know where Michelle is buried?" Susannah asked.
"In Paradise."
"Viki. Viki! Why can't I move! Why can't I move!" Todd's panicked voice cried out.
"Todd relax, you are in restraints. As soon as I know you are calm I'll take them off," Susannah stroked his head as she told him this.
"Viki," he whimpered quietly.
Susannah noticed he was not fighting the restraints and his words were slurred. The medication that Pete had been able to resist was starting to hit Todd. "Todd, I'll be right back I'm going to get Viki. She's right outside. Connie and Carl are in here in your room. You're not alone. It's all right."
Todd didn't answer. He just kept whimpering Viki's name.
Susannah told Viki that Todd was out and very briefly filled her in on what Pete had said. She asked Viki to come with her to Todd's room.
"Todd. It's Viki. It's all right baby. I'm here." Viki stroked his head gently.
"Viki," Todd whispered.
Susannah told Connie and Carl to start removing the restraints.
"Viki, Viki." Todd kept whispering.
"It's me sweetheart. I'm right here."
"I'm cold. It's cold here in the winter. No, it's the summer. I don't understand. Viki please let me stay with you. Please! I'm so tired. It's so cold out here. Viki please!" Todd begged. His voice was growing weaker and his speech became more slurred. He reached for Viki.
"Todd you're not outside. You're in your hospital room. You're in your bed, sweetheart."
"No, I'm standing. The earth is hard. I can feel it. I hear the wind."
"Todd can you see anything? Do you see where you are?" Susannah asked.
"No it's dark. I don't like being in the dark."
"Todd, do you know where you are? Where is the earth hard?" Susannah pressed.
"I don't know. Maybe it's not the same place?" Todd looked confused.
"Not the same place as where?" Susannah pushed him a little.
"I don't know," Todd cried. Tears started to run down his cheeks. "Don't be mad at me. I'll be good."
"Shhhh, Todd no one is angry with you," Susannah comforted.
Todd got a look of horror on his face. "He's here! Don't let him find me," Todd whispered. He curled into a fetal position and started to suck his thumb.
Susannah closed her eyes and shook her head. "Oh Todd," Susannah sighed and rubbed his shoulder. She looked at Viki. She saw the tears in Viki's eyes. "Viki, he's doing what he needs to do. Todd knows when he can't take anymore. Hopefully he'll come out of it soon." They both looked down at Todd, who had rolled onto his stomach, still sucking his thumb.
The Baby was still in control when Sam arrived at eight o'clock in the morning. He was upset that they had not called him when all this occurred.
"Sam, Pete went away before I had a chance to call you. Then Todd dissociated to the Baby. What could you have done?" Susannah reasoned.
"I don't know, nothing probably, but I could have been here for him and for Viki."
They tried raising the bed to a forty-five degree angle to keep his lungs clear. The Baby could not stay in that position. He kept falling onto his side and then started crying when he couldn't turn on his stomach. Susannah had him moved to a chair and had them secure him to it. He cried at first, but Sam and Viki distracted him with toys and soon he was his joyful self again. He reached out to their mouths as they spoke and happily gurgled.
Bill Jackson waited at the desk at the Palace Hotel. He wanted to find out about the best and shortest route to Llanview Hospital. He had spoken with Susannah earlier that morning. She was expecting him. He had also called Bo to let him know he was in town. He wished he could meet Todd Manning. However, he intended to keep his promise and make no attempt to see or question him.
Susannah told Sam and Viki that Commissioner Jackson was coming to her office at eleven. She said she would meet with him privately but if it was all right with him they could join them.
Bill was buzzed onto the unit at ten forty. "Let me show you to Doctor Hanen's office. She's expecting you," Terry informed him.
The private family unit Todd was on surprised Bill. He'd never seen one like it before and with good reason. Such units were out of financial reach for the average patient and their family.
On his way to Susannah's office, Bill noticed a blond woman standing outside a patient's room, obviously upset. Another woman was comforting her. "Viki, they are just running a simple blood test on him. Of course he's going to cry when he feels the needle go in. Why is it upsetting you so much today?"
"I don't know. I just don't want him to know pain. He is so happy. He's the only one who can be happy. I don't want him to know pain. He already went through so much," the blond woman wept.
Bill noticed the gentle, soothing quality the woman doing the comforting had. "Commissioner?" Terry called out when she noticed Bill had stopped near Todd's room for a moment.
"What? Oh, I'm sorry. I was just noticing how upset that poor woman was. I guess you get a lot of that here . . . families becoming upset at the condition of their loved ones?"
Terry knew Commissioner Jackson was aware of Todd's condition and it was all right to speak with him about it. "That's Viki Carpenter. Todd Manning's sister," Terry informed him.
Swallowing hard, Bill asked, "And the woman with her?" "That's Doctor Hanen. Mrs. Carpenter is a little upset because one of Todd's alters was crying because of a blood test and Doctor Hanen was comforting her. She won't be long, I'm sure. You can still wait in her office."
Bill sat in one of the club chairs in Susannah's outer office. He nodded at the receptionist and checked through the papers in his briefcase. He had the affidavit from Doctor Evans and some sworn statements from some of Todd's teachers. He had one from Adam Beecher, Peter's old business partner. His mind wandered from the papers before him to the distraught woman in the hallway. He could not forget the look of sorrow on her face. He also could not forget the kind and comforting voice of Doctor Hanen. From just those few seconds he could tell that these women cared very much about Todd Manning.
"Commissioner Jackson?" Susannah addressed him. She held out her hand for him to shake, "I'm Susannah Hanen."
"A pleasure to meet you Doctor Hanen, and please, call me Bill."
"Thank you, and you can call me Susannah."
They walked into Susannah's inner office. "Can I get you anything? Coffee or perhaps something from the cafeteria?" Susannah offered.
"No, thank you. The Palace has wonderful breakfasts. I'm afraid I've already gone overboard on Llanview cuisine," Bill admitted and smiled.
Susannah smiled back and confessed, "Well I really need a cup of coffee this morning."
As she poured herself a cup of coffee Susannah, in her usual straightforward manner, got right to the point. "Do you intend to keep your word about not questioning Todd?"
Bill appreciated her bluntness. Still smiling he assured her, "Yes Susannah, I intend to keep my word. I have no intention of questioning Todd at this point."
"Are you saying that you do intend to question him at some point?" Susannah pressed.
"Not without an okay from you. I gave Bo and Tea my word. I don't go back on my word."
"Thank you," Susannah said, relaxing some.
"Is the boy worse? Is that why his sister was so upset? The nurse mentioned something about one of the alters being upset and a blood test."
Viki had already given Susannah permission to discuss any aspects of Todd's condition and treatment with Bill. Viki and Sam trusted Susannah's judgment and knew, in turn, Susannah would know how much information Bill could be trusted with.
"Not really worse," Susannah began, answering Bill's question, "Todd had a very bad night. Actually so did Viki. She was with him. An alter named Pete came out in the middle of the night and tried to leave. He had to be sedated and restrained. Then Todd came back and he started hallucinating and became terrified. He dissociated into a five-month-old. Viki was upset because the Baby, as we call him, was hurt by a blood test. The Baby is the only alter we know of who hasn't suffered at the hands of Todd's father, Peter Manning."
Susannah could see that Bill was listening to her intently. She continued. "The Baby is usually very happy and Viki wants him to stay that way. He went through a lot when he had pneumonia and she doesn't want him to be hurt anymore. He, naturally, started to cry when he felt the stick of the needle and that upset Viki. As I said, her nerves are still ragged from last night. The last several days have been very difficult for her. I'm actually a little worried about her. She's not getting enough sleep. She is afraid to go home. Todd becomes extremely anxious and agitated if she is not around. The other day he had to be sedated and restrained when he called for her and she was not here. Viki felt very guilty. Ever since then she refuses to leave him. Perhaps now that the Baby is out she will agree to get some rest."
"Are you telling me that at this moment Todd is actually a five month old infant?" Bill sounded confused.
"Todd has dissociated into a five month old alter. This alter is a five months old. He can't sit up by himself. He is preverbal. Bill, do you have children?"
"Yes, two boys and a girl."
"Picture the way your children were at five months, developmentally, and that is the way the way the Baby is. He can do nothing for himself. He can roll over, that's about it." >
"Yeah, I remember my kids started to be able to do that at that age and . . . wait a minute, we're talking about a grown man here. Are you telling me that physically he is an infant as well as mentally?"
"Yes. Bill you need to understand that Todd is not pretending to be an infant. The Baby is actually an infant, in the same way that Miss Perkins is an older woman, with all the aches and pains that come with it. She walks hunched over. Her vision is poor. Her heart rate is slower than Todd's is. Timmy, the four year old alter, is allergic to wool. Todd is not. Andy wets the bed. The others do not. Some of them are left-handed. Todd is right handed. The list just goes on and on. What you have to realize is that the alters are individuals. They each have their own needs, their own issues and their own likes and dislikes. Each one of them has to be respected in his or her own right. Eventually, they will all become part of Todd. They will still exist, but as a part of him as opposed to separated parts." Susannah could see by the look on Bill's face that this was a lot to take in.
"Tea said he had something like twelve or thirteen alters," Bill stated.
"Nineteen as of yesterday. Although the last one to come out might be a fragment," Susannah updated him.
"How can that boy live like this? He must not know if he's coming or going?"
"Actually although at times things get very confused, especially for Todd, the system is most likely very well organized. I'm not yet privy to the dynamics of Todd's system. In all likelihood every alter was created for a purpose. They each handle a specific emotion or trauma that Todd went through. For the most part they come when he needs them."
"It must take a child with an unusually creative mind to do that. I mean my kids had imaginary friends, but . . ." Bill was at a loss for words.
"Only children have minds flexible enough to do this. Todd was also an unusually bright child. Many DID patients are. Todd has a genius level IQ. He is also extremely creative. The irony is that he was made to believe he was stupid and without talents or gifts."
"By the father?" Bill guessed.
"Yes, he made Todd feel like nothing, like he didn't deserve the air he breathed. He started from the time Todd was a baby. He drummed it into Todd's head that he was stupid and worthless and a loser. He told him he was bad and clumsy and ugly. He would punish him for drawing a picture for him. He would punish him for vomiting. He would make him lick it up. One of the alters, Andy, a six year old, would throw up when the father forced oral sex on him. One of the punishments for that was having to lick it up. If Andy wet the bed he would be forced to sit on the wet spot for hours and then be beaten. Peter would burn his genitals with a cigarette lighter. He would have to spend the entire next night standing in the bathroom."
