Tea bent down and kissed Todd's cheek. "Don't be afraid. I'm going to Chicago. I won't let them hurt you," she whispered to him. She then silently got her purse and left.

*****

Sam stayed with Todd, allowing Viki a chance to go home for the night. Sam was watching Todd sleep and thinking about the Dumpster incident. He remembered how Todd had sworn he didn't do it. He remembered how frightened and trapped Todd had looked when the principal insisted he did. He told Todd that he was seen setting it on fire. Sam wondered what that must have been like for Todd, not having any memory of it, and yet having someone insist that he was seen doing it. "Why didn't I catch on then?" Sam thought to himself.

Sam noticed that Todd was moaning in his sleep. Todd suddenly pulled his thumb from his mouth and jumped up as soon as he realized he was on his stomach. He did not seem to be awake though.

Todd lay down again and turned on his side. He brought his knees to his head and continued to sleep fitfully. Later, as the Connie was checking his vital signs, he suddenly turned over on his stomach and once again put his right thumb in his mouth. Having seen in his chart that the Baby was out when Susannah left for the night, Connie didn't seem too concerned over this.

Sam did not sleep. He was watching Todd closely. The Baby was out for about forty-five minutes when once again Todd abruptly pulled his thumb from his mouth and turned on his side, his knees drawn and his head tucked. This went on for most of the night. It seemed that he was spontaneously switching all through the night. Even in sleep, when Todd or an alter other than the Baby was present and felt themselves on their stomach they would panic and assume a cocoon position. Sam had never seen this happen to Todd before. He was really getting anxious.

Connie told him she would call Susannah if he wanted, but he didn't want to disturb her in the middle of the night. Todd seemed to be all right, except for that. Finally around four in the morning Todd assumed a more normal sleeping position on his side. Whatever was going on with him seemed to have stopped, for now. Sam finally allowed himself to fall asleep in the lounge chair next to Todd's bed.

Sam was still sleeping when Viki came back at nine. He hadn't even heard Terry come in to take a reading of Todd's vital signs. Terry had been very careful not to disturb either Todd or Sam. Viki was relieved to see Todd sleeping in a normal position and assumed that the Baby's appearance was brief this time.

Sam was the first to stir. Viki held a cup of steaming, hot coffee under his nose. He gratefully took it. She bent down and kissed him.

"I don't know what smells better? You or the coffee?" Sam said, smiling at her.

Smiling back Viki stroked Sam's hair and asked. "Did you have a chance to go to the lounge?"

"No, Todd had kind of a rough night, I think?"

"You think, I don't understand?"

Sam told her about the apparent switching. Before Viki had a chance to comment they heard Todd call out for them.

"We're right here, Todd," Viki called back to him and took his hand.

Todd sat up and out of nowhere asked, "Viki, is my dad dead?"

Todd startled them with his question. "Todd, your father has been dead for years. Sweetheart, don't you remember that?" Viki was worried because he seemed more confused than usual.

"He was here," Todd whispered. They heard fear in his eyes and voice.

Sam and Viki looked at each other. "You just had a bad dream, Boomer. Your dad wasn't here."

"He was! Sam he was here!" Todd insisted. He was starting to tremble.

"Todd, I was here with you all night. I swear to you. Your dad was not here. He's dead Boomer. He can't ever hurt you again."

"I'm cold," Todd whimpered. He lay down on his side and reached for the blankets. Viki helped him. "It's always so cold and dark. I don't wanna be here anymore."

Sam and Viki knew that Todd still saw, only death, as an escape from his torment.

Susannah came in. She had just read Todd's chart and was concerned over the switching he had done in his sleep. She wanted Todd to stay out for his first meeting with Ryan Morgan. Seeing the curled up, shivering, figure in the bed, Susannah knew it was Todd who was out.

"Good Morning, Todd," Susannah called out quietly, as not to startle him.

Todd didn't respond. Susannah put her hand on his shoulder and asked, "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm cold. I'm so cold."

Susannah could hear Todd's teeth chatter as he said that.

"Would you like some hot cocoa?" Susannah offered. Todd shook his head no.

Susannah noticed that Todd still had on the sweats he wore yesterday.

"Todd I want you to get up and put on fresh clothes. Frank will be in soon to help you.

"No! I want to stay here," Todd refused and pulled the blankets up to his chin.

"Todd you have to get up because I've arranged for you to start working with a man named Ryan Morgan. He specialized in helping people who have lost their vision. He will help you learn to walk without having to be afraid of tripping or bunking into something. He will show you how to eat and . . ."

"No! I don't want any blind lessons." Todd was adamant.

"Todd, don't you want to learn how to do those things for yourself again?" Susannah asked gently.

"Leave me alone." Todd mumbled.

"Boomer, it's really important that you go for your session with this therapist.

"Leave me alone." Todd repeated.

"Todd," Susannah began.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Todd screamed and then whispered to himself, "I don't want to be here anymore. I'm cold. I hate it here. I don't want to be here."

Frank came in at this point.

"Todd is having problems this morning. He doesn't feel like getting out of bed yet," Susannah apprised Frank of the situation in a voice loud enough for Todd to hear.

Frank looked at Susannah. She nodded to him. Frank approached Todd slowly. He put his hand on Todd's shoulder and said, "Come on Todd, you'll feel a lot better once you've cleaned up. Let me help you," Frank pulled down the blanket that was covering Todd.

"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! VIKI! VIKI!" Todd shrieked.

Viki rushed to him and held him. "I'm here, sweetheart. It's all right. Frank was just trying to help you."

"Make him go away," Todd begged as tears slid down his cheeks.

Susannah asked Frank to wait outside.

Sam started rubbing Todd's back and trying to coax him, "Come on Boomer, just give this therapy a try. Viki and I will be right there with you. No one will hurt you."

"Please don't make me. It's cold out there. It's so dark," Todd pleaded.

"Todd, Ryan will help you to cope with the dark," Susannah reasoned with him.

"Why won't you just leave me alone?" Todd couldn't understand why they wanted to torture him so.

"How about if Ryan comes to your room? You won't have to get dressed or washed before you see him. You won't even have to leave this room," Susannah suggested.

"I'm blind he can't help me."

"He can help you learn how to do things for yourself, even if you can't see," Susannah explained.

Todd sighed and asked, "What would he do to me?"

"He won't do anything to you. He will just teach you how to do the things you usually did. He will teach you how to do them safely," Susannah continued to explain.

"What if I can't learn?"

"Todd, there's no reason to think that. But even if you have trouble doing what Ryan asks, no one will get angry with you or be disappointed in you. You can take as long as you need to learn," Susannah told him gently.

"My dad will be angry. He'll think I'm stupid again."

They all looked at each other. "Todd, your dad is dead. He's not here," Susannah reminded him.

Todd looked confused. "He was here."

"No, Boomer, remember? I told you. You probably just dreamt he was here."

"No . . . no. He was here I felt . . . I . . . I'm cold. It's so cold. Make it warmer. Sam please make him let me back in the house. I'm so cold."

Susannah wondered if Peter used to lock him out of the house as punishment. "Todd, who's keeping you out of the house?"

He gave no response.

"Is it the house you grew up in. Did someone lock you out in the cold and keep you from coming inside where it was warm?" Susannah tried again.

"It's cold. Please let me get warm," Todd begged.

"Todd it's all right you can tell us. Did someone force you to stay out in the cold?" Susannah persisted.

"Leave me alone! You won't leave me alone. They won't leave me alone. He won't leave me alone. Why can't it be quiet?"

Susannah saw he was getting more and more agitated. "All right Todd. I won't ask you any more questions right now. I promise. Todd, I want you to get out of bed. I want you to participate in your session with Ryan. So come on now, let me help you to the chair." Susannah took his arm.

Todd pulled it away from her. He reached for the blankets that Frank had pulled down.

"Todd, come on," Susannah said. She pulled the blankets out of his reach. "I want you to get out of bed now."

"You said I didn't have to!" Todd cried out. He started to panic.

"No, I said you didn't have to get washed and changed. You have to be out of bed for your session and you need to be out of bed anyway. Todd if you stay in bed your lungs can't function properly and you could get pneumonia again. Your muscles and the rest of your body will grow weak. So come on now, let's go. I'll help you," Susannah said and took his arm again.

Susannah knew it was pointless to have him forced out of bed. If he resisted to the point of a restraint or sedation, and she could see that this was heading in that direction, he would not be able to have the session with Ryan or spend time out of bed anyway. Sometimes Todd placed Susannah and the rest of the staff in a lose/lose situation.

"NO! Get away from me. NO! VIKI!" Todd screamed and pulled his arm away from Susannah. He curled up on his side and pulled his knees to his chest and started rocking. He kept whispering Viki's name.

Viki came over and started rubbing his back. "I'm here Todd. I'm here baby. Shhhh, it's all right. I'm right here."

"Todd went away," they heard Tom's voice say, as he straightened out his legs and sat up. "Can I go look at the bird book?"

Sam and Viki looked at Susannah. They could see the frustration written on her face. Seeing the direction their eyes were turned in, Tom looked Susannah's way too. Tears formed in his eyes and trickled down his cheeks.

"What's the matter Boomer, why are you crying?" Sam asked, being the first to notice that Tom was crying.

"Doctor Hanen's mad at me. She doesn't like me anymore." Tom's tears were now falling at a faster rate.

Susannah walked over to the bed and hugged him. "Oh honey, why would you think that?"

"You don't like that I'm here. I didn't make Todd's head hurt. I didn't try to come out. Todd came inside I got pushed out." Tom emphasized the word pushed.

"Tom I promise, I am not mad at you," Susannah assured him. She realized how sensitive to her slightest expression some of them were. She then continued. "I am very happy to see you. I'm always happy to see you."

Susannah sat down on the bed, next to Tom. She would try her best to explain. "Tom, the reason I was upset was because Todd left, not because you came out. Honey, do you know that right now Todd can't see?"

Tom nodded and confirmed, "Todd gets real scared of the dark."

"That's right. Todd is supposed to meet with a man named Ryan Morgan. He's a therapist who can help Todd learn to handle his loss of vision. Then he won't be so scared. I wanted Todd to stay out so he could be here when this man comes. That was why I looked upset. I am always happy to see you," Susannah smiled at him and gently stroked his cheek.

Tom hugged her and rested his head on her shoulder and confessed, "I'm glad you're not mad at me. I don't like it when anyone is mad at me."

He then sat up straight and said, "I'm hungry, can I have spaghetti and chocolate milk?" Susannah was thrilled that not only was he hungry but he acutely asked for something to eat. She promised him she would get him just what he asked for. The kitchen staff was getting used to her asking for certain dishes out of the blue and they had started to keep some on hand.

"Hey Boomer, would you like to get washed up and change your clothes now?"

"Okay," Tom replied.

"I'll get Frank," Susannah said and left to order Tom's spaghetti breakfast.

After Tom finished his breakfast he and Sam looked at the book Blair had brought. Viki walked over to Susannah's office. She knew that Ryan Morgan was expected and she wanted to meet him.

Ryan was already sitting next to Susannah's desk when Viki knocked on Susannah's door.

"Come in," Viki heard Susannah call out.

"Viki, I'd like you to meet Ryan Morgan. Ryan, this is Todd's sister, Viki Carpenter."

Holding out his hand, Ryan, a large, husky man in his mid-forties with sandy hair and gentle blue eyes greeted Viki. "Hi, I'm very happy to meet you. Susannah has told me a lot about Todd and how much you love him."

Viki took his hand. "Welcome to Llanview Hospital. I'm happy to meet you too. I'm afraid Todd might not feel that way though."

"Susannah was just filling me in on that."

"Yes, I was just explaining to Ryan that just getting and keeping Todd out will be difficult."

"You do know that my brother's blindness is psychological, there is nothing physically wrong with his eyes or brain?" Viki asked.

"Yes, Susannah has filled me in on that too."

"Yes, of course she has, I'm sorry." Viki said, slightly embarrassed.

"That's okay, it's always best to make sure what hospital personnel knows and doesn't know about a patient. Susannah told me that one of Todd's alters, a seven year old, is out now. I know that Todd does not want to participate in therapy," Ryan admitted.

"What I didn't have a chance to tell you is that I am going to try to get Todd back out now, with hypnosis if necessary," Susannah informed him.

"Ryan, Todd is very fragile now. I'm sure Susannah told you that," Viki stated anxiously.

"Mrs. Carpenter . . ."

"Please, call me Viki," she interrupted him.

"Viki, Susannah told me that I have to be very careful with Todd. I won't push him any more than he can handle," Ryan assured her.

"Well, why don't we go to Todd's room. At the very least you can get to meet Sam and Tom," Susannah suggested.

Secrets 44, Page 2