Todd stared straight ahead. The things Blair told him about Téa and Kevin and seeing them holding each other through his window played in his mind over and over again. Todd hated himself for not being happy that he finally got Téa to leave him. In between, thoughts of Jessica pelted his mind. He wondered if Susannah could call the hospital in Arizona and find out how she and Clint were doing.

“Can I go to Doctor Hanen’s office? I want to ask her something?” Todd asked Frank, who was back in the dayroom with him.

Susannah left orders that Todd should be brought to her office, or she should be called if he wanted her to come to him, the moment he felt like talking.

“Sure, buddy,” Frank agreed. “Come on. I’ll take you there.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Sam asked.

“No. You can stay here or go wherever it is you go. I’m okay.”

Todd’s tone sounded cold to Sam. He wondered if Todd was angry with him. Sam also wondered if Blair lied to him about Todd being happy at the thought of living with him at the penthouse. Sam didn’t know whom to believe or trust anymore.

What Sam had no way of knowing was that Todd was angry with him, unconsciously. In Todd’s mind, Sam was once again giving up on him. He was once again sending him back to be hurt. Todd’s unconscious mind believed that, somehow, Sam should know what he planned once he got to the penthouse and stop him. As always, Todd was at war with himself. He desperately wanted to die and end his suffering and the suffering and pain he believed he would cause those he love. He also desperately wanted to be saved.

*****

As Frank and Todd rounded the corner, they saw Kevin standing at the nurses station talking to Janet.

Todd’s eyes burned with rage. With quickness that surpassed Frank’s, Todd got away from him. He lunged at Kevin and pinned him up against the wall.

Kevin was too shocked by Todd’s strength and fury to react immediately. Todd had also nearly knocked the wind out of him.

With his forearm under Kevin’s chin, Todd pressed Kevin’s head against the wall.

Kevin and Todd stared into each other’s eyes. Kevin saw the rage that was driving Todd emanate from his stare.

“You bastard.” Todd’s voice came from deep in his throat. It was low and more frightening than if he’d been shouting. “You ever touch her again, I’ll kill you.”

Frank, Jeff and Steve pulled Todd off Kevin.

It had only been a few seconds before they got to Todd. Yet it had been enough time for Kevin to get a glimpse of the Todd he always knew. Kevin had no doubt that this was Todd, the same Todd who could be truly dangerous to anyone who crossed him.

Kevin rubbed his aching neck. “Man! You are fucking crazy! What the hell is wrong with you!”

Todd didn’t fight the three men who held him. He stood still and glared at Kevin. “You don’t touch her. Do you hear me Kevin? You don’t touch her.”

“Touch who? What the hell are you talking about?” Kevin tried to stay calm. His heart was pounding in his chest.

Sam came running out of the dayroom when he heard the commotion. “Let go of him,” Sam ordered.

As soon as she heard there was a problem, Susannah ran from her office too. “You need to leave the area Sam,” Susannah instructed.

“Todd, are you okay?” Sam called. He wasn’t sure if Todd was trying to harm himself or not.

Susannah walked up to Todd. “We want to let you go. Are you in control?”

Todd glared at Kevin. “Yes,” he said quietly. His eyes never left Kevin’s.

“Todd. I don’t know what your problem is.” Kevin tried to speak calmly. “Tell me and we can talk about it.”

“You’re my problem, lover boy. How many do you need? You always did like them by twos, didn’t you? Didn’t you start fucking Cassie while you were still fucking Téa? And we know you had to have Nurse Barbie on the side while you were fucking Cassie. So now Cassie’s going back to Andrew and you only have Rachel to fuck.” Todd snickered. “I guess there’s an opening and you knew just how to fill it.”

Kevin got it now. He put what Todd was saying together with the things Téa told him. He understood why Todd was furious with him.

“I’m not having and affair with Téa,” Kevin said bluntly. “If Blair told you I was, she’s a liar.”

Knowing Blair, Todd would have believed Kevin if he hadn’t seen what he saw through the window. “Yeah,” Todd nodded. “Most of the time Blair’s a liar. But she’s not the only liar in this town, is she? Maybe it’s something in the water . . . huh Kevie? You think it’s the water or something in the air? Or . . . could it be that you think I’m too stupid and too crazy to recognize a lie when I hear one?”

“Todd I’m not lying to you and neither is Téa. My God! She loves you. Don’t give me that stupid and crazy routine of yours. Even you have to be able to tell how much Téa loves you. It killed her to hear you say those things to her.”

Todd smiled. “She wasted no time running to you, did she?”

“I saw her run out of the hospital as I was arriving. I came here to meet Rachel and to visit you. I saw Téa was hysterical. I thought something had happened to you.”

“Your bad luck that it didn’t,” Todd mumbled. He didn’t know what to believe.

“No Todd. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Being afraid of losing one child is all Mom can take at the moment.”

Todd felt shame wash over him. When he saw Kevin, his fury over Téa had pushed what happened to Jessica out of his mind.

“Todd,” Saber whispered. “If you love your wife, you’d let him have her. You’d want her to be safe. She’ll only be safe if she’s away from you.”

Todd looked at Kevin. The thought of Kevin touching Téa still made Todd want to kill him.

“Noooo,” Todd and everyone in the area heard a small voice cry out. “Don hurt Kebin. Don hurt Kebin. He’s my bethtetht fwiend. I wove Kebin.”

Todd felt small hands tugging at his pant leg. He turned and saw a very small boy looking up at him. The boy’s large brown eyes were filled with tears.

“Pwease don hurt Kebin,” Timmy begged.

“Oh God,” Todd cried out. He saw himself tugging at his father, begging him not to hurt his mother. “Ohhhh,” Todd moaned as he saw and felt his father push him away so hard his little body hit the wall. Todd would die before he would hurt this child that way. His eyes glazed over as he turned back and stared at Kevin. Todd didn’t want to feel the hatred for Kevin that he was feeling. He didn’t want to frighten this child. Most of all, he didn’t want to take away Téa’s chance for safety and happiness. Todd didn’t know how to make his rage go away. He panicked. His eyes closed and his head drooped for a split second.

“Kebin! Kebin!” Timmy called out. He ran to Kevin and threw his arms around him. “I didn’t wan Todd to hurt you. He wath weal mad at you.”

Kevin felt Timmy trembling. He hugged him tightly. “I know. It’s okay. Shhhh. Don’t be afraid. Todd was very upset. He didn’t hurt me. It’s all right.

“I wove you Kebin. I don wan nobowy to hurt you.”

“They won’t. Todd didn’t mean it. He’s just upset. Everything’s all right now,” Kevin assured Timmy.

“Are you thtill my bethtetht fwiend?”

“You bet I am buddy. I’ve missed you so much.” Kevin gave Timmy a gently squeeze.

Kevin was surprised that he was able to so completely separate the anger and fear Todd made him feel from the total love he felt for Timmy the second Todd switched. As soon as Kevin was with Timmy, his feelings switched back into protective parental mode. Much to his relief, Kevin knew he still adored this little boy with all his heart.

“I mithed you too. You thtay wid me and we pway.”

Kevin glanced in Susannah’s direction. He knew he would have to tell Timmy that he was going away for a while.

Sam walked over to where Timmy and Kevin stood. Timmy was still holding on to Kevin.

“Hi pal. Come give Daddy a hug. I missed you too.” Sam knew, despite his feelings toward Kevin, Timmy would be devastated when Kevin told him he had to leave.

Timmy looked frightened. He held Kevin tightly. “Will Todd come back and hurt you?”

Susannah approached Timmy. “Hi, sweetie. I don’t think Todd wanted to hurt Kevin or even be angry with him and that’s why he went inside.”

Tears sprang to Kevin’s eyes when he realized that was most likely exactly what happened. Also, he did understand why Todd would be so angry with him. Kevin knew how he would feel if he thought someone he had begun to trust was sleeping with a woman he loved.

“You thure Todd won hurt you?” Timmy asked anxiously. He stared into Kevin’s eyes.

“I’m sure, buddy. I’m very sure,” Kevin promised.

Timmy turned to Sam and hugged him. “Daddy, I wath thcared that Todd wath gonna hurt Kebin.”

“Todd was just angry.” Sam kissed Timmy’s head and glared at Kevin. “He has a lot to be angry about.”

Timmy let go of Sam and looked around. His eyes filled with fear. “Where’th Mommy? Where’th Tee?”

Both Sam and Kevin exchanged anxious looks with Susannah. They knew what Timmy’s reaction was going to be.

Susannah took Timmy’s hand. “Sweetie, come into the dayroom with me. Sam and Kevin will come too. We need to talk to you.”

“Where’th Mommy and Tee?” Timmy asked again. Tears rolled down his cheeks. “I wan Mommy and Tee!”

Sam and Kevin looked helplessly at Susannah. They didn’t know what to say.

“They’re not here right now,” Susannah explained calmly.

“Dhey go way foweber,” Timmy cried out. He pulled away from Susannah and looked around frantically. He ran down the hall to Todd’s room. “Mommy! Tee! Mommy! Mommy! Tee! Don go way! Mommy! Tee! I be good boy. Don go way!”

“Oh God,” Kevin said softly.

“Call Téa on her cell phone and explain the situation to her,” Susannah told Janet.

“Should I call Viki too?” Janet asked.

“No!” Kevin answered before Susannah had a chance to.

“Let Viki come and explain to him herself that she has to go away,” Sam ordered.

“No,” Kevin insisted. “Mom’s already holding on by a thread. It’s killing her to leave Todd. She feels as if she’s being torn in half. If she hears Timmy carrying on like this she’ll go out of her mind with worry. For God’s sake, her daughter and the man she once loved and was married to might be dying.” Kevin’s voice broke with emotion. “Don’t add the burden of knowing Timmy is out.” Kevin understood. He knew he’d have to tell Timmy he was leaving him. Kevin felt as if his heart were being ripped out.

Sam shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”

“Sam,” Kevin began. “Put yourself in Mom’s place. If one of your kids was critically injured and you had to hear Timmy’s cries in your head the whole time you were away from him and you knew what your leaving would do to him, how would you feel?”

Sam’s thought for a few more seconds. His eyes welled with tears. “Don’t tell Viki. Let her be.”

Kevin moved closer to Sam. “Thank you.”

Sam looked angrily at Kevin. “I’m not doing this for you!” Sam rushed off to Todd’s room.

Timmy was now checking out the bathroom, still looking and crying out for Viki and Téa.

Frank, Jeff, Terry and Steve stood close.

“Timmy, Mommy and Téa aren’t here right now. They didn’t leave forever. I promise you,” Terry tried gently.

When he saw they weren’t there, Timmy rushed back out of the bathroom. His face was red and blotchy. He was choking on his sobs. He tried to get back to the hallway when Kevin and Sam came into Todd’s room.

Sam pulled Timmy into his arms.

Timmy immediately tried to squirm away. “Where’th Mommy? Mommy. Mommy. Where’th Tee? Teeeeeee! Dhey go way. Dhey go way.”

“Sam, let me have him,” Kevin requested. “Please!” he added when Sam was reluctant to let go of Timmy.

Kevin took Timmy into his arms. “Timmy, I need you to listen to me,” Kevin said softly.

“Mommy and Tee go way foweber,” Timmy cried.

Kevin pulled back. He wiped the tears from Timmy’s face with his hands. “Mommy and Téa did not go away forever. I promise.” Kevin took Timmy’s hand and wrapped his pinky around Timmy’s. “Pinky promise.”

Timmy’s chest heaved as he calmed down slightly. “Where’th Mommy and Tee?”

Kevin took Timmy’s hand. “Come sit down with me.”

“I wan Mommy and Tee,” Timmy wailed.

Janet walked into the room. “Timmy, Téa is on her way. She should be here in less than half an hour. That’s very soon.”

Kevin and Susannah breathed a sigh of relief. Sam wasn’t sure he wanted Téa around Todd or any of the alters, especially one as vulnerable as Timmy

“Wheth’th Mthter Wabbit?” Timmy whimpered.

Frank went to the toy box and unlocked it. He quickly found Mr. Rabbit and handed him to Timmy. He knew that was the toy Timmy always wanted when he was feeling his most vulnerable and frightened. It was the first stuffed animal that Sam and Viki ever bought him and most likely the first one that any of the alters were allowed to have since Peter Manning ripped Bingo out of Baby Todd’s arms when he was two.

Timmy immediately clutched Mr. Rabbit to his chest and buried his face in him.

Kevin turned Timmy around so they were facing each other. “Timmy, do you remember Jessica and Clint?”

Timmy thought for a few seconds and then shook his head. He had no memory of either of them.

Kevin glanced at Susannah. He knew this would make it more difficult. Kevin began again. “Clint is my father and Jessica is my sister.”

“You pway with her?” Timmy asked. There was a tinge of jealousy in his tone.

“No. Jessica is a grown up . . . or almost a grown up.”

Timmy sucked on his first two fingers.

Kevin knew Timmy usually did that when he was anxious and frightened.

“Do your daddy hurt you?” Timmy pulled his fingers out of his mouth just long enough to ask this.

“No. My daddy is a very good man. He never hurt me. My daddy and my sister Jessica were in a car accident. They are both hurt very badly and they are both in a hospital very far away from here.”

“Dhey got boo-boos?” Timmy asked with wide eyes.

Kevin fought to hold back his tears. “Yes. They have very big boo-boos.”

“Mommy can kith dhe boo-boos and make dhem better.”

Kevin smiled. “Mommy’s going to try. Do you understand that Mommy Viki is also my mommy?”

Timmy nodded.

“Since Jessica is my sister. Mommy Viki is also Jessica’s mommy.”

Timmy looked confused. “Dethica’th not a wittle girl?”

“No. Jessica is almost nineteen years old.”

“Dhatth old!” Timmy exclaimed.

Kevin stroked Timmy’s cheek. “Yes. But even at nineteen when someone is hurt very badly they need their mom with them.”

“Is Dethica gonna come thtay wid Mommy and me and Daddy and you and Tee and Dota Hamen and Fwank and Tew . . .”

“No,” Kevin cut Timmy off gently. He took a deep breath and stroked Timmy’s head. “Jessica’s boo-boos are too bad for her to be moved right now. Mommy and I have to go to where she is, in a place called Arizona.”

“Is dhat by dhe pwaywoom?” Timmy asked innocently.

Kevin’s eyes closed in despair.

Susannah sat down on the bed, on Timmy’s other side. “Sweetie, Arizona is a place that’s far away from here. Mommy and Kevin have to go there for a little while to be with Jessica and Kevin’s daddy.”

“Noooo!” Timmy cried out. Tears splashed down his face again. He threw his arms around Kevin. “You and Mommy don go way. You and Mommy don go way.”

Kevin hugged Timmy tightly. “I love you. You’re my bestest friend in the whole world. I would never go away unless I had to. I’ll be back. Timmy, I promise you I’ll come back and so will Mommy. We’re not leaving forever. Pinkie promise. Daddy and Téa and Doctor Hanen and all the staff here are going to stay with you. I need you to stay here to take care of everyone for Mommy and me.”

“No,” Timmy continued to cry. He held onto Kevin for dear life. “Daddy and Tee and me and Dota Hamen go wid you. Ewewybody go wid you and Mommy to Awidona. Dota Hamen fix Dethica and your daddy. The awwys fix me weal good.”

Tears filled Susannah’s eyes. “Sweetie, Jessica and Clint need special doctors there. We can’t all go. I know you’re very frightened that Kevin and Mommy are not going to come back. We promise you that they are. Kevin and Mommy Viki would never leave you forever. Would you like to draw a picture for Kevin to take with him?”

“No!” Timmy angrily declared. “Kebin don wanna be my bestest fwiend no more. He wikes Dethica dhe betht.”

Kevin was using all his inner strength to keep from crying. “I love both you and Jessica very much. She’s hurt and I have to see her. Do you remember when I came to see you when you had a boo-boo?”

Timmy nodded. “Are you daking Adam wid you?” Timmy asked through trembling lips.

“No. Absolutely not. Adam is going to stay right here,” Kevin stated. An idea came to Kevin. “Show me how you can count to three,” Kevin requested.

Timmy held up one finger at a time as he counted . . . “one . . . dwo . . . dhree.” He looked at Kevin with his big brown eyes.

“That’s how many times a day I’m going to call you from Arizona.” Kevin gently moved each of Timmy’s fingers back and forth as he counted. “One . . . two . . . three times . . . every day.”

Timmy thought about it. “Mommy caw me dhis many times awtho?”

“It won’t be as easy for Mommy to get to a phone as it will be for Kevin, pal,” Sam told Timmy. He was relieved to see that Timmy was calming down.

“That’s right Timmy.” Kevin immediately picked up on Sam’s statement. “But I know that Mommy will tell me to say hello to you every single time and tell me to tell you how much she loves you and misses you. Then one day soon we’ll both tell you that we’re coming back home to you.”

Everyone looked toward the door when Téa came into the room.

Timmy ran to her and threw his arms around her. “Tee. Tee. Kebin and Mommy are going far away to Awidona widout me.”

Téa kissed Timmy’s forehead. “I know Angelito. I heard. Daddy and I are going to be right here with you and Kevin and Mommy will come back before you know it.”

“Kebin thaid pinkie pwomithe he come back.”

“There you go. You know Kevin never breaks a pinkie promise to you,” Téa reminded him.

“Dethica’s Kebin’s thithter. The got big boo-boos and Cwint Kebin’s daddy and he got big boo-boos.”

Téa glanced at Kevin. Her eyes were filled with compassion. “I know. They were hurt very badly and that’s why Mommy and Kevin have to be there with them.”

Kevin looked at his watch. He then looked out the window. The fog seemed to be lifting. Kevin knew he had to get back to Llanfair and he and Viki had to leave for the airport soon. He also wanted to call the hospital in Arizona. He was terrified that they might already be too late.

Kevin stood up and walked over to Téa and Timmy. “Timmy, I have to leave soon. Would you like to draw with me or play a game with me before I go?”

“Nooooo,” Timmy cried out again. He wrapped his arms around Kevin and clung to him tightly. “You thtay wid me more.”

“Angelito,” Téa tried to gently pull Timmy away from Kevin. “I’ve missed you so much. After Kevin leaves will you play with me or do a puzzle with me? We can read a book. I know, why don’t we read that bird book you love.”

“Tee, you tell Daddy and Dota Hamen and ewewybody that we go wid Kebin and Mommy.”

Téa held her hand out to Timmy. “Let’s go sit over there.” Téa pointed to a place near the corner of the room where Timmy liked to play and do puzzles. Timmy took her hand. They both sat on the floor when they got to Timmy’s special spot. Téa put her arm around Timmy. He rested his head on her shoulder.

“Angelito, I promise you too. Kevin and Mommy are going to come back to you. I’ve known your mommy and Kevin for a long time and I know they would never break a promise to you. They need to be with Jessica and Clint now in the hospital in Arizona. Kevin and Mommy need you to help them by staying here with the rest of us. We can’t all go and your daddy and Doctor Hanen and all the staff here and I would be so sad if you went to Arizona too and we couldn’t be with you.”

Timmy looked up at Téa with huge sad eyes. “You’d mith me?”

Téa smiled. She held Timmy close to her and kissed his forehead. “I’d miss you so much my heart would break.”

“No Tee!” Timmy got up on his knees and threw his arms around Téa. He rested his head on her shoulder again. “I don wan your heart to get a boo-boo. I thtay wid you.”

Téa gently rubbed Timmy’s back. “Thank you Angelito.”

Kevin knelt down in back of Téa so he could see Timmy’s face. “Timmy, I’m so proud of you. You are the best bestest friend in the whole world. I’m going to tell Mommy what a brave boy you are. I know she will be so proud of you too. Will you do something for me?”

Timmy lifted his head from Téa’s shoulder and nodded.

“Will you help me make a get well card to take to Jessica?”

Timmy nodded again, eagerly.

“Thank you,” Kevin said lovingly. “You draw so much better than I do. Jessica will be happy when she sees that you helped make the card just for her.”

“The will?” Timmy looked puzzled. “Dethica wike me?”

“She loves you very much. I know you don’t remember her. Jessica knows Todd and she loves him very much. She loves you too because you live inside of Todd and because Mommy and I have told Jessica what a wonderful, smart and special little boy you are. She would love to come here and meet you someday.” Kevin prayed that Jessica would get to do that.

“You know something else,” Téa pointed out. “Jessica used to take care of Moose for Todd. She loved Moose very much.”

“Dethica woved Moothe!” Timmy’s eyes were wide with excitement.

“Yes she did,” Téa confirmed. “So you see, you and Jessica already have something in common.”

Timmy stood up. He walked over to his toy box and plopped down on his knees again, in front of it. He rummaged around until he found what he was looking for. He stood up and walked back to where Kevin sat on the floor.

“You give dhis to Dethica,” Timmy held Moose, his beloved stuffed parrot, in his hand.

“You want to give Moose to Jessica?” Kevin wanted to be sure. He knew how much Timmy loved the stuffed toy.

“Moothe make me feel gooder too, wike Mthter Wabbit. He make Dethica feel gooder too. Weal Moothe make Todd feel gooder when he talk to him and pet him. Me too. I wove weal Moothe and Dethica wove weal Moothe, jutht like Todd.” Timmy kissed his toy on the beak. “Moothe, you be good bird. I mith you. You help make Dethica feel gooder. I thtill wove you.”

Kevin hugged Timmy tightly. He kissed the top of his head. “You are such a good, sweet, generous boy. I’m so proud of you. Jessica will be very happy to have this Moose with her. When I tell her how much you love him and yet you still gave him to her, it will mean everything to her like it does to me. Every time I see Moose I will think of you and I’ll tell Moose that very soon we’re going to get back to Timmy because we love him very, very much.”

Timmy looked up at Kevin with eyes that were still filled with sadness and fear. “You and Mommy weally come back?”

Kevin stroked Timmy’s head. “Oh, yes. We would be the saddest people in the whole world if we stayed away from you forever. Now let’s make that get well card. Okay?”

Timmy nodded.

“The art room is clear and Laura already put out what you’ll need. It’s all set up and just waiting for you to get there,” Terry informed Timmy and Kevin. She knew Kevin didn’t have much time and on the chance that Timmy calmed down enough, Terry wanted everything to be ready, so she called the art room to make sure it was all right for them to use it and then explained the situation to Laura, who got everything ready.

“Tee and Daddy and Dota Hamen and Fwank come too?” Timmy pleaded, more than asked.

Susannah nodded to those around her. Timmy needed to have his way this time. He was still traumatized by the realization that Viki and Kevin were going to leave him.

Timmy held Kevin’s hand tightly all the way to the art room. Everyone else walked behind them.

“He seems to be handling it all right for now,” Téa whispered to Sam.

Sam turned to Téa. His stare was as cold as ice. “I don’t want you near him when I’m not around,” Sam whispered back, in a tone that was as cold as his stare.

He walked ahead, leaving Téa standing there, stunned. Téa quickly pulled herself together and continued on the to the art room. She knew she couldn’t discuss this with Sam while Timmy was around. She wondered if Blair or Todd had said something to Sam to make him distrust her. Téa realized that with Sam’s current state of mind, it would not take much to push him over the edge. Téa felt sick to her stomach when the realization hit her. With Viki in Arizona, Sam would be Todd’s only legal guardian. For the first time since Todd had been hospitalized, Téa cursed herself for not becoming his guardian herself. Téa knew Viki wanted Sam to be Todd’s guardian and she did not want to go behind her back when Viki could not be there to stand up for what she wanted. Still, Téa knew if it came to a matter of Todd’s safety, she’d do whatever she had to do, no matter what Todd told her earlier.

*****

“You tell me what Dethica wooks wike?” Timmy requested.

“She’s very pretty,” Kevin’s eyes filled up with tears. He couldn’t continue.

Téa quickly took over. “She has blonde hair and very pretty blue eyes. Angelito, would you like me to help you pick out a blue crayon that matches the color of Jessica’s eyes?” Téa hoped to distract Timmy until Kevin could collect himself.

Timmy nodded. Téa tested several shades of blue until she found the one that reminded her of Jessica’s eyes. “There you go,” she handed it to Timmy. Téa rubbed Kevin’s back. “You okay?” she whispered. Téa didn’t see Sam looking daggers at her.

Kevin nodded. He continued to silently watch Timmy draw. “Wow!” Kevin exclaimed when Timmy held up the picture. “That does look like Jessica”

Timmy asked what Clint looked like and then proceeded to draw him. He drew Kevin and Viki too. When he was finished he held up the card again. “Dhis Dethica happy wid you and Mommy and her daddy when the all fixthd up.”

Kevin hugged Timmy. “Jessie will love this, buddy. Mommy will too.” Kevin hugged Timmy again and kissed his head. “That’s from Mommy. I know she will be as proud of you as I am when she sees this.”

For the first time since Kevin got there, Timmy managed a small smile. “You pway dhe cars widh me before you go to Awidona?”

Kevin looked at his watch.

“I called the airport about ten minutes ago,” Frank spoke up. “The fog is still too heavy. Nothing’s leaving or landing. They said it will be at least another couple of hours.”

“Thank you,” Kevin called out gratefully. A part of him cursed the fog because he wanted to get to Arizona, another part couldn’t bear to tear himself away from Timmy. Kevin understood just how his mother felt.

Frank didn’t mention that Nancy told him Viki called. She wanted to know how Todd was doing and asked if she should come back to the hospital as long as there was a delay. Honoring Kevin’s request, and because it was true at that moment, Nancy only told her that everything was fine and there was no need for her to come all the way back to the hospital.

“Come on buddy. Let’s get to those cars,” Kevin said as he took Timmy by the hand.

*****

When they got to the playroom, Timmy asked, “Tee, Daddy, you wan pway too?”

“I’d love to,” Téa responded.

“Daddy’ll watch. Okay pal?” Sam felt physically exhausted. On top of that he did not trust himself to participate in something with Kevin and Téa. He wished Timmy’s need for them wasn’t so great. “Besides, don’t you want to have a big audience, like real race car drivers have?” Sam added when he saw Timmy seemed disappointed.

Timmy thought about it for a moment. “Kebin, Daddy, Dota Hamen, Fwank and Tewwy be dhe awience.”

“Well then we’d better put on a good show for them and really make those cars fly,” Kevin kidded.

As they had done before, Kevin sat on the floor and Timmy sat cross-legged in front of him so Kevin could manipulate Timmy’s fingers to work the remotes. Téa sat next to them.

“Gibe Mthter Wabbit wide,” Timmy asked excitedly. He remembered that Kevin did that last time.

Kevin propped the stuffed rabbit on one of the cars and helped Timmy manipulate the remote so the toy went riding off.

Timmy giggled in delight. “Mthter Wabbit wide dhe car! Mthter Wabbit wide dhe car,” Timmy called out happily.

His “audience” smiled and applauded. Even, Sam managed a smile in response to Timmy’s happiness.

“Again Kebin,” Timmy requested.

Kevin and Téa noticed that Timmy’s speech didn’t sound right, even for Timmy. They also noticed that his jaw looked to be at an odd angle. His teeth seemed to be mashing together.

Before they had a chance to call to Susannah, Timmy dropped the remote and cried out in pain. He grabbed his jaw and mouth and then his neck. Timmy’s head was cocked at an odd angle to the side.

Kevin cradled Timmy in his arms. “What’s happening to him?” Kevin called out frantically.

“It hurrrrrrts,” Timmy managed to get out. His upper and lower teeth were tightly clenched together.

“Oh my God,” Téa cried. Everything from Timmy’s neck up seemed to be at some odd and painful looking angle.

“Mooooommyyyyyy,” Timmy managed to cry.

Susannah, Frank and Terry rushed over, as did Sam.

“GET AWAY FROM HIM! WHAT DID YOU TWO DO TO HIM?” Sam screamed.

“Sam you need to stand out of the way,” Susannah ordered.

“What did you do to him?” Sam asked quietly this time. His heart was pounding. He didn’t know if he should let them near Timmy to help him or try to keep them away. Since Sam had no idea what to do for Timmy, he moved away.

Susannah felt Timmy’s jaw and neck.

“Mooooommmmy,” Timmy cried out again. This time it was difficult to understand him. He couldn’t open his jaw enough to get the word out.

“Fifty milligrams Benadryl IM,” Susannah ordered. “Timmy, we’re going to make it stop hurting. I know you’re very frightened. You’re having a reaction to a medicine we gave Todd. It’s called an acute dystonic reaction.” Susannah explained this for Timmy’s family more than for Timmy. She knew he was too frightened and in too much pain to understand even the simplest part of what she just said.

“The medication you gave him is doing this to him!” Sam bellowed angrily.

“Sam, it’s one of the extrapyramidal side effects to the neuroleptic,” Susannah reminded Sam. She had explained all about it when she discussed Todd’s medication. “It’s most likely being caused by the Haldol we gave Todd, not his regular medication.”

Téa stroked Timmy’s head and Susannah stroked his leg as Kevin held him tightly. Timmy was in too much pain and too frightened to struggle much.

Other staff came in with Terry.

“Kevin, hold him very tightly for just a minute,” Susannah instructed. She didn’t ask Kevin to hand Timmy over to the staff. She knew what little comfort Timmy was getting came from being in Kevin’s arms and having Téa nearby.

Susannah and the staff assisted in positioning Timmy and holding him still.

Sam was doing everything in his power to keep from trying to pull Timmy away from all of them. He felt like he was standing away from his body as he watched them work on Timmy. Sam thought about the money Asa placed in Susannah’s bank account. Then he thought of the look in Susannah’s eyes when she spoke of how much she cared for Todd and the alters. He couldn’t imagine her deliberately causing this kind of suffering to Timmy or to any of them. Yet, Blair’s information continued to eat its way through Sam’s mind, like a cancer. Now they were giving Timmy another drug. Every instinct in Sam screamed at him to knock that syringe out of Terry’s hand. He didn’t. What if he was wrong and it would ease Timmy’s pain? What choice did he have? He had no idea how to help Timmy. He couldn’t subject him to the trauma pulling him away from Téa and Kevin and dragging him to another hospital, all the while in such excruciating pain. So Sam did nothing. He watched as Terry administered the medication.

“Sweetie, you’re going to feel a little pinch in your thigh. The medicine will make it stop hurting,” Susannah said soothingly.

“Noooo. Noooo thot,” Timmy tried to cry out. He couldn’t because of his clenched jaw. They could still see the terror in his eyes and the tears that poured down his cheeks. He wasn’t able to struggle with all those hands holding him securely. Terry quickly injected the Benadryl.

Kevin continued to cradle Timmy and Téa continued to stroke and kiss his head until the medication began to ease the painful spasms.

Even though he stayed snuggled in Kevin’s arms, Timmy wasn’t making eye contact with Kevin, Téa or anyone. He dissociated into his own world. He sucked his thumb, made small whimpering sounds, and stared off into space. He looked dazed and confused, as if he couldn’t figure out what had happened to him or why those who love him allowed something to hurt him so badly.

Téa and Kevin’s hearts were breaking. The child they both loved so much had been suffering and there was nothing either of them could do but try to comfort him.

Sam stood frozen. He stared at what was happening to Timmy as if he were watching a movie. Blair’s words, “Doctor Hanen might believe that no one would ever suspect her and look into her private business or like the PI I hired suggested . . . there’s nothing criminal about taking money from Asa. Doctor Hanen and Asa might believe that it could be explained away if someone should ask,” played over and over again in Sam’s mind. He desperately wanted to get to Viki before she left. He knew he couldn’t add to her grief. Sam felt completely alone.

Finally Timmy spoke. “Kebin, Tee,” he whispered. Tears continued to stream down his face. “I thcared. It hurrrts.”

Susannah checked Timmy’s neck and jaw. There was a vast improvement. “Sweetie, does it hurt as much?”

“No,” Timmy confirmed. “I wan Mommy. I wan my mommy,” he whimpered.

Kevin and Téa were not able to hold their own tears back. They didn’t know if Timmy wanted Viki or Barbara Manning. Often when he was in sick or in pain he cried out for Barbara.

Téa saw that Kevin could not speak. “Angelito, I know you want Mommy, but she’s can’t come here right now. Will you let me hold you?”

“We need to get Timmy into bed,” Susannah said as she gently rubbed Timmy’s arm.

Timmy looked up at Téa. “I wan you way down widh me?” Timmy remembered the way his mother would sometimes lay next to him when he was hurt or sick, or when he couldn’t sleep, if she wasn’t too drunk, and if Peter wasn’t home.

“Of course I’ll lie down with you,” Téa immediately agreed.

“Kebin, I wan you to come widh me awtho.”

“Sure buddy. I’ll tuck you in.” Timmy looked so confused and fragile that Kevin prayed for the strength to keep it together until he left the hospital.

“Daddy,” Timmy called out weakly. “Daddy?” Timmy repeated when Sam didn’t answer him.

“I’m here, pal. I’m sorry,” Sam apologized. Sam felt dazed and frightened. He didn’t know what to do or which way to turn.

“Daddy, you come to my woom widh me.”

Sam reached down and stroked Timmy’s head. “Sure pal. Daddy’ll be right with you.”

*****

“There we go, snug as a bug in a rug,” Kevin said as he tucked the sheet and blanket around Timmy. It was one of the things Kevin remembered his birth father, Joe Riley, saying to him when he would tuck him in.

Timmy was snuggled up next to Téa. She held him incased in her arm. His head rested on her chest. Mr. Rabbit was clutched in Timmy’s arm. Kevin sat at the edge of the bed.

Timmy looked up at Kevin. “Ith Awidona far way?”

“Yeah, Timmy, it is,” Kevin admitted. “But you know you will never be more than this far away from me.” Kevin held his hands a few inches apart. Kevin then placed his hand on his heart. “You will be right here. No matter where I am you are always in my heart.”

“Kebin, you in my heart awso.” Timmy placed his hand on his own heart.

“You know what else?” Kevin asked softly.

Timmy shook his head.

“When you are well enough, I’ll take you to Arizona and you can learn to ride a horse. Do you think you’d like that?”

Timmy’s eyes widened with excitement. “A weal horthey?”

“Yep. In fact, you can even have your own horse and you can learn to feed him and take care of him as well as ride him.”

“Tee! Daddy! Kebin’s gonna gibe me my own horthey!” Timmy exclaimed happily.

“Wow!” Téa said. “I think you will be a great at horseback riding.”

“Daddy, Kebin thay he gibe me horthey,” Timmy repeated.

“That’s great pal. I know you’ll take very good care of him.” Sam was having trouble focusing. He did think to himself that he’d never allow Kevin to take Timmy anywhere, let alone someplace as far away as Arizona.

“Wandy wike doggy cookies. I feed horthey cookies to my horthey.” Timmy yawned. The Benadryl was making him sleepy.

Téa and Kevin smiled.

“He might even like an apple or two with those cookies,” Kevin said and kissed Timmy’s forehead.

Jeff came into the room. “Kevin, the fog is lifting. The airport said flights will be okayed for takeoff in about ninety minutes.”

Kevin took a deep breath and swallowed hard. He turned to Jeff. “Thanks.”

Kevin and Téa exchanged looks.

“Timmy,” Kevin began. “I have to leave now.”

Timmy’s chin and lower lip began to tremble. “You weally don go way foweber?”

Kevin pulled Timmy to him and held him tightly. “You’re my boy. I’d never, ever leave you forever.” A thought stung Kevin’s mind. He knew he could never in good conscience make that promise to his son Duke. Yet he also knew without a doubt that it was true in Timmy’s case. He still had no idea why this child . . . this part of Todd . . . got to him the way he did. Kevin kissed the top of Timmy’s head. “Will you take good care of Téa and Daddy and Doctor Hanen and everyone here for me?”

Timmy nodded. He held up three fingers. “You call me dhis many times ewewyday?”

“Pinkie promise. Not one day will go by when I don’t call you three times.” Kevin realized that promise could only extend to Timmy. If Todd came back, Kevin would be the last person he’d want to talk to.

Timmy held onto Kevin. “I wove you.”

Kevin pulled back a little so he could see Timmy’s sweet, young face. He brushed back the hair that had fallen in Timmy’s eyes. “I love you too. I love you more than I ever thought possible.” Kevin gently rested Timmy back into Téa’s arms. “Mommy is going to be so proud of you. I know she can hardly wait until she can come back to you.”

“You kith Mommy for me?”

“Yes. I’ll give Mommy a big kiss from you. It will make her very, very happy.”

Timmy stared into Kevin’s eyes. “I hope Dethica’th boo-boos get better and your daddy’s boo-boos get better.”

“I do too, buddy,” Kevin said softly. He stroked and kissed Timmy’s head one more time. He collected Moose from the chair and left. He could feel Timmy’s big, frightened eyes following him out the door. Kevin held it together while the staff told him Jessica and Clint would be in their prayers. He held it together while he was on the elevator and as he walked through the lobby. It was when Kevin was alone in his car that gut wrenching sobs shook his body.