*****

"Tea, open your eyes. It's Kevin. Come on! Can you hear me?" Kevin patted the cool washcloth over Tea's forehead and neck.

"Kevin?"

"Yeah, it's Kevin. Open your eyes, Tea."

Tea's eyelids fluttered open slowly. It took her a few seconds to focus on Kevin's face. "Kevin, what . . . where's Rachel? What happ . . .” Tea suddenly realized she had no clothes on. "Oh my God! What happened?"

Kevin jumped up. She saw an extra blanket on one of the chairs in the room and covered Tea with it. "You passed out. I found you on the bathroom floor. Todd came back and wanted mom. He's fine, so don't get crazy. Mom didn't want Rachel to miss being with her family for the seder so she called me to come stay with you."

"Todd's back? Is he . . . does he know what they did to him . . . I mean the tube . . . he must be frightened." Tea started to sit up.

Kevin gently pushed her back down. "You're not going anywhere. I'm calling Doctor Anderson to find out if he wants me to bring you back to the hospital."

"Kevin. I'm okay. I . . . felt dizzy . . . the bathroom was all steamy. I stayed in the shower too long."

"People don't pass out from staying in the shower," Kevin stated.

"I didn't know you had a medical degree, Doctor Buchanan."

"Tea, for God's sake! You heard what they told you. If you started to feel worse, you need to call them."

"I will! I'll call first thing in the morning. Right now I want to go see Todd."

"What do you wanna do, freak him out completely?"

"What the Hell are you talking about, Kevin!"

"What if you faint or get sick when you're with him. You know that will send him over the deep end. He has Mom and Sam with him. Susannah is with him. They'll call you if they need you there. Now I need to know what to tell your doctor. Did your head hurt before you fell?"

Tea pulled the blanket up around herself some more. Finding out she passed out was frightening to her, even though she tried to tell herself it was nothing. She also knew what damage it would do to Todd if she did get sick when she was with him. Tea took a deep breath and sighed. "Yes, my head's been hurting and I've had some dizziness."

"You mean all along, even before you came home?" Kevin looked at her sternly.

"Yes," Tea confessed.

"Man! You are as twisted as Todd! No wonder you two found each other. You were supposed to tell someone if you felt that way, Tea!"

"It wasn't that bad. I just need some rest." Tea said defensively.

"We'll let your doctor be the judge of that." Kevin dialed the hospital and asked them to if they could get Doctor Anderson to call Tea. They gave him the number for his office. The service would get hold of Doctor Anderson.

The phone rang a few minutes after Kevin had spoken to the doctor's answering service. Kevin filled in Doctor Anderson on what he had walked in on and then handed Tea the phone.

"Yes, I'm still a little dizzy . . . not much . . . not like before. I'm sure it was all the steam in the bathroom . . . a little nausea . . . no, no vomiting . . . Yes, I've been able to eat and keep it down . . . no double vision . . . no mood swings that I know of . . . no weakness in any extremity . . . mostly a headache . . . I don't think so . . . okay, just a minute." Tea felt her head. "No bumps."

"Tell him your head was resting on a thick bathroom rug when I found you." Kevin interrupted.

"Kevin said when I fell my head landed on a thick soft rug. I'm sure there was no further injury," Tea added to what Kevin told her to say to the doctor. "My neck and back are fine . . . no pain," Tea answered the doctors next questions. "I have been . . . I've not been doing much but sleeping since I got home . . . tomorrow morning? . . . Doctor Anderson, Todd just came back and I really wanted to see him in the mor . . ." Tea sighed. "All right. I'll come in for another CT scan first thing at nine tomorrow morning . . . Yes, I know I was supposed to follow up with another one anyway . . . No, I won't be alone. Kevin will stay with me until my roommate comes home. Thank you very much, Doctor. I'm sorry to bother you at home. Okay, thanks." Tea handed Kevin the phone. "Happy?" she snapped.

"Don't be a brat!" Kevin snapped back.

"Sorry," Tea muttered. She realized he was right. "I do appreciate you coming over here and finding me. Even though I would have woken up sooner or later."

"Yeah, I know. Tea Delgado doesn't need a soul in the world to take care of her."

"I think I've always done a good job of taking care of myself. I didn't have a mommy to go running to every time I scraped my knee. I learned how to take care of myself. I learned there was no point in crying because there was no one there to dry my tears."

Kevin was quiet for a few moments. "I'm sorry. No kid should have to grow up that way."

"You don't have to pity me, Kevin."

"I'm not. I just wish things could have been better for you."

"It's not like I was abused. So I didn't have someone to kiss my boo-boos away. It taught me to take care of myself. I learned how to clean and bandage my own wounds and make them go away without a kiss."

"What about the wound to your heart, Tea?" Kevin shook his head. "You and Todd are so much alike. Most of his physical wounds have healed and so have your scrapes and cuts. It's your hearts that have never healed. There's no bandaged you could put on your hearts. Both of you go through life acting like you don't need anyone until you can't pretend anymore. Todd got to where he can't pretend anymore. You don't want to let yourself get to that point, Tea. I know you've let Todd in. How about letting the rest of us in to help you until Todd can come back to you all the way? We can't kiss your wounds and make them go away, but we can all be your family. You don't have to play tough anymore. You have a whole lot of people around you now who will be there to dry your tears."

Tea burst into tears. After all she had been through in the past few days and with her emotions riding on the surface because of her head injury, Tea could no longer hold back. Kevin sat next to her again and took her in his arms as her body shook with sobs.

"Hey, guys. Am I interrupting something?" Rachel tried to keep her voice light. She had quietly let herself in, in case Tea was sleeping. When she saw neither of them in the living room, like Sam, she headed for the bedroom. Also, like Sam, Rachel's first instinct was to walk out quietly. She had felt a pang of jealousy when she saw Kevin holding Tea in his arms. At first she had thought the worst too. Unlike Sam, Rachel had her all her faculties about her. She quickly realized Tea was crying. She thought she'd make her presence known and give them the benefit of doubt.

Tea pulled away from Kevin quickly. She had done so because she was embarrassed to have yet another person seeing her vulnerable side. To Rachel it appeared as if Tea was caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Tea dabbed at the eyes with the hem of the sheet. That's when Rachel saw she was naked underneath it.

"I can come back later," Rachel said coldly.

"No! Why would you do that?" Kevin didn't understand. "You have to keep a close eye on Tea tonight."

"Kevin," Tea started to protest.

"It's either that or you go to the hospital," Kevin stated firmly.

"Hospital? What's going on?" Rachel's jealousy turned to concern.

"Tea passed out a little while ago. I found her near the tub. She took a shower and became dizzy."

Rachel rushed to the bed and sat down next to Tea. "Girlfriend, are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Kevin is making a big deal out of nothing. I spoke to my doctor and he said I should come in for a CT scan in the morning. There's no emergency. You don't have to stay up all night watching me."

Rachel looked around the room. She pointed to the lounge chair. "I'll be fine right here. It's just for one night. If you wake up and feel anything at all is not right, all you have to do is call softly and I'll hear you. I'm not that sound a sleeper."

"Rach, you don't have to cram yourself on the lounge. Sleep on the couch the way you have been. It's okay."

"I think staying here in the room with Tea is the best idea." Kevin added his two cents.

"Good then it's settled. Kevin can go home."

Kevin noticed that Rachel said that a little sharply, still he didn't think anything of it.

"Can I get either of you anything from outside before I go?" Kevin offered.

Both women shook their heads.

"I'll be here to pick you up for your doctor's appointment at eight fifteen," Kevin announced.

"You don't have to do that. I can take a car service or Rachel will drive me." Tea hated having anyone making decisions for her or taking over her life in anyway. She suddenly had the tiniest inkling of how horrible it must be for Todd to have no say in his own life.

"Tea' s right. I can drive her. You don't have to come here first thing in the morning." Rachel assured him.

Kevin thought about it for a few seconds. "What if she starts to feel dizzy and needs help walking? No, I'll be here. I can drive both of you there. If you want and I can pick you both up when Tea's ready to go home."

"I'm capable of driving my friend to the hospital and helping her, Kevin!" Rachel said snapped.

"Hey guys! Remember me?" Tea called out sarcastically. She hated that they were going on about this as if she weren't in the room. "Look, I appreciate you both fighting over me, but honestly, I don't give a damn if neither of you drive me. I can take a call for a car. The thing I do care about is getting there early enough so I have time to go see Todd before my appointment."

"No problem. I'll be here at seven-fifteen," Kevin said. "That should give you plenty of time to go see Todd."

Rachel cast him an annoyed look. She then turned to Tea. "Do you want me to go with you?"

Tea realized Rachel was upset. She didn't, however, have the complete picture of why. "Thanks, Rach. I would like that."

"The number for Doctor Anderson is by the phone in here. If you need him, his service will get him right away." Kevin informed Rachel.

"Thanks. Don't worry. I'll check on Tea often." Rachel's tone was more even. She hated that she still felt some jealousy now that she knew Kevin had been caring for Tea because she was sick. A tiny part of Rachel still wondered if that was all there was to it . . . concern for a sick friend.

"So how was the seder?" Kevin asked.

"Rachel, I'm sorry. Yes, how was the seder?" Tea added.

"It was very nice. Bill is the greatest and his kids are adorable. They had a great time. Your grandparents were there. I think Asa got a kick out of Bill's kids . . . Oh," Rachel smiled. "Mom even invited Bill's dog Patches. I think Mud found a new friend. I brought a lot of goodies home. I put them in the little mini fridge before I came in here. Can I get either of you something?"

Kevin and Tea both said they weren't hungry. "What I would really like is to get a nightgown on," Tea pulled the blanket up a little to emphasize her request, "and to get a good night's sleep. Rachel. I'm really feeling a lot better. Please promise me you won't stay up all night watching me."

"I promise, only if I sleep right next to your bed on the lounge chair."

Tea smiled. "Okay, but if you wake up with a backache don't blame me." Tea turned to Kevin. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah. Have a good nigh, both of you." Kevin declared.

"I'll walk you out," Rachel told him.

Kevin waited to see if Rachel was going to ask him to stay a while. Rachel waited to see if he said he wanted to. When neither of them said anything, Kevin broke the silence by saying, "You take good care of her."

Even thought that was not what Rachel had been waiting for Kevin to say, she certainly did care about Tea. "I will. Don't worry. I'll call you if there is any problem."

"Good," Kevin replied. "Well . . . uh . . . I'm happy you had a good time with your family. It must be nice to be home again . . . I mean . . .” Kevin smiled. Rachel could see he was uncomfortable. "You get some rest too. I'll see you both in the morning. Good night."

Rachel closed the door behind him. She sighed and went back to see if Tea needed help getting ready for bed.

*****

The staff had been able to keep Todd fairly calm. He was still feeling the effects of the sedation and that helped.

Viki arrived before Susannah. "How is he?" she asked immediately when Carl let her onto the unit.

"He's agitated and confused, but not too bad. He hasn't required any additional medication, other than his painkiller. He's still really out of it from the last sedative Jimmy was given."

"Is he still calling for me and his mother?"

"Yes. Then he's silent for long periods of time," Carl informed her.

"Is Sam with Todd?" Viki asked.

"No, we don't know where Sam is."

"What!" Viki was shocked.

"He's not in the lounge or the cafeteria. We think he might have gone out for a walk or something."

"Did you try calling his cell phone?" Viki was worried to death. She knew this was not like Sam.

"Yes. It doesn't seem to be turned on." Carl answered.

Now Viki was really scared. Sam never turned his phone off when he was away from Todd. She didn't realize that Sam's memory was not what it used to be. He kept it off as not to disturbed Jimmy. When he left, he forgot to turn it back on.

"I'll be in with Todd. If you hear from Sam, please let me know," Viki requested.

"Sure," Carl promised.

*****

"Mama . . . I'm scared . . . Viki . . . don't leave me . . . please . . . it hurts . . . he hurt me . . . please! . . . don't go away." Todd was crying out and moaning softly when Viki walked into his room. She rushed to his side.

"Todd, it's Viki. I'm right here, baby." Viki took his hand. "I'm never going to leave you. I'm here. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again." A flash of Viki's dream came back to her. She shuddered and quickly pushed it out of her mind.

"Viki?" Todd reached out with his other hand.

"Yes, sweetheart. It's Viki. I'm right here."

"Everything feels weird . . . floaty . . . I don't like it . . . my stomach hurts."

Susannah rushed into the room in time to hear what Todd said. "Todd. It's Doctor Hanen. Does your stomach hurt a lot?"

"Not as much as before."

They noticed that Todd's speech was slightly slurred. "Does it hurt more when you move around?" Susannah asked.

Todd shook his head. "It just hurts. I don't feel good. I feel weird."

"Todd you were given some medication to help you relax and sleep. That's why you feel weird."

"I don't want drugs. I told you. I don't like feeling weird. He wants to control me. I'm too noisy. I didn't mean to wake him up. I had bad dreams. I don't want the medicine. I can't think in school when he gives me medicine. The teachers get mad at me. He's making you give me drugs. He hates me."

Susannah and Viki exchanged confused looks. "Who is it that gives you drugs and wants me to give you drugs?"

"Asa and Bo . . . no my dad . . . no it's Asa . . . Asa and Bo. They don't like it when I have bad dreams and wake them up. They have to go to work in the morning. They make me take their sleep pills. I don't like the way it feels. It makes me feel funny when I wake up. They want me to be crazy. He says I'm crazy."

Susannah knew he was most likely confusing something that really happened with Peter, with his fears that the Buchanans were the ones doing this to him. "Was it your dad who said you were crazy?"

"He said only crazy kids have nightmares all the time. He said he was ashamed of me . . . no son of his would be crazy." Some tears slid out of the corners of Todd's eyes and hit the pillow. "He said mama is crazy too. He said her brain is all pickled. He said one of these days he's gonna call the men in white coats to come and get here and lock her away cause she's an embarrassment to him. He said she disgusted him. I don't want Mama to get locked away. I don't want the men to come and take her away. I'm an embarrassment to him and disgust him too. He'll have me locked away too. They make you give me drugs so I don't wake them up in the middle of the night. It makes my brain crazy. I can't think straight and the teachers get mad. Mama's gone now. They called my dad and told him I fall asleep in class. He was mad at me because now he couldn't give me the pills anymore. He made me stay up from Friday night to Sunday. He had to make a man out of me and teach me self-control. He had to teach me how to stay awake no matter how tired I was. He wouldn't give me anything to eat and only water to drink. He only let me go the bathroom twice each day. If I started to fall asleep . . ." Todd suddenly pulled his hand back sharply and screamed out in pain. He curled into a fetal position.

"What happens if you start to fall asleep?" Susannah pressed gently.

"He stabs my hand with that sharp thing from his tool box or pinches it with the pliers. My dad looks funny. His eyes look funny. He talked real fast that weekend. He moved around fast too. "No! Dad! Don't die! Daddy! Daddy! Don't leave me."

"Todd, tell me what's happening. Why do you think your dad's gonna die?" Susannah asked.

"On Sunday night he started to get all sweaty and he sat down at the kitchen table. He put his hand on his chest. He said his heart is beating so fast. He looked sick. He said it was all my fault. I drove him to it. I made him have to keep himself awake. Daddy! Don't leave me all alone. I'm scared! He said 'don't think that whore will come back to you if I die. She left because she didn't want to be around you. You'll go to an orphanage or to jail. They'll know you killed me.' I didn't! Daddy, I don't want to kill you. Please don't go away. I don't want to go to an orphanage or jail. Daddy!" Todd was getting more agitated.

Susannah didn't want him to go into a full-fledged flashback. "Okay, Todd. Shhhh. It's not happening now. You're safe here. You're in the hospital, in your own room. Viki's right here. Shhhh, you don't have to think about it anymore." Shhhh.

"I don't want my dad to die. He said his heart is going a mile-a-minute."

"Your dad didn't die then, Todd. He lived many years past that. I think what happened was your dad took some pills to keep him awake and they made his heart race. It wasn't your fault. You didn't make him do it." Susannah tried to get him to see the reality of the situation.

"I did. He wouldn't have had to stay up with me if I wasn't bad in school. I made them call him. He was trying to help me. He was trying to make a man out of me and teach me how to have self-control."

Viki, Susannah, and the staff that were in the room knew that Peter had twisted Todd's perception to such an extent that he didn't know up from down. He could not recognize Peter's sadistic cruelty as anything but discipline and deserved punishment. Todd also needed, so desperately, to believe Peter loved him that, in his own mind, he had to turn these acts of torture into displays of love and caring.

"Viki, are you still here?" Todd asked meekly.

"I'm here, sweetheart." Viki took his hand again.

"Don't you go away," Todd whispered.

"Never. I'll always be here with you," Viki swore to him.

"Is Sam here?" Todd asked.

Viki and Susannah exchanged looks. "He went out for a little while. He should be back soon," Susannah said quickly.

"Sam hates me," Todd said softly.

"Oh, baby. No. Sam loves you. He loves you with all his heart." Viki couldn't bear for him to think that.

"Sam thinks I'm disgusting because of what I let my dad do to me."

Viki held onto Todd's hand firmly. "Todd, you need to hear me. Sam loves you. He does not think you're disgusting because of what your dad did to you. You did nothing wrong. Your dad abused you. Sam wishes he had recognized what was happening to you and wishes he had rescued you. Sam is angry with himself for not seeing what your dad was doing to you and taking you out of that house." Viki hoped he was allowing himself to really listen to her.

"Sam had his own kids. They were good. He loved them. He went home to them. He didn't want a kid like me. He must've known I was such a loser and a disgusting pervert." Without warning, Todd gouged the nails of his right hand deep into his left arm. He left a trail of blood. "I HATE MYSELF!" he shrieked.

Susannah and Dave grabbed his wrists. "No hurting yourself, Todd. That's not okay," Susannah said firmly.

"I DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED! I HATE MYSELF! SHE SAW! SHE SAW! SHE KNEW WHAT I WAS LETTING HIM DO! SHE HATES ME! SAM HATES ME! LET GO! I DESERVE TO BE HURT! HURT ME! YOU HURT ME!"

Todd suddenly stopped struggling. He looked at everyone in the room. They could tell by his eyes and facial expression that he had switched. Susannah and Dave released his wrists. Connie had already gone to get what Susannah needed to clean up Todd's arm.

"Mommy hates me," he whispered slowly, in a detached voice. He curled up into a ball and pulled the sheet and blanket over his head.

They all recognized Andy's voice. Susannah new something was going on with Todd to cause Andy's sudden re-emergence. She was happy to see him come out spontaneously. Susannah knew his depression needed to be addressed and his coming out on his own was a fair indication that he might be ready to confront his issues. She also knew it could mean that Goodone, Mike or someone else in the system wanted Andy out and forced him.

"Hi, Andy. We haven't seen you for a while. We've missed you," Viki tried.

Susannah remembered that last time Andy had been out, he disclosed devastating accounts of sexual and physical abuse. She remembered Andy telling them that his mother had been called down to his school because he had been masturbating in class. He went on to tell them that Barbara Manning had acted cold to him when she got him home and a horrible argument with between Barbara and Peter had occurred when Barbara confronted Peter on sexually abusing him. Andy had heard his mother call what he had done disgusting. He heard her tell Peter that he'd be better off dead than living the kind of life Peter was giving him. He heard her tell Peter he would turn his son into a pervert. The very words Todd had just used.

Susannah remembered the other things Andy had disclosed about that day. Peter had made sure that Andy understood his body did not belong to him. Peter told him that he could only make it feel good if he said it was okay. Peter went on to force oral sex on the child, only this time; a drunken Barbara Manning had walked in on them. Andy heard her say, "I wish we had never brought that child into this house." In his six-year-old mind that was the same as her saying she wished he'd never been born. He'd also heard his mother attempt to call Victor Lord and threaten Peter with calling the mysterious James Porter.

As devastating as this part of the disclosure was to Andy, the worst for him was the memory of Peter beating Barbara for her attempted call and her threats. Andy had felt totally responsible. The most physically and emotionally traumatic revelation of all was Andy's disclosing that Peter grabbing a "big knife" from the kitchen and threatening both he and his mother with it. Andy, thinking that's what his father wanted since he had forced the child to do it many times, kissed Peter on the mouth and put his tongue in his father's mouth. This had only enraged Peter. He always had to be the one in control and the one with all the power. He somehow felt this tiny six year old was forcing him. Because of this, Peter had thrown Andy down and held the knife on him. When Barbara had attempted to get the knife away, Peter pulled his arm away and accidentally plunged the knife into Andy. Andy almost died of his wounds, when they became infected. To keep the family's secrets from becoming known, Doctor Evans had come to the house to treat Andy. Andy had nearly gone into shock after disclosing this. Shortly after he acted as nothing was wrong and then he went inside. He had not come out again until now. Some of the other alters had reported that Andy seemed to be in a deep depression all this time.

"Andy, tell me again why you think Mommy hates you," Susannah prompted.

"Cause Daddy likes me best," Andy cried out from under the blankets and sheet.

Susannah knew this was the way he referred to being the one Peter got the most pleasure out of sexually abusing. In part, Peter's pleasure was seeing the child's body respond to the physical stimulation. Because of this, Andy was the one Peter gave the most affection to during molestation. This was the only time Peter held, hugged, spoke nicely to, and showed any signs of love to this child. This part of it was what caused Andy's greatest shame and confusion. He craved all the good feelings while hating what he had to endure to get them.

"Mommy doesn't hate you, Andy. Mommy felt very bad that Daddy was hurting you. She wanted to make him stop and she didn't know how. It was your daddy mommy was angry with, never you." Susannah emphasized the word never.

Susannah and Dave stood close to the bed. They knew one of Andy's favorite means of escape was to crawl under the bed. Right now he was taking his refuge under the sheet and blankets.

"Andy, do you think you can come out from under there and talk to us?" Susannah coaxed.

She saw Andy shake his head.

"Can you tell me how being under there helps you?" Susannah pressed.

"It's like being dead and in the dark." Andy replied in a muffled voice.

Susannah saw the pained expression on Viki's face. "Do you want to be dead?" Susannah asked Andy.

"Uh huh," Andy replied.

"Do you think about hurting yourself?" Susannah continued.

"Un huh." They could see Andy's head nod under his protective cover.

"Do you think about how you will hurt yourself?" Susannah asked.

"I'm gonna take a big knife and cut my boy parts off and then I'm gonna cut my tongue off and then push the knife in my heart and then cut my head off."

Viki tightly covered her mouth with her hand to keep from gasping. She could not believe sweet, playful, funny and mischievous Andy had such ideas. Andy always seemed to be the one to get over things faster and easier than the others. Even right after his disclosure, the last time he was out, his sweet smile had lit up his face when Sam had done some card tricks for him.

"How would it help you to hurt yourself in those ways and then be dead?" Susannah asked him.

"I'd make everything bad go away. Sam!" Andy suddenly popped out from under his sanctuary and cried out.

Everyone in the room exchanged uncomfortable glances again.

Susannah sat down on the bed. "Andy, Sam had to go out for a little while. He'll be back soon. Viki has missed you so much. I know she'd like to visit with you for a while."

"Sam's mad at me. I'll be good. I'll be his best boy. I'll stay quiet and do what he tells me. I won't tell Mommy. I want Sam!" Andy began to cry.

"Sweetheart, Sam didn't know you’d be here. He had to go out. I'm sure he'll be back soon. Would you like to go see your dinosaurs?" Viki suggested.

"I want Sam!" Andy wailed. "He doesn't really wanna be my daddy too. He hates me. He's mad and Mommy thinks I'm disgusting and a prewurt. Viki's not my sister any more and she won't let me live with her."

"No, oh sweetheart, no." Viki sat down on the other side of the bed and pulled Andy into her arms. At first he tried to pull away, but then snuggled into her. "Andy, I will always be your sister. Baby, I love you so much. I want you to come home and live with me forever and ever." Viki kissed the top of his head. "I don't want you to hurt yourself. I'd be so sad. That would make me sadder than anything else in the world."

"Sam won't come on live with us. He don't wanna be my daddy too. He thinks I'm nasty."

"No!" Viki stated firmly. "Sam does not think that, not at all." Viki began to rock Andy. "Sam will be so happy when he comes back and finds out there you're here. He's missed you so much. Do you know what Sam will do when he sees you?" Viki looked into Andy's eyes. She saw pain there instead of the twinkle that would often be in them.

Andy shook his head.

"Sam will smile, from ear," Viki tickled Andy's right ear, "to ear." She tickled the left one.

Nothing, at that moment, could have meant more to Viki than the small smile she saw on Andy's face.

Andy moved around in Viki's arms and cried out in pain. "My tummy hurts!" Andy's hand reached for the left side of his abdomen, where the PEG tube was.

Viki gently held onto his hand before he could touch the tube.

"Andy, your tummy's going to be a little sore for a few days because there's a tube in your tummy. It'll . . ."

Andy started to cry before Susannah had a chance to say anymore.

Viki held him tightly and close to her heart. "Shhhhh. Sweetheart, it will hurt a little less each day. You don't have a tube in your nose anymore. The one in your tummy helps you eat so you stay nice and healthy."

"I don't want a tube in my tummy. Take it out. I don't like it. It hurts. Take it out!" Andy continued to cry.

Susannah came around to the side of the bed where Viki sat holding Andy. She knelt down to be in Andy's line of vision. "Andy." He continued to cry. "Andy, you need to listen to me."

Andy looked at Susannah as tears continued to fall down his cheeks. "I don't like it. My tummy hurts," he whimpered.

"Andy, I want you to think before you answer me. Does your tummy hurt a lot or a little?"

Andy sat quietly for a few seconds. "A little," he answered, honestly.

"Are you more upset because the tube scares you than because it hurts?" Susannah guessed.

Andy nodded.

"Do you want to see it?" Susannah offered.

Andy shook his head.

"Okay, you don't have to. I promise it's not going to hurt more than it hurts now and every day it will hurt less. It's just like the tube that was in your nose. Food goes into it. You won't be able to taste that food. You can still eat and drink anything you want the regular way. The tube has to be cleaned a couple of times a day and we'll make sure that it doesn't hurt you when we do that. Andy, you need to promise us that you won't touch the tube or play with it or try to take it out. Can you promise that?"

"If it keeps hurting will you take it away?" Andy inquired.

"If it hurts, we'll make it stop hurting. Now can you promise us that you won't touch the tube in any way?" Susannah pressed.

Andy thought about it for a few moments. Susannah was happy to see that. She knew he would take any promise he made seriously. Andy nodded.

Viki held Andy tightly pressed to her. "What a good boy you are. We're all so proud of you and I know Sam will be too. I'll tell him how brave you are as soon as he comes back."

Connie had been waiting outside the door with the bandages, antiseptic and antibiotic ointment. She figured, one trauma at a time. Andy had not even noticed his arm. It was still bleeding slightly. Connie approached him. They once again stood ready, should Andy try to dive under the bed. "Andy, look what I have . . . your favorite bandages, the ones with the Flintstones on them."

Andy didn't react the way they expected. He seemed to take no special joy over the mention of the Flintstones. He only shrugged and looked up at Connie. They could all see he was still suffering from depression.

"Andy," Susannah began. "I'm going to clean and bandage your arm. There's a boo-boo on it. It may sting for a few seconds and then it won't hurt at all."

As expected, Andy tried to get under the bed. "NO!" he shrieked.

Dave grabbed him and held him tightly. "Take it easy, buddy. It won't be so bad. You heard Doctor Hanen. It'll just sting for a few seconds and then you get to pick a Flintstones bandage."

"I WANT SAM! HE SAID HE WANTS TO BE MY DADDY. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH ME. ONLY DADDY! I WANT SAM! I WANT SAM! I'M NOT GONNA BE NICE TO YOU. YOU CAN PUNISH ME. I DON'T CARE! I'M ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE NICE TO DADDY! YOU STAB ME! YOU PUSH THE BIG KNIFE INTO MY HEART. PLEASE! MOMMY HATES ME. DADDY LIKES ME BEST! I WANT SAM! I WANT SAM! I WANT SAM!"

More staff came running in. Andy was fighting them with all his strength. He was escalating more and more by the second. No one's words were getting through to him. He was not able to hear them over his own anguish. Even though he was always afraid of any medical procedure, this was extreme behavior for Andy. Susannah knew the male staff touching him was causing further distress. She ordered another sedative, one that was right for Andy. Luckily he had not dislodged his IV. Since it was given IV, the medication worked almost immediately. Andy stopped struggling and became limp in their arms. When Susannah released his head, it fell to the side. He was whimpering softly and then he became silent as he fell into a deep sleep. They carefully laid him down and took care of his arm. They checked the PEG tube. It was okay.

Viki pulled the sheet and blanked up over Andy. Her tears fell on them as she tucked him in. Susannah put her arm around Viki's shoulder and led her to the lounge area outside Todd's room.

"Susannah, I can't believe Sam would just disappear this way. I don't know whether to be worried sick or furious with him. That child needed him and he was nowhere to be found. Not even a note or a phone call." Viki's anger quickly dissipated. "This is not at all like Sam. He's usually worried that Todd or one of them might need him if he only goes as far as the cafeteria or family lounge." Viki's voice trembled. "Do you think something happened to him?"

Secrets 112, Page 2