*****

"Hurry up Frank! I wanna make Téa come back faster." Tom called out as Frank was getting his clothes from the draw.

"Tom, you have to stop wiggling so I can get your hair brushed," Steve gently chastised him. Both men were smiling. They had never seen Tom so excited. They couldn't get him to stop fidgeting in the tub. He didn't even play with his bath toys the way he usually did.

"When's Doctor Hanen bringing my skates? I wanna practice so I'll be a good skater when Téa gets here!"

"Do you remember Doctor Hanen saying she would bring them to you after you eat breakfast?" Steve reminded him.

Tom thought for a moment. "No! That's no good. Téa will be here by then. I need to practice! I wanna be a good skater!" Tom insisted.

"Tom, don't you think that Téa would like to be the one to teach you," Steve pointed out.

"That's right buddy. I think Téa was looking forward to that," Frank added.

Tom thought about what they told him. "Okay. I wanna do what Téa likes. Did you know she came here special just to see me?" Tom asked them this for the fourth time.

Steve laughed. "We know, Tom. We know. You are very special to Téa. She loves you very much."

Tom was beaming. His smile was a pleasure to see. "Me and Téa are gonna have the best time." Tom emphasized the word best.

"We certainly are. I can hardly wait!" Téa walked into the room carrying a large pizza and another bag.

"Téa!" Tom shouted in delight. "See! I took a bath and got dressed real quick so Téa came back faster," Tom announced to Steve and Frank. He jumped off the bed and ran to Téa. "Téa, where's your skates?" Tom didn't see any bag big enough to hold a pair of skates.

"They're at the nurses station. They're just giving them a quick check to make sure there are no sharp edges on them. We are going to have our breakfast first. I brought you a chocolate shake to go with that pizza," Téa informed Tom.

"I love chocolate shakes!" Tom tried to throw his arms around Téa. She held the pizza box and the bag in the air. "Hey, we're going to have mashed pizza. Let me put this down."

Tom pulled away. "I'm sorry, Téa. Are you mad at me?"

"No, mijo." Téa laughed. "I'm not mad at you. I love it when you hug me." Téa's heart was full of joy at the huge smile her remark put on Tom's face.

Eileen came in. "Table's all set in the day room. Why don't you give me that box and bag and I'll put this out in there." Téa handed her the box and bag.

"Téa. I didn't learn how to skate good yet. You can teach me," Tom said happily.

"I'd love to. I've been looking forward to this for a very long time," Téa admitted.

Tom turned to Frank and Steve. "You were right! I'm glad I didn't become a good skater before Téa got here."

Frank rumpled Tom's hair. They headed for the day room.

Téa saw Tom was having a little trouble maneuvering the whole slice of pizza. He still had some hand tremors. Téa didn't want a repeat of the pancake incident. "Tom, you know what I really like?" Téa asked. He looked into her eyes and shook his head. "I like to pretend I'm at a party eating hors d’oeuvres."

"What's hors d’oeuvres?" A wide-eyed Tom asked.

"They are very small portions of food that people usually eat with their fingers."

"No Téa! You hate it when Todd eats with his fingers."

"I used to Tom. Not anymore. I actually miss eating with Todd and watching him eat. I miss eating with you too." Téa made sure to add.

"You really like to eat with your fingers?" Tom still sounded unsure.

"Watch," Téa said as she took a plastic knife and cut off a small section of one slice and popped it into her mouth.

Tom continued to stare at her. She could see he was still confused and afraid of upsetting her.

Téa put her arm around Tom's shoulders. "Would you like to know what I liked to pretend when I was about your age?"

Tom looked into Téa's eyes and nodded eagerly.

"I used to like to pretend that I was at a fancy ball. Like the kind in Cinderella."

"My mom likes that story. It's a girl's story. My mom used to read it to Baby Girl, but I'd listen. I know it real good."

"Who's Baby Girl?" Frank asked, keeping his voice casual.

Tom bit his bottom lip. He didn't know if he should say anymore. He hated that he was always talking out of turn. 'Pete's right. I have a big yap,' Tom thought to himself.

"Tom, it's all right to tell us about Baby Girl. You won't get into any trouble," Steve assured him.

Tom listened for a few seconds. He didn't hear anyone yelling at him to keep his mouth shut. "She used to live with us. I haven't seen her in a real long time. She was a real little girl, littler than Timmy. She liked to sit on our mom's lap and hear all those stories. Mom used to like to dress her in some old dresses she had. She liked to put ribbons in her hair. Mom said bought those things for her baby girl." Tom looked down. A tear slid down his cheek.

"Mijo, what is it? What's the matter? Did something make you sad?" Téa asked.

"One time our dad came home early and mom didn't have time to take the dress and ribbon off Baby Girl." Tom started to look frightened. "I don't want to talk about Baby Girl no more," Tom cried.

Téa gave Frank and Steve a pleading look that said, "Please let him enjoy this day."

"It's all right Tom. You don't have to talk or think about Baby Girl right now. Why don't you tell Téa about all the things the two of you can do after skating?" Frank suggested.

Tom turned to Téa. "You can stay with me all day?" He asked hopefully.

"All day mijo, as long as you want me to. I love spending time with you."

Tom's big smile melted Téa's heart. "We had better get to that pizza before it gets too cold. Now, I was telling you how much I liked Cinderella. Do you know why?" Téa asked Tom.

Tom shook his head. His eyes never left Téa's.

"When I was little I used to pretend I was at a huge fancy ball. I would put my hair up and wear this little crown I made from construction paper." Téa hadn't thought about this in years.

"How come you look so sad, Téa?" Did I do something bad?" Tom saw the sadness in Téa's eyes.

"Oh no mijo." Téa smiled at Tom and stroked his head. "You didn't do anything. I was just remembering something. You see my mami left when I was just a little girl and my papi was so sad and angry that he gave away almost all of my mami's things. He did keep a few things." Téa fingered the necklace she wore around her neck. She showed it to Tom. "This belonged to my mother."

"It's pretty!" Tom exclaimed. "My mom's gonna come back someday. Maybe your mom will too." Tom spoke hopefully.

Téa knew he believed that. She didn't say both their moms had died. Instead she asked. "Do you know that Todd once jumped in the river to save this for me when it fell in?"

Tom's eyes got wide. "Todd jumped in the river!"

"Yes he did. Wasn't that brave of him?" Téa asked.

Tom nodded. "Todd don't like being in the water a lot of times. Was he scared?"

"If he was, he didn't show it. He knew how much this meant to me. So if he was scared, he put my feelings above his own."

"That's cause Todd loves you a whole bunch. I used to hear him think that all the time. He didn't think you could really love him back cause he was so bad and not good enough for you." Tom was quiet for a moment. "You don't think I'm too bad and not good enough to love too, do you?" Tom asked anxiously.

Téa smiled and hugged him to her. She rubbed his back. "No mijo. I love you very much. I think you're a very good boy and I never thought Todd was not good enough or bad. I love both of you very, very much."

Tom hugged Téa back, however his eyes took on a haunted look. "You really love me even if you don't beat me?"

Téa had hoped he had come to realize that he didn't have to be hurt to feel love.

"Tom, listen to me. Hurting someone is not the way to show them that you love them. This is what loving someone makes you want to do." Téa hugged Tom again. She held him pressed against her as tightly as she could without hurting him. "And this," Téa added. She stroked his hair and kissed him on the forehead.

"I like the way you love me Téa. It doesn't hurt. You can still beat me if you want, so I'll learn to be a good boy, but I like this better."

"Mijo, you are a good boy." Téa never tired of repeating it. "You are such a good boy already and I love you with all my heart."

The gleam came back into Tom's eyes. He let go of Téa and ran to Frank. "Téa thinks I'm a good boy and she loves me." Tom was once again beaming. He made the rounds, running to all the staff members in the day room. He repeated it for each of them. They were all so happy that he finally seemed to believe it.

Téa walked over to Tom. "Tom, will you do something for me?"

Tom nodded once again.

"If you ever get a chance to talk to Todd will you tell him I never thought he was bad and I love him very much too?"

Tom nodded in agreement. "I don't like it when Todd is all sad. I'll bet he'll get really happy when I tell him that."

Téa had taken a chance on Tom's good and generous nature. She had hoped he would not be jealous of her love for Todd. She knew she was right. Tom wanted to see Todd happy. He didn't mind Téa loving Todd too or any of the other alters. No, Kevin seemed to be the only one Tom had a problem with. Still, Téa knew Tom wanted to be special to her. She put her arm around his shoulder. "But you, mijo, are the only one I want to go skating with and play Cinderella with."

"Just me!" Tom exclaimed. He looked as if he were going to burst with happiness.

"Just you," Téa repeated as she cupped his left cheek in her hand and kissed him on the right one.

"How do we play Cinderella?" Tom asked excitedly.

"Well, as I started to say. My dad gave away most of my mami's things. When he wasn't looking, I took this beautiful nightgown, that had belonged to my mami, out of the bag that he packed her things in."

Téa remembered her father bringing these shopping bags, that people had thrown away, up from the basement. Bloomingdale’s, Saks, Bonwit's, Lord and Taylor, Bergdof's. The bags came from all the expensive department stores tenants in the building her father was the janitor in shopped at. Téa's used to sit on her mother's lap. Her mother would tell her how someday, when she was rich and famous, she would take Téa to all these stores and they would be able to buy anything they wanted. As young as Téa was she sensed her mom's shame at being the janitor's wife. She used to see the pain and embarrassment in her mother's face when a tenant would ask her to clean up a mess or yell at her about a problem in their apartment. They had assumed, as the janitor's wife, she too was there to do jobs they thought were beneath them to do for themselves. When Téa saw her mom's bargain basement clothes and other personal items in those bags her chin began to quiver and tears slid down her chubby little girl cheeks. Even then, she saw the incongruity of her mom's things in bags from expensive stores. However, to Téa, her mom's things were worth more than every item in every store put together.

Téa continued. "It was white and felt like silk and I would put it over my clothes and use one of my papi's neckties as a sash around my waist to keep it from dragging on the floor. I pretended it was my ball gown. Now here comes the part about the hors d’oeuvres. I used to cut up food into little pieces and put them on a plate and pretend the plate was a silver tray. Then I would pretend I was eating at a ball every bit as fancy as the one Cinderella went to and then I'd pretend I was dancing with a handsome prince."

Téa had Tom's undivided attention as she finished her story. He listened in wonderment. "Tom, would you like to pretend we are at a fancy ball?"

"Yeah!" Tom answered enthusiastically. Then he remembered. "But Téa, we don't have any clothes to play dress up with."

"That's okay mijo. We can pretend. We do however have food we can cut up into hors d’oeuvres and eat with our fingers."

"Okay! Can I help you cut it up?" Tom was very excited.

Téa looked at the staff. They were very impressed at the round about way Téa got Tom not to feel bad about eating with his fingers. They nodded. Terry got another plastic knife for Tom. The staff moved closer as he and Téa began cutting several slices of pizza into small bite size pieces. They were confident he would stay safe with it. He was giving them no indication of wanting to hurt himself. Once it was done, they collected the knives. They also took the small pieces to warm them up a bit.

"Téa! Can we make crowns before the food comes back?" Tom pleaded.

Téa knew Tom wasn't allowed to use a scissor. "I love to do the cutting. Is it all right if I do that part and you can decorate them and tape them together?"

To her relief Tom agreed, not realizing she wanted to spare him being told he couldn't use the scissor.

Frank went to get the supplies they needed. It did all their hearts good to see Tom smile, giggle and laugh as he and Téa made their crowns. She made a red one for herself and Tom chose blue paper. He carefully and methodically laid out the silver and gold stars, wildflower stickers, and glitter pen he wanted to decorate Téa's crown with and the Star Wars and Lion King stickers he wanted to use to decorate his own. Tom worked slowly and carefully. After twenty minutes the crowns were done. He held Téa's up to her and smiled proudly.

"Mijo! That's beautiful! That the most beautiful crown I've ever seen. It's much prettier than the ones I had when I was little."

Tom's smile reached from ear to ear. "Put it on, Téa!" Tom jumped up and down excitedly.

Téa took it and was about to place it on her head when Tom shouted, "Wait! You have to put your hair up. You said you always put your hair up." Apparently Tom had taken in every word of Téa's story.

"Tom, I'm afraid I don't have a hairclip to hold my hair up." Téa knew how important doing everything to perfection was to Tom. She saw he was getting upset.

"No Téa! Your hair has to be up. You said you liked to play pretend dress up with your hair up." Tears were already forming in Tom's eyes.

"Here Téa," Janet called out as she took a clip that had been holding her own hair up and handed it to Téa.

"Thank you," Téa mouthed.

Janet nodded. No one wanted to spoil this day for Tom.

Téa put her hair up and placed the paper crown on her head. "Téa, you look just like a beautiful fairy princess," Tom stated. Téa could see the love and admiration in Tom's eyes. She felt beautiful. She then picked up Tom's crown. After admiring it and letting him know what a great job he did on that one too, she placed it on his head. Téa curtseyed. "Shall we have our pizza your majesty?" she asked.

Tom giggled and copied Téa's movements. "Here mijo. Boys do it like this." Téa placed Tom's hand around his waist and gently pushed his back down into a small bow.

Steve came back in with the warmed pizza. He shook the chocolate milk shakes Téa had brought and poured them in plastic cups. Tom had no trouble at all with the small pieces. He stared into Téa's eyes as he ate the first few. She could tell he was looking for any sign of disapproval at the sight of him eating with his fingers. After a while he relaxed and they enjoyed their breakfast, that by now was more of a brunch. Tom happily chattered about skating, Star Wars, puzzles and other happy topics that popped into his mind. When they were finished, Téa gently wiped his mouth and hands with damp washcloth that Frank brought her.

"There's my handsome Tom," Téa declared as she placed his hair behind his ears.

Suddenly Tom started to look sad. His chin began to quiver. She saw tears were on their way.

"Mijo, what's wrong?" Téa asked in concern.

"I don't know how to dance."

"Dance?" Téa inquired.

"You said you pretended to dance. We're supposed to dance!" Tom insisted.

Téa smiled. "Would you like me to show you how to dance?"

Tom looked even sadder and some tears fell.

Téa lifted Tom's face by the chin. "What mijo? Tell me. Why are you crying?"

"Cause I'm real clumsy and I won't be able to dance good."

Téa hugged him close to her. "You are not clumsy. I promise you. You are not clumsy. Come, let me show you how to dance." Téa rubbed Tom's back.

Tom lifted his tear stained face from Téa's shoulder. "I'm really not clumsy?"

"No mijo, not at all." Téa replied and wiped the tears off Tom's face with her fingers and smiled at him. She took his hands and positioned them correctly on her body. "Now you follow what I do," Téa instructed.

The staff moved some of the chairs and the table out of the way.

Tom copied Téa's steps. She moved slowly. At first Tom moved awkwardly. Despite this, Téa praised his every step. Soon he forgot his awkwardness and insecurity and was dancing along easily with Téa.

"Téa, am I really dancing?" Tom asked excitedly.

"Yes, mijo. You are really dancing and you are doing it beautifully," Téa confirmed.

"Frank! Look I'm dancing good. Steve, Terry, Janet, look! I'm dancing good!" Tom called out as he and Téa continued to dance.

The staff's smiles were as big as Tom's and Téa's. "Your doing great buddy," Frank called out.

"Tom, you're a wonderful dancer," Janet added.

"You smell real good, Téa," Tom declared. "My mom used to smell real good too. Unless she was drinking that booze stuff."

"Your mom loved you a lot, Tom. I hope you know that," Téa stated.

"I loved my mom a whole lot. I love you a whole lot too. Please don't ever go away forever, Téa," Tom begged.

"Don't worry, mijo. I'll never leave you. I know that's hard to believe when you've been left by someone who said they loved you and promised to take care of you."

"Did your mom say she loved you and promise to take care of you?" Tom asked, sadly.

Téa nodded. Tears formed in her brown eyes. "She did," Téa admitted.

"I'm sorry you got left too, Téa. I'll never leave you either." Téa saw great sadness in Tom's eyes.

"I know you won't," Téa confirmed. She hugged Tom a little tighter. "Prince Tom, you are a marvelous dancer," Téa complimented. Tom giggled. Téa began to hum "Once Upon A Dream," from the Disney version of the animated Cinderella movie she remembered as a child. She and Tom continued to glide across the day room floor.

Secrets 103, Page 2